Haven't touched a drop in...

ASoberThought

Happy Christmas to all.

The day has arrived and it's been relaxing on the build up and I expect today will be the same. I feel as if I've been living in a parallel universe at times when I hear the drunken stories of others. My parallel universe is a comfortable one with no drama and I still got out to see people over coffee.

The difference a year can make. This time last year, I was horizontal , alone in a foreign country, taking antabuse and trying to use every ounce of strength I had to not go out and buy crack, heroin or cocaine. Now I'm relaxed, fit, healthy and about to spend the day eating nice food with people that care about me. Although this year is a first Christmas after a significant loss in the family, how wonderful it is to be there for other people and take part in life.

If you're in a dark place and considering stopping, please give it an honest effort and some patience. Life really is much better without it. The greatest delusion is that alcohol and drugs add value to our lives.

Cork Lass

ASoberThought wrote: »

Happy Christmas to all.

The day has arrived and it's been relaxing on the build up and I expect today will be the same. I feel as if I've been living in a parallel universe at times when I hear the drunken stories of others. My parallel universe is a comfortable one with no drama and I still got out to see people over coffee.

The difference a year can make. This time last year, I was horizontal , alone in a foreign country, taking antabuse and trying to use every ounce of strength I had to not go out and buy crack, heroin or cocaine. Now I'm relaxed, fit, healthy and about to spend the day eating nice food with people who care about me. Although this year is a first Christmas after a significant loss in the family, how wonderful it is to be there for other people and take part in life.

If you're in a dark place and considering stopping, please give it an honest effort and some patience. Life really is much better without it. The greatest delusion is that alcohol and drugs add value to our lives.

What a lovely post. Best of luck to you for today and the future.

ASoberThought

Cork Lass wrote: »

What a lovely post. Best of luck to you for today and the future.

Thank you and best of luck to you too.

marienbad

ASoberThought wrote: »

Happy Christmas to all.


If you're in a dark place and considering stopping, please give it an honest effort and some patience. Life really is much better without it. The greatest delusion is that alcohol and drugs add value to our lives.

A great message ASoberThought , congratulations on your well earned success ,

bikubesong

Merry Christmas to all here! ASoberThought, wonderful to read your post and well done on getting to where you are.

97 days sober for me.

Bonniedog

Just back from day with in laws. Was only adult not drinking and had 4/5 non alcoholic beers, which actually taste nice. Only started to feel uncomfortable near end when a couple of them were pi££ed, but harmless sort of pissed.

Still, there is no way I'd have been able to do that a year ago, or even six months ago. Temptation would have been too great but I promised myself the last time I ended up in the horrors, in bits, that I would never let myself get into that state again.

Of course that is no guarantee that I won't but the longer it goes on, the better chance you have of making it.

Best wishes and good luck to all, especially those who are not in a good place.

It is not how many times you fall down, but how many times you get up... and so on.

The flying mouse

How you get on yesterday folks ?

I had a lovely Christmas day, I was in my mothers house all morning with my very big family, They were all drinking & eating but it was a good atmosphere, We all went to my sisters for Christmas dinner, lots of us, I had got a plan to escape asap just after dinner, as most of my family would be heavy drinkers.

It turned out to be a very good and funny and quite enjoyable night, got a bit loud but it was grand and I delighted I stayed as I could actually talk to family members who I don't usually see or talk to very much.

Its great waking up with a clear sober head,I have a you tube story about motivation on and I buzzing on with that, Have a great day everyone, were getting there.

scriba

87 days. Christmas has gone well. Many offers of alcohol at many different events (3 Xmas dinner parties, 2 Xmas weddings, and a partridge in ...) all politely and firmly declined. I haven't made any declaration of my status regarding never drinking alcohol again to other people yet. I'm happy to say "I'm not drinking today" each and every day so far, and that's enough for me at the moment. It's odd, I feel like I might need to say something at some point to my family, but I don't feel quite ready yet. I'm unsure why that is, but I'll try figure it out over the next few weeks. I'm clearly afraid of something!

