Haven't touched a drop in...

marienbad

Dave! wrote: »

Hi guys,

I'd appreciate if we could keep the focus of this thread on recovery support, advice and discussion that is applicable to all approaches.

If it becomes too specific to particular recovery methods then we'll end up with multiple parallel conversations happening, which will make the thread less useful to the broader community.

Thanks so much! You're all awesome!

Dave

Hi Dave

I am aware of not discussing moderation in thread so I thought long and hard before replying to you and I came to the conclusion that I must in good conscience reply publicly to you .

I hear what you are saying , but we can only post from our own experience . And if that experience happens to be AA then so be it . I am not competent to post on anything else .

If I am to remain honest and sincere in what I say I simply cannot pretend otherwise . The one thing I can do and do do very frequently is to assert that this is in my experience or this is how I found such and such a thing . That is all I can say .

Unlike other threads on discussion fora I have found this one to be rigorously honest and focused at all times and that is because posters speak from the heart and if they are to be constrained from doing so then the thread will die .

Humbly Yours

Marienbad

Dave!

marienbad wrote: »

Hi Dave

I am aware of not discussing moderation in thread so I thought long and hard before replying to you and I came to the conclusion that I must in good conscience reply publicly to you .

I hear what you are saying , but we can only post from our own experience . And if that experience happens to be AA then so be it . I am not competent to post on anything else .

If I am to remain honest and sincere in what I say I simply cannot pretend otherwise . The one thing I can do and do do very frequently is to assert that this is in my experience or this is how I found such and such a thing . That is all I can say .

Unlike other threads on discussion fora I have found this one to be rigorously honest and focused at all times and that is because posters speak from the heart and if they are to be constrained from doing so then the thread will die .

Humbly Yours

Marienbad

Hi Marienbad,

I hear you.

However other users can find the AA focus isn't very helpful to them. We don't want to end up with users skimming each others posts.

Let's say on the one hand we make a small effort to generalise posts in this thread so that they're useful to everyone, and on the other hand we make an effort to understand where people are coming from and try to help even if we're using a different approach.

Everyone is just trying to get better, let's just focus on that

Have a nice weekend everyone

petes

Quiet in here

candycock

2 days off it,it's not a lot I no but I'm ready for a battle,I'm also taking anti abuse,thinks it's calls Librium or something like that,I've been hitting it hard since February,packed on 2 stone an I have depression and anxiety,

petes

candycock wrote: »

2 days off it,it's not a lot I no but I'm ready for a battle,I'm also taking anti abuse,thinks it's calls Librium or something like that,I've been hitting it hard since February,packed on 2 stone an I have depression and anxiety,

Librium is for the withdrawal and the symptoms that go with that, it's a benzo I think. The anta abuse is for drinking. It provides no effect from the booze and make you sick if you drink if I recall correctly.

Everyone has to start somewhere, remember that. Support is very important. For a while stay away from people, places and things that might cause you to think about or have a drink.

My usual advice is to eat well and maybe try some exercise. Your sleep is going to be messed up for a few weeks but it will get much better

2 weeks today anxiety and mind racing is pretty bad. I hope it gets easier..

The flying mouse

Deleted User wrote: »

2 weeks today anxiety and mind racing is pretty bad. I hope it gets easier..

It should always get better once your sticking to whatever plan you doing, Nothing can ever be worse than going back to an abuse of alcohol, It takes time to adjust as for most of us here our whole lives were fixed onto how to get smashed, So we now have a huge void to fill, Take it one day at a time and get a plan in place, exercise , long slow walks etc , keep occupied you can do this lots of us here and elsewhere have...

deseil

Hi Guys I hope everyone is doing well!
I havent posted in a long while ive had a few hiccups over the past few months,but the morning afters have really cemented in my mind how minging and rotten I feel after drinking.
I remind myself each morning when I wake after no drink how fresh and well I feel,as compared to if I had a drink.
I take a few moments with a coffee and try and cement the feeling in my mind.
This has really worked for me because everytime I think of having a drink, those morning moments flood my mind and I know thats the way I want to feel on waking.

