Haven't touched a drop in...

auldgranny

realies wrote: »

How we all doing ? I know it's a very quite time of year but it's also a very testing time for a lot of us folks here.

Keep posting, no matter what, it's good to get it out of ya...

Bad day yesterday. After ten days I drank. No reason once again, I just did it. Two bottles of wine. I am so disappointed with myself.

mickydoomsux

realies wrote: »

How we all doing ? I know it's a very quite time of year but it's also a very testing time for a lot of us folks here.

Keep posting, no matter what, it's good to get it out of ya...

I have to say, I was very tempted to have a few on a number of occasions this weekend. Literally everyone I know was out drinking at some point.

This country is so hard to live in sometimes. Every single occasion involves drink, especially down the country where I live. I sometimes feel like jacking in the whole sobriety thing because it seems that there's more of a stigma attached to that than there is to being a roaring drunk.

I barely see anyone any more because there's no where to meet other than the local. Supposed to be going to the cinema with a friend today but it will all depend on how hung over he is because he was at a shindig that I was invited to and didn't go to last night.

FTA69

Friday - finished work and went training as usual. Went home afterward and watched The Shield.

Saturday - woke up early, cooked myself a nutritious breakfast. Went to town for a demonstration. Had lunch with friends afterward. Cooked myself a nice dinner and went to the cinema.

Sunday - woke up early again; did a 10k Run for charity. Had lunch with friends again. Watched the GAA all day while drinking Diet Coke and having the craic. Had some Nandos after the football. Went home and read an interesting and informative book and went to sleep at 11pm.

Monday - feel great, getting things done in work. Will go training tonight and do 5/6 rounds continuous sparring. Total spend - £60

This is in marked contrast to my usual weekend of:

Saturday - Wake up early and go to work. Finish work at 2pm. Meet friends after work and get on the beer at around 4pm. Lash into pints solid all day, usually go for food where I'll neck another 4 bottles of beer. Often end up in a lock in or stumbling around Angel or Camden until 3am. Stuff myself full of sh*t again at some stage. Collapse in bed with little or no recollection of going home.

Sunday - Sometimes wake up next to some woman I don't even like, often still drunk/dying. Get sick in the jacks. Eat a completely rubbish "breakfast" around 1pm. Feel jittery, miserable and anxious. Head to the pub again at 3/4 pm for a "cure" and to watch the GAA. Drink 8 pints of Guinness and eat a roast dinner in the pub. Go home around 9pm. Feel reasonably sober but horribly depressed. Eat a snack box. Drink another 2 cans in bed.

Monday - Wake up f*cked. Feel like a cloud of doom is hanging over my head. Go to work in a fug and do the bare minimum. Go training in the evening; gas badly in the ring and get punched in the face by an Albanian. Get shouted at for being in a state by angry Turkish coach. Die in a pile of sweat.

Total spend - £170

I definitely know which one I prefer now. The thing is, the occasional stomp around town on the beer is a great thing in moderation but I'm fast coming to the conclusion that I don't want it to be a weekly thing eating into my sanity and finances.

enoughalready

This weekend I am 8 months sober. Was out in a pub environment as it was a special occasion and it was the last place in the world I wanted to be. I did however realise it meant more to my friend to be there for her than my own issues so I made an exception to the rule and went along, I drove and also left early so I was fine. I had a strong mental frame of mind that day so wasn't tested as much as I was a few weeks ago.

I was asked why I wasn't drinking and instead of saying it was because I had the car or that I was working the next day (both of which were true) I just said that I've given it up as it has been holding me back the last ten years and since I've thrown in the towel nearly every aspect of my life has improved. This is down to (a) not drinking alcohol and (b) me making a conscious decision to push and improve myself. Work out a lot of my issues and get help from any source I can. I find being open and honest with people about whats going on is better in the long run. How great it is to be free from the lies and excuses, to be truthful and say well life is unmanageable when I drink so I just don't. You'd be surprised about the reaction and the people you'd least expect are usually sound and accepting of that choice.

Still struggling with AA though, I haven't been in 2 months. I need to work out why I feel frightened about that aspect and work on it, as I know deep down it helps to be part of a group that knows EXACTLY what I'm going through.

