Haven't touched a drop in...

The Bishop Basher

Irish_rat wrote: »

Definitely, the race meeting would be okay but the rest of the night is guaranteed to be torture. :pac:

Firstly, congratulations on 70+ days

Probably one of the biggest lessons i've learned in the last 10 months is not to try and please other people when it comes to going out..

Once the madness and mayhem starts, no one gives a flying fiddlers who's there or not there anyway.

You could approach this stag as an opportunity. Try not to be apologetic for staying sober and definitely don't feel bad about leaving when it all gets too much.

These are all your choices so own them and be proud of them. You don't ever have to justify your personal choices to anybody else.

Good luck and enjoy

Chris_Bradley

realies wrote: »

Today I am seven years clean of drinking alcohol. When I stopped I wouldn't think anyone around me believed it, and why should they as I had made that promise so many times before when I was feeling the guilt trips over my actions, but It got to the point that it had taken over my life and I had lost everything and everyone that I loved. So this date seven years ago I accepted I couldn't drink like normal social drinkers, I accepted that I could not control my drinking, that once I start I had a book full of excuses to continue, But this time I knew it myself it was different, I did it it for me and since I have stopped my life has become richer in every possible way.

You deserve to be very proud of yourself. Well done.

petes

Great job, realies

Bonniedog

ASoberThought wrote: »

7 weeks today.

I'm starting to feel much better and based on previous quitting attempts, it is easy to forget why one has quit after some time. My plan is to use my online support forums to help me keep complacency at bay. I've also got some rules that I live by now which will mitigate the risk of me being in situations that lead to temptation.

Feeling positive :cool:

Almost on same timetable as you! Seven weeks at 2am Thursday morning. Had last vodka watching a basketball match on ESPN, poured the rest of the bottle down the sink, and went to bed with the comfort blanket of having a prescription for ten days of Xanax to avoid the hell of the last time I had given up and then faltered.

Chris Bradley in another post mentioned feeling the joy when the morning haze lifted. I can honestly say that I have never felt so happy and optimistic for years on some days since I stopped, and for no particular reason other than no longer being enslaved to my habit.

I have to say too that reading comments on this forum have been great help. I don't to meetings as I don't like meetings for any reason - club, work, or whatever, but if it works for you, use it.

Best of luck to all for 2016.

Carpe Diem!

petes

There are a great number of posts on this thread that are a great help. Realies, well done, some of your posts made a lot of sense even though sometimes I may not have wanted to hear it, same goes for a few other posters but in the end I know it's all to help people here.


Still up and down like a yo yo but I expect to be like that for a long time. Drink really has lost it's appeal to me conscious and logical mind but that doesn't stop me thinking about it every so often. I have my reminders of why not to drink and one of them is my very first thought in the morning.


Just want to say fair play to all who are doing well and are struggling.

marienbad

realies wrote: »

Today I am seven years clean of drinking alcohol. When I stopped I wouldn't think anyone around me believed it, and why should they as I had made that promise so many times before when I was feeling the guilt trips over my actions, but It got to the point that it had taken over my life and I had lost everything and everyone that I loved. So this date seven years ago I accepted I couldn't drink like normal social drinkers, I accepted that I could not control my drinking, that once I start I had a book full of excuses to continue, But this time I knew it myself it was different, I did it it for me and since I have stopped my life has become richer in every possible way.

Seven years !! Just an outstanding achievement realies , we all salute you !
Long may it continue

Irish_rat

A question on food:

If you go to a restaurant do you try to avoid dishes that may have alcohol added? Also chocolates with liquor?

Or is that just a bit too much?

Irish_rat

Swanner wrote: »

Firstly, congratulations on 70+ days

Probably one of the biggest lessons i've learned in the last 10 months is not to try and please other people when it comes to going out..

Once the madness and mayhem starts, no one gives a flying fiddlers who's there or not there anyway.

You could approach this stag as an opportunity. Try not to be apologetic for staying sober and definitely don't feel bad about leaving when it all gets too much.

These are all your choices so own them and be proud of them. You don't ever have to justify your personal choices to anybody else.

Good luck and enjoy

Thank you :-)

I can't wait to reach 100! I have a great idea to combat the stag problem, my father and uncle may be going also so the plan can be go to the meeting for the day and then maybe hang around for a little while and head home

marienbad

Irish_rat wrote: »

A question on food:

If you go to a restaurant do you try to avoid dishes that may have alcohol added? Also chocolates with liquor?

