Haven't touched a drop in...

Sunnyisland

How you doing Jeremymurphy ?

Sunnyisland

Well I still clean sober and getting a long with life, it still has its bumbs and turns but I am dealing with it in a clear focused way and not the imagined illusion of the drunken mind, happy days roll on January 13th, 7 years. Wippee.

souls

That is fantastic Realies! Well done to you!
Thank you for all your advice and support! you are the backbone of this forum

realies wrote: »

Well I still clean sober and getting a long with life, it still has its bumbs and turns but I am dealing with it in a clear focused way and not the imagined illusion of the drunken mind, happy days roll on January 13th, 7 years. Wippee.

GerB40

realies wrote: »

Well I still clean sober and getting a long with life, it still has its bumbs and turns but I am dealing with it in a clear focused way and not the imagined illusion of the drunken mind, happy days roll on January 13th, 7 years. Wippee.

The first of November was my year and a half mark, that felt pretty good. I'm kinda dreading Christmas but I definitely feel more prepared this year than I was last year. On my bad days I sometimes go through this thread and feel stronger for having done so. Some of the stories people have shared are great whether they're happy or sad. Fair play to everyone for sharing what are deeply personal things and fair play realies, 7 years.. That's pretty impressive. It's stories like that, that give people like me strength and belief that it can be done. And best of luck everyone over the upcoming weeks...

petes

Fair play realies!!

37 days I have no compulsion to have a drink whatsoever and haven't for a while. I do get the odd notion of how I'd like to head out and have five or six pints like I used to and have the craic. As it stands I can't have one... ever!! Okay day today, meeting this morning, dinner and a coffee, couple of hours of exercise, more coffee and then home to eat more.

My appetite is something else these days, a friend at work says I'm the skinniest fat Bastard he knows!!

I wasn't eating properly because of drinking and because of other issues (mental). Sleep is still a bit of a ****er, sleep early and wake up a few times a night but that's not the drinking issues.

All in all apart from other things I deal with drinking is a bit lower on the scale. This would mainly be down to attending about five meetings a week. I aim to be 24 hours sober every day. Keep up the good work everyone and that for those that are struggling you are in my thoughts!!

the evasion_kid

petes wrote: »

Fair play realies!!

37 days I have no compulsion to have a drink whatsoever and haven't for a while. I do get the odd notion of how I'd like to head out and have five or six pints like I used to and have the craic. As it stands I can't have one... ever!! Okay day today, meeting this morning, dinner and a coffee, couple of hours of exercise, more coffee and then home to eat more.

My appetite is something else these days, a friend at work says I'm the skinniest fat Bastard he knows!!

I wasn't eating properly because of drinking and because of other issues (mental). Sleep is still a bit of a ****er, sleep early and wake up a few times a night but that's not the drinking issues.

All in all apart from other things I deal with drinking is a bit lower on the scale. This would mainly be down to attending about five meetings a week. I aim to be 24 hours sober every day. Keep up the good work everyone and that for those that are struggling you are in my thoughts!!

Take it a day at a time Pete's but be careful with those Xanax,I've heard its hell on earth if you end up addicted to them and then withdraw.

Kunkka

Great stuff Realies

GerB40 wrote: »

The first of November was my year and a half mark, that felt pretty good. I'm kinda dreading Christmas but I definitely feel more prepared this year than I was last year. On my bad days I sometimes go through this thread and feel stronger for having done so. Some of the stories people have shared are great whether they're happy or sad. Fair play to everyone for sharing what are deeply personal things and fair play realies, 7 years.. That's pretty impressive. It's stories like that, that give people like me strength and belief that it can be done. And best of luck everyone over the upcoming weeks...

Well done mate, Christmas is just another day. Just live in the day, once you grasp that life becomes so much easier. No more anxiety once you keep your head right.

Also, wouldn't it be nice to read the Winds of Winter sober when it's expected in early 2016?

GerB40

Kunkka wrote: »

Great stuff Realies



Well done mate, Christmas is just another day. Just live in the day, once you grasp that life becomes so much easier. No more anxiety once you keep your head right.

Also, wouldn't it be nice to read the Winds of Winter sober when it's expected in early 2016?

