Women: What do they mean

whydoibother?

Greenmachine wrote: »

Curious about something guys maybe some of you have some insight.
Why do some women blurt out "I have a boyfriend" when you casually start a conversation with them. Not talking about the times when you do actually fancy them. I am talking about those more frequent occurance where you are in fact not interested in them, where they spout those famous lines. Is it some sort of game to appear more attractive and appealing. I am at a loss to explain it.

Does this happen frequently? Seems very odd to just blurt it out. I could understand a subtle mention of a boyfriend if the guy was blatantly chatting them up, to let them know that it wasn't going to happen without embarrassment to anybody e.g. "... yeah, I agree, funny that you mention it, my boyfriend was only talking about that this morning..." or similar.

stupidusername

py2006 wrote: »

Actually, there is another interesting phenomena with women that is interesting. I have noticed that some will play that dismissive role towards certain guys even though they do actually like them.

Not sure I am describing that correctly, no eye-contact, nose in the air stuff yet sitting close enough for the guy to notice etc. After a few drinks they let the guard done!

I think I know what you mean. it's like saying i don't need your attention, but secretly want it :rolleyes:

py2006 wrote: »

Relax, I was kidding!

right.

py2006

stupidusername wrote: »

I think I know what you mean. it's like saying i don't need your attention, but secretly want it :rolleyes:

Yea, its a silly game to play! If I get that off a woman I just walk away and show no interest!

Scanlas The 2nd

There are two main reasons women say they have a boyfriend.

The first and most common reason is that she isn't interested in you, regardless of whether she has a boyfriend. Usually even if she has a boyfriend and she's attracted to you she won't mention it. So bottom line here is she's not attracted to you.

The 2nd main reason she says she has a boyfriend is because she is attracted to you and has a boyfriend and wants you to know her logistics so you can move things forward more easily and/or discreetly. So in this case she wants to cheat on her boyfriend with you.

It's fairly obvious which applies when she says " I have a boyfriend", if she is cold towards you number 1 applies. If she is laughing, smiling or touching you etc.. number 2 applies.

py2006

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

There are two main reasons women say they have a boyfriend.

The first and most common reason is that she isn't interested in you, regardless of whether she has a boyfriend. Usually even if she has a boyfriend and she's attracted to you she won't mention it. So bottom line here is she's not attracted to you.

The 2nd main reason she says she has a boyfriend is because she is attracted to you and has a boyfriend and wants you to know her logistics so you can move things forward more easily and/or discreetly. So in this case she wants to cheat on her boyfriend with you.

It's fairly obvious which applies when she says " I have a boyfriend", if she is cold towards you number 1 applies. If she is laughing, smiling or touching you etc.. number 2 applies.

If only it were that simple!!

Galvasean

py2006 wrote: »

Yea, its a silly game to play! If I get that off a woman I just walk away and show no interest!

Same here. I don't bother with anyone who plays 'hard to get' style games. I'm not lowering myself to jumping through hoops in order to get near someone who might be worth talking to.

XxMCRxBabyxX

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

There are two main reasons women say they have a boyfriend.

The first and most common reason is that she isn't interested in you, regardless of whether she has a boyfriend. Usually even if she has a boyfriend and she's attracted to you she won't mention it. So bottom line here is she's not attracted to you.

The 2nd main reason she says she has a boyfriend is because she is attracted to you and has a boyfriend and wants you to know her logistics so you can move things forward more easily and/or discreetly. So in this case she wants to cheat on her boyfriend with you.

It's fairly obvious which applies when she says " I have a boyfriend", if she is cold towards you number 1 applies. If she is laughing, smiling or touching you etc.. number 2 applies.

Or she's getting on well with you but doesn't want you to get the wrong idea so she brings it up so as not to mislead you.

There's not always a bitchy reason for the comment.

Raekwon

metrovelvet wrote: »

Irish women have trouble receiving compliments and will respond with some self effacing remark or retort with a smart ass comment and that he was taken aback by my reception of the compliment.