This road is not without its challenges and struggles but once you push past a few obstacles it starts to get much easier or you become better equip to deal with whatever life has to throw at you. Best of luck to everyone and enjoy the bank holiday (",)

GerB40

realies wrote: »

How we all doing ? I know it's a very quite time of year but it's also a very testing time for a lot of us folks here.

Keep posting, no matter what, it's good to get it out of ya...

There's been good days and tougher days but next Saturday marks 100 days sober so I'm feeling positive about that. I feel like I'm a good way from where I want to be but definitely heading in the right direction. Enjoy the bank holiday folks...

thebaz

just a word from my experience - I have tried stopping many many times - habitual relapser - sober now awhile , but got to stay away from pubs in the early days , maybe once a week , or for something to eat - but i know i would relapse if i went to a pub 3 times for a session in my first week - alway did , start out on ballygowan , and eventually said sod this , and started to get hammered. Good luck , just a little advice from my experience.

Amazingfun

auldgranny wrote: »

Bad day yesterday. After ten days I drank. No reason once again, I just did it. Two bottles of wine. I am so disappointed with myself.

Rather than beating yourself up (which makes a handy excuse for more drinking btw , the old "committee in the head" loves to have a reason to make you feel worthless and have you think "well I am back on it it again so F*ck it, I'll just keep drinking!), why not just note (again) that you cannot do this on your own.
In AA, we'd call this experience just another day in the "long tedious process" towards final (and grudging) acceptance of the fact we simply cannot control and enjoy our drinking. And we never will.
The good times with drink are long over; the time for goodbyes is well nigh

Getting out of the ring with alcohol is the only way- the fight is over and we lost. But sometimes in this crazy life, you have to "lose" to win, lol, as strange as that sounds.

Bottom line: there are loads and loads and loads of AA meetings on today all over this country. Anyone with a desire to stop drinking is most welcome.

http://www.alcoholicsanonymous.ie/Information-on-AA/Find-a-Meeting



*******

As for what I did myself this weekend, I relaxed and hung out with various friends, mainly sober ones. We had way too much coffee and treats at various lovely locales, cycled all over the city, went out to dinner, went for walks and laughed our arses off after getting caught in a mad downpour Saturday night.

I am about as grateful as one can be for being sober at the moment despite my personal situation not being perfect (a few challenges in the health department, etc) but whose life is perfect anyways? All I know is I wouldn't trade my sobriety for anything.

Great to hear so many are doing well with it, and again to those struggling: today is a new day and a chance to choose a different road. Good luck.

TheBrig

Hi all

Im nearly 5 years sober however had a slip there 2 weeks ago which I'm disgusted at. I know it was triggered by a row with my parents but still...no excuse. I also reckon its down to the fact I don't go to AA meetings and try to go it alone. Like enoughalready says, I struggle with going to meetings, maybe its an acceptance thing? Anyway, I'm going to start going back to AA this week, if anyone fancies bringing me to one they go to I'd be very grateful. Anywhere city centre would be great. Keep up the good work everyone!

marienbad

TheBrig wrote: »

Hi all

Im nearly 5 years sober however had a slip there 2 weeks ago which I'm disgusted at. I know it was triggered by a row with my parents but still...no excuse. I also reckon its down to the fact I don't go to AA meetings and try to go it alone. Like enoughalready says, I struggle with going to meetings, maybe its an acceptance thing? Anyway, I'm going to start going back to AA this week, if anyone fancies bringing me to one they go to I'd be very grateful. Anywhere city centre would be great. Keep up the good work everyone!

I know it isn't for everyone but I don't think I would have made it without the help of my AA friends

TheBrig

marienbad wrote: »

I know it isn't for everyone but I don't think I would have made it without the help of my AA friends

Hi Marienbad, yes I am beginning to realise i need a support group of people who completely understand. I have been to a few before and felt great afterwards so i have no idea why I'm hesitant now! Maybe I had lulled myself into falsely believing I was fine ;-)

marienbad

TheBrig wrote: »

Hi Marienbad, yes I am beginning to realise i need a support group of people who completely understand. I have been to a few before and felt great afterwards so i have no idea why I'm hesitant now! Maybe I had lulled myself into falsely believing I was fine ;-)

All I can say is that I just stopped arguing with myself over AA, it came down to a simple choice really - did I want to be a drunk or did I want a sober life . All the objections I had were actually quite laughable , I refused to accept this that or the other and all based on so called principles .

When in reality I would (and did) lie cheat and steal from my family friends and job to enable me to continue drinking. Funny how those principles seemed to be disposable .