Anyway, the days add up and I feel happier and more in control of my life. The increasing total is nice and reassuring, but pretty irrelevant in the grand scheme of things. The only day that matters right now is today. And today was a good day.

Happy Christmas everyone!

tinpib

scriba wrote: »

It's odd, I feel like I might need to say something at some point to my family, but I don't feel quite ready yet. I'm unsure why that is, but I'll try figure it out over the next few weeks. I'm clearly afraid of something!

Not at all, sounds perfectly reasonable and normal to me. You continue to do what works for you and do things at a time they feel right for you.

The flying mouse

tinpib wrote: »

Not at all, sounds perfectly reasonable and normal to me. You continue to do what works for you and do things at a time they feel right for you.

That's it in a nutshell, You do what ever works for you.

ASoberThought

The flying mouse wrote: »

How you get on yesterday folks ?

I had a lovely Christmas day, I was in my mothers house all morning with my very big family, They were all drinking & eating but it was a good atmosphere, We all went to my sisters for Christmas dinner, lots of us, I had got a plan to escape asap just after dinner, as most of my family would be heavy drinkers.

It turned out to be a very good and funny and quite enjoyable night, got a bit loud but it was grand and I delighted I stayed as I could actually talk to family members who I don't usually see or talk to very much.

Its great waking up with a clear sober head,I have a you tube story about motivation on and I buzzing on with that, Have a great day everyone, were getting there.

Glad you had a nice day FM. Seems like you really got the best out of the day and reaped the benefits the following morning.

My day turned out really well. On the approach to the day I had re-framed it in my mind as a carvery with family dropping up. This helped me a lot with the approach to the day and when it finally arrived, it was all go preparing, eating, talking, swapping presents, playing with kids but was absolutely knackered waking up the next day. However, the head was clear and managed to shake off the tiredness a couple of hours after waking.

I hope the rest of the week goes well for all of you.

The flying mouse

As I read through threads on this forum, I often am reminded of the “dry drunk syndrome”, but I’m not totally convinced about the actual meaning. I realize that if we aren’t happy about our recovery, we’ll probably relapse. If we can’t honestly accept the fact that we can never drink again, we’ll probably relapse. If we keep thinking about how much we miss drinking, or wish we could drink, we’ll probably relapse. And if we carry anger and resentment about not being able to drink, we’ll probably relapse. So how do we come to terms with this? How do we deal with those issues?

I think that answer will be a bit different for everyone, but the one key factor will be honestly accepting the fact that you can never drink again. Once you’ve accepted that, sobriety makes sense. It is the only way for us, the only way to truly become the person we know we can be. The only way we’ll be able to let go of the anger and resentment that many of us feel in the initial stages of recovery.

And once we get there, the weight of quitting is lifted from our shoulders, and when that happens, we can plan our future with optimism. Knowing we can get through any problems that life throws at us each day. A new year is just around the corner, full of opportunities and surprises. Treat each day as a new page, each month as a new chapter, and be the author of the life you want to live….

A new year coming up & a New life ?

Kunkka

One of the phrases I hated the most when I entered recovery was one day at a time. 5 years later and I live by that. Saying I won't drink again for the rest of my life is too long a time, but I can do it a lot easier if I approach it in bite-size pieces one day at a time. A dry drunk for me is someone who has got "sober" but has not done any work afterward. Meaning, addressed the things in their life that brought them to this stage when they couldn't live with or without alcohol. That's why in most recovery programs steps 1-3 are the preparation, 4-9 are work and 10-12 are maintenance. There had to be something fundamentally out of sync for us to get to the stage when we are a slave to alcohol, take away the alcohol and you still have those triggers but no sedative.

marienbad

A dry drunk for me is when we have stopped drinking but it still dominates our lives . We hang on each day and are relieved just when we get through it.

Unless we take on the reasons why we drink we are forever condemned to live dominated by those reasons .

Bonniedog

marienbad wrote: »

A dry drunk for me is when we have stopped drinking but it still dominates our lives . We hang on each day and are relieved just when we get through it.

