TOP GEAR!!!!!!

cjmcork

semi-decent ep tonight - and an Irish guy in the audience - how the hell did he get tickets - vvvvv jealous!:D

DublinWriter

Dunno - the whole Mexican thing turned me off this show big time.

cjmcork

debating taking back what I said - why are they doing a thing about bloody moon-buggies????

Cicero

Liked the John Prescot thing....just plain funny....could imagine though, it might be a bit contentious in UK having a "boomtime" MP on TG...probably the equivalent of having Brian Cowan on ....eh...hmmm....*thinks for a minute*...we don't have a "Top Gear"....:(

cjmcork

Cicero wrote: »

Liked the John Prescot thing....just plain funny....could imagine though, it might be a bit contentious in UK having a "boomtime" MP on TG...probably the equivalent of having Brian Cowan on ....eh...hmmm....*thinks for a minute*...we don't have a "Top Gear"....:(

was actually thinking that this would be a great idea for politicans we don't like.......that would be all of them I guess!!!

cjmcork

why are they making a tribute to windy shepherd henderson - this isn't Fr. Ted!

Cicero

June it is so....see you then...:)

The Black Oil

Missed the first half of this ep. John Prescott seemed like a fairly good sport, perhaps the political stuff went on a bit, could have yapped about his cars a little more, probably lost in the editing room. Nice piece from James, always reliable on the space/moon stuff.

Myrddin

DublinWriter wrote: »

Dunno - the whole Mexican thing turned me off this show big time.

It's only a bit of fun. He's slagged off the English too this season, & a lot or prior seasons. Why not write into them? The address is:

I don't get Clarksons humour & find him offensive instead of amusing
Top Gear
London
England.

Dues Bellator

EnterNow wrote: »

It's only a bit of fun. He's slagged off the English too this season, & a lot or prior seasons. Why not write into them? The address is:

I don't get Clarksons humour & find him offensive instead of amusing
Top Gear
London
England.

:D:D

Buffman

DublinWriter wrote: »

Dunno - the whole Mexican thing turned me off this show big time.

I think anyone with a GSOH knew he was taking the mick.

cjmcork wrote: »

debating taking back what I said - why are they doing a thing about bloody moon-buggies????

Probably because it's the coolest car ever, or would it be more of a camper van! Pretty funnny when May hit the lamp post!:D

DublinWriter

EnterNow wrote: »

It's only a bit of fun. He's slagged off the English too this season, & a lot or prior seasons.

Big difference between slagging your own off and slagging another race/country.

Again, Steve Coogan's article in the Guardian in relation to this hit the nail on the head.

I also think that this is more than a little nod to their giant American market where the average petrolhead is usually right-wing and anti-Mexican.

Myrddin

DublinWriter wrote: »

Big difference between slagging your own off and slagging another race/country.

Again, Steve Coogan's article in the Guardian in relation to this hit the nail on the head.

I also think that this is more than a little nod to their giant American market where the average petrolhead is usually right-wing and anti-Mexican.

Not really, it's meant to be light hearted comedy & not taken too seriously.

Wasn't Coogans article about Hammond? I havn't yet it read but thought that was the general jist of it.

Clarkson continually slags off the Americans, accents, mating with vegetables, build quality of cars etc etc...now it's a nod to them? I think your reading to much into it, it made everyone in the audience laugh, that's all it was meant to do. Top Gear isn't that deep

Blitzkrieger

cjmcork wrote: »

how the hell did he get tickets - vvvvv jealous!:D

afaik it's a lottery for tickets. There's something like a 300 year waiting list, and the longer you're on the list the better your chances of winning, but if you join the list today there's a chance you could be lucky.

Sonics2k

DublinWriter wrote: »

Big difference between slagging your own off and slagging another race/country.

Again, Steve Coogan's article in the Guardian in relation to this hit the nail on the head.

I also think that this is more than a little nod to their giant American market where the average petrolhead is usually right-wing and anti-Mexican.

Steve Coogan is quite a hypocrite. He's spent years making jokes about various people, no matter the background.

Myrddin

If you want to know if Clarkson is actually as idiotic as he portrays himself sometimes, watch these with an open mind...

