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Can't decide wether to get baby christened

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    #32
    wmpdd3
    Registered Users Posts: 9,624 ✭✭✭wmpdd3


    A friend has 2 kids in Belfast, she is really not religious but since they were born she decided they were going to the local Catholic school.

    So she baptised then, has them in Church every Sunday in the front row, makes sure she speaks to the priest and that he knows the boys.

    Its a sad state of affairs when things get that bad and even worse when the only reason people can think of to give their child to a faith is where they will be schooled.

    As I said before I fall into this category but I also see it as human right to have a school place for my daughter within a reasonable distance of my house.


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    #33
    hibride
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22 ✭hibride


    RRaff wrote: »
    I wouldn't, let your kid decide for himself when he is older! As for communion and confirmation just throw a party or do something special for him. That is what my folks did and I loved it. I also intend to do the same for my own children. :)

    I agree :)


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    #34
    hibride
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22 ✭hibride


    wmpdd3 wrote: »
    A friend has 2 kids in Belfast, she is really not religious but since they were born she decided they were going to the local Catholic school.

    So she baptised then, has them in Church every Sunday in the front row, makes sure she speaks to the priest and that he knows the boys.

    Its a sad state of affairs when things get that bad and even worse when the only reason people can think of to give their child to a faith is where they will be schooled.

    As I said before I fall into this category but I also see it as human right to have a school place for my daughter within a reasonable distance of my house.

    yeah, it's amazing! Some weeks ago we went to the nearest school, it seemed really nice, but they told us that if we didn't baptise our daughter she'll be last in the waiting list behind all baptised kids. And this is a public school, I still don't understand how this can be legal


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    #35
    Bottle_of_Smoke
    Registered Users Posts: 9,770 ✭✭✭Bottle_of_Smoke


    The roman catholic church has now changed its rules so that once baptised you can't leave.

    So once you go vatican you don't go back again. So I'd advise against it.


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    #36
    Dades
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 25,558 Mod ✭✭✭✭Dades


    hibride wrote: »
    yeah, it's amazing! Some weeks ago we went to the nearest school, it seemed really nice, but they told us that if we didn't baptise our daughter she'll be last in the waiting list behind all baptised kids. And this is a public school, I still don't understand how this can be legal
    Can you PM me the name of that school if you don't want to say where it is?
    Cheers - there's some big discussion of this problem elsewhere.


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    #37
    wmpdd3
    Registered Users Posts: 9,624 ✭✭✭wmpdd3


    Just found out my friend had war with her local school and board of management 8 years ago because her child wasn't baptised, she was advised to do it for the sake of the child!

    At the time there were many nationalities and religions n the school but she was singled out because her child was Irish.

    She has heard that the same school is looking at revising their admissions policy again in May, as it is oversubscribed. It is a catholic school.


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    #38
    Nevyn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,045 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    hibride wrote: »
    yeah, it's amazing! Some weeks ago we went to the nearest school, it seemed really nice, but they told us that if we didn't baptise our daughter she'll be last in the waiting list behind all baptised kids. And this is a public school, I still don't understand how this can be legal

    They have an opt out in the equality legislation, ask for a copy of their enrollement policy.

    http://www.citizensinformation.ie/en/education/primary_and_post_primary_education/going_to_primary_school/ownership_of_primary_schools.html


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    #39
    mohawk
    Registered Users Posts: 1,781 ✭✭✭mohawk


    It really depends where you live whether or not you can get an unbaptised child into a school. It is time the dept of education start taking this issue seriously as with the baby boom and an increase in demand for school places down the line this could become a huge issue.

    Chances are though a priest wont baptise a baby if the parents aren't catholic. They expect parents to bring child to mass etc.

    I haven't baptised my son and both my family and my sons dads family are still nagging me about it 'so he will fit in'. Supposedly I am being selfish refusing to go along with the status quo. Kids can be cruel but from I remember of school religion doesn't get you picked on. Wearing the wrong clothes, being shy or being bad a sport gets you teased in school.


