Someone taking your baby name - would you be mad?

sallysaucer101

I know a girl we was expecting a baby boy and picked the name Max for him then about a month before the baby was born her mam got a new dog and guess what she called it....yep Max!!

The friend still called the boy Max but if that was me I would have been livid!!

amdublin

Whether I mind or not they have every right to call their child "my" name.

Btw it is not actually "my" name ie. I don't own it. Unfortunately it is impossible to monopolize a name and dictate to others they cannot use it.

That's life.

If you don't want people using "your" name then keep it to yourself.

Up-n-atom!

I think not telling friends is the best option...if they ask you can mention one or two names that you like but maybe not the particular ones you have your heart set on. I've only ever told one friend the names that I like, and both of us are unlikely to get preggers soon so it's not an issue. She doesn't like the boy's name I like, Naoise, because she says it sounds like a girl. Her girl's name is Elianna and I know she'd kill me if I ever used it (and I wouldn't because I don't like it that much). I think you would be a bit p'ed off if it was an unusual name that no one else was using, but if it's one of the more common names, like Jack, Emily, Ella, Conor, etc then it's harder to claim it.

Up-n-atom!

Up-n-atom! wrote: »

I think not telling friends is the best option...if they ask you can mention one or two names that you like but maybe not the particular ones you have your heart set on. I've only ever told one friend the names that I like, and both of us are unlikely to get preggers soon so it's not an issue. She doesn't like the boy's name I like, Naoise, because she says it sounds like a girl. .

Yeah my friend is called Nisha

Novella

I genuinely wouldn't care. I can't claim ownership on a name just because I like it. No matter what name I have in my head to call a baby, there are gonna be other people with the same name. It makes no difference whether I know them personally.

I can't actually believe people worry about this, or get annoyed about it. Having a new baby is so much of a bigger deal than, "Oh no, X named her baby the same as I wanna name mine". I'd be so delighted, I probably wouldn't care if every other woman named her child after mine.

Chinafoot

sashafierce wrote: »

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While not wanting to assume how old you are, I reckon when you get to the stage where you are having a baby things like "ohnoes they'll think I'm a copycat" won't even enter your head...at least I hope not!

Anyone who thinks you're copying them is being ridiculous. I'm sure Stephanie Zimbalist's parents were just fuming when my parents named me :rolleyes:

booboo88

Up-n-atom! wrote: »

I think not telling friends is the best option...if they ask you can mention one or two names that you like but maybe not the particular ones you have your heart set on. I've only ever told one friend the names that I like, and both of us are unlikely to get preggers soon so it's not an issue. She doesn't like the boy's name I like, Naoise, because she says it sounds like a girl. .

I remember my ex worked wit a guy called naoise, i could never pronounce it so i always called him nasa....ooops

metrovelvet

I would not give a toss. I have about 300,000 other things to be mad about.

But I did have an ex boyfriend who later had a baby and gave the baby the same name as my own which I found very odd.

pow wow

metrovelvet wrote: »

But I did have an ex boyfriend who later had a baby and gave the baby the same name as my own which I found very odd.

How flattering

sashafierce

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sashafierce

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The Lovely Muffin

sashafierce wrote: »

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Nee-sha.

Chinafoot

sashafierce wrote: »

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Because, with all due respect, it is a silly thing to be thinking of and to me it seems very childish. As someone else said, this isn't a copyright issue. Nobody has any right to a name over anyone else.

I went to secondary school with 4 Sarahs, 2 Janes, 3 Anns, 4 Orlas and 2 Lisas. Names are names. Unless you invent one, chances are someone else will have it.

sashafierce

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God help any child named Noah.

Chinafoot

sashafierce wrote: »

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Yeah I know what you were asking and the same principle applies as far as I'm concerned. Liking a baby name doesn't make it yours. Anyone can pick any name they like for a child and to get annoyed over someone "copying" what you deem to be your name is silly, in my opinion.

If I liked a name for my child, the fact that a friend also liked it or had already used it would definitely not stop me using it. Anyone who would class me as a "copycat" for doing so needs to a get a grip and grow up tbh.

sashafierce

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ToniTuddle

When my niece was born my boss daughter who was just about to give birth any day asked me what name my niece had been given.....I told her and she called her kid that too!

Same girls cousin who was also pregnant was in and asked me about my exs new baby and I told her the name and she went and called her kid that!

