Haven't touched a drop in...

drydub

Everything went fine last night, knew i would hit high pressure from people so ended up bringing 0% beers and had 3 of them, stayed a few hours enjoyed myself. Had some really bad news then late last night which really has shook me today but just hanging tough.

Going to try get out on my bike this evening to clear my head and steer clear of the beer garden.

The flying mouse

I have used every tool possible in my fight against this addiction, From reading books, to AA to internet forums and all have helped me in my battle, seven n half years clean now and feeling great, I have gone back to CA to do the twelve steps and I must say I am more than surprised by the insight and help I am getting from them, Have a sponsor n all and its great talking to him. ,re the different ways/tools to use What ever you feel is helping use and take the good bits that suit you n leave the rest. ;-)

dartsplayer

a

dartsplayer

Yep, I have problem with the word alcoholic too, although I have been thinking more about that recently.

Was drink ruining my life? Absolutely not. Well, not yet.

Was I ever arrested? No, not even close. Not yet.

Was I ruining relationships? No, not yet.

But for me it was stopping me from being happy, from fulfilling my potential.

On holiday last Christmas as I looked back over the year the only positive achievement I had was I started running regularly. I was also sober from Feb-June 2015.

I was achieving NOTHING while drinking. I'd start on Thursday and go out 'socialising' doing the same sh1t every single week. Then I nursed my way back to normality Friday and Saturday, sometimes going out again. I had a rule, which I rarely broke, of not drinking on a Sunday. Then just get through Monday and possibly Tuesday. Feel positive, refreshed, clear headed on a Wednesday and Thursday until 6pm to repeat the process.

Wednesday and Thursday until 6pm were the only times I ever felt like going food shopping, cooking, getting anything done. The rest of the time it was "ugggh, I'll get my haircut tomorrow", "ugghh, I'll iron my clothes tomorrow", "ugggh, I'll do that tomorrow".

All I was doing was hoping the day would be over so that I would feel half normal or fully normal the next day.

What a huge waste of time.

I had an idea for a Kindle book last Christmas and it would take me 40 years to do it if I just did it on Wednesday evenings. Boredom was always my downfall when I gave it up before. So I had my epiphany of giving up booze again but throwing myself into writing the book.

It worked. I absolutely bust my ass on it and from Jan-April, drinking only really entered my head twice.

Since then I've found it hard to find a project to get my teeth into, I've spent far too much time recently staring at my laptop, watching/betting on soccer. That's a whole other post, but I'm on day 2 of not betting. Another colossal waste of time/money that usually ends up making me feel like sh1t.

It is difficult at first, keep reading, try things out as suggested here, take it one day at a time You are breaking the habit of a lifetime, it can be tough. If you slip, or go back drinking fully committed like I have done in the past, then simply stop again.

I got a lot better at sobriety over the years.

edit: oh ya, once I start drinking I can't stop! I've known it for years, have no difficulty in admitting it. That is often used as the definition of alcoholism. But I still have problems with the word.

dartsplayer

whoops meant to quote that it was tinpib who said that

drydub

The bike and getting out has been a great help yesterday and today in staying busy.

Last night was tough as it was a 'midweek rewards night' but early to bed and just took it easy.

Tonight i might go out for a bite to eat, breaks the week up but stick on the tap water .

The Bishop Basher

drydub wrote: »

Tonight i might go out for a bite to eat, breaks the week up but stick on the tap water .

Well done drydub...

New habits form quickly so keep doing what your doing and in time it'll start to become your new normal..

Not sure whether your reading or not but worth considering as a lot of us find reading can help to reinforce and strengthen your resolve..

As above though, very important to treat yourself..

Ice cream, chocolate and coke (cola) are my guilty pleasures

tinpib

Swanner wrote: »

Ice cream, chocolate and coke (cola) are my guilty pleasures

I'm still guzzling soft drink. As a vice I'll settle for it, far worse things I could be doing.

mravaya

been dry for 30 yrs, no desire to have a drink again either

4 weeks today and feeling pretty good apart from some mild anxiety.

Glen_Quagmire

Fridays are my weak day and I've just been thrown a curve ball.. I done a favour for a friend and he dropped me down a crate of beer last night as a thank you. I kindly tried to refuse but he insisted. I didn't want to be rude so I took it. I'll have to try my best not to touch it and try even harder to give it away!

