What is fate? Does it exist?

ilovebiology

Ladies,
Has anyone had any incidences of "Fate" be it with a man or a woman? I would love a discussion on this, and to get your opinions. A man from my past keeps coming up, and appearing in my life. Anytime I am not thinking about him/am over him, something about him appears, and he ends up back on my mind again. Its driving me nuts!

Have any of you ladies experienced anything like this, or have an opinion as to why this is happening to me?

If I am in the wrong forum, let me know, or transfer this thread. Thanks

Lots of coincidence, it's a small world

Acoshla

Not just with man/woman relationships, but I do believe in fate, I have had some things happen to me that are just too strange to be coincidences, specifically a lucky number that crops up a lot for me in positive ways, and in the people I've met and the way things have happened so far in my life.

I know a lot of things are just coincidence, but I definitely think there's more to some things than coincidence.

ilovebiology

I have had a stream of coincidences with this person, from the first time we got chatting. When I met him in person it was like electricity went through me, I was instantly attracted, and we got on really well. Things changed, he is no longer in my life. The past while I haven't been thinking about him, and now again, he has re entered my life in a strange way again.
What do you think? Its really odd, and hasn't happened before. Has anything like this happened to any of you?

TheNewMee

I once read a book that dealt with the subject of coincidences pretty well. The problem is that "improbable event happening" is much more noticeable than "improbable event not happening" so we put a lot more emphasis on the coincidences we see without thinking about all of the ones that didn't happen.
In short, no, fate does not exist.

Asphyxia

I like to keep and open mind on things so I do believe in it as Spadina said I've had too many weird coincidences happening sometimes. I like to think some things happen for reasons because it makes me keep positives in bad situations

Acoshla

The series of events that have happened me with my lucky number have freaked out the most level headed people I know, I didn't quite believe how weird it was until they said it.

But OP as my Grandad says what's for you won't pass by you, so if you and this person keep cropping up in each other's lives then maybe it's for reason, but at the same time from the other point of view maybe it means nothing at all but you might as well give it a shot, barring any major reasons not to.

ilovebiology

Spadina wrote: »

The series of events that have happened me with my lucky number have freaked out the most level headed people I know, I didn't quite believe how weird it was until they said it.

But OP as my Grandad says what's for you won't pass by you, so if you and this person keep cropping up in each other's lives then maybe it's for reason, but at the same time from the other point of view maybe it means nothing at all but you might as well give it a shot, barring any major reasons not to.

Thanks Spadina. Its freaking me out this evening, as he was out of my mind for a while. I joined a website, and who was there, he was. Its odd!

jellie

ilovebiology wrote: »

Thanks Spadina. Its freaking me out this evening, as he was out of my mind for a while. I joined a website, and who was there, he was. Its odd!

with websites if you have any connections in common or email addresses in your email contacts and things like that its not necessarily a coincidence but the internet knowing too much about you. Obviously it depends on the website etc., but ive had similar before, like creating a youtube account and getting suggested videos uploaded by my ex because he was in my gmail contacts - not a coincidence, google trying to be clever.

mood

If it's a dating site is just means you are both single and looking to meet someone. That's not fate IMO.

ilovebiology

jellie wrote: »

with websites if you have any connections in common or email addresses in your email contacts and things like that its not necessarily a coincidence but the internet knowing too much about you. Obviously it depends on the website etc., but ive had similar before, like creating a youtube account and getting suggested videos uploaded by my ex because he was in my gmail contacts - not a coincidence, google trying to be clever.

No, its nothing like this at all. I have nothing on the internet, and there is no way I knew he was there, and he had no idea I was there. Its pure coincidence, and odd

Ickle Magoo

I don't think there is any such thing as fate - we notice certain people more than others. There are many occasions when people we know happen into our lives or our paths cross but unless we put any importance on them, we tend not to notice. If it's someone we really like then I think we look harder for them and place more emphasis on any random coincidence because we'd really love for there to be some cosmic reason for it happening that will eventually mean us getting what we want - but I think it more wishful thinking than fate. :cool:

Giselle

Fate, like luck, is a more exciting way to explain the very random machinations of coincidence.

No, I don't believe in it. If we look for things, we see them. Even if we don't realise we're looking.