Or is that just a bit too much?

Personally I always do , even though people say the alcohol is burned off during the cooking process . Those chocolates are just a no no for me . I even gave up Cidona as it was too close a smell to cider .

My guideline is quite a simple one - why take the risk for such a minor thing when the consequences could be catastrophic .

Started like that many years ago and I am not changing now .

yourpics

Irish_rat wrote: »

Thank you :-)

I can't wait to reach 100! I have a great idea to combat the stag problem, my father and uncle may be going also so the plan can be go to the meeting for the day and then maybe hang around for a little while and head home

I have gone to many a stag myself and been the last man home, pints of blackcurrant and the odd lucozade all night! Don't feel like you have to avoid situations or leave early, I know I did that for too long!

Dry now since May 2014, before that it was January 2013 and before that June 2008!

Abcxyz12345

468 days - one day at a time. Last month someone very close to me died. And I havent had to drink alcohol. More than that, my recovery from a life where I was drinking alcohol introduced many kind people to my life and they were there - and still are.

marienbad

Abcxyz12345 wrote: »

468 days - one day at a time. Last month someone very close to me died. And I havent had to drink alcohol. More than that, my recovery from a life where I was drinking alcohol introduced many kind people to my life and they were there - and still are.

Outstanding Abc - delighted for you .

petes

Today was the one day at a time that I couldn't do. I drank, after four months sober. I wasn't doing the things I should be and got complacent. I don't know how I feel if I'm honest. My head took me in to the off licence and all the time it was telling me that this isn't right. It's so hard on a daily basis. I need to get back in to a lot more meetings than I was going to. I got cocky but a few things tipped me over the edge and I couldn't deal with it. Ultimately though it is me that chose to drink, not circumstances. I have a lot of learning to do and hope this is a valuable lesson.

marienbad

petes wrote: »

Today was the one day at a time that I couldn't do. I drank, after four months sober. I wasn't doing the things I should be and got complacent. I don't know how I feel if I'm honest. My head took me in to the off licence and all the time it was telling me that this isn't right. It's so hard on a daily basis. I need to get back in to a lot more meetings than I was going to. I got cocky but a few things tipped me over the edge and I couldn't deal with it. Ultimately though it is me that chose to drink, not circumstances. I have a lot of learning to do and hope this is a valuable lesson.

Learn from it, That 4 months sobriety is not lost, just get on with your recovery immediately and it will serve a future warning of how easily we can slip. Best of luck

petes

marienbad wrote: »

Learn from it, That 4 months sobriety is not lost, just get on with your recovery immediately and it will serve a future warning of how easily we can slip. Best of luck

Thanks! It won't be lost but I'm a bit cut up at how easily it can happen, as you said. I know I'm an intelligent person and so is everyone that has an addiction, how we bow to it is unfathomable! I know it was a choice to drink today but it wasn't a choice to be like this

marienbad

petes wrote: »

Thanks! It won't be lost but I'm a bit cut up at how easily it can happen, as you said. I know I'm an intelligent person and so is everyone that has an addiction, how we bow to it is unfathomable! I know it was a choice to drink today but it wasn't a choice to be like this

If brains alone were enough none of us would be drunks But your thinking today , right now seems to be right. So no self pity , learn and move on with your journey

Amazingfun

petes wrote: »

I know I'm an intelligent person

I often joke around with the gals I sponsor that " yeah, I am so intelligent, I almost drank myself to death"

As it says in Bill's Story (from the Big Book): "Simple, but not easy"

I hope you grab on to more than just the meetings this time, for meetings, while helpful, are not the program of recovery.
This is life and death stuff Petes, I too returned to the insane act of the first drink a good few times before my mind opened enough to listen to those in whom the problem had been solved. Another beating from the bottle is sometimes (unfortunately) exactly what is needed for that to happen.

Welcome back

hubba

petes wrote: »

Today was the one day at a time that I couldn't do. I drank, after four months sober. I wasn't doing the things I should be and got complacent. I don't know how I feel if I'm honest. My head took me in to the off licence and all the time it was telling me that this isn't right. It's so hard on a daily basis. I need to get back in to a lot more meetings than I was going to. I got cocky but a few things tipped me over the edge and I couldn't deal with it. Ultimately though it is me that chose to drink, not circumstances. I have a lot of learning to do and hope this is a valuable lesson.