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    #40
    hibride
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22 ✭hibride


    Hi Dades, no problem, the School is Belgrove Junior Girls School, and this is the aplication form http://www.belgrove.ie/latest%20enrolement%20pdf.pdf (please read below "Date of Birth")

    Hi Thaedydal, sorry but I'm not a native English speaker and I don't understand this --> "They have an opt out in the equality legislation" :confused:


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    #41
    hibride
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22 ✭hibride


    mohawk wrote: »
    It really depends where you live whether or not you can get an unbaptised child into a school. It is time the dept of education start taking this issue seriously as with the baby boom and an increase in demand for school places down the line this could become a huge issue.

    Right. We want to give our daughter freedom of choice. We want her to know about other religions and then, decide... or not! But because I want to give her this freedom, she may have to go to a far away school... this would mean that her school friends would live far away, etc


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    #42
    mohawk
    Registered Users Posts: 1,781 ✭✭✭mohawk


    hibride wrote: »
    Right. We want to give our daughter freedom of choice. We want her to know about other religions and then, decide... or not! But because I want to give her this freedom, she may have to go to a far away school... this would mean that her school friends would live far away, etc

    I agree with your approach 100%. To give you child a proper choice about their own religion they need all the facts about as many religions as possible, which they wont get in a catholic school. I live in south Dublin and the ET schools are massively oversubscribed so it might not be an option for me to send him to ET (fingers crossed for a new ET in Sandyford).


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    #43
    wmpdd3
    Registered Users Posts: 9,624 ✭✭✭wmpdd3


    it says aloot about the issue when the educate together schools are so massivly oversubscribed. i found out my 2 local catholic schools have enough capacity for the year my daughter will be going....as long as nothing changes!


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    #44
    hibride
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22 ✭hibride


    Fingers crossed for both of you!!

    Hope they open a new ET near here too. There's one some 15-20 minutes driving, but we are like a year "late" (everybody keeps telling us we should have inscribed the baby when she was born :eek: ), so we'll see what happens. We're talking about the school year 2014-15 !!


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    #45
    lynski
    Registered Users Posts: 1,585 ✭✭✭lynski


    Registered mine for ET school when son was 3/4mths and daughter was 2/3 mths. son starts in sept, we were fairly high up list.
    The school is in next town, so 15 mins away, but I am fairly confident my son will be well able to make friends there and locally through sports etc.
    I just do not want to have to spend tie from 5yrs of age telling him i agree with his teacher on maths, english, irish etc but dont agree with them on 'holy god' not a good message for a 5/6/7 yr old


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    #46
    Morag
    Registered Users Posts: 8,427 ✭✭✭Morag


    hibride wrote: »
    Hope they open a new ET near here too. There's one some 15-20 minutes driving, but we are like a year "late" (everybody keeps telling us we should have inscribed the baby when she was born :eek: ), so we'll see what happens. We're talking about the school year 2014-15 !!

    Startups are running in several places around the country and it takes parents to get invovled to get an ET school started.

    Here is the list of schools and the list of startup projects underway and how to look at getting a start up going.

    http://www.educatetogether.ie/et-experience/educate-together-locations-2/


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    #47
    Rosy Posy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,666 ✭✭✭Rosy Posy


    We didn't get our kids christened in the church. Mainly because a major part of the christening ceremony involves you standing up in front of a priest and promising to bring the child up in the catholic faith. We felt that it would be worse to stand in front of the alter and tell a blatant lie than upset the grannies and granda's. We did want something though and to have godparents, so we had 'anti-christenings' basically got close family and the godparents together somewhere, said a few words, gave them a gift and then went to the pub with all our mates and extended family and passed the baby around. It worked for us.


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    #48
    Days
    Registered Users Posts: 63 ✭✭Days


    I wouldn't if I were you! The church is less than perfect the only reason I did it was because it would have broken my mothers heart if I didn't!


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    #49
    Turbulent Bill
    Registered Users Posts: 1,628 ✭✭✭Turbulent Bill


    mohawk wrote: »
    It really depends where you live whether or not you can get an unbaptised child into a school. It is time the dept of education start taking this issue seriously as with the baby boom and an increase in demand for school places down the line this could become a huge issue.

    This is the crux of it. In many areas there is such demand for school places that parents don't have any choice in schools, with ET schools impossible to get into and Catholic schools already oversubscribed. I think there's a genuine risk that a non-baptised child could be bumped down the list in favour of a baptised one in a Catholic school.