Unless we take on the reasons why we drink we are forever condemned to live dominated by those reasons .

I don't like the notion that a person can never escape being threatened by alcohol. It assumes that we don't have real control over our lives.

Now obviously, there are people like myself who cannot drink sensibly and it took me a long time and several failures to realise that for certain but I don't intend to let "not drinking" dominate the rest of life the way drinking used to.

Personally speaking once I was over the initial horrors of withdrawals I had no craving for alcohol. What made me go back was the stupid idea that I could have a "few pints" and carry on as normal.

I learned the hard way that I can't but drink holds no attraction for me now. At the end of my drinking i was drinking to help me function, not because I enjoyed it. It is a huge monkey off my back.

That is not to say that some future stupidity might not make me go back but the longer it goes on the more confident I am that won't happen.

The flying mouse

I started thinking about the New Years Eves of long ago, I always went to the local pubs. I’d drink of course, but not out of control back then, but enough.

As the years went by the drinking increased of course till I was more drunk than sober by the time midnight rolled around, good old days eh! Then i just finally quit going out, it was easier for all concerned than trying to get me to not have so many drinks, and it was easier for me to get as drunk as I wanted in the comfort of my own home, and a lot cheaper!

Great reasons to stay home and drink! Crazy how the mind of a drunk works!

Now, i stay at home for a different reason. I like the quiet time and going to bed early, sober. I probably come on here & have a browse, chk into after hours to get a laugh, well most times I do. And I’ll be sleeping comfortably in bed when the New Year rolls around….. what you all up to ?

ASoberThought

Looking forward to dinner, movie and an early night tonight. I'll be out in the mountains meeting the sun rise tomorrow. This is a much more positive way to greet the new Year for me.

lindtee

Ten years sober. So much in my life has changed in that time. Some changes took a lot longer than others and things are sometimes hard but in general life is good. Amongst many other good things that happened this year, drove a brand new car out of a garage forecourt (never, ever thought I would!!) Got my permanency at work, doing a very rewarding job, and am with my partner over a year now.

I hope that everyone here has a good 2017, I feel for me its going to be a good one. There are a lot more dreams I have still to achieve and I will try my best to achieve them all!!

realdanbreen

marienbad wrote: »

A dry drunk for me is when we have stopped drinking but it still dominates our lives . We hang on each day and are relieved just when we get through it.

Unless we take on the reasons why we drink we are forever condemned to live dominated by those reasons .

'dry drunk' is probably the one expression that pisses me off most. Stopping drinking and staying stopped was and is my priority. Hearing the non drinking zealots banging on about dry drunks wrecked my head. Anyway a happy new year to all.

marienbad

Have a great 2017 everyone , another year passes just a day at a time

eamor

Happy new year to you all. I am 95 days sober today & feeling good.I'm Still mad, but I'm actively working on that a day at a time. thank you to everyone here that reached out in some way. Its fantastic to have 'online' peers/friends/fellows that 'get' this.....To 2017, I say bring it.....😉

petes

Hi all

328 days sober

Still read the thread every day and fair play to all, sober people and people who are struggling!

Keeping active but stilll have the demons in my head. Fortunately it's extremely rare that I think of drinking but I still do from time to time

Changed anti depressants a couple of days ago and see how that goes, if not its a referral to a psychiatrist, don't think I need that though but I'll do whatever I'm told ha.

Kind of makes me wonder, thinking I was always like that and like most drink was my escape to make me feel better but as most of you know I was physically and emotionally addicted at the end.

All in all I feel better but that's mostly down to xanax and anti depressants but I'll do whatever it takes not to lift another drink

Here's to another year and alway I'm still here if anyone has anything questions

Happy new year peeps!

Glen_Quagmire

Litteraly made a pig of myself over the Christmas, I've been drinking every day for the last 11 days, usually I only drink Friday and Saturday. Anyway, I doubt I'll ever have it in me to quit altogether, so much of my life seems to evolve around the stuff. I went to a birthday party over the Christmas and had to drive so couldn't have a drink and it was a long few hours being there so I don't know how I could do that full time but others seem fine with it.

