Haven't touched a drop in...

realdanbreen

tinpib wrote: »

If you don't wish to come across as too blunt, then the best way is not to write your valid point in such a blunt fashion.

Like most things in life it's not what you say but how you say it.

You talk about "most people on here", are you one of those people?

If you are not one of those people then I don't think you should really be giving advice, bluntly or beautifully worded, as you don't fully understand the situation.

If you are one of those people, like I am, then maybe you could talk more about your situation so that we can understand more of where your point comes from.

As a man in his mid/late 30's should I go onto a post natal depression forum and start dispensing advice there?

edit: I saw your reply to Petes, I now understand more of where you are coming from.

edit 2: I see your comment to Hunter101 recently. Again I think you could have perhaps phrased it a little less bluntly?

OK to set the record straight. I am an alcoholic.
I am in recovery and have not had a drink in along time. However I am still an alcoholic and have to be careful not to forget that. I just get the feeling that some people regard themselves as 'only heavy drinkers' and not alcoholics. In my experience I cannot recall knowing too many people who were heavy drinkers but not alcoholics. I just feel that if someone needs and I say needs as opposed to wants (believe me I never wanted to stop) drinking they have to face up to certain realities. Giving up drinking is not easy but is absolutely doable if you approach it seriously.

tinpib

realdanbreen wrote: »

OK to set the record straight. I am an alcoholic.
I am in recovery and have not had a drink in along time. However I am still an alcoholic and have to be careful not to forget that. I just get the feeling that some people regard themselves as 'only heavy drinkers' and not alcoholics. In my experience I cannot recall knowing too many people who were heavy drinkers but not alcoholics. I just feel that if someone needs and I say needs as opposed to wants (believe me I never wanted to stop) drinking they have to face up to certain realities. Giving up drinking is not easy but is absolutely doable if you approach it seriously.

Post deleted. Let's just move on!

Bonniedog

clairewithani wrote: »

I didn't think of the horrors! Yes I am feeling good today. Not yesterday or the day before though. I have the opposite problem to posters above however. I am worrying I won't be able to do it.

First few days are usually the worst. That's what I meant by the "horrors". If you get over that then you are on the way to recovery.

As for some of above. I just happened on this site a while back - think I started a thread as I didn't even realise there were people like me looking for some voice in the wilderness,

I greatly appreciate this forum as I don't go to meetings, nothing against AA, just not that sort of person, and my work means I spend a lot of time on line.

So, I check in regularly for both support and maybe give the odd word of hopefully support. No need for any of us to be engaged in pissing competition. We are all the same. We all have the same fkn monkey on our back/

petes

clairewithani wrote: »

I didn't think of the horrors! Yes I am feeling good today. Not yesterday or the day before though. I have the opposite problem to posters above however. I am worrying I won't be able to do it.

You will have these thoughts but the more time that goes by the more manageable they are.

I've said it before but make sure you are eating and drinking plenty of water. When you feel better physically it can help a lot.

Writing things down in here is also a good way to cope. I'm not going to say it's easy but it definitely does get better.

clairewithani

petes wrote: »

You will have these thoughts but the more time that goes by the more manageable they are.

I've said it before but make sure you are eating and drinking plenty of water. When you feel better physically it can help a lot.

Writing things down in here is also a good way to cope. I'm not going to say it's easy but it definitely does get better.

Well I am drinking two litres of water a day (allowing myself one cup of tea after my dinner) so that will help. I have joined slimming world so I am eating healthily. I feel very good today I must be honest. My one negative is that I am finding it difficult to fall asleep. Have been so used to having alcohol at night I find it strange to be lying in the bed waiting for sleep. Am waking up more refreshed than before though so I don't really mind.

petes

clairewithani wrote: »

Well I am drinking two litres of water a day (allowing myself one cup of tea after my dinner) so that will help. I have joined slimming world so I am eating healthily. I feel very good today I must be honest. My one negative is that I am finding it difficult to fall asleep. Have been so used to having alcohol at night I find it strange to be lying in the bed waiting for sleep. Am waking up more refreshed than before though so I don't really mind.

Trust me, the sleep will come. Your body isn't used to proper sleep. Will take a couple of weeks though.

tinpib

petes wrote: »

Trust me, the sleep will come. Your body isn't used to proper sleep. Will take a couple of weeks though.