Yeah this is extremely common and it does add fuel to the whole "Irish girl vs foreign girl" debate but I find that most women usually grow out of this when they hit their 30's, usually out of necessity more then anything else.

py2006 wrote:

Actually, there is another interesting phenomena with women that is interesting. I have noticed that some will play that dismissive role towards certain guys even though they do actually like them.

Not sure I am describing that correctly, no eye-contact, nose in the air stuff yet sitting close enough for the guy to notice etc. After a few drinks they let the guard done!

Yeah I used to notice that alot, it's a defence mechanism that women use so that they don't get hurt or rejected. It's like they are putting themselves in the position to get chatted up without actually doing any of the work so to speak. Again I'd put that down to maturity. I think a woman with life some experience would be confident enough to actually approach a guy in stead of playing childish games.

But in saying that I feel that women seem to have more of an issue with confidence then men, this can lead a much greater fear of rejection and an over reliance of justification from to opposite sex ie: a single girl dismissing a guy with the "I have a boyfriend" line possible for a confidence/ego boost.

Scanlas The 2nd

XxMCRxBabyxX wrote: »

Or she's getting on well with you but doesn't want you to get the wrong idea so she brings it up so as not to mislead you.

There's not always a bitchy reason for the comment.

Those two reasons aren't bitchy reasons, I don't judge it.

Usually if she is attracted to you she just won't say it, unless of course whe wants to or is considering cheating with you.

If she's getting on well with you and says it she is saying it because she isn't attracted to you. That comes under the first reason.

XxMCRxBabyxX

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

Those two reasons aren't bitchy reasons, I don't judge it.

Usually if she is attracted to you she just won't say it, unless of course whe wants to or is considering cheating with you.

If she's getting on well with you and says it she is saying it because she isn't attracted to you. That comes under the first reason.

Or she doesn't want to lead you on because she may like you but doesn't want anything to happen. She could be interested in talking to you but nothing more

It would be awfully unfair to a guy to have him thinking that he has a chance, whether you find him attractive or not, and leading him on until he tries something and which point you then say "I have a boyfriend". All you need to do is mention it in casual conversation so he knows but yet you haven't shoved it in his face.

Scanlas The 2nd

XxMCRxBabyxX wrote: »

Or she doesn't want to lead you on because she may like you but doesn't want anything to happen. She could be interested in talking to you but nothing more

It would be awfully unfair to a guy to have him thinking that he has a chance, whether you find him attractive or not, and leading him on until he tries something and which point you then say "I have a boyfriend". All you need to do is mention it in casual conversation so he knows but yet you haven't shoved it in his face.

The stuff you are mentioning is all surface level that is often rationalized. She might have reasons in her head why she thinks she's saying it but when you boil it down she says it because she is not attracted to him. If she were attracted she wouldn't say it, unless of course she is attracted and wants to cheat on with him.

stupidusername

Galvasean wrote: »

Same here. I don't bother with anyone who plays 'hard to get' style games. I'm not lowering myself to jumping through hoops in order to get near someone who might be worth talking to.

yep, hoops are tiring.

Raekwon

Actually I have another slight angle on this excuse.

I good few years ago I was in my local pub with my mates and I noticed a really pretty brunette staring at me, even my mates clocked her throwing eyes at me and told me to go over to her. I made an approach but was abruptly halted when she blurted out: "I'm a lesbian", cue laughter from her mates :rolleyes: (Btw I knew her ex, we played on rival football teams so she obviously wasn't gay at all). I walked away with my tail between my legs and that was that.

The kicker is, a few weeks later I was in the same pub with a girl I met through a mate, I noticed the apparent lesbian and her mates were there too. After a while I went to the bar to get myself and my date drinks when I was approached by one of the mates. She told me that Miss Lesbian really fancied me and was wondering if I wanted to meet up with her I just "No thanks" we subsequently had to leave the pub because the atmosphere was getting very uncomfortable with the dagger stares that we were getting.