Hi Petes,
My heart goes out to you but please don't spend too much time beating yourself up about it. One thing which really helped me was the shift in perspective that came about by reading Jason Vale's Kick the Drink Easily. A bit of a gimicky title but a great book. It's based on the premise that we are being hoodwinked by the drinks industry and each other basically, that we NEED alcohol to have a good time. It's worth a try and if it doesn't do anything for you then nothing lost. Welcome back and best wishes in your journey.

enoughalready

petes wrote: »

Today was the one day at a time that I couldn't do. I drank, after four months sober. I wasn't doing the things I should be and got complacent. I don't know how I feel if I'm honest. My head took me in to the off licence and all the time it was telling me that this isn't right. It's so hard on a daily basis. I need to get back in to a lot more meetings than I was going to. I got cocky but a few things tipped me over the edge and I couldn't deal with it. Ultimately though it is me that chose to drink, not circumstances. I have a lot of learning to do and hope this is a valuable lesson.

Petes - I got complacent myself in May last year, had 18 months of sobriety behind me and thought to myself I can drink sensibly now, turns out I still couldn't and now I'm 3 months back into my sober journey. I'm actually glad I drank again as it helped me realise that I was being too complacent and needed that slip to confirm that alcohol has no place in my life. Simply, I'm a much better man without it. Everything happens for a reason, maybe this slip will make you stronger than ever before and help you in ways you didn't think of before, hope you're not being too hard on yourself. Chin up! We're proud of you...

JackieBauer

I think this thread is amazing, intelligent people, who have made mistakes (like myself) Your a really lovely bunch, I'm not blowing smoke up your arses, I mean it!

petes

I'm still drinking but I know what I dneed to do and I know what keeps me sober. Thanks for all the kind words. I think that I needed this to move on.

Bonniedog

You need to stop again before it becomes like it was before.

I was off it, and thought that one night - like enoughalready - I would just let the hair down after six months. Took another 8 months before I stopped again.

Just put these few days behind you and start afresh. It is not even like stopping for the first time, because the time you've been off will stand to you physically and mentally.

And don't beat yourself up for having gone back on it. Almost everyone does at some stage or another. It is the nature of the beast.

Irish_rat

100 days off alcohol. Hopefully it's only the start

tinpib

Hi Petes.

I found your story very inspiring, your honesty on where your drinking brought you to and also how you managed to stay sober for so long, 100 plus days. I hope you are not too hard on yourself now and are back to taking one day at a time.

There are other people off booze longer than me, but I will chip in with my own thoughts.

The first time I gave up 'permanently' I did think a lot about not drinking. I was thankful for not drinking, and counted up the days a lot, rationalised how better it was not to be drinking, how much money I was saving etc but I was still thinking a lot about drink or to be exact the lack of it. I lasted 4.5 months

The second time I gave up was for around 4.5 months again last year from mid-Feb to end of June.

This is now my 3rd time off it, I won't say permanently but I don;t have plans to drink again. No set date in mind or anything. I'm off it since December 30th.

I think the experience of those two 4.5 months periods of has helped hugely. Experience like in a job, or professional football or anything is massively important for making you do things better, more efficiently, smoother, more rewarding, easier the next time.

This time, once my sleep settled down after 10/12 days which was a bit scary really, I have thought about drink or the lack of drink a lot less.

My mind has gotten used to being sober, rested. It is becoming more normal. I'm not focusing on the lack of drink. I;m focusing more on the great sleep and the time spent being productive and just my day to day living and what I need/want to do next.

I'm not mourning the lack of drink.

I didn't feel like this the other times.

When people said 'it gets easier' I didn't believe them, because I was absolutely miserable for the last 4 weeks of those 2 4.5 month stints. Now I can see it. But I needed to fail, to drink, to get sober again and to do the sobriety part better learning from what I had tried the previous times and improving on it.

In my case I'm focused[goddamn near obsessed] on a starting a wee side project/business. My obsession for drinking and hangovers and all that entails has moved to this.

So try again. You will be better at being sober this time. You may be sober forever, you may be sober for a shorter time but I think you will be better at being sober than you were the first time as you have that 100 plus days experience.

And if you drink again I'm certain the sober time after that will be easier, better, more productive.

I guess we all have to figure out what's best for us.

At least that's what I feel now, although I'm still learning.

enoughalready

tinpib wrote: »

Hi Petes.

I found your story very inspiring, your honesty on where your drinking brought you to and also how you managed to stay sober for so long, 100 plus days. I hope you are not too hard on yourself now and are back to taking one day at a time.

There are other people off booze longer than me, but I will chip in with my own thoughts.