Yep, took me 10/12 nights this time round. Then I was getting the best sleep I've gotten in years.

edit: Ironically I got a dreadful nights sleep last night, have been sleeping great recently though. I'm so tired today that I have already written off today. I'm not going to get any study done so I have made peace with myself about it. Hopefully I'll be flying it tomorrow.

Being sober has shown me how much I hate being tired.

As I think back though, how many hundreds of days did I feel like this going to work? And I just accepted it as normal after a weekend 'session'.

What a pointless, often needlessly miserable way to spend your precious waking hours. And I did it for years.

JupiterKid

So 5 days of being sober - again - now. Went to an aftercare group for those who are struggling and some of the others have really horrible life problems that it did put things into perspective for me.

Trying to get to at least a meeting a day. One day at a time!:)

clairewithani

End of day 4
Hoping for many more.

marienbad

Claire and Jupiter - hang in there , do what ever it takes .

I am a lifelong member of AA - many decades now - so it definitely worked and is working for me . In the early days for me it was meetings meetings meetings and reading everything I could get on getting sober staying sober living sober .

I'd say I was too dopey to take very much in but it kept me occupied and involved and in touch with others just like me - the realization that I was not alone and not on my own was and is manna from heaven , and all just a day at a time .

and you are not alone , if we can help we will , ask anything you like , we are all on the same journey a day at a time .

The old cliché applies - who ever got up earliest this morning is the longest sober .

One other thing - don't get hungry , thirsty , tired , best advice I was given in the early days .

Anyway I am rambling now , time for sleep .

clairewithani

marienbad wrote: »

Claire and Jupiter - hang in there , do what ever it takes .

I am a lifelong member of AA - many decades now - so it definitely worked and is working for me . In the early days for me it was meetings meetings meetings and reading everything I could get on getting sober staying sober living sober .

I'd say I was too dopey to take very much in but it kept me occupied and involved and in touch with others just like me - the realization that I was not alone and not on my own was and is manna from heaven , and all just a day at a time .

and you are not alone , if we can help we will , ask anything you like , we are all on the same journey a day at a time .

The old cliché applies - who ever got up earliest this morning is the longest sober .

One other thing - don't get hungry , thirsty , tired , best advice I was given in the early days .

Anyway I am rambling now , time for sleep .

Now that seems like excellent advice

Irish_rat

200 days! :-)

enoughalready

Whilst doing a spot of cleaning I came across some small bottles with vodka in them, I had poured them into small mouthwash bottles and added a touch of blackcurrant so they would look exactly like that purple mouthwash that Listerine do. I had four of them hidden away for an emergency.This is how my mind was working a while back. Seriously delusional, anyway, I felt empowered at that moment and poured all the contents of those bottles down the sink and down with it three sleeping tablets that I also came across.

I don't want any mind altering substances in my house or anywhere near me. Goodbye and good riddance...I'm on day 24...nearing my 30th birthday and on course to celebrating my 3rd decade fresh, sober and free....

Irish_rat

Funny that you say that enoughalready, I was at something similar today. Moving into my house in the next month or two so doing a serious gutting and cleaning out of the apartment, there was about 5 cans and 3 bottles of wine. Down the sink they went and the smell was so off-putting. One less hazard around the place ðŸ˜

ASoberThought

14 days today.

Happy to be back to NA meetings and to also work an outpatient program. The process is enjoyable at the moment.

Bonniedog

enoughalready wrote: »

Whilst doing a spot of cleaning I came across some small bottles with vodka in them, I had poured them into small mouthwash bottles and added a touch of blackcurrant so they would look exactly like that purple mouthwash that Listerine do. I had four of them hidden away for an emergency.This is how my mind was working a while back. Seriously delusional, anyway, I felt empowered at that moment and poured all the contents of those bottles down the sink and down with it three sleeping tablets that I also came across.

I don't want any mind altering substances in my house or anywhere near me. Goodbye and good riddance...I'm on day 24...nearing my 30th birthday and on course to celebrating my 3rd decade fresh, sober and free....