Must run in their family :pac:

If I had my heart set on a name for a long time and friends knew and they went and called their kid that, then yes I would be annoyed. If all your kids end up going to same school it gonna be annoying having good few odd names in the one class

Only solution is...never tell yer friends or folks what ye will call yer kid until the day the thing pops out!

Wibbs

OK lets dial back some of the comments please. We're all friends here

timmythesheep

sashafierce wrote: »

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Get a grip. If that is all you have to worry about you obviously have an easy life

Toto Wolfcastle

I don't think it matters tbh. I have a cousin with the same name as me. Doesn't bother me.

Anyway, in my job I see kids with the same name who grew up near each other and are in the same class all the time.

Wibbs

timmythesheep did you not read the suggestion to dial it back just before your last post? Chill. "Get a grip" isnt being chilled.

sashafierce

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Toto Wolfcastle

sashafierce wrote: »

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Have you ever considered that the other person might have spent their life hoping for a child with that name?

sashafierce

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Ms2011

If I have a boy I will be calling him after my Dad, I have a personal reason for choosing that name so if someone else were to name their child that it wouldn't matter to me as there would be more meaning to me than just liking that name.

Giselle

People can't 'take' something you don't own.

I wouldn't care if someone else used a baby name I liked, unless it was immediate family, then I'd be a bit peeved.

And then I'd find another name I liked and not give it another thought.

Chinafoot

sashafierce wrote: »

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You have said multiple times that you dont intend to have children so why would I be saying you yourself have claimed to own a name? I didn't. We're talking generally remember? Your thread title however states "someone taking your baby name - would you be mad". My point is that nobody can lay claim to a name unless they have created something completely unique. Your cinema comparison is hardly relevant now is it?

sashafierce wrote: »

Ive friends with the same name as me, i know someone with the same first and surname as me, doesnt bother me. find it funny actually. I think it would bother anyone if it happened them tho where all their lives they wanted a kid called "whatever" and next thing they had a nephew called it!

I have always loved the name Éabha. My cousin had a baby last year and named her Éabha. Does it bother me? Of course not. My cousin obviously likes the name too. I have no rights to that name and neither does my cousin. If I have a girl someday and decide the name suits her then thats what I'll call her. Why wouldn't I?

sashafierce

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Toto Wolfcastle

sashafierce wrote: »

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That doesn't answer my question though. You said it would bother anyone if someone used the name they had wanted all their lives. What if the other person wanted it all their lives too? Would it still be a problem?

sashafierce

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Chinafoot

sashafierce wrote: »

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Tbh sashafierce, you're being a bit too literal yourself here. The reason myself and others are referring to ownership is because to get annoyed over something like this would only make sense if there was ownership. As nobody can own a name, nobody has any rights to a specific name and therefore can't really get annoyed if someone else uses it.

sashafierce

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Chinafoot

sashafierce wrote: »

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:rolleyes:

And I'm only answering your question. Since its clearly not an actual discussion you're after, I'm out.

Dolbert

If a friend got annoyed at me for naming my baby her special chosen name for her as yet non-existent kids, I'd tell her to cop on to herself tbh. I'd never entertain that kind of immature drama queen rubbish.

'Dibs' :rolleyes:

ToniTuddle

Bobblehead Panda wrote: »

Have you ever considered that the other person might have spent their life hoping for a child with that name?

Well sure after you say the name you have choosen wouldn't they turn around and say "jaaaaaaaaaysus sure that's the name I've always wanted to call mine too!:eek:"

That would be no problem.

But if ye were one of those women who had their kids names picked from they were like 12yrs old and their best friend or sister knew this all down the years and many discussions were had over the years about it.... then they go and use those names.....that's a bit feicing annoying in fairness!

sashafierce

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ToniTuddle

sashafierce wrote: »

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Yup!


Plus another thing if you had your heart set on this name maybe from only the start of your prgenancy and you told few folks(maybe some also pregnant ahead of you) and one of them went and named their kid it....well then you have to start the whole process of trying to find another name! Feicin annoying.

Everyone wants to give their kid a nice name that they feel would suit them and maybe be that slight bit different from all the other names going around.

My town alone there was a gigantic increase in the name Molly! Once one mother heard it a whole pile of them took it. Makes no sense to me them doing that If you know there is already a few babies with that name around then why... ....well maybe that's just me.

