Young diabetic struggling

snausbaby

Hi, my son was diagnosed Type 1 just over 16 months ago and is still struggling to accept it. He is aged 11 and finds it very difficult to deal with not eating snacks whenever he feels like it; especially when so many of his friends eat sweets/crisps constantly.

There has been a few episodes of sneaking sweets, where "helpful" friends have felt sorry for him and given him things, and a week where he was overdosing to generate a low, to get juice and biscuits after school.

Unfortunately whenever we pull him up on these issues, his response is along the lines of "I hate my life", temper tantrums and sulks.

Any suggestions/tips on how he can live with friends scoffing junk or even how I can deal with the parents? (He has already been "dropped" off a number of party invites and hates feeling different).

Can anyone tell me how long it took them to accept their condition?

Our dietician suggested a physcologist but that seems a bit extreme to me.

Thank you.

CathyMoran

snausbaby wrote: »

Hi, my son was diagnosed Type 1 just over 16 months ago and is still struggling to accept it. He is aged 11 and finds it very difficult to deal with not eating snacks whenever he feels like it; especially when so many of his friends eat sweets/crisps constantly.

There has been a few episodes of sneaking sweets, where "helpful" friends have felt sorry for him and given him things, and a week where he was overdosing to generate a low, to get juice and biscuits after school.

Unfortunately whenever we pull him up on these issues, his response is along the lines of "I hate my life", temper tantrums and sulks.

Any suggestions/tips on how he can live with friends scoffing junk or even how I can deal with the parents? (He has already been "dropped" off a number of party invites and hates feeling different).

Can anyone tell me how long it took them to accept their condition?

Our dietician suggested a physcologist but that seems a bit extreme to me.

Thank you.

I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes when I was 10, we had to use a syringe then and I could not cope with giving the insulin myself for over a year. I found that some of my class mates who had all been told about my condition and that I could not eat sweets were still trying to get me to eat them and there was a lot of taunting and bullying.

There are really good sugar free alternatives for some of the party foods now - sugar free jelly is great and the thing is that your son should be able to eat a relatively normal if a slight bit healthier diet - if you could speak to the parents before hand to arrange more appropriate but still fun food at parties?

In terms of how long it took to accept it - well, the teenage years were tough but once I was given adequate advice and information as to how to manage my condition and was made aware of the consequences of not looking after it, that helped me.

It is not an easy condition (especially as a child) but there are a lot worse things. For me now I let myself have the anniversary of diagnosis as a day that I allow myself to be upset by it but otherwise I do not tend to get upset by it...this Sunday is 26 years and my life has moved on so much that it really is not a big deal. Yes, it affects me every day (moreso as I am pregnant) but I have grown so used to testing and taking insulin that it is as natural to me as breathing.

graflynn

I really feel for your son. I mean it's hard enough being 11 without having diabetes. It sounds like he has all these negative feelings about his diabetes and doesn't know how to express them. A physcologist doesn't seem extreme to me especially for a child who is have to grow up sooner than they should. And if one visit to a physcologist means that he can figure out how to deal with the upheaval then wouldn't it have been worth it?

I think if I had someone to help me talk it out back when I was first diagnosed it would made a huge difference to me.

This is a huge coincidence but I met a lady this week who's 9 year old daughter was diagnosed last year who has a similar problem. She said her daughter became so angry that they couldn't communicate and she was resisting the testing & injections. She took her daughter to a Craniosacral Therapist - I'm still not sure what that it but she said that her daughter talked, talked & talked to this lady and she came out a completely different child.

On the birthday parties - to ensure he doesn't feel different you could come up with a plan with him before hand about how much he was going to eat. Do a deal so to speak and then you can give him his insulin according to the deal. He may not be able to have as much as the other kids but he should still be able to eat whatever he wants. The other parents, for now, should be made aware of the signs of a hypo and what to look for - just in case.

I hope you get lots more advice here on the boards so that you don't feel like you only have one choice.

graflynn

P.S. Mayo Parents Support Group have a facebook page and have 20 members who could offer you advice.

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=747796000&ref=name#!/pages/Mayo-Parents-Support-Group/153488244685133

Conas

It's awful sad to be honest. People love their sweets, and a child loves them even more. I know you could always try alternatives, but it just isn't the same. It's going to be hard for him to come to grips with it to be honest. It's so sad they don't have a cure for this condition.

cynder

snausbaby wrote: »

Hi, my son was diagnosed Type 1 just over 16 months ago and is still struggling to accept it. He is aged 11 and finds it very difficult to deal with not eating snacks whenever he feels like it; especially when so many of his friends eat sweets/crisps constantly.

There has been a few episodes of sneaking sweets, where "helpful" friends have felt sorry for him and given him things, and a week where he was overdosing to generate a low, to get juice and biscuits after school.

Unfortunately whenever we pull him up on these issues, his response is along the lines of "I hate my life", temper tantrums and sulks.

