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    #2162
    The flying mouse
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,915 ✭✭✭The flying mouse


    getzls wrote: »
    Don't feel too bad anyone if you 'fall'
    Just look at the way you were at your worst and think no I don't want to go back to that.

    Yep so true getzls

    Nearly everyone falls and for me many times.

    Now I get up in the morning and think it's good to be alive.
    Sometimes people who have had a slip are ashamed of themselves-sometimes so ashamed that they fear to Try again.

    They develop the old inferiority complex and tell themselves that they are no good,that they have let down there friends here and elsewhere,that they are hopeless & that they can never make it,This state of mind is perhaps worse than it was originally intended.

    They have been somewhat weakened by there slip,but there experience of logging on here or going back to whatever help they used is not entirely lost.

    They always know that they can stop again if they really want to,they know that there is still great help & advice here if they will ask for it because nobody entirely escapes temptation.

    You must expect it and be ready for it when it comes,You must try & keep your defences up by positive thoughts,the first step toward conquering temptation always is to see it in your mind,dissociate yourself from it.

    Put it out of your mind as soon as it appears,do not think of excuses for yielding to it,come Here or use your other tools to get through it and get through it you will :-) don't quit quitting.


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    #2163
    Lady is a tramp
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,208 ✭✭✭Lady is a tramp


    Anyone use any of the apps available to track their sobriety? I've just downloaded one called SoberTool ... I find it good, it tells me every day how long I've been sober and how much money I've saved so far, also lots and lots of motivational quotes and advice! It's very much 12-steps based, I'm not into that, still done it good though!


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    #2164
    The flying mouse
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,915 ✭✭✭The flying mouse


    I never used the apps, but I did count my days and weeks right up to the first year at the start of my sobriety.As I have said before whatever tool is helping you in your goal use it. :-)


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    #2165
    GerB40
    Registered Users Posts: 2,047 ✭✭✭GerB40


    I just did the sums and in 39 days I'll be 2 years sober. I'm fùckin astonished, my quality of life has improved beyond what I had expected and I've learned how to be somewhat social while still not drinking. (The trick is to leave the pub as soon as they start talking shíte)..
    But earlier today my grandmother died. Usually I'd be climbing up the walls with anxiety thinking about the funeral but I'm surprisingly calm about the whole thing. One thing though, this is my first family death as a non drinker. My trick won't work because I'll be in a house with family and friends and I can't just get up and leave. On one hand I'm looking at this as an opportunity to face a new challenge. On the other hand, I'm kinda dreading it. This will be my first proper test in a long time and it's a pretty intense one.
    So, good folks,any advice on how to deal with funerals as a recovering alcoholic would be greatly appreciated.


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    #2166
    The flying mouse
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,915 ✭✭✭The flying mouse


    Congratulations on your nearly two years Ger, that's a fantastic achievement and sorry to here about your grandmother, (bit of a mixed sentence I know) ,At the funeral I betcha you will find lots of people not drinking,what I always do is pick out who is not drinking and move closer to them,usually there in the same boat and are glad of the company,then just do your original plan of action, get out when the drink talk becomes to much or stay as long as you can and use the situation to reinforce of the now I know why I shouldent drink after listning to that ....
    Either way use your instincts as if you leave it probably won't be even noticed.


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    #2167
    GerB40
    Registered Users Posts: 2,047 ✭✭✭GerB40


    The flying mouse wrote: »
    Congratulations on your nearly two years Ger, that's a fantastic achievement and sorry to here about your grandmother, (bit of a mixed sentence I know) ,At the funeral I betcha you will find lots of people not drinking,what I always do is pick out who is not drinking and move closer to them,usually there in the same boat and are glad of the company,then just do your original plan of action, get out when the drink talk becomes to much or stay as long as you can and use the situation to reinforce of the now I know why I shouldent drink after listning to that ....
    Either way use your instincts as if you leave it probably won't be even noticed.

