Trying NOT to get pregnant

Ayla

Mods, not sure if this is the right forum, but one topic I think gets missed a lot is how to avoid pregnancy - and how to ultimately ensure pregnancy is not an option (through sterilisation, etc).

This almost seems a insensitive topic on this forum where everyone's clearly trying to have children, but what about a discussion for those who decide - for whatever reason - that they're not wanting to get pregnant? Is this where various contraceptive/sterilisation options could be discussed?

Grawns

One for the ladies lounge maybe?

Ayla

Why? Surely contraception is an issue for men and women alike?

Sundew

Ladies Lounge or Personal Issues!!!!
Trying to Concieve is a completely different matter to contraception!

Ayla

Yes, agreed. I think that much is obvious. However it is the other side of the same coin, and I don't think contraception need be relegated to another "non-parent" related forum.

January

Moved this here, if the mods think there's a more appropriate forum then please move it there.

Ayla

Boo to whatever mod moved this thread to Ladies Lounge - as if men have nothing to contribute.:rolleyes:

Stheno

Ayla,

If you check the top of the forum here , there is a large thread discussing women's health issues, including contraception.

Also a search through tLL for threads on sterilisation/tubal ligation will bring up several results.

Also if this is your first time posting in tLL you should read the charter for the forum.

Thanks

Ayla

Ayla wrote: »

Mods, not sure if this is the right forum, but one topic I think gets missed a lot is how to avoid pregnancy - and how to ultimately ensure pregnancy is not an option (through sterilisation, etc).

This almost seems a insensitive topic on this forum where everyone's clearly trying to have children, but what about a discussion for those who decide - for whatever reason - that they're not wanting to get pregnant? Is this where various contraceptive/sterilisation options could be discussed?

Why would Parenting be the suitable place to discuss not wanting to have children? It's almost akin to going to the bereavement forum and discussing how much you like living, or the Personal Issues forum and discussing how happy you are.

January

It was me who moved the thread Ayla. The trying to conceive forum is not the place to discuss contraception. Men are perfectly able to visit The Ladies Lounge and contribute if they feel the need to, there are several regular male contributers to this forum.

Ayla

Stheno wrote: »

Ayla,

If you check the top of the forum here , there is a large thread discussing women's health issues, including contraception.

Also a search through tLL for threads on sterilisation/tubal ligation will bring up several results.

Also if this is your first time posting in tLL you should read the charter for the forum.

Thanks

I think the point's being missed...I started this thread in parenting b/c many men and women post there to discuss all facets of getting & being pregnant, and raising children. It seems the reasonable place, then, for people to also discuss how to "finish" their child-bearing. In fact, over the years, there have been many discussions over how you know when you're done.

I really don't think tLL is the best place for this thread. Just as men get on the parenting forum & talk about how they're affected when their partner miscarries, or their own experiences when they're raising their children, they would also have something to add to the discussion of being done with child-bearing.

Contraception is not just a woman's issue anymore. It is not always the best option for a couple, and only taking women's points of view on this topic is missing a vital part of the debate.

Ayla

January wrote: »

It was me who moved the thread Ayla. The trying to conceive forum is not the place to discuss contraception.

I can see your point. So why not move it to the general parenting forum?

Ayla

Ayla wrote: »

I think the point's being missed...I started this thread in parenting b/c many men and women post there to discuss all facets of getting & being pregnant, and raising children. It seems the reasonable place, then, for people to also discuss how to "finish" their child-bearing. In fact, over the years, there have been many discussions over how you know when you're done.

I really don't think tLL is the best place for this thread. Just as men get on the parenting forum & talk about how they're affected when their partner miscarries, or their own experiences when they're raising their children, they would also have something to add to the discussion of being done with child-bearing.

Contraception is not just a woman's issue anymore. It is not always the best option for a couple, and only taking women's points of view on this topic is missing a vital part of the debate.

OP, if you want to discuss a specific mod's actions, you should either discuss it with them via PM or by going to the Feedback forum here.

January

Ayla wrote: »

I can see your point. So why not move it to the general parenting forum?

Good point, never thought of that. If one of tLL mods would like to move it back to the main Parenting forum then that would be fine.

Unrealistic

January wrote: »

It was me who moved the thread Ayla. The trying to conceive forum is not the place to discuss contraception. Men are perfectly able to visit The Ladies Lounge and contribute if they feel the need to, there are several regular male contributers to this forum.

Maybe I'm mistaken but do men not have to post their photos to contribute in this forum? Not something I want to do.

This is an issue relevant to parenting as well. I'm coming at it as a father of three. Number three was born late last year and my partner and I have decided we've reached our quota and are currently examining the preventative options and having a difficult time making up our minds.

Silverfish

Unrealistic wrote: »

Maybe I'm mistaken but do men not have to post their photos to contribute in this forum? Not something I want to do.

No, they do not.



Thread moved back to Parenting from tLL.

Permabear

This post has been deleted.

