Haven't touched a drop in...

Sunnyisland

Having a good councillor is important, I had a lovely strict no no-nonsense lady, I also had one here in Portugal as its good to talk to non judgemental like minded people,Petes I sometimes go to CA meetings here, that's cocaine anonymous, I found them to be great and somewhat better than AA,Dont know where you are but there is one in Dublin every month, just my opinion :-)

petes

If I had access to drink this evening I think I would have drank it. I hate being so weak minded but life with out my ex is unbearable especially since the ****ed up things I did ruined our relationship when both parties love each other.

All the words of encouragement are great but in my head I can't see passed anything. 'This too shall pass', my hole, it's there and doesn't let up and gets worse. Only for I've a few xanax in me I'd be going insane but they don't really work that well either.

Will be moving in on my own the weekend and it's better off for everyone. My foul mood brings everyone else down and I've caused enough hurt!!

Amazingfun

petes wrote: »

If I had access to drink this evening I think I would have drank it. I hate being so weak minded but life with out my ex is unbearable especially since the ****ed up things I did ruined our relationship when both parties love each other.

All the words of encouragement are great but in my head I can't see passed anything. 'This too shall pass', my hole, it's there and doesn't let up and gets worse. Only for I've a few xanax in me I'd be going insane but they don't really work that well either.

Will be moving in on my own the weekend and it's better off for everyone. My foul mood brings everyone else down and I've caused enough hurt!!

In my experience, words of "encouragement" have little to no lasting effects with real alcoholics. A severe beating from the bottle, often several beatings, is unfortunately all that works for most in forcing us to face the truth about ourselves. This was true for myself and many others I know.
Part of accepting the hard fact that alcohol and I had to part ways for life was understanding I would never, ever, beat the game. The idea that I could ever safely drink alcohol had to be smashed.

Also: don't know if you've returned to meetings, but if you have not it maybe a good time to reconsider that move. I had to force myself to go for a good while in the early days, but now I consider meetings a luxury, lol.

Anyways, good luck in your new place.

petes

Amazingfun wrote: »

In my experience, words of "encouragement" have little to no lasting effects with real alcoholics. A severe beating from the bottle, often several beatings, is unfortunately all that works for most in forcing us to face the truth about ourselves. This was true for myself and many others I know.
Part of accepting the hard fact that alcohol and I had to part ways for life was understanding I would never, ever, beat the game. The idea that I could ever safely drink alcohol had to be smashed.

Also: don't know if you've returned to meetings, but if you have not it maybe a good time to reconsider that move. I had to force myself to go for a good while in the early days, but now I consider meetings a luxury, lol.

Anyways, good luck in your new place.

Already took the beating from the bottle multiple times but still my stupid head thinks it's a great idea!!

As I said the words of encouragement are great but don't last more than a couple of seconds but it does mean that someone is there for you which can be a helpful reminder.

Had a pretty lonely Christmas so that didn't help.

Feel a bit better today but don't know what the day will bring

Sunnyisland

Petes if you go back drinking there certainly will be no chance of a relationship with all the people you have hurt, At least when people see you not drinking there is always the hope that some sort of rekindle can happen, no matter how remote that looks now,You go back drinking and the folks will say, told you so sure what did you expect.

You need to change your life for yourself first, then think about others, your the priority here, Go to a meeting petes it will help and you are not alone.

petes

realies wrote: »

Petes if you go back drinking there certainly will be no chance of a relationship with all the people you have hurt, At least when people see you not drinking there is always the hope that some sort of rekindle can happen, no matter how remote that looks now,You go back drinking and the folks will say, told you so sure what did you expect.

You need to change your life for yourself first, then think about others, your the priority here, Go to a meeting petes it will help and you are not alone.

It's kind of what keeps me going, I haven't spoken to my ex since August. We had a great relationship, the only problem was my drinking and it came to a head with my previously mentioned insane actions. I'd do anything for her.

