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5 year old and my Partner

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  • 09-02-2011 11:38pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi all,

    Looking for advice on children's relationships with their step-parent.

    My son is 5 and i'm with my partner for nearly two years and expecting our first baby together in a few months.
    My sons relationship with my partner has always been rocky, my son doesn't like to see us kiss, showing affection in his presence and doesn't want to involve my partner in anything apart from when he wants it. It's like a competition to push my partner out and have me all to himself. he calls him names, doesn't listen to him.However the only time he does listen and have a good time is when him and my son spend time together without me there, he loves one-on-one attention. I think he wants control over the situation has a lot to do with it because he can't control some aspect of the situation?

    My partner tells him off but my son won't listen and this is very frustrating for him and it really stresses me out that they can't just get along. My partner really does try with him but it's not happening, I can see both of their sides but it's very hard to see whats going on in my sons head when he can't communicate his emotions or feelings.

    He see's his dad once a week and he loves and looks up to him so much. I guess he is his role model. We broke up when I was pregnant with my son so he never experienced us three being a family.

    Any suggestions on how they can bond?or reduce arguments and keeping everyone happy. I'm not even sure if that's possible but i'm hoping for a brighter tomorrow.


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    #2
    mumto3
    Closed Accounts Posts: 97 ✭✭mumto3


    I met my partner when i had two kids from a different relationship,my youngest was only 2,and we have never had problems with him,and my oldest son was 4 at the time,so i know what you are going tru.
    My son is 11 now and has been tru the 'your not my dad,so dont tell me what to do' stage,which really hurt my partner as he has raised him all these years,while his real father took a back seat.
    I think your son and your partner need to spend as much time together as they can,doing some sort of sport together or even just building something together in the garden.Your son needs to bond with your partner and your partner needs to earn his thrust and respect,maybe if they picked a certain day,say friday evening,that was 'their time',and if it as consistant,so everyone knows where they stand.He is testing the boundries which is why he is acting up with you around.
    It will take time regardless,its a big thing in a childs life and you have to expect some acting up,but this will pass,if handled right.
    good luck :)


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