Anyway, I'm going to try do a "dry January" it'll be tough but I'll try my best and see how I go from there.

Happy new year All

eamor

Glen_Quagmire wrote: »

Litteraly made a pig of myself over the Christmas, I've been drinking every day for the last 11 days, usually I only drink Friday and Saturday. Anyway, I doubt I'll ever have it in me to quit altogether, so much of my life seems to evolve around the stuff. I went to a birthday party over the Christmas and had to drive so couldn't have a drink and it was a long few hours being there so I don't know how I could do that full time but others seem fine with it.

Anyway, I'm going to try do a "dry January" it'll be tough but I'll try my best and see how I go from there.

Happy new year All

Just a quick response to say welcome & hang in there. Take a breath & just for the next few hours, don't drink. Tomorrow will look after itself.

tinpib

Glen_Quagmire wrote: »

Anyway, I doubt I'll ever have it in me to quit altogether, so much of my life seems to evolve around the stuff.

Hi Glen.

You sound like I did a few years ago, I even posted about it here. I'm 367 days sober now on my fourth attempt. The first 3 attempts were all for 4.5 months and all very similar. This time something just 'clicked'. Barely tempted at all in that time, although it's not like everything suddenly was perfect.

But I realised that there was nothing positive whatsoever in my life from drinking and also what hit home was the colossal waste of time the Thurs-Sat drinking and Sun-Tues recovery was. I wasn't achieving anything.

Dry January is a good target, but the cliche is true, take it 1 day at a time. Good luck with it.

The flying mouse

Believe it or not :-) I tend to try and keep my life as uncluttered as possible. I’ve learned to do that with my thoughts as well, keep my mind uncluttered and deal with thoughts one at a time.

I’ll bet when the shops open tomorrow the staff will be busy putting away “everything Christmas” and putting up “everything Valentines” . Funny how the stores go from one holiday to the next, profit and loss are all that matter.

When I was drinking, the holidays meant extra drinking, if that was possible for me , not sure how much “extra” I could fit in a day! But it seemed that every holiday, every long weekend, made it acceptable for anyone and everyone to drink that extra little bit.

I’m sure there were many recovering alcoholics/abusive drinkers etc that didn’t make it through this holiday season, easily convincing themselves that “to heck with it, I’ll really get serious about this quitting thing in the New Year, I’m going to enjoy myself one last time!” Then yesterday or today, they look at what they did, what they lost, to have that “one more time, one last drink”. And just around the corner is Valentine’s Day, “well, a glass of wine to share with the love of my life won’t hurt”.

But it will, it’ll erase what you’ve accomplished. Then there’s Easter, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, weddings, anniversaries, birthdays, long weekends, hoildays time, and the list goes on. It’s really just a list of excuses, and any excuse to drink is good enough for an alcoholic. And if there isn’t a handy excuse, we’ll just make one up!

So folks if you’re starting this year with a commitment to quitting for good, just like I did many Years ago,You better start planning for all those excuses to pop up, even the ones you make up.

Get a plan in place, get your support mechanisms in order, get a few sober friends that you can get immediate help from when it seems like drinking is the only answer.

And next year on January 2, 2018 you’ll be celebrating a whole year sober, proving to yourself and others that it can be done….

Kunkka

Happy New Year all.

May it be filled with peace.

Laeot

293 days ...

One year is on the horizon 😀

ASoberThought

The power of meetings never fail to surprise me. At worse I get out of my own head for an hour and at best I am completely uplifted and re-energized, educated and humbled.

I attend all sorts of meetings...AA,NA,CA and LifeRing. I do the first 3 for gratittude and apply bits of the program but don't work the program with a sponsor and I share what works for me in lifeRing on this fulfilling journey of sobriety. I've incredible amounts of gratitude to have the ability to attend all of these and take part in them.

I hope you're all doing well.

eamor

Into day 101. The gift that keeps on giving.

E.