That said I'm not drinking for me but no one would know if I was or not. I'm getting to the point where I don't care and that's not a great place to be. I actually hate myself and I don't say that lightly. I'd probably lose more if I started drinking again but as I said above I don't care. I also know that I sound like a broken record but the future is bleak. I have a scar on my left wrist that's still there from about four months ago, another mm and it was curtains. Sometimes wish it was. These aren't thoughts in my head at the minute but in the last couple of days they have been.

Still, it's another day over and I didn't drink but at the minute the not drinking is okay until them thoughts creep in. I'm probably taking more xanax than I should but the dose I'm on isn't strong enough so it's another trip to the doc, maybe ask him for some happy pills ha

the evasion_kid

petes wrote: »

It's kind of what keeps me going, I haven't spoken to my ex since August. We had a great relationship, the only problem was my drinking and it came to a head with my previously mentioned insane actions. I'd do anything for her.

That said I'm not drinking for me but no one would know if I was or not. I'm getting to the point where I don't care and that's not a great place to be. I actually hate myself and I don't say that lightly. I'd probably lose more if I started drinking again but as I said above I don't care. I also know that I sound like a broken record but the future is bleak. I have a scar on my left wrist that's still there from about four months ago, another mm and it was curtains. Sometimes wish it was. These aren't thoughts in my head at the minute but in the last couple of days they have been.

Still, it's another day over and I didn't drink but at the minute the not drinking is okay until them thoughts creep in. I'm probably taking more xanax than I should but the dose I'm on isn't strong enough so it's another trip to the doc, maybe ask him for some happy pills ha

petes i remember when i went off the drink i was very raw emotionaly for a few months,i also had anhedonia which is common in alcoholics that cease drinking,i literally couldnt find joy in anything that i did.a lot of stuff from the past surfaced even stuff from childhood that i was kinda numbing with the drink,which ive come to accept only lately.i do know one thing for sure....a drink isnt going to make it any better.

petes

Feeling more positive today. Back to work...normality and structure. Went to a meeting at 8 and glad I did. I needed it. Never thought I needed a meeting before but obviously did. It's about identifying with other people that are going or have gone through what I am going through and knowing there are others out there that will listen and help if they can.

I did as someone said to me this morning 'put myself through torture' over Christmas but I didn't drink.


It does give me a sense of accomplishment (I'm not sure that's what I mean, maybe hope is better) but if I can not drink even in the depths of despair that I was in why can't I not drink any time. Of course I know that's not how my brain works and even if I had everything back and was 'happy' I could still drink.

I need to be more positive but it's hard when I spend so much time dwelling on the negatives. I am feeling a bit better but still feel odd I suppose. Maybe a bit of what EV is talking about above!


Back to badminton tonight, Wednesday night and Thursday. I'll throw in a few meetings too

Irish_rat

How do people avoid alcohol at stags? My cousins stag is planned for April. I'm 70 days off the drink and I want to keep it going obviously. It's starting at
Fairyhouse racecourse so I presume I could go there and then take off after?

petes

Irish_rat wrote: »

How do people avoid alcohol at stags? My cousins stag is planned for April. I'm 70 days off the drink and I want to keep it going obviously. It's starting at
Fairyhouse racecourse so I presume I could go there and then take off after?

Do the people you are going with know you are off drink? I suppose you could just head to the racecourse and tip on.

I don't know if I could even attend at this stage but I'd say I could manage the first bit but the aftermath not so much.

pkvader

Irish_rat wrote: »

How do people avoid alcohol at stags? My cousins stag is planned for April. I'm 70 days off the drink and I want to keep it going obviously. It's starting at
Fairyhouse racecourse so I presume I could go there and then take off after?

