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Haven't touched a drop in...
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Deleted User wrote: »Great to see you back, Souls! A massive bualadh bos for you. Well done. It gets easier, and further away, each day. There's so, so much else to get into/going on in life.
Thank you Anamcheasta for your kind words! Great to hear from you too!
Thats so true! life is still coming into bloom. cant really put words on it. thats why i love photography!
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clairewithani wrote: »Day 2
Sometimes feel sad.
Mostly feel nothing.
Not hopeful, not motivated, nervous or excited.
Nothing
It's not easy but trust me it's worth it. I'm not going to lie sometimes now I have a horrible few days but it's rare that drink enters my head. A lot of lads I know were in Madrid the weekend and I was a bit jealous if I'm honest but it's just something that I have to deal with.
You do need support, maybe counseling? I was seeing an addiction counselor which I think had an added benefit.
Post here as much as you can, you know you can post anything and ever here, I know I've rambled on here a few times and most other posters also 0 -
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ASoberThought wrote: »162 days for me today.
Things are certainly harder now than they were at the start. I'm going to start working the program more.Fingers Mcginty wrote: »That's a little disheartening. I was under the illusion it gets easier as time goes on?
Day 10 and feel great. Confidence is returning. I don't have the dreaded "fear" of waking up on the weekend wondering what the hell i did/say the previous night.
It does get easier the longer you stop,your body and mind does feel much better, But the problems of life are still there, they don't disappear,Your now probably in a long time actually seeing life with a clear sober mind and body, And sometimes it's not nice what you see, but instead of hiding away in a haze of alcohol, your now going to deal with them.
A sober thought, working your program and any other tools you have will certainly help,it's not easy to change ones life around but it is doable and so well worth it for the majority of who post here, keep at it and keep on posting 0 -
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Fingers Mcginty wrote: »2 weeks today. Happy out. I'm doing sober October but I might try and go longer.
Push it till December Fingers As you will feel absolutely great , keep posting and keeping us all informed .
Well done bikubesong, your doing fine, keep up the great work.
How you doing clairewithani ? its not easy but it can be done, keep at it...0 -
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clairewithani wrote: »I am doing ok, just ok. I gave up drinking before and after a few days felt great. I am not feeling great now. I am tired, agitated and feeling down. Still haven't had a drink though.
And may I ask what you are doing to help you get through the void of not drinking ?
You need to use and have some positive tools to help you and even support, Its very hard t beat this on our own clairewithani. There is sticky thread at top of forum maybe something there can help 0 -
The flying mouse wrote: »And may I ask what you are doing to help you get through the void of not drinking ?
You need to use and have some positive tools to help you and even support, Its very hard t beat this on our own clairewithani. There is sticky thread at top of forum maybe something there can help
One word jumped out at me there. "On OUR own" instead of "on YOUR own." Thank you. I will try post more and be more positive0 -
clairewithani wrote: »One word jumped out at me there. "On OUR own" instead of "on YOUR own." Thank you. I will try post more and be more positive
Clairewithani we folks who post and who just read here are all here for the same reason, Alcohol has made our life a living hell, We are gone past the point of enjoying the drink and being sociable and having a laugh, 99% of times we now drink trouble is not faraway.
Whether it be financial, domestic, relationships or just sickness our lives are in a mess, So you have come to one of the right places, there are many out there and living proof in how this addiction/disease/illness etc can be beaten.
I am 55 I drinking since I was 13/14, I did not stop until 2009,So I had 20 years of heavy drinking, the other years I was sociable enough, until it got a hold of me, I promised everyone, I don't know how many times I would stop, I changed drinks, I changed bars, I changed friends, I changed chippers, as I blamed everything on my illness except the real cause. I had to realise that this was internal illness not external and its me that had to change.
Anyway I got carried away there
The point being you can and everyone can beat this. go for it . 0 -
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Didn't have a good day today. Felt down in the dumps for no reason at all.
In times like these I would have gone down the offy and obliterated myself with the help of my old friend. A way of detaching from reality like I've done all my life.
I know AA is not for me but I feel like posting here is the next best thing. I didn't give into the temptation that peaked a few hours ago. Feeling a bit better now and I know I won't be waking up tomorrow feeling 10 times worse.
Phew 0 -
Fingers Mcginty wrote: »Didn't have a good day today. Felt down in the dumps for no reason at all.
In times like these I would have gone down the offy and obliterated myself with the help of my old friend. A way of detaching from reality like I've done all my life.
