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Haven't touched a drop in...
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45 days. I have toyed with stopping for the last five or six years, but I was drinking so infrequently over that time, that I thought my relationship with alcohol was okay. I love drinking when I drink. I could, and did, drink for days on end. But I hate myself afterwards. A sad clown. Great craic.
There was no climactic turning point that brought me to this. I attended a wedding and drank too much, had a great time, and spent the following week alone in myself, frightened, broken, sick, ashamed, and utterly detached from every solid and good thing in my life. And I suddenly knew that I could never put myself in this position ever again. I talked to my wife, and told her that I was done. Only the fourth time drinking this year! But it felt worse than ever. Maybe the fear is cumulative, until it reaches a point where it reaches in and tries to strangle you. I am happy that something in me was able to recognise that it was time to take action. I saw an internet meme with Skeletor a few weeks after that captured it perfectly: "My transformation begins with my being tired of my own bull****". Truth can pop out in the strangest places!
And so here I am. I think about alcohol from time to time, but not often. I can't say that I miss it, although some part of me must do: maybe the Christmas period will bring pressure, but I see my priorities so clearly, set against the alcoholism that wrecked my parents and annihilated my own childhood. My son will never have to deal with a drunken father or mother. He will not learn shame from me. And I might learn to manage my own shame in the process.
Best of luck to everyone here.0 -
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Bongalongherb wrote: »I done well for a while off the beer, now I haven't touched a drop of ordinary beer since I went off it, but I have fell off the wagon again and am drinking about 8 cans of guinness a day. I can't give it up, I tried and tried but am now salivating opening this next can. I feel grand though and also awake with no hangover, but, after the shock last time, I'll be taking a two week break starting tomorrow. I'm your typical alcoholic, even the thought of dying from liver disease doesn't get it through to me, not that I really give a sh!t to be honest. Death would be a release.
It's not a good place to be in Bongalongherb if you don't care about living ! What have you NOT tried in your attempts to stop ? I and I am sure many others here have been where you are at the moment,But listen there is hope and there is a way out of this, keep posting , read more of the threads here, also there is a sticky at the top of the forum with help numbers and advise.45 days. I have toyed with stopping for the last five or six years, but I was drinking so infrequently over that time, that I thought my relationship with alcohol was okay. I love drinking when I drink. I could, and did, drink for days on end. But I hate myself afterwards. A sad clown. Great craic.
There was no climactic turning point that brought me to this. I attended a wedding and drank too much, had a great time, and spent the following week alone in myself, frightened, broken, sick, ashamed, and utterly detached from every solid and good thing in my life. And I suddenly knew that I could never put myself in this position ever again. I talked to my wife, and told her that I was done. Only the fourth time drinking this year! But it felt worse than ever. Maybe the fear is cumulative, until it reaches a point where it reaches in and tries to strangle you. I am happy that something in me was able to recognise that it was time to take action. I saw an internet meme with Skeletor a few weeks after that captured it perfectly: "My transformation begins with my being tired of my own bull****". Truth can pop out in the strangest places!
And so here I am. I think about alcohol from time to time, but not often. I can't say that I miss it, although some part of me must do: maybe the Christmas period will bring pressure, but I see my priorities so clearly, set against the alcoholism that wrecked my parents and annihilated my own childhood. My son will never have to deal with a drunken father or mother. He will not learn shame from me. And I might learn to manage my own shame in the process.
Best of luck to everyone here.
Well done scriba , yes the thoughts will pop up and it takes time for them to float away, keep doing whatever your doing as its working for you,put a few plans into place for when the temptation jumps out of no where to try n grasp you, keep posting your sharing helps others.bikubesong wrote: »58 days, a little over 8 weeks. I hope it is just the beginning of forever.
Having said that, I do take it one day at a time.
But it's certainly the longest period of sobriety I've ever had.
Well done and one day at a time is right..onwards and upwards.