    Cheers mouse, I suppose the anxiety I was building up was due to the fact that usually (for me anyway), a funeral would be two days of drinking with relatives followed by an indefinite amount of days drinking alone trying to deal with the grief. This is all new territory for me but I do feel more mentally prepared for reality than I ever have before. It probably won't be easy but any great leap in my recovery has been difficult but worth it..


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    #2168
    Amazingfun
    Registered Users Posts: 3,161 ✭✭✭Amazingfun


    GerB40 wrote: »
    So, good folks,any advice on how to deal with funerals as a recovering alcoholic would be greatly appreciated.

    Condolences on your grandmother's passing.

    Advice isn't worth much I find, but experience is.
    I always pray and center myself before such events, and depending upon my relationship to the deceased, cultivate a deep sense of gratitude that I can arrive in a dignified state to honor them. It also helps to try and focus on how I can be of some help or service to others there, gets me out of thinking too much about ME.

    I had a friend die of cancer a few years ago. He was someone I had had to make amends to once I got sober, and the feeling of freedom and love I had that day was priceless because I no longer had that tension and guilt between us. It's hard to put into words, but the fact I could be there, sober, be around lots of drinkers and not care a bit....was brilliant.

    Anyways, prayers your way.


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    #2169
    GerB40
    Registered Users Posts: 2,047 ✭✭✭GerB40


    Amazingfun wrote: »
    Condolences on your grandmother's passing.

    Advice isn't worth much I find, but experience is.
    I always pray and center myself before such events, and depending upon my relationship to the deceased, cultivate a deep sense of gratitude that I can arrive in a dignified state to honor them. It also helps to try and focus on how I can be of some help or service to others there, gets me out of thinking too much about ME.

    I had a friend die of cancer a few years ago. He was someone I had had to make amends to once I got sober, and the feeling of freedom and love I had that day was priceless because I no longer had that tension and guilt between us. It's hard to put into words, but the fact I could be there, sober, be around lots of drinkers and not care a bit....was brilliant.

    Anyways, prayers your way.

    I'm sorry to hear that Amazingfun, that sounds very tough. At least with my 90 year old grandmother I was somewhat mentally prepared but you really did go through it. The strength you got from your experience is very reassuring, thank you...


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    #2170
    marienbad
    Registered Users Posts: 9,463 ✭✭✭marienbad


    GerB40 wrote: »
    I'm sorry to hear that Amazingfun, that sounds very tough. At least with my 90 year old grandmother I was somewhat mentally prepared but you really did go through it. The strength you got from your experience is very reassuring, thank you...

    Ger what has been best for me in these situations is that I pay my respects and when I am ready I leave . If there is a meal or such afterwards I rejoin for a few hours .

    Everybody will understand .


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    #2171
    GerB40
    Registered Users Posts: 2,047 ✭✭✭GerB40


    marienbad wrote: »
    Ger what has been best for me in these situations is that I pay my respects and when I am ready I leave . If there is a meal or such afterwards I rejoin for a few hours .

    Everybody will understand .

    Yeah I think that's what I'll do, the last time some of my relatives saw me I was a wreck so I'm sure they'll put two and two together and one thing I have noticed is that people are very understanding. Cheers for the tips everyone, once again this thread has helped me through a potentially tough situation...


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    #2172
    Lady is a tramp
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,208 ✭✭✭Lady is a tramp


    A month today ... not my longest period of sobriety, but the first time I am very confident that this is sustainable for the rest of my life. :)

    All the problems and emotions I was using alcohol to deal with are still there and still very real, but so long as I keep alcohol out of the picture, they're all a lot more manageable.


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    #2173
    marienbad
    Registered Users Posts: 9,463 ✭✭✭marienbad


    Lady is a tramp wrote: »
    A month today ... not my longest period of sobriety, but the first time I am very confident that this is sustainable for the rest of my life. :)

    All the problems and emotions I was using alcohol to deal with are still there and still very real, but so long as I keep alcohol out of the picture, they're all a lot more manageable.

    How time flies living just a day at a time :)


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    #2174
    Laeot
    Closed Accounts Posts: 97 ✭✭Laeot


    Hi all,

    Old user returning here...

    11 days today...