So every evening rather than thinking will I have a drink or not I make a choice, will I feel like crap in the morning or Will I feel good and refreshed in the morning.
The Good and refreshed side is winning an I feel great.

candycock

Hi all I love following the post oh here,I've football tonight so afterwards the pub will be next stop,should I just slip off after the match? Or do I join the lads an just stay for an hour? Any tips on dealing with this situation? This is all new to me so forgive me if I ask stupid questions.thanks.

petes

candycock wrote: »

Hi all I love following the post oh here,I've football tonight so afterwards the pub will be next stop,should I just slip off after the match? Or do I join the lads an just stay for an hour? Any tips on dealing with this situation? This is all new to me so forgive me if I ask stupid questions.thanks.

Football/exercise is a good thing. As I said earlier you need to stay away from people, places and things that might make you have a drink or think about it especially as its early days. By no means become a hermit Most if these things are a trigger. Maybe try AA or an alternative. I tried AA and it wasn't for me but I did learn a lot some if which I still use today.

It's not easy. I stayed away from pubs, moved home etc. Moved back out on my own after 4 months and after a month I was in the off licence. Lasted a week of drinking


Moved back home again. Will be six months sober tomorrow. Have other things that I take meds for etc. so it does take time.

If it's something you want there will be some hard work.

Keep reading here and posting, it does help and everyone here is in the same boat

Take time for yourself. Wait until all the toxins etc. have left you, start sleeping and eating better.

Enjoyed the footie this evening

The flying mouse

As petes says, Changing your usual way of life has to go hand in hand with your changing social habits of not drinking, Yes it is hard and yes you will get stick and people saying you are changing, When I stopped drinking first my then partner told me that I was now a dry ****e and was more fun when drinking, this is the same partner who changed locks on doors and got police for me on more than one occasion :-)go figure.

I stayed away from all social activity's that involved drink ,except funerals as you can leave there early and nobody's notices, Its hard at first to adopt but nothing changes if nothing changes. Keep posting CC we all here ya.

Bunny Colvin

Day 40

To give a little update, I'm doing well. I've found that my confidence has increased, I've had a lot of people tell me already that I'm looking good, my diet is more consistent, work is becoming easier and I can train any day I want. Not to mention the cash saved, my sleep improving and having zero wasted days hungover. I'm hitting Croke Park tomorrow. I'm looking forward to the game itself and not the session that I would usually have been in the middle of.

It's a different life to a certain degree but hand on heart, I'm appreciating the benefits it's giving me and I'm trying not to take them for granted. There's times when you're out or you pass a pub you know well and think you'd love to sit up at the bar and murder a pint but apart from that, there's been no problem. People have been sound when they see I'm not drinking, I've told them it's for a training program until November but i'm looking at longer, there's no need to make a decision if I'll drink again yet. I'm going forward at the moment, not backwards when I don't drink and I'm really not in the form for taking any backward steps . All the best to everyone in here.

The flying mouse

Bunny Colvin wrote: »

Day 40

To give a little update, I'm doing well. I've found that my confidence has increased, I've had a lot of people tell me already that I'm looking good, my diet is more consistent, work is becoming easier and I can train any day I want. Not to mention the cash saved, my sleep improving and having zero wasted days hungover. I'm hitting Croke Park tomorrow. I'm looking forward to the game itself and not the session that I would usually have been in the middle of.

It's a different life to a certain degree but hand on heart, I'm appreciating the benefits it's giving me and I'm trying not to take them for granted. There's times when you're out or you pass a pub you know well and think you'd love to sit up at the bar and murder a pint but apart from that, there's been no problem. People have been sound when they see I'm not drinking, I've told them it's for a training program until November but i'm looking at longer, there's no need to make a decision if I'll drink again yet. I'm going forward at the moment, not backwards when I don't drink and I'm really not in the form for taking any backward steps . All the best to everyone in here.

Great job Bunny and love the bolded part, well done.

Bunny Colvin

The flying mouse wrote: »

Great job Bunny and love the bolded part, well done.