One of reasons I decided to give up was the shame of hiding bottles of vodka so that my daughter wouldn't know I was drinking. Had gotten to stage at the end where I had my morning kick start mixed into bottles of apple juice that I knew she didn't like, so wouldn't drink herself. Worst thing of all is that I would have been more concerned about not having my vodka in the morning than her accidentally drinking it.

Funnily enough, when I am not drinking the presence of drink doesn't bother me in the least, but best not to have it in the house.

tinpib

Have my focus back and got over my midweek insomnia. Dunno if my pizza and glass of coke was the cause but I'm taking the positive from the situation/using it as a blessing in disguise.

By blaming the pizza and coke it's the little extra motivation I need to cut out the junk food and fizzy drinks. Have been guzzling the stuff since I gave up booze. Didn't buy any junk at the supermarket this morning.

4.5 months in and the novelty of waking up fresh every day STILL hasn't worn off. It's great, love the mornings.

realdanbreen

Bonniedog wrote: »

One of reasons I decided to give up was the shame of hiding bottles of vodka so that my daughter wouldn't know I was drinking. Had gotten to stage at the end where I had my morning kick start mixed into bottles of apple juice that I knew she didn't like, so wouldn't drink herself. Worst thing of all is that I would have been more concerned about not having my vodka in the morning than her accidentally drinking it.

Funnily enough, when I am not drinking the presence of drink doesn't bother me in the least, but best not to have it in the house.

To be free of all that hiding and fretting about where the next drink was coming from is brilliant. I just met up with an old friend this evening who is also in recovery and we were talking about the freedom we now have. We were remembering all the bullsh1t we went through, she cooking the dinner for the kids at 8.30am, she knew she'd be out of it at 4pm, and me hiding bottles all over the place, sheds, garden walls, wherever. Anyway good to hear you're doing OK.

firstday

Day 2

This is my 2nd attempt to quit. I tried 18 months ago and lasted a month then went back on it heavier than before. Thanks for all your post here they been a great help to get me motivated to try again.I think i nearly read every page .

Im 28yrs old and would start drink on a Thursday/friday night and not stop until sunday night. Over the past few months iv been gettin worse and am very close to destroyin my life over wat ive done to my family nd friends wen pissed.

Went to an aa today nd found it gud to listen to the stories but i had da feelin dat they were more hardcore drinkers than me and i sudnt be der.

ASoberThought

firstday wrote: »

Day 2

This is my 2nd attempt to quit. I tried 18 months ago and lasted a month then went back on it heavier than before. Thanks for all your post here they been a great help to get me motivated to try again.I think i nearly read every page .

Im 28yrs old and would start drink on a Thursday/friday night and not stop until sunday night. Over the past few months iv been gettin worse and am very close to destroyin my life over wat ive done to my family nd friends wen pissed.

Went to an aa today nd found it gud to listen to the stories but i had da feelin dat they were more hardcore drinkers than me and i sudnt be der.

Hi FirstDay.

Well done so far!

That feeling you have about AA is extremely common. I know because I too experienced it in NA. Look for similarities instead of comparisons. You have identified this as an issue and want to stop. This is all that is required period and you deserve a good life as much as anyone else.
If you feel other people have had a more tragic experience or drank more hieavily, please do take note to understand how it progresses and you can be grateful for the opportunity to put a stop to it before going deeper.

Take care and check in

marienbad

firstday wrote: »

Day 2

This is my 2nd attempt to quit. I tried 18 months ago and lasted a month then went back on it heavier than before. Thanks for all your post here they been a great help to get me motivated to try again.I think i nearly read every page .

Im 28yrs old and would start drink on a Thursday/friday night and not stop until sunday night. Over the past few months iv been gettin worse and am very close to destroyin my life over wat ive done to my family nd friends wen pissed.

Went to an aa today nd found it gud to listen to the stories but i had da feelin dat they were more hardcore drinkers than me and i sudnt be der.

The only requirement for attending AA is a desire to stop drinking , and you have that .

AA is made up of every type of drinker and not just the hard core crowd . The key is to identify and not compare - and all the time remembering the slogans dotted around the AA room - one that always struck a chord with me when listening to the horror stories was the ' Not Yet' sign .

I saw it happening to my friends as they passed in and out of the rooms - they had never crashed a car , or lost a job , or lost a family , or ended up in detox . But one by one as the years passed they ticked every one of those boxes and more .