No offense but I wouldn't want to take the latest popular name going around the whole area. If I ever had kids I'd like them to have unique enough names(nothing fancy but ya know what I mean) and most definitely names that ye can't shorten down eg Bridget ---becomes---->Biddy :pac:

sashafierce

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Morag

Having had two kids and having picked out names in advance, there comes a time when you hold your newborn and look at them and the name you had picked just does not suit them. So there you are not long after giving birth, hormoanes all over the place, the baby bonding drugs being given off by the baby effecting you, exhausted, with in some cases all manner of drugs in your system and sleep deprived and all your plans go out the window cos the child you now hold does not look like what you imagined and your addled brain picks something else, which then is told to all the family and friends who come visit and is put on the pre registration forms which are sent to the office of birth, deaths and marriages.

Really in that state do you think a new mother gives a flying fúck or can remember that their 'friend' bagsied esp if it was years back?

Some kids like having 'name friends' esp if the are the same age and in the same class, like the 4 marys. It can make kids bond if the have the same first name.

amdublin

You don't "own" a name.

No matter how long you've liked it.
No matter if you've told a thousand people that yup like the name and are going to use the name.

You still don't own it.

If someone else uses the name, you're an adult, start acting like one and cop on.

ToniTuddle

Sharrow wrote: »

Having had two kids and having picked out names in advance, there comes a time when you hold your newborn and look at them and the name you had picked just does not suit them. So there you are not long after giving birth, hormoanes all over the place, the baby bonding drugs being given off by the baby effecting you, exhausted, with in some cases all manner of drugs in your system and sleep deprived and all your plans go out the window cos the child you now hold does not look like what you imagined and your addled brain picks something else, which then is told to all the family and friends who come visit and is put on the pre registration forms which are sent to the office of birth, deaths and marriages.

Really in that state do you think a new mother gives a flying fúck or can remember that their 'friend' bagsied esp if it was years back?

Oh come on, bit dramatic! :pac:

When my niece was named they couldn't think of a name for her even after she had been brought home from the friggin hospital! Ya know ya don't have to pick a name right then with yer placenta hanging out of ya :pac:

What sasha is talking about is what I mentioned just a few posts back...plain and simple.

amdublin wrote: »

No matter if you've told a thousand people that yup like the name and are going to use the name.

You still don't own it.

If someone else uses the name, you're an adult, start acting like one and cop on.

We aint talking about a thousand people. We are talking about your sister or best friend someone close to you or relatively quite close to you who knew ye liked that name and had your heart set on it and then they go and use it for their own.

And anyway feic acting like an adult all the time. We have a right to be annoyed if we want to or feel like it and sulk and have a bit of self pity whenever the hell we want.(EVERYONE goes through mini bouts at least a few times in their life!:p) Couple of hours or days and ye would be over it, so no harm done.

amdublin

ToniTuddle wrote: »

We aint talking about a thousand people. We are talking about your sister or best friend someone close to you or relatively quite close to you who knew ye liked that name and had your heart set on it and then they go and use it for their own

That's life.

What's the point in being silly and sulking?

CK2010

amdublin wrote: »

That's life.

What's the point in being silly and sulking?

cause its your brand new beautiful baby and you want the world for them even when you know you cant give it to them. aand a mother is allowed get a bit sulky when she cant!!
and that includes the perfect name that you've planned specially for them.

rationally you know that somebody else is going to have it but its still YOUR babys name (yes its not only hers but it is hers!) and some people cant help but get a little sulky if someone they know flippantly use it cause they cant come up with something better-im not referring to those who always liked the name, just those who hear it and then settle on it.

people cant help how they feel however rational or irrational, silly or immature it may be. theres no point in getting upset but some people do, and i personally dont think getting upset over something to do with your child is silly. yes there are more important things in life and its not the end of the world but sometimes things like that can get you a little peeved and you cant help it.

amdublin

CK2010 wrote: »

cause its your brand new beautiful baby and you want the world for them even when you know you cant give it to them. aand a mother is allowed get a bit sulky when she cant!!
and that includes the perfect name that you've planned specially for them.

rationally you know that somebody else is going to have it but its still YOUR babys name (yes its not only hers but it is hers!) and some people cant help but get a little sulky if someone they know flippantly use it cause they cant come up with something better-im not referring to those who always liked the name, just those who hear it and then settle on it.

people cant help how they feel however rational or irrational, silly or immature it may be. theres no point in getting upset but some people do, and i personally dont think getting upset over something to do with your child is silly. yes there are more important things in life and its not the end of the world but sometimes things like that can get you a little peeved and you cant help it.