Thanks FM, here's to another positive weekend

Glen_Quagmire

Been reading this thread for a while now and well done to all those who have managed to give up or those in the process!

I've been drinking now every weekend for the last 15 years and decided after one too many hangover and many other alcohol side effects that I wanted to give it up. I wouldn't consider myself an alcoholic as I only drink Friday and Saturday and the very odd Sunday. However the fact that I cannot seem to stop drinking and literally crave a drink on a Friday after a long week makes me think I may actually have some alcohol issues.

I have just finished reading Allen Carrs Easyway to Control Alcohol and I found it OK but not as good as I'd hoped. Allen makes some good points about the "alcohol trap" that and that we are never in control of our drinking no matter how much or often we consume "the foul tasting poison" as he describes alcohol. He goes on to explain that alcohol has "absolutely no benefits whatsoever" but that point was hard to hit home with me as I literally really do enjoy a few beers on a Friday after the weeks work.

Anyway, today is Friday and yes I am craving that stress releasing beer, however that will just bring me straight back into the "alcohol trap" and back to square one.

According to the book will power is not the way to go, we should think of alcohol as a disgusting poison that will do nothing for us apart from make us physically and mentally ill, take our money and inhibriate us. He says we have been brain washed from an early age to think of alcohol as a social and enjoyable drink that makes occasions and situations better.

This is gonna be tough!

enoughalready

4 months and it's flown! Have a fu*king wedding next weekend that I'm absolutely dreading it!!! I'm not in any way tempted to drink but would rather gouge my eyes out than attend - going to have to grin and bare it and slip away early if I can

tinpib

enoughalready wrote: »

Have a fu*king wedding next weekend that I'm absolutely dreading it!!! I'm not in any way tempted to drink but would rather gouge my eyes out than attend - going to have to grin and bare it and slip away early if I can

I'm living abroad and missed a wedding last weekend. Was delighted to miss it. I can completely understand where you are coming from. Best of luck with it.

Bonniedog

Bunny Colvin wrote: »

I'm hitting Croke Park tomorrow. .....

Not posted for a while but been reading away. Still pis£ed off over GAA ban, but as someone said, this forum serves a different purpose.

Matches have been my downfall in the past so I approach them with trepidation!

Have been okay so far this year, but today I've several times found myself thinking about pints in Gills. Will be meeting a few people who will be drinking before and after but have no intention of joining in. Usually have my daughter who is useful excuse to not go to pub or leave quickly. She can't go tomorrow.

I have to say, I'm looking forward to match but not to the before and after as it was after match I had really ba relapse that it took me a long time to recover from.

Goes with the territory I suppose ...

The Bishop Basher

enoughalready wrote: »

4 months and it's flown! Have a fu*king wedding next weekend that I'm absolutely dreading it!!! I'm not in any way tempted to drink but would rather gouge my eyes out than attend - going to have to grin and bare it and slip away early if I can

I feel your pain..

I've made 2 significant changes since giving up drink..

1) If I don't want to attend something, I don't attend. I don't care who'll be put out or offended and I don't care who was relying on me for a lift home. If I don't want to go I'm not going.

1) I don't commit to anything (within reason). I'll usually just say that I'd love to be there and will do my best but I've learned to always give myself an out.

Sounds selfish and it is but after years of pleasing everyone else and drinking my way through torturous functions that I really didn't want to be at, just to make it bearable, I realised that life is short and time is precious and I really don't have to do it anymore.

It's been incredibly liberating.

Laeot

143 days.

Today for the first time in a month or so I romanticised going on a pub crawl.
It came upon me suddenly as I was driving through my local city (Waterford).
Driving by the old haunts and imagining downing some beers and being cock o the walk... Not a care in the world ...

But I didn't drink.

Romanticising turned into catastrophising. This is the key for me. Play the fcuking tape to the end and imagine...... I.e. A disaster.

Keep well my friends.

tinpib

Laeot wrote: »

Romanticising turned into catastrophising. This is the key for me. Play the fcuking tape to the end and imagine...... I.e. A disaster.