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    #2175
    Irish_rat
    Registered Users Posts: 2,560 ✭✭✭Irish_rat


    The night of the stag is finally ended, do not recommend doing it if you plan to be sober!

    Saying that the boys think I have unreal will power but there's always one a-hole that likes to rain on my parade, why I ain't dancing, trying to score etc.

    I was going to leave when the ****e talk started but the aforementioned fella met me just as I was about to go and convinced me to stay. Ended up with another hour of pure boredom.

    Its done now and I can move on with my life of sobriety. Tonight was a big step forward.


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    #2176
    The Bishop Basher
    Registered Users Posts: 4,279 ✭✭✭The Bishop Basher


    1 year today :-)

    Been the toughest but by far the most rewarding thing I've ever done.

    My life now is almost totally unrecognisable from a year ago. I've lost 4 stone, I now eat healthy and exercise regularly, I have my dignity, my sanity, my pride and my confidence back. Anxiety is a distant memory and depression and the fear no longer darken my door...

    I feel incredibly grateful for everything I have. It feels a bit like I've lived in the shade for the last 40 years without realising. Then someone opened the blinds and the sunlight poured in. Man it's a beautiful place to be :-)

    Everyone in this forum has had to face their own demons, battles and challenges. Some are successful straight away and for some it takes a few tries. Others may never find that peace in this lifetime but I have nothing but the greatest of respect for each and everyone of you. It takes balls and courage to do what we do every day.

    So whatever level of "success" you've had remember the learning and the growing is all in the journey.

    Keep on keepin on :-)


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    #2177
    The flying mouse
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,915 ✭✭✭The flying mouse


    Absolutely great work swanner, You should well feel proud of yourself, enjoy the day and the freedom :-)


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    #2178
    Laeot
    Closed Accounts Posts: 97 ✭✭Laeot


    Swanner wrote: »
    1 year today :-)

    Been the toughest but by far the most rewarding thing I've ever done.

    My life now is almost totally unrecognisable from a year ago. I've lost 4 stone, I now eat healthy and exercise regularly, I have my dignity, my sanity, my pride and my confidence back. Anxiety is a distant memory and depression and the fear no longer darken my door...

    I feel incredibly grateful for everything I have. It feels a bit like I've lived in the shade for the last 40 years without realising. Then someone opened the blinds and the sunlight poured in. Man it's a beautiful place to be :-)

    Everyone in this forum has had to face their own demons, battles and challenges. Some are successful straight away and for some it takes a few tries. Others may never find that peace in this lifetime but I have nothing but the greatest of respect for each and everyone of you. It takes balls and courage to do what we do every day.

    So whatever level of "success" you've had remember the learning and the growing is all in the journey.

    Keep on keepin on :-)

    A truly wonderful and inspirational post. Well done my friend !


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    #2179
    LurcherLad
    Registered Users Posts: 6 ✭LurcherLad


    Hi all. Recently fell off the wagon after going well for a long time. Great to see all the happy endings here and hopefully I can get back to myself soon. Im currently not in a great place after a weekend of drink and coke. But onwards and upwards. Is there any good books anyone can recommend? I hear there are so very helpful ones out there.


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    #2180
    leinsterdude
    Registered Users Posts: 523 ✭✭✭leinsterdude


    Drink and coke, thats hard going to be fair, hope you get sorted.


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    #2181
    LurcherLad
    Registered Users Posts: 6 ✭LurcherLad


    Thanks Leinsterdude. It's gonna be a stressful few days but must be done.


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    #2182
    petes
    Registered Users Posts: 8,382 ✭✭✭petes


    51 days :)


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    #2183
    Laeot
    Closed Accounts Posts: 97 ✭✭Laeot


    14 days = 2 weeks ---> one day at a time ... 😀


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    #2184
    marienbad
    Registered Users Posts: 9,463 ✭✭✭marienbad


    Laeot wrote: »
    14 days = 2 weeks ---> one day at a time ... ��

    It can seem slow going at times but every so often we can look back and see just how far we have come a day at a time .

