Help with Baby Shower!

iluvcake

Hi ladies,

I'm very new to boards, as you can see from my number of posts! I find it very helpful for ideas, opinions etc.

My predicament at the moment is I have been asked to organise a surprise baby shower for one of my friends....I haven't a clue where to start really?
Who do I invite? Is there food at it? Is it a full day thing that heads into night? Obviously she won't be drinking but is it ok for the rest of the girls to booze the night away? Is there a limit to how much people spend on gifts? I was bridesmaid at her wedding last year so kinda feel obliged to give her a good baby shower and also as she mis-carried last year I would really like to make this special for her.

My friend's mam said we can have it at her house so the venue is fine.

Any suggestions for me plz???? Your ideas/opinions would be very much appreciated!:)

P.S. Mods, not sure if I'm in the right place here or not, please re-locate me if I'm not! Thanks..:)

The Lovely Muffin

The Parenting forum might be a better place to ask.

A mod may move this topic there if you ask them to

Chuchoter

A baby shower? Thats so American! :P

From what I've gathered from 16 and Pregnant (they're always having baby showers) it seems to be like a birthday party with cake except all the presents are for the baby. I don't think its a thing you'd do much drinking at. The presents seem to be like clothes or lots and lots of nappies, so I don't know how much they cost.

iluvcake

We're becoming SO american like, oh my god!:D

So it's not done here much is it? I've never been to one, just remember seeing one on "Sex and The City" before.

I've no doubt my friend will not be boozing but some of her in-laws would definitely make it into a boozing event!

P.S. Mods, move me if needs be as per the suggestion by Purple Bobbin? :-)

rainbow kirby

Moved from tLL -> Parenting

ggrr1970

STOP STOP STOP!!!!!

This has to be nipped in the bud. There are just too many Americanisms creeping in here.

LegacyUser

Have to agree. I cringe at this. Its an american concept that has no place here!! I worry a bit that you say this is a "surprise" shower so Im guessing your friend doesnt know? Im pregnant at the moment & would be horrified if anyone did this to (for) me! Its like basically asking people to come over & give me lots of presents. When she has the baby people will automatically want to come see the baby & bring a gift. I really dont think they should be asked to! Please reconsider op! (ps I feel the same about "bridal showers" , its so bloody cheeky!)

January

Who asked you to organise the shower?? It's not the "done" thing in Ireland, but some people do do it.

Basic nibbles like sandwiches, cocktail sausages, wedges etc and a cake usually.

Lots of balloons (if she knows the sex then blue/pink as appropriate, if not, cream/white/yellow/green)

You basically give a small practical present (some people like to give muslin cloths, nappies, babygrows etc)

Other mammies "give advice" (although some of it may be patronising and unwelcome!).

Boozing really isn't acceptable... it's all about the mammy to be and you don't want her feeling left out.

iluvcake

Hi Ladies,

Thanks for all the replies:D. My friends mam and her cousin asked me help to organise it so I'm just assuming my friend would be up for it! I really don't wanna pee my friend off so I will talk to her mam and see, don't wanna upset her or anything.
Also....they (my friend and her mam) have just come back from visiting family in the states (they were there for a few weeks on hols!) so I'm thinking that's where her mam got the idea!!! Cos I thought it wasn't that popular here tbh!!
Thanks again for the feedback ladies:)

How Strange

I've just had my baby and personally the idea of an organised event gor me when I was huge and very very uncomfortable wouldve been my nightmare but each to their own.

If someone had organised an event on my behalf and had alcohol at it so others were boozing I think I'd have been very pee'd off. Tea/coffee and some nice cakes are the best options IMO.

One thing I'd say is that a lot of Irish
people are superstitious about getting
baby presents before the baby is born. Again, personally speaking I got a couple of presents beforehand but didn't open them until after the arrival.

lynski

I had one 4 yrs ago mostly because i also moved house just before baby arrived so it was kind of a girly house warming more then a baby shower.
Had lots of food and some wine, but not boozing IYKWIM,
My bf 'organised' it, as in sent out invites and answered qs, but i gave her the guest list and gift/wish list. IT was a good way for people to get you what you need instead of some random outfit afterwards. and good girly bonding for the generations.
Had a ball TBH, and some friends asked if i would do it again for my 2nd, just never got around to it.
This time I had an unofficial one the other night, all the girls over for a takeaway curry and a natter, they drank plenty, but I just loved the company. no pressies tho.

munchkin_utd

ggrr1970 wrote: »

STOP STOP STOP!!!!!