To be honest I'm more optimistic about having a dry Christmas but we'll see

petes

the evasion_kid wrote: »

Take it a day at a time Pete's but be careful with those Xanax,I've heard its hell on earth if you end up addicted to them and then withdraw.

I'm on a smaller dose but sometimes I get overwhelmed and have to take another one. Read up on the addiction side and sounds like hell withdrawing from them, worse than drink!!

Kind of only take them as prescribed or as needed but having an addictive personality I have to watch myself.

As said above, I'm living in the day and try not to look ahead anymore than that. Another meeting this morning. Have a good sober Sunday everyone

GerB40

petes wrote: »

I'm on a smaller dose but sometimes I get overwhelmed and have to take another one. Read up on the addiction side and sounds like hell withdrawing from them, worse than drink!!

Kind of only take them as prescribed or as needed but having an addictive personality I have to watch myself.

As said above, I'm living in the day and try not to look ahead anymore than that. Another meeting this morning. Have a good sober Sunday everyone

After I gave up drinking I ended up addicted to benzo's and from my experience I can honestly say that they were far harder to give up than drink. With alcohol, once you're able to avoid situations where it is served it's not too bad, although that's different for everyone. Tablets on the other hand just take an instant hold of your life and don't let go easily. Like you said, it's hell. So if I could give you advice I'd say be very careful. They are useful when you give up drinking at first but alcohol withdrawl is natural and if you turn to medication every time you're 'going through it' you'll end up swapping one addiction for another. I hope I could help..

petes

GerB40 wrote: »

After I gave up drinking I ended up addicted to benzo's and from my experience I can honestly say that they were far harder to give up than drink. With alcohol, once you're able to avoid situations where it is served it's not too bad, although that's different for everyone. Tablets on the other hand just take an instant hold of your life and don't let go easily. Like you said, it's hell. So if I could give you advice I'd say be very careful. They are useful when you give up drinking at first but alcohol withdrawl is natural and if you turn to medication every time you're 'going through it' you'll end up swapping one addiction for another. I hope I could help..

That's the one thing I said to my councellor, I don't want to swap one for the other. If it's hell coming off an addiction to benzos I don't want to know about it. I had a hard enough time withdrawing from alcohol!

I'll be using them sparingly!!

marienbad

GerB40 wrote: »

To be honest I'm more optimistic about having a dry Christmas but we'll see

Lets all stick together on our meeting place here , do what we know we have to do , support each other and we will all have a great Christmas

enoughalready

I'm back! Hope everyone is well. I fell off the wagon in May after 18 months sober. Then tried to get back on track soon after but needed major surgery and ended up being prescribed morphine based pain killers, which were very dangerously addictive. I thankfully knew my own addictive behaviour and have managed to come off them without too much turmoil.

Any way last week I attended a friend's wedding and ended up drinking on top of my medication and as you can imagine the outcomes were undesirable. I was so distressed by all that has happened over the past few months that I felt hopelessness like never before, which really scared me. I've decided to really focus on getting better and plan to get in contact with an addiction therapist and get to the root of my anxieties which seem to cripple me (more harshly after a binge, naturally!). I never want to feel that sense of hopelessness, despair and regret / shame EVER AGAIN!

I'm now on Day 4 of my new journey of sobriety and I am going to do everything in my power to stay clean and sober for good! Obviously, one day at a time. I know I have the strength in there somewhere so need all the help I can get to beat this bastard of a disease!!!

Wishing everyone a great day (the wind is howling fiercely outside but I'm tucked up in the safety of my bed with the electric blanket on) (",)

doublegreen

Day 102 For me. Hit the 100 day mark on Monday last. Time to PLAN the next 100 before any sense of complacency sets in

Kunkka

enoughalready wrote: »

I'm back! Hope everyone is well. I fell off the wagon in May after 18 months sober. Then tried to get back on track soon after but needed major surgery and ended up being prescribed morphine based pain killers, which were very dangerously addictive. I thankfully knew my own addictive behaviour and have managed to come off them without too much turmoil.

Any way last week I attended a friend's wedding and ended up drinking on top of my medication and as you can imagine the outcomes were undesirable. I was so distressed by all that has happened over the past few months that I felt hopelessness like never before, which really scared me. I've decided to really focus on getting better and plan to get in contact with an addiction therapist and get to the root of my anxieties which seem to cripple me (more harshly after a binge, naturally!). I never want to feel that sense of hopelessness, despair and regret / shame EVER AGAIN!