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45 days. I have toyed with stopping for the last five or six years, but I was drinking so infrequently over that time, that I thought my relationship with alcohol was okay. I love drinking when I drink. I could, and did, drink for days on end. But I hate myself afterwards. A sad clown. Great craic.
There was no climactic turning point that brought me to this. I attended a wedding and drank too much, had a great time, and spent the following week alone in myself, frightened, broken, sick, ashamed, and utterly detached from every solid and good thing in my life. And I suddenly knew that I could never put myself in this position ever again. I talked to my wife, and told her that I was done. Only the fourth time drinking this year! But it felt worse than ever. Maybe the fear is cumulative, until it reaches a point where it reaches in and tries to strangle you. I am happy that something in me was able to recognise that it was time to take action. I saw an internet meme with Skeletor a few weeks after that captured it perfectly: "My transformation begins with my being tired of my own bull****". Truth can pop out in the strangest places!
And so here I am. I think about alcohol from time to time, but not often. I can't say that I miss it, although some part of me must do: maybe the Christmas period will bring pressure, but I see my priorities so clearly, set against the alcoholism that wrecked my parents and annihilated my own childhood. My son will never have to deal with a drunken father or mother. He will not learn shame from me. And I might learn to manage my own shame in the process.
Best of luck to everyone here.
Love this post. I can empathise with every thing you said there.
Thanks and keep posting here.0 -
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nozzferrahhtoo wrote: »...........106 days I think. 13th July was the last time alcohol crossed my lips. Excel assures me that is 106 days. With the exception of 200ml of Guinness used in a ginger bread cake and 50ml of white wine used when baking fish. But I think cooking can be excused can it not?
Hmmm seems I have to somewhat retract that statement. Still I am going to consider it that I am still 131 days off alcohol and simply cook less with alcohol 0 -
Nozz, I am gonna put that here if you don't mind. I've known a couple of folks over the years who got tripped back into drinking and upon reflection sussed that it was indeed using alcohol in food/baking that got the ball rolling again.
AA's step one (first half of it anyways) is completely focused on the "physical allergy" theory and how innocently imbibing even small amounts of alcohol can set some of us off into uncontrolled drinking again.
Thanks very much for this link, timely too for the upcoming Christmas Season ---might save a few a needless trip back to the bottom
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alexonhisown wrote: »Yes, well done to all of you
I follow this thread a lot, for no particular reason other than i admire you all, it cant be easy
Just my own take, but sobriety is much "easier" than prison/hospitals and other various blackout-related humiliations. In fact, it's a much better and more beautiful way of life than the one I was living near the end of my boozy-road, that's for damn sure 0 -
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Hey everyone, just checking in to say I have ten weeks sober today - 70 days - the longest I've ever gone without a drink. I hope and pray that I'll never touch the stuff again in my life. Still just taking it a day at a time - sometimes an hour at a time, even a minute at a time, when things are especially rough.
I lost the majority of my friendships and relationships, was asked to leave the apartment I'd lived in for four years, and had to quit my job all because of my drinking. It's still a rough ride dealing with the shame and guilt that comes with those memories. But you couldn't pay me a million euro right now to drink on them. I feel more positive about life than I have in a long time. 0 -
bikubesong wrote: »Hey everyone, just checking in to say I have ten weeks sober today - 70 days - the longest I've ever gone without a drink. I hope and pray that I'll never touch the stuff again in my life. Still just taking it a day at a time - sometimes an hour at a time, even a minute at a time, when things are especially rough.
I lost the majority of my friendships and relationships, was asked to leave the apartment I'd lived in for four years, and had to quit my job all because of my drinking. It's still a rough ride dealing with the shame and guilt that comes with those memories. But you couldn't pay me a million euro right now to drink on them. I feel more positive about life than I have in a long time.
Well done sir. That's the great thing about hitting rock bottom. Life becomes a yazz song...0 -
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