If you can't see it's a character by the end of them, then there's no hope for you!

sh1tstirrer

Couldn't be bothered watching those videos as clarkson's voice does my head in.
Heres conformation that he is an idiot.
http://theyearzero.wordpress.com/2008/10/20/confirmation-that-jeremy-clarkson-is-an-idiot/

Myrddin

sh1tstirrer wrote: »

Couldn't be bothered watching those videos as clarkson's voice does my head in.
Heres conformation that he is an idiot.
http://theyearzero.wordpress.com/2008/10/20/confirmation-that-jeremy-clarkson-is-an-idiot/

Well I chose to make my own mind up, & come to my own conlusion by watching him being himself directly...as opposed to just letting some internet author make it up for me Then again like I said above, you need an open mind.

Batsy

EnterNow wrote: »

I hate to say it, but Clarksons episode intro's are becoming the funniest thing on the show.

"Tonight! Our track gets a bit foggy, a fat man eats a snack, and we move about in a caravan!!" I always laugh at them, just get rid of Hammond ffs!

I like the bits when Clarkson introduces The Stig. The "Some say...." bit followed by an outlandish or outrageous claim.

Here's a list:

• Some say he never blinks, and that he roams around the woods at night foraging for wolves...
• Some say he’s wanted by the CIA, and that he sleeps upside down like a bat...
• Some say he appears on high value stamps in Sweden, and that he can catch fish with his tongue...
• Some say he is illegal in 17 US states, and he blinks horizontally...
• Some say that his breath smells of magnesium, and that he’s scared of bells...
• Some say he naturally faces magnetic north, and that all his legs are hydraulic...
• Some say that he lives in a tree, and that his sweat can be used to clean precious metals...
• Some say that his heart ticks like a watch, and that he’s confused by stairs...
• Some say that his voice can only be heard by cats, and that he has two sets of knees...
• Some say that he’s terrified of ducks, and that there’s an airport in Russia named after him...
• Some say his skin has the texture of a dolphin’s, and that wherever you are in the world if you tune your radio to 88.4 you can actually hear his thoughts...
• Some say that he has no understanding of clouds, and that his earwax tastes like Turkish Delight...
• Some say that his politics are terrifying, and that he once punched a horse to the ground...
• Some say that his tears are adhesive, and that if he caught fire he’d burn for a thousand days...
• Some say he can swim seven lengths underwater, and he has webbed buttocks...
• Some say that his heart is in upside down, and that his teeth glow in the dark...
• Some say that his ears aren’t exactly where you’d expect them to be, and that once, preposterously, he had an affair with John Prescott...
• Some say he has a digital face, and that if he felt like it, he could fire Alan Sugar...
• Some say that his genitals are on upside down, and that if he could be bothered he could crack the Da Vinci code in 43 seconds...
• Some say his ears have a paisley lining, and he’s been banned from the Chelsea Flower Show...
• Some say that the outline of his left nipple is exactly the same shape as the Nurburgring, and that if you give him a really important job to do, he’ll skive off and play croquet...
• Some say he invented Branston Pickle, and that if you insult his mother he will headbutt you in the chest...
• Some say that on really warm days he sheds his skin like a snake, and that for some reason he’s allergic to the Dutch...
• Some say that his first name really is The, and that if he went on Celebrity Love Island they’d all be pregnant including the cameramen...
• Some say that he once threw a microwave oven at a tramp, and that long before anyone else he realised that Jade Goody was a racist pig-faced waste of blood and organs...
• Some say that he once had a vicious knife-fight with Anthea Turner, and that he is in no way implicated in the Cash-for-Honours scandal. All we know is that he's called Lord Stig
• Some say that he is a CIA experiment that went wrong, and that he only eats cheese. All new know is that he's not The Stig - he's The Stig's fat American cousin
• Some say that if you lick his chest it tastes exactly the same as Piccalilli, and that at this week’s Brit awards he was arrested for goosing Russell Brand...
• Some say that he sucks the moisture from ducks, and that his crash helmet is modelled on Britney Spears’ head...
• Some say he isn’t machine washable, and all his potted plants are called Steve...
• Some say his scrotum has its own small gravity field...
• Some say because our producer rigged a phone vote, he now has a new name...all we know is, he's called Cuddles...
• Some say he's banned from the town of Chichester...
• Some say in a recent late night deal he bought a slightly dented white Fiat Uno from the Duke of Edinburgh...
• Some say he gets terrible ezcema on his helmet...
• Some say if he'd been the video ref in the World Cup Rugby Final he would've seen that it was of course a try, you blind Australian half-wit...
• Some say to unlock him you have to run your finger down his face...
• Some say if he were getting divorced from Paul McCartney he'd keep his stupid whining mouth shut...
• Some say he thought Star Wars was a documentry...
• Some say he recently pulled out of I'm a Celebrity because he's frightened of trees....and Australia...Koo Stark...and Ant...and Dec...
• Some say he knows two facts about ducks, and both of them are wrong...
• Some say 61 years ago he accidently introduced Her Majesty, the Queen, to a Greek racialist...
• Some say when he slows down, brake lights come on in his buttocks...
• Some say if he'd been the manager of the England football squad last week he wouldn't have been a feckless-ginger-gum-chewing buffoon who ruined it for all of us...
• Some say he once lost a canoe on a beach in the northeast...
• Some say he once did some time in a prison in Canterbury because his teddy is called "The Baby Jesus"...
• Some say that after making love, he bites the head off his partner, and that he's had to give up binge-drinking now that it 's got to £1.18 a litre. All we know is he's called the Stig.
• Some say that each of his toenails are exactly the same as a woman's nipples. And that he thinks the credit crunch is some kind of breakfast cereal. All we know is he's called the Stig.
• Some say his droppings have been found as far north as York. And that he has a full-size tattoo of his face - on his face. All we know is he's called the Stig.
• Some say that he is not allowed by law, within a hundred yards of Lorraine Kelly. And that he's never seen an episode of Top Gear because he's a huge fan of Midsomer Murders. All we know is he's called Bergerac.
• Some say it's impossible for him to wear socks. And he can open a beer bottle with his testes. All we know is he's called the Stig.
• Some say that he sleeps inside out, and that he once had full sex with Russell Brand's answering machine.
• Some say his favourite ever song is Forever Autumn by Justin Hayward, and that he has the world's largest collection of pornographical material.
• Some say that he invented November. And that if he had won the World Championship in Brazil last weekend, there might have been one photograph of him without his father, gurning in the back of shot.
• Some say one of his legs gets longer when he sees a pretty lady. And that I haven't done one of these for some time and I've forgotten to make up a second thing.
• Some say that he doesn't like to get his helmet wet. A point that was proved last week when he was caught in the back of shot by an eagle-eyed viewer.