    We are all with you Laeot


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    #2185
    marienbad
    Registered Users Posts: 9,463 ✭✭✭marienbad


    petes wrote: »
    51 days :)


    Well done petes :) and soon it will be 52 , two months on the horizon . All those little milestones together make big milestones and all just for today at a time .


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    #2186
    tinpib
    Registered Users Posts: 4,495 ✭✭✭tinpib


    petes wrote: »
    51 days :)

    Well done Petes, I do think of you when I check in here. That's on top of your 100 plus days before that IIRC aswell

    All going great here with me, sober all of 2016. It does feel different this time, I'm just getting better at being sober.

    Threw myself into project which is nearing fruition and has been hugely rewarding. Going on holiday next week which was my carrot/stick to get the project completed.

    Was flip-flopping about if I will drink during this holiday all through January and a bit of February.

    But now I have no desire to drink. I'm proud of myself for working so hard this year and I don't want to jeopardise that feeling with the rollercoaster of highs/lows from drinking.

    I've actually gone onto Tinder for the first time in ages as I feel happy enough in myself to meet someone again.

    I have a few more wee projects I want to do over the next 5 months or so, so my old curse of boredom while sober is on its way to being defeated.

    I'll repeat myself here but I think it's just that I'm getting better or more used to being sober. I fell off the wagon a few times but no harm done. They were experiences that have served me well this time around.


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    #2187
    Irish_rat
    Registered Users Posts: 2,560 ✭✭✭Irish_rat


    petes wrote: »
    51 days :)

    Well done petes :) I was wondering how you were getting on. Its a great feeling isint it ? Next target 2 months ;-)


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    #2188
    Lady is a tramp
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,208 ✭✭✭Lady is a tramp


    Just wondering if many here have used Antabuse (disulfiram), if so for how long and what dosage?

    I've started taking it recently, it seems I'm one of the unlucky few who gets side effects from it ... I don't really care though, my thinking is that the physical and mental side effects of alcohol are far worse, so I can easily put up with a bit of nausea and drowsiness! I'm currently planning on staying on it long-term ... forever, if necessary.


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    #2189
    The flying mouse
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,915 ✭✭✭The flying mouse


    Lady is a tramp wrote: »
    Just wondering if many here have used Antabuse (disulfiram), if so for how long and what dosage?

    I've started taking it recently, it seems I'm one of the unlucky few who gets side effects from it ... I don't really care though, my thinking is that the physical and mental side effects of alcohol are far worse, so I can easily put up with a bit of nausea and drowsiness! I'm currently planning on staying on it long-term ... forever, if necessary.

    I have never used it myself so cant really comment on it ,just be careful lady you dont switch one addiction for another,and also maybe seek good professional medical advice on taking it long term.


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    #2190
    The flying mouse
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,915 ✭✭✭The flying mouse


    LurcherLad wrote: »
    Hi all. Recently fell off the wagon after going well for a long time. Great to see all the happy endings here and hopefully I can get back to myself soon. Im currently not in a great place after a weekend of drink and coke. But onwards and upwards. Is there any good books anyone can recommend? I hear there are so very helpful ones out there.

    This thread might help :)

    http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2057548514


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    #2191
    tinpib
    Registered Users Posts: 4,495 ✭✭✭tinpib


    The flying mouse wrote: »
    This thread might help :)

    http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2057548514

    I honestly just came here to post that :)

    It's a great resource.

    As for videos I just finished watching this:

    https://www.my5.tv/im-an-alcoholic-my-name-is

    Mind need some bit of magic on your browser to watch it.

    If you google 'alcoholism' on Youtube you get a few hits.

    There are two good but pretty harrowing ones.

    Rain in my heart, 1hr 38mins form BBc (I think)

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lwv7Utcf-gM

    and this one:

    Drugged on Alcohol by National Geogrpahic following Ryan an extreme alcoholic in his 20s

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CrTlI6seM0A

    Another couple of good ones are:

    Tony Adams one, very honest, seems a nice guy.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qZ91CP7k7X0

    Cherry Healy - old before my time
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v6vEe6eenpg


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