Any suggestions/tips on how he can live with friends scoffing junk or even how I can deal with the parents? (He has already been "dropped" off a number of party invites and hates feeling different).

Can anyone tell me how long it took them to accept their condition?

Our dietician suggested a physcologist but that seems a bit extreme to me.

Thank you.

Hi, welcome to the club!

My lady was diagnosed at 7, 4 years ago on the 25th of this month. She is 11 now.

We have good days and bad days, good weeks and bad weeks. SHe used to attend limerick but now she is attending dublin, she was admitted for a week in December and the psychologist wants to see her every 3 months (when she has a diabetic appointment up there). She also hate being diabetic. Its also caused some friction between us as i have to constantly be at her to look after herself.

She went through the phase of over dosing on insulin to give her self a hypo so she have something sweet (most kids go through that phase), she doesn't do that now. I dont know what insulin regime he is on some allow for snacks others dont. Chicken, egg and cheese have no carbs and can be eaten at anytime, i know they dont want to snack on those.


Its a long long road but eventually they get there. We are still only half way down that road at 4 years. She also went through the phase of not wanting to inject and i had to chase her round the house threatening to stab her with it if she didn't take the injection.


I would take them up on the offer a seeing a psychologist, if gives them someone to off load too.

If you ever want to talk pm me.

eilo1

Hi snausbaby,

Sorry to hear about your son. I was diagnosed at 11 and am 25 now. I remember school days being hard and going to birthday parties and not being able to have all the sweets the other kids could. But to be honest my parents never really denied me anything. My Dad is a Type one as well. So he would always say to me that there is nothing I couldn't have I just had to time it. For instants I would have a treat after sports. He would always go on about how I didn't have a disease either it was just a condition. For some reason that was comforting.

I used to see a therapist in the hospital when I was about 13 because I was acting up, not taking shots or testing etc. I found it a great help and would definitely recommend you bring your son, what the worst that can happen?

He will be grieving for his previous life and has had a traumatic life change, Im sure some counselling will help him and you.

I hope this helps!!

snausbaby

Dear all

thank you so much for your responses; I think I will try and sort out a therapist if he wants to, before the services disappear! If he is not sure, I'll try and get at least a meeting for myself for some tips.

My son was originally discharged from hospital in time for Halloween, poor ducks, so a good time to have his "angry time".

I have been trying to educate friends parents with mixed results, one sent him home last weekend with 3 bags of crisps and a cream egg - still at least she sent them home as opposed to giving them to him on the sleepover .

Best regards

Plenty

Hi snausbaby

I was diagnosed at the age of 13 and I now I'm 34, so I (and a lot of the posts here) know all about it. It was difficult starting secondary school and dealing with a life changing condition at the same time.

It's good that some mothers are giving treat bags to your son. Even though they may not understand entirely what's allowed or not, he's not being excluded. It's tough to try and control the urge to scoff the lot on the way home from the party. It would help if he understood the symptoms of his condition. If he did eat all of the sweet, how does he feel? Get him to explain what happens to his body and how to remedy it. If a little bit of control is given to him or a better understanding, he might respect the condition just that little bit more. I'm sure you're not scolding him for what he's doing. But if he can explain why he's doing it and how his body is reacting to what he's doing. If he understands that some kids has have asthma, there are some things that they can't do. He will understand in time. It's how much time it will take from him to understand, that's the difficult part.

The idea of the psychologist is a good idea. I have a cousin who was diagnosed with Type 1 at the tender age of 5. He won't eat simply out of fear. He remembers when he was first diagnosed of all the food that made him feel sick, so now he won't eat them. It's heart breaking for his mother who can't get him to eat at all. All he drinks is lucozade because he knows that makes him feel better. I hope it doesn't get as drastic at that.

I've done the trick of purposely dropping my levels so I could have a bar of chocolate. I think all diabetics do as some point, but I gained so much weight because of that and disappointing look from my dietician as well when I told her

There is no harm in contacting the diabetic team in the hospital he attends or the Diabetes Federation of Ireland for help.

GlennGeo

Hi I was diagnosed when I was 9 . I was a very good child and I stuck to my diet and I was very nervous about it at that age.

Im no doctor but my advise is that you should have a long sit down chat with your child and tell them of the dangers . My doctor told my parents that it gets worse when they are in their teens and it did for me as i started sneaking things like sweets and bars when i hit about 14 or 15.

Diabetes is a very serious condition and the effects are lethal my uncle passed away due to illness that he picked up from not looking after himself as a young person.

Its also good to get your childs friends and explain to them how serious this condition is. My friends new and they would never ask or offer me sweets.

Anyway I hope this helps
and best of luck

opinion guy

snausbaby wrote: »

even how I can deal with the parents? (He has already been "dropped" off a number of party invites and hates feeling different).

Gotta say - behaviour of these parents appalls me. Can it be soooo hard for them to buy a few sugar free alternatives for a party ? Better for the rest of the kids too not to eat sugar laden junk