A relative of mine doesn't drink,I invited him to my stag a few years back,but I contacted him and said he was under no pressure to attend.The stag was only an hour drive from where he lives,he came for a few hours for the activities and slipped away when everyone was getting full up.

lindtee

9 years sober since January 1st. I feel that 2016 is going to be a good one for me, in a job I like and in a new relationship. Onwards and upwards

Amazingfun

Irish_rat wrote: »

How do people avoid alcohol at stags? My cousins stag is planned for April. I'm 70 days off the drink and I want to keep it going obviously. It's starting at
Fairyhouse racecourse so I presume I could go there and then take off after?

70 days, good stuff Is there a meeting anywhere close to the event? I know many of us like to hit a meeting before/after/during an occasion like this, I have been at meetings where someone will appear in a Tux or the like--they popped out in the middle of whatever event they were at, grabbed some moments of sanity and then went back with no one any wiser as to where they were for an hour.
Also, know you are free to leave anytime you like, that is one of the many gifts of sobriety, having the ability to think "I've had enough"-, say your goodbyes and walk with dignity out the door.

Irish_rat

petes wrote: »

Do the people you are going with know you are off drink? I suppose you could just head to the racecourse and tip on.

Nope. I think I'll have to let my cousin know now that I wont be drinking and his best man.

I don't know if I could even attend at this stage but I'd say I could manage the first bit but the aftermath not so much.

Definitely, the race meeting would be okay but the rest of the night is guaranteed to be torture. :pac:

Irish_rat

petes wrote: »

Do the people you are going with know you are off drink? I suppose you could just head to the racecourse and tip on.

I don't know if I could even attend at this stage but I'd say I could manage the first bit but the aftermath not so much.

Amazingfun wrote: »

70 days, good stuff Is there a meeting anywhere close to the event? I know many of us like to hit a meeting before/after/during an occasion like this, I have been at meetings where someone will appear in a Tux or the like--they popped out in the middle of whatever event they were at, grabbed some moments of sanity and then went back with no one any wiser as to where they were for an hour.
Also, know you are free to leave anytime you like, that is one of the many gifts of sobriety, having the ability to think "I've had enough"-, say your goodbyes and walk with dignity out the door.

Thanks! :-) I'm not aware of any meetings before/after so far. He did mention that his best man will be forwarding on a few details to me in the coming weeks. I'll just let him know that I won't be drinking!

It's really amazing about leaving early, something I'm only getting used to!

Amazingfun

Irish_rat wrote: »

Thanks! :-) I'm not aware of any meetings before/after so far. He did mention that his best man will be forwarding on a few details to me in the coming weeks. I'll just let him know that I won't be drinking!

It's really amazing about leaving early, something I'm only getting used to!

Great stuff, and in case you don't have the meetings link, here it is:

http://www.alcoholicsanonymous.ie/Information-on-AA/Find-a-Meeting

Also, I post this link all the time but I can't overstate it's usefulness. In my early sobriety I was still working in a pub and sometimes on my breaks I would listen to a bit of a speaker, gave me that bit of connection to keep a smile on when the madness broke out

https://www.youtube.com/user/OdomtologyBooks

Charles Daarrwin

Back on track.....
Put the work in the past few weeks and really feeling the better for it

Wishing you all well

ASoberThought

7 weeks today.

I'm starting to feel much better and based on previous quitting attempts, it is easy to forget why one has quit after some time. My plan is to use my online support forums to help me keep complacency at bay. I've also got some rules that I live by now which will mitigate the risk of me being in situations that lead to temptation.

Feeling positive :cool:

Chris_Bradley

ASoberThought wrote: »

7 weeks today.

I'm starting to feel much better and based on previous quitting attempts, it is easy to forget why one has quit after some time. My plan is to use my online support forums to help me keep complacency at bay. I've also got some rules that I live by now which will mitigate the risk of me being in situations that lead to temptation.

Feeling positive :cool:

Fair play to you.

I'm off it since the turn of the year, nothing compared to you I know but last night I slept sound for the first time since coming off it.

Energy levels are high and pains in my body are disappearing. Hope I can keep going.

ASoberThought

Chris_Bradley wrote: »

Fair play to you.