Stealthfins

Off the hooch 13 year's,and I don't miss it one bit.

drydub

Friday and still going strong.
Busy enough week, had my treat on wednesday and no drink in the pub. A bit of work tomorrow but hoping to get out on the bike if the weather plays ball
Feeling great

Glen_Quagmire

Capt'n Midnight wrote:

So 7% of Leaving Cert students failed Maths. Another way of looking at it is that 83% passed. I'm a glass-half-full kind of guy..

So I actually abstained last night, first Friday in years about 15 years apart from last January when I tried to do dry January and lasted 3 weeks.

Up early this morning and just back from the gym and feeling great.

How long will I last is the big question. Hopefully a long time!!

leinsterdude

Fair play, at least you are trying, and even 3 weeks is something.

Bunny Colvin

Keep it going lads. Pack your weekends with stuff to do and have it planned out before Friday comes along.

drydub

Just a check in I suppose.
Abstained last night which was no big deal. Went to a pub to meet friends for lunch. No hassle. Had a non alcoholic erdinger.
Was happy to see people

Today i feel quite down. I think it's to do with the Olympics finishing too and maybe the weather but feel awful down or blue

petes

drydub wrote: »

Just a check in I suppose.
Abstained last night which was no big deal. Went to a pub to meet friends for lunch. No hassle. Had a non alcoholic erdinger.
Was happy to see people

Today i feel quite down. I think it's to do with the Olympics finishing too and maybe the weather but feel awful down or blue

Any reason for the non alcoholic beer? To me that's a complete temptation.

Irish_rat

300 days whoop whoop :-)

I'm getting a lot of questions about it, it's funny and the lads find it incredible really. Two of them came into work today worse for wear, a timely reminder to never let my guard down.

Keep it up folks, it can be rewarding. I moved into my new house last weekend and I'm going back to college part time through my employer. I've absolutely no time for alcohol now.

enoughalready

Slipped again over the weekend. Was just over 4 months this time round. I don't kid myself that it will never happen again. I don't want to keep falling and dusting myself off! What a lonely place it is to be in battling this demon! I literally have so much disgust at myself. I've realised its my anxiety that is the underlying issue at play here and both issues feed one another like a vicious merry-go-round!

Sometimes I feel hopeless about the whole situation. Thankfully, not suicidal but just an awful despair about my life and my future if I continue slipping and sliding. Back to work tomorrow which will help me focus on someone else other than myself. I'll have my game face painted on and no-one will be any the wiser of the madness of the weekend just gone.

Glad we all have each other on this forum, cause honestly I'd be lost without you all.

petes

enoughalready wrote: »

Slipped again over the weekend. Was just over 4 months this time round. I don't kid myself that it will never happen again. I don't want to keep falling and dusting myself off! What a lonely place it is to be in battling this demon! I literally have so much disgust at myself. I've realised its my anxiety that is the underlying issue at play here and both issues feed one another like a vicious merry-go-round!

Sometimes I feel hopeless about the whole situation. Thankfully, not suicidal but just an awful despair about my life and my future if I continue slipping and sliding. Back to work tomorrow which will help me focus on someone else other than myself. I'll have my game face painted on and no-one will be any the wiser of the madness of the weekend just gone.

Glad we all have each other on this forum, cause honestly I'd be lost without you all.

Don't beat yourself up about it! Have you sought help with your anxiety?

enoughalready

I've been to counselling quite a bit but never felt I got much relief from it. The last thing I want is to go on is meds but honestly sometimes I feel it's the only option left. Sick with shame and fear - not in a great headspace but maybe when the fog clears I'll book an appointment- thanks Petes

The flying mouse

enoughalready wrote: »

Slipped again over the weekend. Was just over 4 months this time round. I don't kid myself that it will never happen again. I don't want to keep falling and dusting myself off! What a lonely place it is to be in battling this demon! I literally have so much disgust at myself. I've realised its my anxiety that is the underlying issue at play here and both issues feed one another like a vicious merry-go-round!

Sometimes I feel hopeless about the whole situation. Thankfully, not suicidal but just an awful despair about my life and my future if I continue slipping and sliding. Back to work tomorrow which will help me focus on someone else other than myself. I'll have my game face painted on and no-one will be any the wiser of the madness of the weekend just gone.

Glad we all have each other on this forum, cause honestly I'd be lost without you all.