Why bother wasting your energy stropping and sulking when you have a beautiful little baby with the name you always wanted. She or he is not any less special just because she or he shares her name.

shinikins

Just found out that my friend had her baby last night, and called him Benjamin, and name i've always loved and would be top choice if i ever had a little boy. I'm not put out though, i'm actually really pleased that she chose such a lovely name, and kind of flattered that she would choose the same as i would!! Its happened before with my eldest nephew too, again, i don't have any right to be put out-they got there first!

CK2010

amdublin wrote: »

Why bother wasting your energy stropping and sulking when you have a beautiful little baby with the name you always wanted. She or he is not any less special just because she or he shares her name.

its not wasting your energy though, being upset is something that you cant control. its a feeling not an action you choose.
yes, having a strop (which actually isnt what the OP asked about) is needlessly wasting energy but getting upset is a natural emotion.
some people seem to be automatically assuming that being upset or angry over something equates to having a strop. it doesnt.
a person i know chose the name i chose. i smiled and said 'thats great news'- nothing stroppy about that. cant help the fact that i was feeling a bit annoyed.

never said anything about it making a child less special. obviously it doesnt change how i feel about my child. its an issue with the person who chose the name after me that i feel slightly negatively towards, not my child, or theres for that matter.

ToniTuddle

amdublin wrote: »

That's life.

What's the point in being silly and sulking?

Because life sometimes involves being silly and being sulky or annoyed


CK has explained it quite better than me I think!

RoisinDove

Chinafoot wrote: »

Yeah I know what you were asking and the same principle applies as far as I'm concerned. Liking a baby name doesn't make it yours. Anyone can pick any name they like for a child and to get annoyed over someone "copying" what you deem to be your name is silly, in my opinion.

If I liked a name for my child, the fact that a friend also liked it or had already used it would definitely not stop me using it. Anyone who would class me as a "copycat" for doing so needs to a get a grip and grow up tbh.

I don't think that's fair. Sure, there are hundreds of Sarahs, Emilys, Annas, Grainnes etc, so I don't think many people would mind too much if someone else picked that name. But if you suggest a name (especially if it's quite unusual) and a friend uses it, having never previously considered it, then yes, I think that is quite mean.

Say I always liked the name 'Alexiana' (unusual name and spelling) and my best friend used it, well yes, she has clearly copied me and this will definitely put me off using it, because our kids will probably spend a lot of time together and it IS weird to have two Alexianas. It would be annoying (people constantly asking which one you were talking about, the kids answering when you weren't calling them). The reason you'd go for a 'different' name would be to try to stop that happening.

If a friend just happens to pick the same name, no problem. But it's fairly obvious when you put the idea in someone's head, and going ahead and using the name for themselves is pretty selfish, in my opinion. Sure, there's nothing 'wrong' with it but it's not very nice.

Chinafoot

RoisinDove wrote: »

I don't think that's fair. Sure, there are hundreds of Sarahs, Emilys, Annas, Grainnes etc, so I don't think many people would mind too much if someone else picked that name. But if you suggest a name (especially if it's quite unusual) and a friend uses it, having never previously considered it, then yes, I think that is quite mean.

Say I always liked the name 'Alexiana' (unusual name and spelling) and my best friend used it, well yes, she has clearly copied me and this will definitely put me off using it, because our kids will probably spend a lot of time together and it IS weird to have two Alexianas. It would be annoying (people constantly asking which one you were talking about, the kids answering when you weren't calling them). The reason you'd go for a 'different' name would be to try to stop that happening.

If a friend just happens to pick the same name, no problem. But it's fairly obvious when you put the idea in someone's head, and going ahead and using the name for themselves is pretty selfish, in my opinion. Sure, there's nothing 'wrong' with it but it's not very nice.

The point that the "thats so selfish" crowd seem to be missing is that during your child's life they will almost certainly encounter people with the same name as them. It doesn't matter if it's classmates, workmates or the child of your mother's best friend. The OP says she likes the name Noah. I went to school with 2 and have two work colleagues who have named their children that. Its not a big deal.

If you tell someone you like the name Alexiana (not that unusual btw, popular enough in Germany and Eastern Europe and I have registered a number of little girls in the libraries with that name) and they decide they really like that name too I don't see why they should be prevented from using it. You might deem them selfish for doing so but personally I think you would be far more selfish to throw a strop over your friend picking a name they want for their baby because you "had it first".