Gerry Manderer

Spadina wrote: »

But OP as my Grandad says what's for you won't pass by you, so if you and this person keep cropping up in each other's lives then maybe it's for reason, but at the same time from the other point of view maybe it means nothing at all but you might as well give it a shot, barring any major reasons not to.

I've never bought into this fallacy that there is some master plan that you are somehow "guided" along for your eternal benefit. Things that may be "for you" (whatever that actually means) do and will pass you by. That's the harsh reality of life

I think people take comfort in believing that some things were "meant/not meant to be", in a sense it absolves them of personal responsibility for things turning out in certain ways or a reality which they find hard to accept

Acoshla

Gerry Manderer wrote: »

I think people take comfort in believing that some things were "meant/not meant to be", in a sense it absolves them of personal responsibility for things turning out in certain ways or a reality which they find hard to accept

So what if it helps them? People believe in all sorts (religion being the first thing to comes to mind) to help them deal with life.

TheNewMee

Spadina wrote: »

So what if it helps them? People believe in all sorts (religion being the first thing to comes to mind) to help them deal with life.

The problem is that buying into the whole "what's for you won't pass you by" thing can lead to people not taking opportunities that present themselves because they believe that even if they don't take the risk at that point it'll still work out in the end.

Gerry Manderer

Spadina wrote: »

So what if it helps them? People believe in all sorts (religion being the first thing to comes to mind) to help them deal with life.

Yeah if it helps them, fine, but in answer to the question of whether the concept of fate actually exists, no I don't believe there is such thing as fate

Giselle

Spadina wrote: »

So what if it helps them? People believe in all sorts (religion being the first thing to comes to mind) to help them deal with life.

Believing in lies or illusions prevents people from dealing with the realities, and thats the only way to really get a grip on life.

The only purpose it serves is to delude people into believing they have control over things they don't, by praying for example.

Thats not dealing with life, its hiding from the truth.

Acoshla

Ok so by liking the idea of fate some bit I'm deluding myself and not dealing with life. It is possible to have some belief in fate but also have the maturity and the general cop on to know that you can't just sit back and wait for things to be handed to you and them blame "a higher power" when things go wrong.

I don't mean that I think every single thing in life is due to fate and not actual decisions but I do think that some things are, or might be, sure who are any of us to say for definite what happens.

But I do like how this so quickly went from a light hearted thread to those who believe in fate being dillusional and hiding from the truth. :rolleyes:

Giselle

Calm down:)

My reply was just in response to this:

Spadina wrote: »

So what if it helps them? People believe in all sorts (religion being the first thing to comes to mind) to help them deal with life.

You're reading too much into it.:)

IrishEyes19

TheNewMee wrote: »

I once read a book that dealt with the subject of coincidences pretty well. The problem is that "improbable event happening" is much more noticeable than "improbable event not happening" so we put a lot more emphasis on the coincidences we see without thinking about all of the ones that didn't happen.
In short, no, fate does not exist.

I think it would be nice for once in a while instead of throwing a hell of a lot of scientific logic and reasoning at something which is the new faze these days, that nothing sweet or slightly mystical could happen, maybe people could let go and maybe give "possibility" and "fate" a chance too.

TheNewMee

IrishEyes19 wrote: »

I think it would be nice for once in a while instead of throwing a hell of a lot of scientific logic and reasoning at something which is the new faze these days, that nothing sweet or slightly mystical could happen, maybe people could let go and maybe give "possibility" and "fate" a chance too.

Yes how dare people throw logic and reasoning at something, it must surely be a faze :rolleyes:

krudler

Giselle wrote: »

Believing in lies or illusions prevents people from dealing with the realities, and thats the only way to really get a grip on life.

The only purpose it serves is to delude people into believing they have control over things they don't, by praying for example.

Thats not dealing with life, its hiding from the truth.

I saw a demotivational poster once that said something like "praying: how to think you're doing something while doing absolutely nothing" and that sums it up perfectly. I hate when people say things like "please god I'll get that job" whatd god got to do with it? surely a higher being has better things to do than interfere in your cv?

kerryman12

These numbers you speak of;

[specifically a lucky number that crops up a lot for me in positive ways/QUOTE]

The series of events that have happened me with my lucky number have freaked out the most level headed people I know

are they; 4/8/15/16/23/42 - if so I would advise against any flights across the pacific!