I'm now on Day 4 of my new journey of sobriety and I am going to do everything in my power to stay clean and sober for good! Obviously, one day at a time. I know I have the strength in there somewhere so need all the help I can get to beat this bastard of a disease!!!

Wishing everyone a great day (the wind is howling fiercely outside but I'm tucked up in the safety of my bed with the electric blanket on) (",)

Good luck and thanks for your honesty. Other people in similar circumstances will take strength from your determination. It sounds like you know what you need to do now. Any of these issues we have are already improved by talking to others, be it here, an AA room or with a therapist. You're on the way now but just expect a lot of stuff to come up as when the penny drops about these things it can be overwhelming. It could be something you never even grasped before. On wards & upwards!

JupiterKid

I had a bad relapse a few weeks ago and very nearly lost a good friend over it. In fact, I stand to lose everything - including my life - if I continue to allow my addiction to alcohol consume me.

Anywho, I'm sober now and despite having a bug, I'm feeling better than before. I've got to stay focused and busy and get to as many AA meetings as possible.

Stay sober and happy and healthy people!

leinsterdude

I read these posts, and sit on the fence, as to wether I have a problem, so I am not being rude or trying to be funny, but when you guys say I went off the rails, did this and that, how bad is it, I would love to know what you actually do when drunk, when I was very young I would be legless on a Saturday night, but so were all my mates, do you guys go much further, what can be so bad.....now I drink, watch tv, and chill, never hammered, but a wee bit drunk, then food then bed, I just feel it is a bit too often for me.

petes

leinsterdude wrote: »

I read these posts, and sit on the fence, as to wether I have a problem, so I am not being rude or trying to be funny, but when you guys say I went off the rails, did this and that, how bad is it, I would love to know what you actually do when drunk, when I was very young I would be legless on a Saturday night, but so were all my mates, do you guys go much further, what can be so bad.....now I drink, watch tv, and chill, never hammered, but a wee bit drunk, then food then bed, I just feel it is a bit too often for me.

I'm not going to tell how bad it got for me only that I was drinking far too much. I did some pretty fcuked up things at the end of my drinking which isn't me at all. Jekyll and Hyde..a lot of alcoholics I'd say can identify with that but also other people can too. You don't have to hit rock bottom to be an alcoholic either.

When you have/need a drink when the off licence opens at 10:30 in the morning and you are waiting on it, it's a serious problem.

I can't tell you if you have a problem or not, only you can.

Day 50 for me

petes

JupiterKid wrote: »

I had a bad relapse a few weeks ago and very nearly lost a good friend over it. In fact, I stand to lose everything - including my life - if I continue to allow my addiction to alcohol consume me.

Anywho, I'm sober now and despite having a bug, I'm feeling better than before. I've got to stay focused and busy and get to as many AA meetings as possible.

Stay sober and happy and healthy people!

Best of luck JK. Do you do anything else other than the AA meetings? Counselling or anything?

the evasion_kid

JupiterKid wrote: »

I had a bad relapse a few weeks ago and very nearly lost a good friend over it. In fact, I stand to lose everything - including my life - if I continue to allow my addiction to alcohol consume me.

Anywho, I'm sober now and despite having a bug, I'm feeling better than before. I've got to stay focused and busy and get to as many AA meetings as possible.

Stay sober and happy and healthy people!

Are you still on the selincro?

Bonniedog

leinsterdude wrote: »

I read these posts, and sit on the fence, as to wether I have a problem, so I am not being rude or trying to be funny, but when you guys say I went off the rails, did this and that, how bad is it, I would love to know what you actually do when drunk, when I was very young I would be legless on a Saturday night, but so were all my mates, do you guys go much further, what can be so bad.....now I drink, watch tv, and chill, never hammered, but a wee bit drunk, then food then bed, I just feel it is a bit too often for me.

Only 5th day off after a nine month period of drinking 750ml of vodka, plus pints if out, every day. That followed me having been off for six months before that. Couldn't face going 'cold turkey' again so got ten day course of Xanax from doctor. Have had nothing like the horrors of the last time and am optimistic about seeing it out this time.