Ayla

Thanks for moving this thread back to where I should have started it to begin with...oops, sorry. Darn baby brain

Anyway, my hubby & I have 2 kids (aged 4 & 16 months) & have decided we're done. We're just starting the process of getting a referral for a vascetomy (after having to fight the GP for it). Anyone else been down this road? Any idea how long the public system will take from referral to procedure?

mariaf24

I have no experience of it but i was atually reading about it on another parenting website only yesterday (sorry boardsies ). People were saying that consultants are very reluctant to perform the procedure on couples under 37-40 as a number of people request a reversal a few years down the line. As far as i could see you REALLY have to push for it.
They will really quiz you and present you with situations such as
- Your partner and you separate, would you want to have kids with someone else?
- Something happening to your children (God forbid)
But i think the main issue is age, anything like 20's and early 30's and you would have a difficult time convincing a doctor.
Ok forgive me for sounding stupid but how do you know when you're done? I am expecting my second child and we have no plans then for any more but i wouldnt like the choice to be taken away from me either. There are many methods of long term contraception available which i would definitely consider

Ayla

mariaf24 wrote: »

As far as i could see you REALLY have to push for it...But i think the main issue is age, anything like 20's and early 30's and you would have a difficult time convincing a doctor.

Exactly what me & my hubby experienced. I'm 31 & he's 26, and the med profession came at us with all sorts of guilt over the "what if" scenarios. We finally had to put our feet down & explain that we can't plan for what *might* happen, but instead have to make our decision based on what's right for us at this point in our lives. No one questioned us when we decided to have kids (i.e.: is it really a good idea? what happens *if* we seperate and/or die in the future?). So I actually felt insulted that they'd question us when we're mature enough to decide *not* to have kids.
Finally, when we convinced them this was not a spur-of-the-moment rash decision, and that we had both decided any future children of ours would be by adoption anyway, we got the referral for a snip.

mariaf24 wrote: »

There are many methods of long term contraception available which i would definitely consider

Unfortunately, the options which I think you're referring to are either (1) oral pill, (2) injection, (3) coil, (4) barrier (condom) or (5) sterilisation (male or female). Me personally, I don't like the idea of being on the pill for the next 20 years, so that rules out (1). The injection should only be done once or twice, so that's only a 6 yr fix at most. Option (3) didn't suit me at all and had to be removed surgically. And, hey, let's face it, condoms work for some couples, but they've never really flown for others. Not 100% guaranteed fix anyway. So that only leaves sterilisation.

Unrealistic

Silverfish wrote: »

No, they do not.



Thread moved back to Parenting from tLL.

My apologies. I realise now I misread this post and got the wrong end of the stick.
http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=58150478&postcount=3

mariaf24

I suppose the med profession have to make sure that you are 100% sure this is what you want. Im glad they are being so careful to be honest, as it is a decision that you will live with for the rest of your life. And as it has been said before, many people later request reversals, particularly men who enter new relationships/marriages.
Well i have to agree about contraception to be honest because all hell broke loose with my gums and teeth when i discontinued the contraceptive p*tch after a few years on it
Anyway i hope you won't be waiting too long

Stheno

Ayla wrote: »

Unfortunately, the options which I think you're referring to are either (1) oral pill, (2) injection, (3) coil, (4) barrier (condom) or (5) sterilisation (male or female). Me personally, I don't like the idea of being on the pill for the next 20 years, so that rules out (1). The injection should only be done once or twice, so that's only a 6 yr fix at most. Option (3) didn't suit me at all and had to be removed surgically. . So that only leaves sterilisation.

The injection (depoprovera) is given every 12 weeks and there is not a limit as to how long you can be on it, if you are on it long term then it's recommended to get a bone density scan to ensure it is not causing any bone density issues.

The implant is every three years, again I don't believe that you can only have it twice. Then you've got the Mirena, an IUS that lasts for five years, and there is also a contraceptive patch available now that you wear for a week at a time, replace each week etc.

There is a few threads in The Gentlemens Club which discuss wait times, cost, different doctors, etc for vasectomy.

Good luck

Ayla

Stheno wrote: »

There is a few threads in The Gentlemens Club which discuss wait times, cost, different doctors, etc for vasectomy.

Thanks for this, I'll take a look at it later.

All the patches & injections you mentioned are systemic methods which basically inject hormones & chemicals throughout the entire body. Whether or not that can have any serious implications over long-term usage is debatable, but something I personally would rather avoid.

That's is one advantage of the Mirena IUS coil (in that the coil only acts on the lining of the womb & doesn't affect the rest of the system). Unfortunately the coil didn't work in my case & it's been decided that I shouldn't try it again.

cbyrd

Well, this is one myself and my husband have been discussing for a few years, and like a poster after 2 i felt i was done but didn't want to make it permanent. A few years later i got broody again and number 3 came along, we decided after him that we were done. The only option left for us really, is vasectomy for my husband, less invasive for him than me.

I've tried the pill, the injection, the coil, the mirena coil and the pill again... my GP has come to the conclusion that i'm not suitable for hormone contraception and the copper coil was fine for about a year then started causing massive problems with pain and bleeding.

So.... big surprise... number four is due in september and he's definitely going for the snip. At 33 they'll be asking a lot of questions but none that we haven't asked ourselves already such as divorce or death... it was one of the reasons i was reluctant to let him go for the snip...
My gp actually gave me all the info and told me after number 3 was born that we wouldn't have any problems with him going for the snip once i gave my consent. He was 32 at the time..
I'm definitely done now... for sure

Das Kitty

Vasectomy will be our choice when we're done with kids. That's what I'm being told at the moment anyway, we'll see when the time comes!

Stheno

I'm 37, have no kids, and been with the same gynae for the past three years for contraceptive care.

Knowing my history she has no problem referring me for a tubal ligation should I choose that route.

The right doctor/consultant makes a huge difference in these cases imo.