Were here and we can relate enoughalready , Start again and try n learn how you slipped after 4 months.. Keep going you are not alone :-)

Bunny Colvin

petes wrote: »

Any reason for the non alcoholic beer? To me that's a complete temptation.

Was in Dublin for the game yesterday and in my local when I got home. Probably had about 10 of them throughout the whole day.

Wouldn't drink them like that unless it was a long day hanging around pubs like yesterday. I find them fine for me, I'm fresh as hell today and I had zero urge to have an alcoholic beer. Works for me but might not for others to be fair. Everyone's different but I like the taste and rather drink them than have a soft drink or water.

The Bishop Basher

enoughalready wrote: »

Slipped again over the weekend. Was just over 4 months this time round. I don't kid myself that it will never happen again. I don't want to keep falling and dusting myself off! What a lonely place it is to be in battling this demon! I literally have so much disgust at myself. I've realised its my anxiety that is the underlying issue at play here and both issues feed one another like a vicious merry-go-round!

Stop beating yourself up for starters It serves no purpose and it'll only make your anxiety worse. Slip ups and set backs can be part of the healing process. Unfortunately it's how many of us learn. Try to see it as part of your recovery and just get right back to staying sober. You'll be stronger because of this if you approach it in a positive way.

Anxiety is a nightmare but you can can get better. Step one as you already know, is staying away from the booze..

Good luck

clairewithani

enoughalready wrote: »

Slipped again over the weekend. Was just over 4 months this time round. I don't kid myself that it will never happen again. I don't want to keep falling and dusting myself off! What a lonely place it is to be in battling this demon! I literally have so much disgust at myself. I've realised its my anxiety that is the underlying issue at play here and both issues feed one another like a vicious merry-go-round!

Sometimes I feel hopeless about the whole situation. Thankfully, not suicidal but just an awful despair about my life and my future if I continue slipping and sliding. Back to work tomorrow which will help me focus on someone else other than myself. I'll have my game face painted on and no-one will be any the wiser of the madness of the weekend just gone.

Glad we all have each other on this forum, cause honestly I'd be lost without you all.

I think you should focus on the achievement of four months and not on the one slip. A slip is just that, it's not a fall. The only failure would be not trying again. Well done on four months. Keep posting.

drydub

petes wrote: »

Any reason for the non alcoholic beer? To me that's a complete temptation.

I wouldn't find non alcoholic beer tempting in the sense that if I had one or two that I would be especially craving to have a loada pints.
I guess just in the same sense that drinking water or miwadi can be a bit tedious for me.

I didn't give it a second thought really, didnt even finish it

Glen_Quagmire

I failed again the weekend. I didn't touch a drop Friday but was absolutely gummin all day Saturday and eventually caved and got 6 bottles of beer. I had 5 bottles then on Sunday night. I doubt I'll ever be able to stop to be honest.

Bunny Colvin

Glen_Quagmire wrote: »

I failed again the weekend. I didn't touch a drop Friday but was absolutely gummin all day Saturday and eventually caved and got 6 bottles of beer. I had 5 bottles then on Sunday night. I doubt I'll ever be able to stop to be honest.

Don't beat yourself up too much mate and don't lose hope. Every day is a new beginning. I'm not the one to offer advice on this but keep your head up and don't look back at the weekend gone. As I said above, plan your weekend. Wake up early, get out for a run/walk/swim/gym/sauna whatever you want. Keep busy throughout the day, give the house a full clean, call to friends or family for a coffee, get busy.
By the time the evening comes you want to be tired and feeling like you've had a productive day.

Talk to someone, or just keep posting on here. You're not alone and remember you've done nothing terrible by having a few bottles of beer. You can get back on that horse and you're well able to, it takes work but it's doable.

tinpib

Glen_Quagmire wrote: »

I failed again the weekend. I didn't touch a drop Friday but was absolutely gummin all day Saturday and eventually caved and got 6 bottles of beer. I had 5 bottles then on Sunday night. I doubt I'll ever be able to stop to be honest.

If you want to stop you will. If you want to stop again then just stop again. You've already gotten through a Friday which was breaking the habit of a life time. Not drinking on another Friday should be easier as you've done it before.

As posted already. Don't beat yourself up. You have made progress. Today is day 1 again. You will have a fresh head tomorrow.