Just an example of immaturity and silly mind-games...........why do women bother?

caseyann

Well Op are you in the habit of talking to strange women who you dont fancy and have no reason to sit and talk with and will never speak to again because you dont fancy them?

Personally i would ignore you

XxMCRxBabyxX

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

The stuff you are mentioning is all surface level that is often rationalized. She might have reasons in her head why she thinks she's saying it but when you boil it down she says it because she is not attracted to him. If she were attracted she wouldn't say it, unless of course she is attracted and wants to cheat on with him.

Nope this is genuinely the reason that I tend to mention my boyfriend.

I'm a lads girl. I get on way better with them and always spend most of my nights hanging out with my lad friends but I have in the past ended up in situations where I have guys interested in me and give me the impression that I have led them on when I haven't meant to do anything of the sort. I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years. I do love him and I wouldn't want to be with anyone else and I don't want other guys thinking that they have a chance either, even if I did feel anything for them. So it's easier to just casually warn them so they know nothing will happen rather than end up in an awkward situation.

Also if a girl was attracted to a guy but didn't say anything, wouldn't that just make a situation worse?

I think we are actually thinking close enough the same way just interpreting each other slightly differently tbh.

Quandary

metrovelvet wrote: »

My friend has met several men on the street by them following her and saying something along those lines.

Is your friend a lady of the night by any chance ? :pac:

caseyann

Quandary wrote: »

Is your friend a lady of the night by any chance ? :pac:

I would be afraid:eek: HAHA or re think my outfits.

But in actual fact she might be just really good looking girl.

Partizan

Logical Fallacy wrote: »

Okay, i'll break it down to a more simple form for you.

You have an issue with these women for not instantly telling you that they would not be available to you....did you tell these women instantly that you were not just interested in a conversation?

Basically i am asking you why you are having a problem with these women for doing exactly what you yourself were doing?

Are you a nun? seriously.

I was having a casual conversation when at the end of the night I asked her if we could meet again when the 'I got a boyfriend' line was blurted out.

What are us guys supposed to do? I mean most Irish girls I chat up employ all those mind games, they go on the defensive. You can sense it from their body language whereas the ladies from foreign shores are much more easy going and approachable. I hate to be using stereotypes here but the fact that most of my previous relationships have been with foreign women should tell you something.

I love Irish girls and if push came to shove I would settle down with one any day but ladies, please change the holier than thou attitude.

tbh

Partizan wrote: »

I was having a casual conversation when at the end of the night I asked her if we could meet again when the 'I got a boyfriend' line was blurted out.

Presumably the thoughts of persuing a relationship couldn't have been further from your mind at that point then?

Come on man, do you go up to many guys, strike up conversations with them and ask to meet them again?

You were having a casual conversation and that's grand. She didn't tell you she had a boyfriend until you asked to see her again. You asked to see her again because you were interested in her as a potential girlfriend. She told you she had a boyfriend to let you know that she wasn't available.

there's nothing high and mighty about it, you're really only proving a point by getting pissed off about it, and that point is - it wasn't just "a casual conversation", you were chatting her up. If it was just a "casual conversation" why would you have asked to see her again?

What are us guys supposed to do?

we're supposed to say "ah well, better luck next time, still, it was nice talking to you" and walk away. We're not supposed to get pissed off at the girl for not being available.

And those foreign women you were dating? at the time you were dating them, would you have been happy with them being receptive to my approaches? or would you have preferred them telling me they were going out with you as soon as I tried to start a "casual conversation" with them?

um7y1h83ge06nx

Raekwon wrote: »

Actually I have another slight angle on this excuse.

I good few years ago I was in my local pub with my mates and I noticed a really pretty brunette staring at me, even my mates clocked her throwing eyes at me and told me to go over to her. I made an approach but was abruptly halted when she blurted out: "I'm a lesbian", cue laughter from her mates :rolleyes: (Btw I knew her ex, we played on rival football teams so she obviously wasn't gay at all). I walked away with my tail between my legs and that was that.