This has to be nipped in the bud. There are just too many Americanisms creeping in here.

agree 100%

Ireland is not the nation of dancing at the crossroads, cloth caps and pint bottles of guiness with a cork in the top.

BUT...........
Its not the 51st state of the US either!!!!

p.s.
will someone tell Jedward that too.

astra2000

munchkin_utd wrote: »

agree 100%

Ireland is not the nation of dancing at the crossroads, cloth caps and pint bottles of guiness with a cork in the top.

BUT...........
Its not the 51st state of the US either!!!!

p.s.
will someone tell Jedward that too.

Totally agree, also I am of the opinion that this is basically a tacky way of asking people for gifts.

Ayla

OP, if the family is requesting this party, then go ahead & do it.

IMO, surprise birthday parties are no "tackier" - you're expected to gift either way.

Baby showers, although not generally done here (due to antiquanted superstitions), are very low key. Some cakes/buns/sandwiches and tea are perfectly acceptable. No drinking - it's not fair for the guest of honour. It's generally a late morning/early evening party and doesn't have to last more than a couple hours.

There are some "games" that can be played, but they're generally horrible. Much more pleasant would be a simple guest book in which all the guests could put some words of advice or support to the new mom. Presents are quite small (generally nappies, babygros, newborn supplies - basically what everyone would be bringing the new mom after the birth). Decorations are also very simple - balloons, tabletop confetti, etc, although if you get excited about it you can make a "nappy cake" - look it up on u-tube.

Showers are really just a casual gathering of friends to support the new mom. It doesn't have to be anything embarrassing or "American" (gasp!).

astra2000

Ayla wrote: »

OP, if the family is requesting this party, then go ahead & do it.

IMO, surprise birthday parties are no "tackier" - you're expected to gift either way.

Baby showers, although not generally done here (due to antiquanted superstitions), QUOTE]

Suprise birthdays are generally held for special occassion birthdays ie 21st 30ths, and it is more the norm here than baby showers. A baby shower will put pressure on the guests to buy an extra present afterall who would turn up to see a close friend/family members baby without bringing something no matter how small. Also there is the christening gift which at least family will usually give, a shower is putting extra pressure on. As for the antiqueted superstitions you refer to, actually its a real fear and unfortunatly reality for lots of pregnant women that something may go wrong. Most mums I know have only ever bought the necessities until the baby actually came along.
However each to their own if you decide to help out op maybe you could make it a little pampering day for the mum to be and all her guests. All the best to your friend and her new baby.

Das Kitty

The OP asked for ideas for a baby shower, not whether to have one or not, can we stay on topic?

Rosy Posy

I think a baby shower is a lovely thing to do for your friend. It doesn't have to be american and cringy. A lot of my friends have had them and been really tasteful and nice. Basically you should pamper the mother and make her feel special. Invite all the women in her life, family and friends that she would feel comfortable with. You don't have to go nuts with the gifts. A lot of my friends already have kids so it often ends up that people bring really nice hand-me-down newborn stuff. Babies grow so much in the first month that the really small stuff is hardly worn so you should be able to pick some up reasonably if you don't have friends with stuff to pass on. Depending on how crafty you and your friends are some of these personal gifts are nice- a blanket where everyone knits or sews a patchwork square, or you can get a ready made plain baby blanket and each person applique a heart or patch in a different fabric, a mobile where everyone makes/buys a different charm. This might be a bit hippy for you but each person could give a gift of a small candle and a prayer/poem for the mother to light and say when she is in early labour. You could also find out from her oh or herself one thing she really needs- maybe a moses basket or cloth nappies (if she wants to use them) and do a whip round everyone- this can be more practical than a load of individual gifts that she might already have. At the shower itself you could have a special comfy chair for her at the centre of attention and set up a foot bath, someone give her a manicure, foot rub, shoulder massage etc. Depending on your budget you could get someone in from a salon or just do it yourselves. A nice game to play (also a bit hippy) is to take a ball of wool and wind it around each person's wrist in turn, then someone says a few words to the effect that the yarn represents the umbilical cord and everyone in the group should keep it on their wrist until the baby is born. Each time you look at it you should send your good thoughts and intentions for the baby and the birth. Then you cut the yarn so everyone is left with a little bracelet. Just a few ideas, sorry if they're too out there for you but I think its a wonderful thing to do for your friend. I certainly appreciated it!

bernyh

There are lots of peeps on Facebook who organise events and can cater for baby showers

or search www.bumpstobooties.com who have some lovely personalised things....

hth

btw this is not my facebook page