Now is your chance to not be one of those people - grasp it , grasp it with both hands and never let go - it is more important than family friends job , everything . It is life itself , take it , there may not be another .

enoughalready

marienbad wrote: »

The only requirement for attending AA is a desire to stop drinking , and you have that .

AA is made up of every type of drinker and not just the hard core crowd . The key is to identify and not compare - and all the time remembering the slogans dotted around the AA room - one that always struck a chord with me when listening to the horror stories was the ' Not Yet' sign .

I saw it happening to my friends as they passed in and out of the rooms - they had never crashed a car , or lost a job , or lost a family , or ended up in detox . But one by one as the years passed they ticked every one of those boxes and more .

Now is your chance to not be one of those people - grasp it , grasp it with both hands and never let go - it is more important than family friends job , everything . It is life itself , take it , there may not be another .

Great post marienbad, curious to know why bad is part of your username lol.

JupiterKid

10 days sober now and counting. It's my birthday today - I'm 41 years of age and I so very much want this to be the beginning of the rest of my free, sober life. Back on the Antabuse so I must not drink.

I really want to put the past 8 years of my life behind me - the chaos, the darkness, the misery, the confusion, the shame, the guilt, the hopelessness and the despair. I want to rebuild my life. I just hope it's not too late.

Amazingfun

Jupiter:

People often mistake the slogan "One Day at a time" for meaning "just don't drink today", but really, it means we cannot EVER take a drink again, as long as we live (accepting that is half the battle of truly recovering, imo).....but that we LIVE LIFE one day at a time.

Like, instead of worrying and fretting about the future, or being obsessed with the past, we can take this 24 hours and treat it as a precious gift--because it is. And all anyone has is the present 24 hours of life, no matter how many hours/days/years away from a drink.

So: Happy Birthday

realdanbreen

JupiterKid wrote: »

10 days sober now and counting. It's my birthday today - I'm 41 years of age and I so very much want this to be the beginning of the rest of my free, sober life. Back on the Antabuse so I must not drink.

I really want to put the past 8 years of my life behind me - the chaos, the darkness, the misery, the confusion, the shame, the guilt, the hopelessness and the despair. I want to rebuild my life. I just hope it's not too late.

Keep it up kid. There are thousands of us out there doing the same thing, a day at a time. Remember you are doing this for yourself, you deserve a life free from all that chaos and misery that you mention.

enoughalready

Happy birthday Jupiterkid. Hope you reach all your goals in life. We're all in the same boat here, comforting to know we are not entirely alone in our struggles.

lawlolawl

A month today for me.

I wanted it this time so it was relatively easy and it seems to have stuck. Cutting down on the junk food now and getting somewhat serious about diet and exercise.

Keeping myself busy on my days off/evenings but the ritual of the few cans is far behind me at this stage, it's not something i'd even consider going back to now.

Everything is just so much better for me without it. I look better, i feel better, i'm not really anxious much any more.

Alcohol is a really dangerous ****ing thing is what i've come to realise. It has the potential to be utterly life changing in a rather short space of time and it kind of creeps up on you because it is such an integral part of Irish life. I'd hate to become one of those preachy anti-alcohol types but at the same time i'm coming to realise that it has a massive negative effect on our society and on quite a few individuals i meet every day.

Anyway, might ease off on the updates now because i'm sort of repeating myself at this stage Can't really give any strong advice to anyone else starting out because i didn't do AA or whatever because i think you are stymied with that kind of thing from the start if you don't really want to give up and then you'll just do it with or without AA. I'm sure it works for some people but i know it would have been lost on me.

leinsterdude

Interesting, I have posted here a few times, I cut back, and love nothing more than a few cans, problem is I want them every night, but do stop myself, its hard but Im at 2 nights a week now, so far so good.

firstday

It's amazing what 30 day off it can do for you, last time i gave up i was off it that long and the benifits were great more energy, concentration, less anxious but then i got conplacent and thought its only a few at christmas and here i am 18 months later only 3 days off it now. I do think exercise and diet can be a great help when you do it regularly. Healthy body, Healthy mind and all that.
Good luck everybody.

Ps.
Happy bday Jupiterkid
Life begins at 41

Laeot

65 days ....

Hanging in there ...
Keep up the good work people ...