The kicker is, a few weeks later I was in the same pub with a girl I met through a mate, I noticed the apparent lesbian and her mates were there too. After a while I went to the bar to get myself and my date drinks when I was approached by one of the mates. She told me that Miss Lesbian really fancied me and was wondering if I wanted to meet up with her I just "No thanks" we subsequently had to leave the pub because the atmosphere was getting very uncomfortable with the dagger stares that we were getting.

Just an example of immaturity and silly mind-games...........why do women bother?

Just out of interest, what age was this girl? Late teens, very early twenties maybe?

Getting her friend to be an "Intermediary" is just very immature and childish. No way would I be interested in a girl if that is her approach.

metrovelvet

You have to realise this is how a lot of girls are raised. "boys are bad. stay away from boys? who the hell was that boy you were talking to? boys only want one thing. stay away from boys. boys are bad. When are you getting married?"

um7y1h83ge06nx

metrovelvet wrote: »

You have to realise this is how a lot of girls are raised. "boys are bad. stay away from boys? who the hell was that boy you were talking to? boys only want one thing. stay away from boys. boys are bad. When are you getting married?"

Class! And so true in many cases.

Love the whole contradictory "boys are bad. When are you getting married?"

Scanlas The 2nd

XxMCRxBabyxX wrote: »

Nope this is genuinely the reason that I tend to mention my boyfriend.

I'm a lads girl. I get on way better with them and always spend most of my nights hanging out with my lad friends but I have in the past ended up in situations where I have guys interested in me and give me the impression that I have led them on when I haven't meant to do anything of the sort. I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years. I do love him and I wouldn't want to be with anyone else and I don't want other guys thinking that they have a chance either, even if I did feel anything for them. So it's easier to just casually warn them so they know nothing will happen rather than end up in an awkward situation.

Also if a girl was attracted to a guy but didn't say anything, wouldn't that just make a situation worse?

I think we are actually thinking close enough the same way just interpreting each other slightly differently tbh.

All I'm saying is this, when a woman fancies a guy chatting with her I think it's rare that she would randomly come out with "I have a boyfriend". If she does come out of no where with the line "I have a boyfriend" it is usually a pretty good sign that she doesn't fancy you. Just to clarify, I'm not saying that if a guy who the woman fancies asks her if she has a boyfriend that she would say no.

Think about this honestly, can you remember ever throwing out the line "I have a boyfriend" randomly in the conversation when chatting with a guy you are attracted to in a nightclub/pub environment?

galdon

I think there's a little too much analysing going on tbh! I'm a girl and I'd happily chat to any guy (single/not single, interested/not interested!). When I wasn't single I'd casually drop in I had a boyfriend and leave it up to the guy to walk away or not. I think anyone under 21 might get away with playing games coz they're too immature, anyone over that needs to cut out the messing, grow up, and be able to hold a conversation - its not worth anyones while being stuck up/bitchy!!!

Now I am single I'd still talk to anyone, my only problem is if you are single, how do you talk to someone on a night out who approaches you without giving them the wrong idea?! Not that I'm saying all guys are cracking onto a girl they speak to, but on a night out the majority of them are, and when you talk to much to someone they immediately assume you're interested. I spent ages talking to my ex's friend one night, had made it extremely clear I wasn't interested in him...and am now getting accused of leading him on. Same thing has happened a few times with fellas who I don't know!

Having said that, I also was out with a girl for a few casual drinks and two lads approached us. She turned her back and refused to talk, and I chatted away. She sat quietly for the next 15 mins while me and the 2 boys talked, and then spoke again when they had left...think I'd rather be accused of leading someone on than being like that!!!

Sorry for the long winded answer by the way...didn't mean it to come out quite so long!

caseyann

Partizan wrote: »

Are you a nun? seriously.

I was having a casual conversation when at the end of the night I asked her if we could meet again when the 'I got a boyfriend' line was blurted out.