My advice (for what its worth) give yourself a break , resign from the debating society and stick with those who understand you.

Worked and is still working for me.

drydub

Bad blowout yesterday... 10+ pints yesterday. Feeling miserable today with empty wallet :-(

Tomorrow's a new start

quinrea01

enoughalready wrote: »

This weekend I am 8 months sober. Was out in a pub environment as it was a special occasion and it was the last place in the world I wanted to be. I did however realise it meant more to my friend to be there for her than my own issues so I made an exception to the rule and went along, I drove and also left early so I was fine. I had a strong mental frame of mind that day so wasn't tested as much as I was a few weeks ago.

I was asked why I wasn't drinking and instead of saying it was because I had the car or that I was working the next day (both of which were true) I just said that I've given it up as it has been holding me back the last ten years and since I've thrown in the towel nearly every aspect of my life has improved. This is down to (a) not drinking alcohol and (b) me making a conscious decision to push and improve myself. Work out a lot of my issues and get help from any source I can. I find being open and honest with people about whats going on is better in the long run. How great it is to be free from the lies and excuses, to be truthful and say well life is unmanageable when I drink so I just don't. You'd be surprised about the reaction and the people you'd least expect are usually sound and accepting of that choice.

Still struggling with AA though, I haven't been in 2 months. I need to work out why I feel frightened about that aspect and work on it, as I know deep down it helps to be part of a group that knows EXACTLY what I'm going through.

This road is not without its challenges and struggles but once you push past a few obstacles it starts to get much easier or you become better equip to deal with whatever life has to throw at you. Best of luck to everyone and enjoy the bank holiday (",)

Congrats on the eight months- a major achievement. You are definitely headed in the right direction. Don't worry too much about your feelings on AA. Sometimes it can be a scary place to be, but I reckon worrying about upcoming meetings can be worse than actually being there in the room. There were times when I was dumbstruck at meetings out of sheer terror of what people might think of me, but then I looked around the room at other people and realized we were all in the same boat and that thought alone made me feel much more at home. Hang in there and just take it a day at a time. Yes, I know it sounds like a cliche, but it really does work. Success to you and to all of us.

enoughalready

quinrea01 wrote: »

Congrats on the eight months- a major achievement. You are definitely headed in the right direction. Don't worry too much about your feelings on AA. Sometimes it can be a scary place to be, but I reckon worrying about upcoming meetings can be worse than actually being there in the room. There were times when I was dumbstruck at meetings out of sheer terror of what people might think of me, but then I looked around the room at other people and realized we were all in the same boat and that thought alone made me feel much more at home. Hang in there and just take it a day at a time. Yes, I know it sounds like a cliche, but it really does work. Success to you and to all of us.

Thanks quinrea01 - going to make it my goal to start going back to AA meetings from September on wards. Gives me time to read up more literature and prep myself as want to get a sponsor and follow twelve steps which I have no idea about at present. I have the big book here beside me and I'm going to read it now for a while before bed. Cheers again (",)

leinsterdude

so how do i know Im an alcoholic ? I love beer, but only four to five on a night out, drink at home 3 days a week, do not need drink to function though.....but always looking forward to the next beer...when Im alone I love a few beers and a movie etc, would till only have about four, maybe five even if no work next day....just wondering do I have a problem ?
Cheers

mickydoomsux

Do you reckon you could stop completely and it would be alright? As in, no craving etc.

If you can just stop without their being any issues whatsoever then you aren't an alcoholic. If you stop for a handful of days and then try to justify starting again by making it a reward for being off it for X amount of days or making it a treat because it's the weekend or whatever then you may have a problem or the beginnings of one.

quinrea01

leinsterdude wrote: »

so how do i know Im an alcoholic ? I love beer, but only four to five on a night out, drink at home 3 days a week, do not need drink to function though.....but always looking forward to the next beer...when Im alone I love a few beers and a movie etc, would till only have about four, maybe five even if no work next day....just wondering do I have a problem ?
Cheers

If you think it might help you to decide if you are an alcoholic or not, why not test yourself? Try staying completely off all forms of alcohol, no matter what situation arises, for one month. You may still not have a definitive answer at the end of the month if you succeed, but it will sure give a fairly good indication. Best of luck.