Sorry, couldnt resist that one.

Ilovebiology in your case I would think that because this person is on your mind a lot you are making these connections where they dont really exisit.

As for fate in general, I dont really buy that.

Grasshoppa

I'm aware of the explanations for the seeming existence of fate; apophenia, confirmation bias, self-fulfilling prophecies etc, and thus the unlikelihood of fate existing, yet I'm still drawn to the romantic notion that it does.

cdaly_

Spadina wrote: »

The series of events that have happened me with my lucky number have freaked out the most level headed people I know, I didn't quite believe how weird it was until they said it.

Have you considered how many events that have happened to you with other numbers? Or do you just not notice those?

metrovelvet

I don't equate coincidence with destiny. Destiny is a whole other concept, which can range from Calvinistic pre-determinism, to the Shakespearean character as destiny, to Jungian archetypes and paradigms, to psychiatric diagnosis, to self fulfilling prophecies.

IrishEyes19

TheNewMee wrote: »

Yes how dare people throw logic and reasoning at something, it must surely be a faze :rolleyes:

Your sarcasm is hillarious, "thenewmee," :rolleyes:

I was just making the point, not everything has to be so serious!! I apologise if my post didn't click well with you :rolleyes: but theres nothing wrong either with believing in fate.

Giselle

IrishEyes19 wrote: »

Your sarcasm is hillarious, "thenewmee," :rolleyes:

I was just making the point, not everything has to be so serious!! I apologise if my post didn't click well with you :rolleyes: but theres nothing wrong either with believing in fate.

Nothing wrong with it in the same way as theres nothing wrong with believing in faeries or angels or unicorns, but that still doesn't make it true or reasonable.

Which is more important, to believe in something because its true, or believe in something because its nice?

metrovelvet

Do you believe in imaginary numbers?

Red Hand

metrovelvet wrote: »

Do you believe in imaginary numbers?

√[-1]

Giselle

Giselle wrote: »

Nothing wrong with it in the same way as theres nothing wrong with believing in faeries or angels or unicorns, but that still doesn't make it true or reasonable.

Which is more important, to believe in something because its true, or believe in something because its nice?

If it generally has no effect on your actions and you don't expect others to believe the same, then I suppose the latter is harmless

Dravokivich

Giselle wrote: »

Nothing wrong with it in the same way as theres nothing wrong with believing in faeries or angels or unicorns, but that still doesn't make it true or reasonable.

Which is more important, to believe in something because its true, or believe in something because its nice?

Fate doesn't nessacirly need to have a religious / mythical overtone to it, as I gather you are pushing here.

One would require as much belief in themeselves to venture into unkown territory as well. I'd consider that to be quite a strong belief in fate.

Giselle

Dravokivich wrote: »

Fate doesn't nessacirly need to have a religious / mythical overtone to it, as I gather you are pushing here.

One would require as much belief in themeselves to venture into unkown territory as well. I'd consider that to be quite a strong belief in fate.

I think fate is quite well evidenced to the contrary of its existence. I don't regard it as a mystical concept, just a void one.

I think belief in oneself or following ones chosen path is something else entirely, again, free from mystical input. Its a sense of self, perhaps?

Tar.Aldarion

Only if the universe is a deterministic system.

Dudess

I don't believe in karma etc, but I don't know... sometimes I think it seems like certain things are just "meant to be", that nothing can stop them from happening/not happening.

Coincidences freak me out/intrigue me too. But I don't read too much into them.

bozo25

ilovebiology wrote: »

Ladies,
Has anyone had any incidences of "Fate" be it with a man or a woman? I would love a discussion on this, and to get your opinions. A man from my past keeps coming up, and appearing in my life. Anytime I am not thinking about him/am over him, something about him appears, and he ends up back on my mind again. Its driving me nuts!

Have any of you ladies experienced anything like this, or have an opinion as to why this is happening to me?

If I am in the wrong forum, let me know, or transfer this thread. Thanks

Yes I do believe in fate & people crossing your path whom you haven't met for ages when you may have been thinking of them just before that. I believe that our future path in life is mapped out for us the day that we are born.

metrovelvet

Jeremiah 16:1 wrote: »

√[-1]

Thank you because I couldnt remember what the sign was.

krudler

bozo25 wrote: »

Yes I do believe in fate & people crossing your path whom you haven't met for ages when you may have been thinking of them just before that. I believe that our future path in life is mapped out for us the day that we are born.