I'm off it since the turn of the year, nothing compared to you I know but last night I slept sound for the first time since coming off it.

Energy levels are high and pains in my body are disappearing. Hope I can keep going.

Cheers man.

Good luck to you too. Take it one day at a time and they don't be long adding up!

Chris_Bradley

ASoberThought wrote: »

Cheers man.

Good luck to you too. Take it one day at a time and they don't be long adding up!

I hear ya bud - the lift of the haze this morning brought a glow to me I haven't felt in years. Parching all the time though - weird

marienbad

Chris_Bradley wrote: »

I hear ya bud - the lift of the haze this morning brought a glow to me I haven't felt in years. Parching all the time though - weird

That is probably just thirst - drink plenty of water .

A tip given to me in the early days was to never get hungry thirsty or tired and I found it really helped .

Drinking lots of water is good for you anyway .

petes

So 100 days in about an hour or so (the time I set up the app). Rough enough day today, finding the last hour or two at work every day hard, don't know why. Anxiety kicks in fairly badly and it's usually when I'd drink. Still on xanax but had none left, have to collect prescription in the morning!

Feel okay ish now, will be at a meeting in the morning. Just wish it didn't take me until I lost everything before I got help.

It's hard being one of them people on the telly just something iIthought while watching a program earlier!

enoughalready

petes wrote: »

So 100 days in about an hour or so (the time I set up the app). Rough enough day today, finding the last hour or two at work every day hard, don't know why. Anxiety kicks in fairly badly and it's usually when I'd drink. Still on xanax but had none left, have to collect prescription in the morning!

Feel okay ish now, will be at a meeting in the morning. Just wish it didn't take me until I lost everything before I got help.

It's hard being one of them people on the telly just something iIthought while watching a program earlier!

Hopefully you can re-build though petes, saying you've lost everything makes it sound as you can never get it back but I'm sure you can - give yourself a break and some credit, you're doing a great job and in time those burnt bridges may be able to be mended

Chris_Bradley

Lemon & Lime with water is going through my body big style. Liver thinks it's won the lotto lmao.

Confucius say

This is my new alcohol for the time being

picturehangup

@ Confucius say

A week off the sauce! Wine (white) is my big downfall, liver enzymes off the rails, have some liver inflammation, and determined to right the situation.

Just wondering how well it works? I have been having difficulty drifting off to sleep lately.
Have never seen it before, and where did you buy it?

Thanks!

Confucius say

picturehangup wrote: »

@ Confucius say

A week off the sauce! Wine (white) is my big downfall, liver enzymes off the rails, have some liver inflammation, and determined to right the situation.

Just wondering how well it works? I have been having difficulty drifting off to sleep lately.
Have never seen it before, and where did you buy it?

Thanks!

You can get it in tesco. I doubt it does anything it just has herbal crap in it like lavender and camomile etc. Im just sleeping well now as I'm off the sauce whereas when I'm coming off the back end of a booze/drugs bender horse tranquillisers wouldn't put me to sleep. If anything it at least has a placebo effect for me. Tastes pretty rank but I'm developing a taste!

Sunnyisland

Today I am seven years clean of drinking alcohol. When I stopped I wouldn't think anyone around me believed it, and why should they as I had made that promise so many times before when I was feeling the guilt trips over my actions, but It got to the point that it had taken over my life and I had lost everything and everyone that I loved. So this date seven years ago I accepted I couldn't drink like normal social drinkers, I accepted that I could not control my drinking, that once I start I had a book full of excuses to continue, But this time I knew it myself it was different, I did it it for me and since I have stopped my life has become richer in every possible way.

Kunkka

Well done Realies. You're a pillar of support and hope on this forum. Well done on your journey, you must be so proud of yourself. Treat yourself to a nice meal tonight followed by lots and lots of ice cream

I could totally relate to your friends not believing you were serious this time. I had that too and also knew it was different this time round.