Sunnyisland

leinsterdude wrote: »

so how do i know Im an alcoholic ? I love beer, but only four to five on a night out, drink at home 3 days a week, do not need drink to function though.....but always looking forward to the next beer...when Im alone I love a few beers and a movie etc, would till only have about four, maybe five even if no work next day....just wondering do I have a problem ?
Cheers

It's not always easy to see when your drinking has crossed the line from moderate or social use to problem drinking. But if you consume alcohol to cope with difficulties or to avoid feeling bad, you’re in potentially dangerous territory. Alcoholism and alcohol abuse can sneak up on you, so it’s important to be aware of the warning signs and take steps to cut back if you recognize them. Understanding the problem is the first step to overcoming it.

Here's a an Alcohol test, might help might not as only you really know what alcohol is doing to your life.

https://ncadd.org/learn-about-alcohol/alcohol-abuse-self-test

KrustyBurger

You could try https://www.hellosundaymorning.org/ You sign up to quit drinking for a specified time.

leinsterdude

realies wrote: »

It's not always easy to see when your drinking has crossed the line from moderate or social use to problem drinking. But if you consume alcohol to cope with difficulties or to avoid feeling bad, you’re in potentially dangerous territory. Alcoholism and alcohol abuse can sneak up on you, so it’s important to be aware of the warning signs and take steps to cut back if you recognize them. Understanding the problem is the first step to overcoming it.

Here's a an Alcohol test, might help might not as only you really know what alcohol is doing to your life.

https://ncadd.org/learn-about-alcohol/alcohol-abuse-self-test

Got a score of four I'm ok maybe ??

GerB40

Right I've a question that might not prove popular but here it goes.
Firstly I'll start with a bit of back story. Years ago I was diagnosed with anxiety disorder bordering on agoraphobia. Constant panic attacks over absolutely nothing but when they were happening I honestly felt close to fainting/dying and pretty much gave up on any hope of a future at all.
Then I started self medicating with alcohol which worked for a while but if we fast forward ten years I've the doctor telling me that if I don't completely abstain from drinking I'll probably be dead in 10 to 15 years.
I'm sober 100 days tomorrow which is nice but the panic attacks are back, not as bad as they were but still very prohibiting in my day to day life.

Now here's the potentially unpopular part. It regards AA meetings. I can't face them yet and I know it. I can barely go to the shop 5 minutes away without being a nervous wreck.
Yet I've went 100 days without meetings and it's working for me. Of course I've had the bad days and the good (great actually) but I was wondering is AA essential for staying sober?

Has anyone here stopped drinking and stayed sober for a lenghty amount of time without attending any meetings or is it an inevitably that I'll end attend.
P.S. I've nothing against AA but I'd like to give a go on my own..

Sunnyisland

GerB40 wrote: »

Right I've a question that might not prove popular but here it goes.
Firstly I'll start with a bit of back story. Years ago I was diagnosed with anxiety disorder bordering on agoraphobia. Constant panic attacks over absolutely nothing but when they were happening I honestly felt close to fainting/dying and pretty much gave up on any hope of a future at all.
Then I started self medicating with alcohol which worked for a while but if we fast forward ten years I've the doctor telling me that if I don't completely abstain from drinking I'll probably be dead in 10 to 15 years.
I'm sober 100 days tomorrow which is nice but the panic attacks are back, not as bad as they were but still very prohibiting in my day to day life.

Now here's the potentially unpopular part. It regards AA meetings. I can't face them yet and I know it. I can barely go to the shop 5 minutes away without being a nervous wreck.
Yet I've went 100 days without meetings and it's working for me. Of course I've had the bad days and the good (great actually) but I was wondering is AA essential for staying sober?

Has anyone here stopped drinking and stayed sober for a lenghty amount of time without attending any meetings or is it an inevitably that I'll end attend.
P.S. I've nothing against AA but I'd like to give a go on my own..

If not going to AA is working for you that's fine, there no rules in what way we try and beat this addiction excepts the one that you/we really want to stop.

I am coming up to six years alcohol free and at the start of my journey I did not use AA, I did go to a group therapy and one on one counciling ? But did not do the 12 steps.

After a few months I did drop in to AA a few times,it was nice to be around like minded people and to listen and learn,I took from it what I wanted and left what I did not.

I now live abroad and approx two months ago I went to the local AA meeting,that would be at least four years since I last went, it was great and very uplifting, I am now going twice a week Wednesday and Sundays and look forward to them,I have learned a lot more of what AA has to offer and what it gives.