So we have no free will? what if i called in sick to work tomorrow, went to the shop and got hit by a bus? that was my mapped plan?

metrovelvet

krudler wrote: »

So we have no free will? what if i called in sick to work tomorrow, went to the shop and got hit by a bus? that was my mapped plan?

It was your unconcious desire not to go to work at play so you got hit by a bus. I told you to get a new job!:)

krudler

metrovelvet wrote: »

It was your unconcious desire not to go to work at play so you got hit by a bus. I told you to get a new job!:)

sure what'd be the point? I'm destined to get hit by a bus :pac:

Red Hand

metrovelvet wrote: »

Thank you because I couldnt remember what the sign was.

When you said "imaginary numbers", I had a Vietnamesque flashback to 5th year maths.:pac:

On topic, no, I don't believe in fate. Nothing happens for a reason...we're all just bouncing round in a pinball universe.

Raze_them_all

krudler wrote: »

So we have no free will? what if i called in sick to work tomorrow, went to the shop and got hit by a bus? that was my mapped plan?

This is the problem with fate....it was your fate to take the day off work and go to the shops and get hit by the bus after all fate determines everything before it happens.



I don't believe in fate.

Galvasean

When you look at the world there is obviously a complete and utter lack of karmic balance. I don't believe in fate at all. There is an old saying that goes something along the lines of, "Never attribute that to fate which can be adequetely explained by coincidence."

bozo25

krudler wrote: »

So we have no free will? what if i called in sick to work tomorrow, went to the shop and got hit by a bus? that was my mapped plan?

Ya you were destined to have an accident that day!

sunflower27

About 9 years ago I went to meet a friend at dublin airport. Normally I'd just meet her in town but this time I decided I'd dress up nice and go meet her. I waited for her in the green room bar (no longer there). She turned up and we had a few drinks.... while there i was approached by a good-looking guy. Long story short we dated long distance (ireland/UK) for 2.5 years.

We eventually split but got back together again many years later. Was whirlwind, fabulous.

A month on now I am getting over the heartbreak of being dumped yet again by him (the ultimate commitmentphobe).

I'm really trying to build myself back up.... it hasnt been easy. Almost a month now No Contact.

For all these years I thought he was the One. I had other relationships but he was always in my heart.

So do I believe in fate? God no, I wish I'd never met the loser

krudler

bozo25 wrote: »

Ya you were destined to have an accident that day!

destined by who? god? seems a pretty sh1tty thing for a deity to leave happen dont you think?

blue5000

ilovebiology wrote: »

Thanks Spadina. Its freaking me out this evening, as he was out of my mind for a while. I joined a website, and who was there, he was. Its odd!

Is it me?

mood

I think it's just coincidence. I don't really believe in the whole 'fate' thing

The OP and her ex probably had common interests so it's not that unusual that they may have joined a site that may have been in relation to an interest they shared.

Also the OP has been extremely vague so we have no idea how 'unusual' the fact that they joined the same site is or isn't!

ilovebiology

On the subject of fate, what do yez think of this people?

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/top-stories/2011/02/05/real-life-fate-brought-us-back-together-115875-22898839/

It really is an amazing story, makes you go aw!!!!!!

Wibbs

I think as humans one of our greatest abilities is to pattern match and to discern patterns and structure in things. It's one of the main things that led to science and philosophy and well, modern humans. The problem is we tend to see these patterns in everything.

For me the notion of "fate" is like the kids game of lying down looking up at the clouds and trying to see things in them. We think we see a face on the moon and we had the huge crowd of eejits in the 80's watch statues move in tacky grottos the length of Ireland. Our brains get bored without pattern or structure.

Then add in romantic love and all bets are off. Love is a drug as the song goes. It does make you a little drunk/insane so you'll really buy into this stuff. Doubly so if you already tend to buy into more magical thinking anyway(horoscopes, mediums etc).

Now it is possible the universe has a "plan" of some nature, but I doubt it would be personal to us, or whether I bump into a sexually compatible mate(of which there are literally millions in the world). I just don't buy it.