I know AA is not for me but I feel like posting here is the next best thing. I didn't give into the temptation that peaked a few hours ago. Feeling a bit better now and I know I won't be waking up tomorrow feeling 10 times worse.
Phew
Hi fingers, This is certainly roller coaster of a ride, Them cravings or witching hours that come are normal when we stop, Its how you deal with them and to be ready for next time they come, and they will come.
There are other support groups out there if AA is not for you, Chk out the sticky at top of forum and something might interest you there, Its good you posted here...You are not alone.0 -
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...........106 days I think. 13th July was the last time alcohol crossed my lips. Excel assures me that is 106 days. With the exception of 200ml of Guinness used in a ginger bread cake and 50ml of white wine used when baking fish. But I think cooking can be excused can it not?
I have finally changed my narrative from drinker to non-drinker. During "drinker" I was occasionally "not drinking at the moment". For example after "Other voices" last year it was the first week of May before I drank again. So slightly over 5 months without.
But my narrative was always that I was "a drinker" even when not drinking at those times. On the 13th July though I made some stupid STUPID decisions under the influence and decided that was it for me. Time to switch narrative. Alas the decisions on that night were bad enough (though thankfully with no lasting repercussions for me or anyone else) that not a day goes by without me thinking "What was I thinking?!?!?!?!".
I have been quite lucky as it goes. I am not the "problem drinker" type that misses alcohol when not having any. So refraining from it has not been an issue AT ALL for me. I am the EXTREME binge drinker type though that once I get a certain level of alcohol in me.... then I can not get enough of it.
Something "switches" inside me and I just need to drink until I barf or lose consciousness. And even the former has not stopped me sometimes. And in both cases it was not unheard of for me to get up the next morning and do it again from breakfast onwards. I could sit at my PC of a Friday night and drink a few beers and 2 bottles of wine, and then start wondering how I might get my hands on more, like messaging people I know to drop a bottle or two around to me. Thankfully I do not live within walking distance of a shop, or I might never have stopped on those nights!
Thankfully however even that was rare. In any 12 month year I would have about 15 nights of binge and the rest of the year not drink at all. So now that I am off the stuff, I feel no compulsion or desire or craving or anything.
I genuinely feel for the people who do though. I am addicted to mundane things. Sugar and Carbs mostly, currently in the form of coca cola and pringles. And the addiction manifests itself in all kinds of ways. Sometimes a desire so strong it manifests as actual physical pain. Other times feelings hungry and thirsty despite being full of food and drink. All the different, sometimes subtle, sometimes extreme, ways this addiction can make itself known.
And the worst with addiction is how the mind plays all the same tricks on me that I hear alcoholics describe. Telling you things like "well you have been good for so long, why not tonight?" or "Ok you are off it but JUST TONIGHT you deserve it because...." or the absolute worst one where you resist and resist and resist..... entirely successfully you believe..... only to find yourself while putting things on the check out that at some point you picked the stuff up after all and you do not even remember doing it and sure "no point putting it back now" you tell yourself.
And that is just coke and crisps FFS!
So at least, while the effects on ones life are different between alcohol and mere sugar and carbs.... the former being infinitely more damaging than the latter usually......... the manifestation of addiction is similar so I can recognize it in myself if and when it arises. And I am so lucky to not be in THAT way addicted to alcohol. I do not suffer from ANY of that with alcohol and really feel for those of you on the thread that do! And extreme respect I have for all of you who resist that successfully.
But July was bad enough that there is a paranoid part of me all the same that fears a relapse of some description even with ZERO sign of it happening. So I am maintaining a healthy level of self vigilance and caution by avoiding any and all of the trigger situations in which I would drink before. Empty free time seemed to be the main one for me, so I have recently started working with Syrian Refugees here in Germany, training them on Web Development coding in Javascript, CSS, HTML, Ruby, GitHub, Algorithms and more. So that's taking up 6 hours of my week teaching and another 6 preparing and learning myself (never used Ruby before for example). Stimulating volunteer work I think is a seriously good weapon for anyone struggling with an addiction. For a few reasons. Filling the free time. Feeling good about yourself. Having responsibility for others. All things that help over come SOME of the more insidious manifestations of addiction.
So, probably over kill, and I probably do not have a "problem" to the degree many people have. But I have developed enough respect for alcohol, and enough lack of respect for my own ability to "Enjoy Alcohol sensibly" as the slogan goes...... to act very much like I have a serious problem whether I actually do or not. Which is probably the wise and healthy approach for me to take. I would rather over react to it than under.
Anyway that is my story. Dunno why I am posting it, but there ya go The nozzferrahhtoo is human too. 0
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