To answer your question, what does going 'off the rails' mean. Despite my intake I was rarely if ever visibly 'drunk'. I used drink before work and only once was it remarked on as I had been up all night after All Ireland final, so was given a bye-ball. However, it made me realize that I was on short cut to all sorts of trouble. Took me another two months to decide to stop all the same!

Mostly though I was worried that to all intents and purposes I was drinking almost all day every day, just enough to keep me ticking over, but never visibly 'the worse for wear.' It is just not a sustainable lifestyle. I could handle it when I was fit but I've already had early warnings of physical implications.

So, to answer your question - although I am perhaps not doing it very well - you can be 'off the rails' and still be the person you could set your watch by going to and coming from work or walking his dog.

One other reason I stopped was shame of realizing that I was hiding bottles of vodka so that my daughter would not know I was drinking. Of course she did. Haven't had courage to face that bridge yet, but I will once I am more settled into not drinking.

And yes, the effects of recovery are amazingly quick. That, along with the initial withdrawals, I do remember from the first time I stopped, and that will keep me going I hope.

leinsterdude

great reply, very honest, and fair point on looking normal.

JupiterKid

the evasion_kid wrote: »

Are you still on the selincro?

Yep, still on the Selincro but I only take it when I feel a craving for drink. Seeing an addiction counsellor as well as going to AA meetings

the evasion_kid

JupiterKid wrote: »

Yep, still on the Selincro but I only take it when I feel a craving for drink. Seeing an addiction counsellor as well as going to AA meetings

http://www.the-alcoholism-guide.org/sinclair-method.html

If I ever have to do it again,this is probably the road I'd be taking

Bonniedog

Ninth full day. Haven't had any cravings or withdrawals. Xanax probably greatly to thank for that but down to just one at night time last few days and just one left. Fairly confident I can last this time. Christmas period might seem an odd time to be giving up but work is more of a pressure on me and survived over a week off last Christmas without giving drink a thought.

Have been paying more attention to myself this time and realizing that a lot of the 'reasons' I was providing myself with for drinking - work, having a few to avoid rush hour traffic, and so on were just excuses and that pressure is more easily handled without the crutch of vodka. Also nice to wake up in morning without having to have a few to steady myself for the day.

Previous relapses were demoralizing but I think I have learned from them and know the potential pitfalls that can be avoided so onwards and upwards.

enoughalready

I'm on day 20 and I have had my first session with a psychotherapist. I was upfront and honest about the two major issues in my life; anxiety and alcohol. They are the two demons I want to tackle and win! I am re-reading a few books a present that help; (1) AA Big Book - especially the stories from the section 'We Stopped in Time", (2) "Parched" - a memoir by Heather King (one woman's journey to the bottom of the bottle and back) and (3) Alan Carr's the easy way to control alcohol. I've ordered Jason Vale's book also online so will read that too when it arrives.

Would love to get back into some jogging too as I know its proven to help with one's mental health. Hope everyone else here is going strong...

magicgal

Nearly 2.5 years since drank alcohol! Don't miss it now

petes

60 days today. Not sure how I feel to be honest. Would like to say it gets easier but for me it hasn't. Probably because I have to deal with things and emotions now without turning to the bottle. Still going to AA which I find good at times but other times not so much.

Still go to a counsellor once a week which I find very helpful.

Even with all that I have to go through it's still better doing it with a clear head. Probably a tough time coming up but I'm going to try and not shut myself away from the world but I may end up just doing that.

Sunnyisland

Petes your doing great, you know yourself by now it's not easy and dealing with reality with a clear head and body can be tough. Unfortunately the **** in your life doesn't disappear when we stop drinking,the reality of it all seems huge and almost unbearable,it nearly would make want to have a drink ,but everthing takes time to work through and when your clean sober and stronger you will get through it, good luck peters :-)

re Christmas put a plan into place, walking, etc etc just get out of the enveriment your used to being in.

petes

Thanks Realies, just going to do what I am doing at the minute over Christmas which is working. But yeah it is tough, probably more so than when I stopped as have to deal with things properly. It is with a clear head though and I have plenty of reasons to not go back there