What are us guys supposed to do? I mean most Irish girls I chat up employ all those mind games, they go on the defensive. You can sense it from their body language whereas the ladies from foreign shores are much more easy going and approachable. I hate to be using stereotypes here but the fact that most of my previous relationships have been with foreign women should tell you something.

I love Irish girls and if push came to shove I would settle down with one any day but ladies, please change the holier than thou attitude.

You are taking it way to personal,its not personal.It just means you didnt get the girl you liked.Maybe a first line opener would be i hope i am not bothering you have you got a bf? I dont know might work in through conversation aswell to get an idea of if she is single or not.I am sure she didnt realise as everyone here comes out with oh Irish women are so rude and stand offish.And as soon as one isnt and then tells you later she is with someone you take it as holier than though.
I am sure far from it and you are taking it as that because you felt let down she wasnt available.

Raekwon

Mariam Yellow Storyteller wrote: »

Just out of interest, what age was this girl? Late teens, very early twenties maybe?

Getting her friend to be an "Intermediary" is just very immature and childish. No way would I be interested in a girl if that is her approach.

Ah it was ages ago, she was around 22/23.

Btw I have no respect for women who have a pack mentality, they have safety in numbers and you have to impress all of her mates to give her justification to even acknowledge your approach.

metrovelvet wrote:

You have to realise this is how a lot of girls are raised. "boys are bad. stay away from boys? who the hell was that boy you were talking to? boys only want one thing. stay away from boys. boys are bad. When are you getting married?"

Very true! Plus add the whole "sex is for sluts" ancient Catholic b.s. into the mix for added mindwarping effect.

caseyann

Raekwon wrote: »

Ah it was ages ago, she was around 22/23.

Btw I have no respect for women who have a pack mentality, they have safety in numbers and you have to impress all of her mates to give her justification to even acknowledge your approach.



Very true! Plus add the whole "sex is for sluts" ancient Catholic b.s. into the mix for added mindwarping effect.

I have a question for you Raekon,do Men not slag off their mates gf etc.. girls get dumped for just that reason? And girls have to get thumbs off the male pack mentality.Oh she is taking all your time,she has you under the thumb,etc.... etc.. or wow man you pulled a minger?

I think you will find men created that mentality not religion and still enforce it and live by it and use it and in back of their minds,where as women dont judge men on how many women they had a small minority would.

Rabble Rabble

I assume that the OP is not talking about obviously sexual situations. Clearly it is totally right to say "I have a boyfriend" at a nightclub ( true, or not).

Its the other situations where it is weird. Not that I have seen it very much.

I have plenty of conversations with men and women of all ages. If I sit beside an old women as a bus stop I will talk about the weather. Same with a younger woman. You are probably not getting chatted up.

Raekwon

caseyann wrote: »

I have a question for you Raekon,do Men not slag off their mates gf etc.. girls get dumped for just that reason? And girls have to get thumbs off the male pack mentality.Oh she is taking all your time,she has you under the thumb,etc.... etc.. or wow man you pulled a minger?

I think you will find men created that mentality not religion and still enforce it and live by it and use it and in back of their minds,where as women dont judge men on how many women they had a small minority would.

It's an off topic question but I'll answer it anyway. IMO it's all down to maturity. Younger guys would be more inclined to slag off each others girlfriend choice much more then guys in their late 20's/early 30's, for obvious reasons ie: the relationships being much more serious. I've had girlfriends that one or two of my friends didn't like and visa versa but you understand that at the end of the day it's really none of your business who your mates choose as a partner. If a line is crossed then the equilibrium of your friendship and your mates relationship comes into question but most mature people usually have more respect then to push it that far.

As for male pack mentality, when men are in a group, one man usually breaks away from the group to approach a woman or group of women. When was the last time you saw a women approach a group of guys to initiate a conversation? It's a very rare occurrence.

Finally, dismissing my link between the Catholic church and the taboo of having so called promiscuous or unmarried sex among women is very real, if you want to believe it or not it's up to you, but blaming men is a total cop-out and smacks of bitterness.