.Series 10

• Some say that he's banned from the town of Chichester, and that in a recent late-night deal, he bought a slightly dented white Fiat Uno from the Duke of Edinburgh...
• Some say that he gets terrible eczema on his helmet, and that if he'd been the video referee at the World Cup Rugby Final, he'd have seen ' of course it was a try you blind Australian half-wit'!
• (On African Stig) Some say he's seen The Lion King 1780 times, and that his second best friend is a cape buffalo... all we know is, he's not the Stig, but he is the Stig's African cousin.
• Some say that as we speak he is actually relaxing in the resort pool, and he is, he is actually.

Series 12
• Some say, he has a stripy top, just like mine...
• Some say that one of his eyes is a teste. And that he was turned down for I'm a celebrity because people have heard of him...

Series 13

• Some say he invented the curtain, and that he recently submitted a £20,000 expenses claim for some gravel...for his moat...
• Some say, he has twelve GCSE's, all in Domestic Science. And that he has been producing artificial sperm for years. Even though we have repeatedly asked him not to...
• Some say, that on Thursdays he becomes incredibly bulbous. And that recently pigs in Mexico started to die of something called "Stigflu". All we know is, he's highly contagious!
• Some say, that he cut that man's hair [pointing at a man in audience]...

Series 14

• Some say that in the autumn, all his arms go brown and fall off. And that if he wrote you a letter of condolence, he would at least get your name right. All we know is, he's called the Stog.
James: You mean the Stig.
Jeremy: That's what I said. I said it.
• Some say that he has some terrible plans involving the moon. And that he was turned down for a place on I'm a Celebrity because he is one.
• Some say his new Christmas range of fragrances includes the great smell of Wednesday. And that he was turned down for the job of EU President, because his face is just too recognisable...
• Some say that the drinks cabinet in his car contains fourteen different types of custard. And that while he has been known to leave his house in a bit of a hurry, he's never once hit a fire hydrant...

Series 15

• Some say that his discharge is luminous, and that even as we speak, he is appearing on the main stage at Glastonbury performing his most famous hit, Superstition...
• Some say there are 17 different reasons why he's banned from the Northampton branch of Little Chef, and that his favourite airline pilot is Mark Webber...
• Some say the Scottish released him a little bit too soon. And that he spent all week pushing an effigy of Rubens Barrichello through his desk fan...

http://www.motortorque.com/articles/auto-0806/some-say-stigisms-the-complete-stig-introductions.asp