    I'm in the same situation with my newborn, not religious and have no desire to get her baptised into a church that's treated children so shamefully (and continues to wash their hands of the scandal). However I'm worried about restricting or eliminating her possible school places by not baptising her, so I might just bite my lip and put up with it.


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    #50
    ktod
    Closed Accounts Posts: 65 ✭✭ktod


    We had a Naming Day for each of our kids instead. Lovely lovely lovely. Gathered friends and family, went down to the beach and then for a nice meal.

    No problems with getting into school, but you do have to ask them to absent the child from religion lessons.


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    #51
    common sense brigade
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 506 ✭✭✭common sense brigade


    If you send your child to a non denominational school he wont feel like he/she is missing out on communions etc. Problem might arise if you choose a catholic school and he/she feels left out. But even then when the other kids are making their communion you could plan a special family day out somewhere for your child.


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    #52
    wmpdd3
    Registered Users Posts: 9,624 ✭✭✭wmpdd3


    ktod wrote: »
    We had a Naming Day for each of our kids instead. Lovely lovely lovely. Gathered friends and family, went down to the beach and then for a nice meal.

    No problems with getting into school, but you do have to ask them to absent the child from religion lessons.


    Mind if I ask what you did for this day, I'm really considering this as I have an extra week off for mat leave. Any links or more information appreciated.


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    #53
    ktod
    Closed Accounts Posts: 65 ✭✭ktod


    wmpdd3 wrote: »
    Mind if I ask what you did for this day, I'm really considering this as I have an extra week off for mat leave. Any links or more information appreciated.

    No probs.

    For son #1, got the close family and a few friends around to the house. We all sat around in a circle and read out wishes that we had each written for him - you know, like 'may you always find joy in life', and so on. Then a close female friend of mine and a close male friend of my husband's took the baby and cuddled him, they are his 'Fairy Godmother' and 'Fairy Godfather'. Then myself and my husband said 'we name this child' and (seeing as he is a summer baby) we laid him outside on the grass for a couple of minutes (on a towel I might add!) Then photos out to a nice restaurant.

    With son #2, it was very similar, except that we actually had it on the beach (just across the road, and also a summer baby). We stood on the sand and joined hands, in a circle. This time we put his wishes into a stoppered bottle and threw it off the end of the pier into the sea. Had the Fairy Godfather and Fairy Godmother hold the baby, and we said what we named him, and then laid him on the sand for a couple of minutes (again on a towel!). Then photos and off to a nice restaurant.

    And that's about it really. Very heartfelt and relaxed. Everyone found both of the Naming Days lovely:)


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    #54
    vikster
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1 ✭vikster


    Hi, I was wondering if you managed to find anything out. I'm in exactly the same position, moving from scotland to ireland I was never christened and am not a catholic but as it seems to be such a big thing over here I'm trying to find out what the situation is, do I need to have him christened so that he can do all the conformation stuff at school..


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    #55
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    vikster wrote: »
    Hi, I was wondering if you managed to find anything out. I'm in exactly the same position, moving from scotland to ireland I was never christened and am not a catholic but as it seems to be such a big thing over here I'm trying to find out what the situation is, do I need to have him christened so that he can do all the conformation stuff at school..

    I heard from a relative who is a priest there are major changes coming in the catholic church to combat this kind of thing, they are looking into many ways one of which could be
    to enforce a certain annual attendance minimum for Saturday/Sunday masses in the 2 years prior to a sacrement, without which you will not be allowed to make your communion/confirmation. so you could end up having your child as the odd one out unless you are willing to spend most of your Saturday nights /Sunday mornings in mass.


    i would advise to take it very serious if you are going to baptise your child into the church as the church may change the rules at any stage..


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    #56
    January
    Closed Accounts Posts: 23,862 ✭✭✭✭January


    What will they make you do, sign a register?


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    #57
    strandroad
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,676 ✭✭✭strandroad


    January wrote: »
    What will they make you do, sign a register?

    Fingerprint readers. They had them for confirmation kids in a church in Poland somewhere. I am not joking.


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