When I was on holiday in April I had a realisation, I wouldn't call it an epiphany. I was in my room, bored and hungry, so went for a walk Saturday night to get some food.

I walked past a a few buzzing bars and I thought o myself "God I'd love to go out now" and as you say I romanticised it in my head. I got a warm feeling of all the brilliant nights I had out over the years

But then just as quickly I played the tape forward and had the realisation that those days are over. They had been over for years. Sure in my late teens and early 20s almost every night was brilliant fun, not a care in the world, and barely a hangover.

Then I remembered that I hadn't experienced many nights like that in recent years. Then I think that it hit home to me that they are never coming back and I almost felt a sense of loss. The acceptance at that moment almost made me felt like I was grieving.

It was strange, and that sense of loss/acceptance has stuck with me since then.

marienbad

Brilliant posts Laeot and tinnib - reminds us yet again just why we are here and what we must do .

keep the faith peeps

marienbad

Swanner wrote: »

It's been incredibly liberating.

no longer the prisoner of anyone or anything , couldn't agree more

The flying mouse

Great posts tinpib and laeot,It is indeed a great feeling to admit to ourselves that we cant have that first drink, that as happened to me on many occasions, when you do go into the bar after the first drink your saying what the **** am I doing here, its like groundhog day ..Well done again it takes strength in ourselves to overcome this .

Bonniedog

another ban from GAA forum!

Not exactly sure for what but I suppose Meath and Cork people need to occupy themselves in some fashion now that they are sh!t at everything.

Back in the real world. survived the game but there is definitely something missing when you are not lowering the pints.

marienbad

Bonniedog wrote: »

another ban from GAA forum!

Not exactly sure for what but I suppose Meath and Cork people need to occupy themselves in some fashion now that they are sh!t at everything.

Back in the real world. survived the game but there is definitely something missing when you are not lowering the pints.

Of course there is something missing Bonnie - the loss of your memories of the night before , that terrible hangover feeling , the lightness in your pocket and they are just the mild things you are missing out on

Bunny Colvin

Bonniedog wrote: »

another ban from GAA forum!

Not exactly sure for what but I suppose Meath and Cork people need to occupy themselves in some fashion now that they are sh!t at everything.

Back in the real world. survived the game but there is definitely something missing when you are not lowering the pints.

Survived it myself. Was tired today because yesterday was one long day but not being hungover or 'feared up', keeping my self-respect and remembering everything is something I appreciated when I woke up this morning. Don't forget that.

Bonniedog

Bunny Colvin wrote: »

Survived it myself. Was tired today because yesterday was one long day but not being hungover or 'feared up', keeping my self-respect and remembering everything is something I appreciated when I woke up this morning. Don't forget that.

Don't goto meetings because not my thing.


was only taking the pee my friend. Being banned from a sports site is neither here nor there.

I posted first her nearly two years ago in start of recovery after being at wit's end. Drinking just to get myself out the door.


don't go to meetings as not my thing. but if it works for people, the good.

This s my default zone.

Good luck people.

Bonniedog

marienbad wrote: »

Of course there is something missing Bonnie - the loss of your memories of the night before , that terrible hangover feeling , the lightness in your pocket and they are just the mild things you are missing out on

Yes. Survived the night.

It is something else though. That part of you that thinks that you are missing something.


I don't miss hardly being able to pour a vodka at 7 in the morning.

Do I miss what came before that? Yes, I do but I know its not worth it anymore.

Bonniedog

Bunny Colvin wrote: »

Survived it myself. Was tired today because yesterday was one long day but not being hungover or 'feared up', keeping my self-respect and remembering everything is something I appreciated when I woke up this morning. Don't forget that.

Played and been involved all my life.

Seriously, I can go months without even thinking about a gargle. Match days are a switch. Start of horrible binges years ago so always war, and to be honest would have loved to have a pint in gills.

It is only the knowing of hwat Bonne is going to be next day and for next weeks stops me,

It is a fkn curse my chums.