The first time I gave up 'permanently' I did think a lot about not drinking. I was thankful for not drinking, and counted up the days a lot, rationalised how better it was not to be drinking, how much money I was saving etc but I was still thinking a lot about drink or to be exact the lack of it. I lasted 4.5 months

The second time I gave up was for around 4.5 months again last year from mid-Feb to end of June.

This is now my 3rd time off it, I won't say permanently but I don;t have plans to drink again. No set date in mind or anything. I'm off it since December 30th.

I think the experience of those two 4.5 months periods of has helped hugely. Experience like in a job, or professional football or anything is massively important for making you do things better, more efficiently, smoother, more rewarding, easier the next time.

This time, once my sleep settled down after 10/12 days which was a bit scary really, I have thought about drink or the lack of drink a lot less.

My mind has gotten used to being sober, rested. It is becoming more normal. I'm not focusing on the lack of drink. I;m focusing more on the great sleep and the time spent being productive and just my day to day living and what I need/want to do next.

I'm not mourning the lack of drink.

I didn't feel like this the other times.

When people said 'it gets easier' I didn't believe them, because I was absolutely miserable for the last 4 weeks of those 2 4.5 month stints. Now I can see it. But I needed to fail, to drink, to get sober again and to do the sobriety part better learning from what I had tried the previous times and improving on it.

In my case I'm focused[goddamn near obsessed] on a starting a wee side project/business. My obsession for drinking and hangovers and all that entails has moved to this.

So try again. You will be better at being sober this time. You may be sober forever, you may be sober for a shorter time but I think you will be better at being sober than you were the first time as you have that 100 plus days experience.

And if you drink again I'm certain the sober time after that will be easier, better, more productive.

I guess we all have to figure out what's best for us.

At least that's what I feel now, although I'm still learning.

Very well said tinpib - I concur, sometimes these slips are the making of us and helps us progress into the future. I needed my slip to happen to fully understand the severity of the situation. Best of luck moving forward

Sunnyisland

Try and live one day at a time, make each day one of preparation for better things ahead.
Dont dwell on the past or the future,only on the present,bury all fear of the future,

all thoughts of unkindness & bitterness,all your dislikes,your resentments,your sense of failure,

Your disappointment in others and in yourself,your gloom & despondency, leave all these things behind and go forward into a new life, The golden opportunity you are seeking is in yourself,

it is not in your environment,it is not in luck or change or the help of others, it is in yourself alone.

enoughalready

90 days today, 3 months alcohol free, so much good can come from staying on the sober path, went for an interview and got a new job with a big pay rise. Happy days, my relationships with friends and family have developed greatly and most importantly I feel WONDERFUL!! Hope complacency never sets in again, my last slip (lasted 6 months) REALLY opened my eyes

Amazingfun

14 Years for me (as of Feb 7th), and I am more grateful for AA now than I was in the beginning of this incredible journey!

Life as a recovered alcoholic isn't perfect, or even easy at times, but it's very simple-(and it sure beats the alternative, lol)


For anyone struggling, AA is as its always been- for fun and for free:
http://www.alcoholicsanonymous.ie/Information-on-AA/Find-a-Meeting

marienbad

Amazingfun wrote: »

14 Years for me (as of Feb 7th), and I am more grateful for AA now than I was in the beginning of this incredible journey!

Life as a recovered alcoholic isn't perfect, or even easy at times, but it's very simple-(and it sure beats the alternative, lol)


For anyone struggling, AA is as its always been- for fun and for free:
http://www.alcoholicsanonymous.ie/Information-on-AA/Find-a-Meeting

Outstanding Amazingfun , always such a pleasure reading your posts and I am in total agreement on AA . Maybe not for everyone but it was and is for me , gave me back my life .

Bonniedog

Had very strange night on Friday. I woke up after a very vivid dream convinced that I had to have a drink. Dream seemed to have been very realistic, nothing dramatic, but I was drinking in it, and seemed to have decided that it was the best thing to do.

Feeling lasted about 5 minutes after I woke up until I was fully back into the real world. Funny thing is that I haven't actually had any real desire to drink since November, even in the days immediately after stopping, but it was like the dream was arguing with me logically that there was no point in stopping because nothing was any different.

Am no psychologist but dream was perhaps subconscious reacting to events during the week that up to a few months ago would have had me up drinking at 7am. Also a reminder of how easy it is to just slip back into it on the basis of some spurious excuse or other, as I did the last time.