Tltd

I got alcohol free with out AA but now after nearly six years I enjoy going to meetings and sharing and listning.

and I now got promoted to chairperson


I put the chairs out at the start and put them back at the end :-)

leinsterdude

Try a mindfullness course, in Oscailt Pembroke riad Dublin 4, very good.

Amazingfun

.....and I now got promoted to chairperson

I put the chairs out at the start and put them back at the end :-)

Only a fellow AA knows how funny this is :P

Amazingfun

but I was wondering is AA essential for staying sober?

It is for me, but certainly not for everyone. In your own case it sounds like you really need to start checking into what is causing these panic attacks. I really feel for you, they sound awful.

My only suggestion is to make sure your thyroid and all that kind of stuff is ok, but I am sure you and your GP are on the case (at least I hope so).

The way I see AA is as "the last house on the block", as in, if everything else has failed .....we'll still welcome you haha I have no problem accepting the fact I was a pretty bad drunk and it took a lot of failures to get me to admit defeat.
If you try your other methods, whatever they are, I am sure everyone wishes you all the best. However,if you find you simply cannot stop on your own, we'll always have a seat with your name on it

Also: there are LOADS of online meetings and the like. I am sure you'd find them easier to handle when the panic attacks are on.

Sunnyisland

Folks as it's very quite around here which is to be expected for this time of year I thought I would post this as a reminder

It's is so easy, when life feels tough, to lose sight of the good things. Sometimes we need to take timeout to remember things that make us feel happy, encouraged, inspired, thankful. Try to take 5 minutes alone today and let your mind reflect on some good times you’ve had, or some present people or experiences that input your life positively. Especially if you can’t think of much, make a decision to build something good into your daily life. Call up that friend for a coffee. Buy that skirt you were wanting or the new bit of sports equipment you’ve had your eye on! Take your kids to the zoo or a museum maybe. If money is tight go sit inn a park or garden and allow nature to sooth or delight you again. Go on!! Do something nice! Plant a good memory… and then another…. and another.

Diablo Verde

9 months yesterday

A nice coincidence that it was also my birthday yesterday, and got to spend it with some great friends, none of whom felt the need to question the fact that I don't drink.

I'll be running the Valencia marathon on 16th November, which by another happy coincidence falls on the day that I'll have been 1 year free from alcohol.

Life is great!

Mickey Dazzler

So Im around a bit now and foolishly though all would be gravy but its not....

The drinking life nearly destroyed my mind in the end… my sense of self, my once abundant self confidence was gone. I though that when I quit I’d be “fixed” but I’m not. I just don’t know who I am anymore. I was so sure of myself once upon a time. Its ironic as I had nothing to be sure about and now I have achieved so much and should be standing tall but I’m not. I’m afraid of my own shadow. So much of my personality was caught up in the wild man persona, which became pretty desperate towards the end. But I don’t know which is worse. I can’t even speak now. Literally. The words don’t come out..

I don't want to discourage anybody who is just staring out... it is the best decision I ever made.......but....

marienbad

Diablo Verde wrote: »

9 months yesterday

A nice coincidence that it was also my birthday yesterday, and got to spend it with some great friends, none of whom felt the need to question the fact that I don't drink.

I'll be running the Valencia marathon on 16th November, which by another happy coincidence falls on the day that I'll have been 1 year free from alcohol.

Life is great!

Just outstanding !!

marienbad

Mickey Dazzler wrote: »

So Im around a bit now and foolishly though all would be gravy but its not....

The drinking life nearly destroyed my mind in the end… my sense of self, my once abundant self confidence was gone. I though that when I quit I’d be “fixed” but I’m not. I just don’t know who I am anymore. I was so sure of myself once upon a time. Its ironic as I had nothing to be sure about and now I have achieved so much and should be standing tall but I’m not. I’m afraid of my own shadow. So much of my personality was caught up in the wild man persona, which became pretty desperate towards the end. But I don’t know which is worse. I can’t even speak now. Literally. The words don’t come out..

I don't want to discourage anybody who is just staring out... it is the best decision I ever made.......but....

The alcohol just concealed problems that were already there. Sooner or later they would have manifested themselves . You made the right decision ,hang in there and fight the good fight ,do the right things , it will pass and you will win.