XxMCRxBabyxX

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

All I'm saying is this, when a woman fancies a guy chatting with her I think it's rare that she would randomly come out with "I have a boyfriend". If she does come out of no where with the line "I have a boyfriend" it is usually a pretty good sign that she doesn't fancy you. Just to clarify, I'm not saying that if a guy who the woman fancies asks her if she has a boyfriend that she would say no.

Think about this honestly, can you remember ever throwing out the line "I have a boyfriend" randomly in the conversation when chatting with a guy you are attracted to in a nightclub/pub environment?

I have never said that. It's just stupid to blurt it out.

I was talking about casually dropping it into conversation. Just to kind of get the message across without being in their face

Rabble Rabble

Raekwon wrote: »

Finally, dismissing my link between the Catholic church and the taboo of having so called promiscuous or unmarried sex among women is very real, if you want to believe it or not it's up to you, but blaming men is a total cop-out and smacks of bitterness.

The power of the Catholic Church in 2011 for 20-30 year olds is non-existant. Another excuse is needed.

AnnyHallsal

I think a good solution to this is, casually as possible, a little bit into the conversation say, Oh my boyfriend/girlfriend says that too ... /thinks that too ... I went there with my boyfriend/girlfriend ... Then you don't have to mention it again, and everyone knows what's what. I think you'll find many find an excuse to drift away soon after

It's a debacle I've suffered myself ... you might come across as a paranoid presuming big head if the first thing you say is "I'M TAKEN!!" But some folk do get aggrieved at the thought of being led on.

If I was on the other side of the divide I'd MUCH rather they mentioned it sooner rather than later. It's disappointing to talk to a might purty lad for ages and ages, feel sparks, and then hear the clanger My girlfriend ... or worse, have a lean in rebuffed.

EDIT: I see XxMCRxBabyxX and Galdon said something similar. 'This' to that, then.

AnnyHallsal

I just remembered something relevant and mildly amusing.

A friend and I were in the Odeon a few years ago. She was approached by a guy, got chatting. She fancied him, he asked her if she wanted a drink. He held her hand (unusual in itself!), they danced, walked around the place hands held.

About an hour later she leant in for a smooch and he goes, Oh I can't I have a girlfriend. She was like, but you're holding my hand! :eek: A few hours later he approached her and asked why she wasn't speaking to him any more

twinQuins

Rabble Rabble wrote: »

The power of the Catholic Church in 2011 for 20-30 year olds is non-existant. Another excuse is needed.

And were those 20-30 year olds raised as children in 2011? Don't tell me you need someone to point that out for you.

Raekwon

Rabble Rabble wrote: »

The power of the Catholic Church in 2011 for 20-30 year olds is non-existant. Another excuse is needed.

It's not an excuse, it's called reality. People aged between 20-30 were raised by parents who were raised in the 60's and 70's and had/have a strong Catholic upbringing.

Sure even today, how many all-girl schools are run by nuns? Are you telling me that still don't preach the same outdated nonsense?

AnnyHallsal

Raekwon wrote: »

It's not an excuse, it's called reality. People aged between 20-30 were raised by parents who were raised in the 60's and 70's and had/have a strong Catholic upbringing.

Sure even today, how many all-girl schools are run by nuns? Are you telling me that still don't preach the same outdated nonsense?

They do. I'm 28. When I was in 4th class I remember being told that Madonna was a whore and we, or our parents, would go to hell if we listened to her. I wasn't too sure who Madonna even was.

Rabble Rabble

Morkarleth wrote: »

And were those 20-30 year olds raised as children in 2011? Don't tell me you need someone to point that out for you.

Dont be an utter idiot. Obviously 20-30 year olds were not born on 2011. FFS. Is that the stupidist comment ever?

Don't tell me you need someone to point that out for you.

Rabble Rabble

Raekwon wrote: »

It's not an excuse, it's called reality. People aged between 20-30 were raised by parents who were raised in the 60's and 70's and had/have a strong Catholic upbringing.

Sure even today, how many all-girl schools are run by nuns? Are you telling me that still don't preach the same outdated nonsense?

Um, right. You are not living in the 50's. I doubt there is a single nun teaching in an school "run by nuns". There were bog all religious teaching when I was been educated in Ireland in a Catholic school in the early 90's, before I moved to England.

The actual world you live in is not the Catholic controlled society you think it is, and Irish girls from 20-30 are about as promiscuous as anywhere else. However, in no society is promiscuity in women as celebrated as it is in men. Catholic or not.

The whole **** about blaming Catholicism for everything has got to stop.

Howard the Duck

One solution might be to casually ask the female in question if she has a boyfriend. If you've been talking/flirting for a little while it wouldn't be too hard to ask in a jokey manner.
I've found myself checking for wedding/engagement rings when i speak to girls these days. I think thats kinda depressing.

Raekwon

Rabble Rabble wrote: »

Dont be an utter idiot. Obviously 20-30 year olds were not born on 2011. FFS. Is that the stupidist comment ever?

No point in arguing with you if you are going to resort to personal insults. Morkarleth made a good point too.

tbh

Rabble Rabble wrote: »

Dont be an utter idiot. Obviously 20-30 year olds were not born on 2011. FFS. Is that the stupidist comment ever?

Don't tell me you need someone to point that out for you.

Watch your tone. If you can't be civil, you're not posting in this forum. I won't take the trouble to warn you again.

Logical Fallacy

Partizan wrote: »

Are you a nun? seriously.

I was having a casual conversation when at the end of the night I asked her if we could meet again when the 'I got a boyfriend' line was blurted out.

So how did she end up wasting your time?

A casual conversation has no agenda, your "she was wasting my time" angle implies you wanted a casual conversation to become something else, in which case it's not a casual conversation.

Do you see what i am getting at here?

Basically you both had different social goals, neither of you were in a position to instantly and outright state those goals because it would come across as pushy, arrogant or whatever so what you had was basically a normal interaction with a person, you just misunderstood each other.

The fact that you need that explained to you says it all.

Scanlas The 2nd

Howard the Duck wrote: »

One solution might be to casually ask the female in question if she has a boyfriend. If you've been talking/flirting for a little while it wouldn't be too hard to ask in a jokey manner.
I've found myself checking for wedding/engagement rings when i speak to girls these days. I think thats kinda depressing.

I think you'd be surprised how many single women wear fake wedding rings.

Malari

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

I think you'd be surprised how many single women wear fake wedding rings.

And many single women are not superstitious about wearing rings on the "wedding" finger either, not necessarily fake wedding rings! I don't think the finger is a good indicator of anything. Unless it's the middle one and is pointing upwards in your direction :eek:

Scanlas The 2nd

Malari wrote: »

And many single women are not superstitious about wearing rings on the "wedding" finger either, not necessarily fake wedding rings! I don't think the finger is a good indicator of anything. Unless it's the middle one and is pointing upwards in your direction :eek:

I know two women who wear rings on their wedding finger to keep guys away.

stupidusername

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

I know two women who wear rings on their wedding finger to keep guys away.

eeeeek. I used to wear my mams engagement ring for a while, and still do sometimes, but never even thought of it as a deterrent! maybe this is where I've been going wrong....

Handsome Bob

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

I know two women who wear rings on their wedding finger to keep guys away.

Ha, I'd be surprised if most guys even noticed, unless the woman was making it abundantly clear.

py2006

LZ5by5 wrote: »

Ha, I'd be surprised if most guys even noticed, unless the woman was making it abundantly clear.

I actually never think to look at rings! Women wear rings all the time anyway! So I wouldn't know the difference!

stupidusername

there was a guy chatting me up in a pub a few months back and we were talking away, next thing he went to grab my hand, and said "awh! awh does that mean..." when he saw the ring on my finger. so some men do notice some of the time :pac: