High marks in HL English

JamJamJamJam

I have a question about paper two English answers!

I normally write my answers using fewer points, explaining each one in depth, and I've got A1s from my teacher for essays like this. Howeverrr, I saw a post recently (by ddyradd) giving A1 poetry essays that the poster had written for last year's Leaving Cert. Unlike my essays, each paragraph had many quotes and lots of smaller points (all somewhat related, but separate nonetheless) with each point explained more briefly.

Which method do you think would work better?



Here is a random example paragraph from that post's Yeats essay, which was given 50/50. I numbered each separate point:

(1) I am also attracted to Yeats’ treatment of nature. In “Lake Isle of Inisfree” Yeats shares his longing for the calmness and tranquillity of his boyhood haunt Inisfree. This ambition is vividly drawn in the opening line a firm declaration of intent “I will arise and go now and go to Inisfree”. Yeats seems here to want an idyllic existence. (2) However, it is Yeats fabulous use of sound that really appeals to me in this poem. Yeats crafts the hypnotic sound of Inisfree’s shoreline “I hear lake water lapping with low sounds by the shore”. This hypnotic feel is created by Yeats blending cacophonous alliterative and assonantal sounds. I just love how he relies heavily on the hexameter to give this line a stately and antiquated feel. (3) Yeats appeals to all my senses in this poem. Whenever I read this poem I feel like I can hear the “cricket sing”, smell the “honey-bees” and see “the purple glow”. (4) A similar reflection on nature can be found in “The Stare’s Nest by my window” where Yeats glances to the abundance in the natural word for a glimpse of continuity. The lack of unity in the world is vividly suggested in an almost Eliotian reliance on past participles: “The key is turned” “We are locked in”. (5) What I like here is how Yeats appeals to the “honey bees” to “come and build in the empty house of the stare”. This trait in Yeats poetry really appeals to me. It reminds me that no matter what happens, I can always look to the natural world for a sense of continuity.

And here is an example of a paragraph from an essay I wrote on Emily Dickinson. There is basically one point, and fewer quotes:

As a student living more than a century after her death, I did not expect to find such a generous myriad of these perennial themes in Dickinson’s poetry. However, studying her work, I was surprised to meet so many recognisable subjects; topics so applicable to my world. The notion of removing ones self from society links particularly with students of my age. There is such expectation of sixth year students to limit their social engagements to dedicate themselves to study. Dickinson also increasingly withdrew herself from society to become to an extent emotionally self-contained. For instance, although the manifest description in ‘I felt a Funeral in my Brain’ depicts an actual funeral service perceived through the ebbing sensations of a dead person, the latent content conveys a terrifying account of the poet alone, “solitary”, suffering from some horrific anguish or mental quagmire. Dickinson completes the separation from reality interestingly with the coarse image of “a Plank in Reason” breaking as she falls helplessly into irrationality. I found this ‘numb’ sensation of plunging into the unknown familiar from the ostensibly endless ‘World’ of study in sixth year.
I'm not asking which paragraph is actually written better, but just used these to illustrate each approach kinda... So, what do you think? More quotes and points, with less explanation, OR more brief quotation with one point and this point explained more thoroughly.

I'm inclined to think the former would work better...
English is hard

seriouslysweet

Yours I think. I generally write fewer points in depth, too many leaves it a bit confusing I think.

captainjack

It's a lottery in my opinion.

I got an A1 in Higher English at the Leaving, I had failed or scraped by in the 3 sets of mocks beforehand.

I went through my paper with my English teacher afterwards, in her words my work wasn't worth even a B but she reckoned the examiner liked my style of writing....

So in relation to your question, I don't know how to get high marks but I hope you are lucky like I was!

partyatmygaff

I keep it to at most two related points per paragraph. More than that and it can easily lose coherency.

GoldRush4821

If your teacher is giving you A1s then clearly your approach is just as valid as the one you are comparing yourself with. Of course quotes are important but I feel it's better to explore a few points in great detail than superficially going through too many, and I'm sure that's what the majority of correctors would like to see also. Yes English is hard, yet your writing style above has just devalued my estimation of my own English prowess xD Good job tho, if you write like this in the leaving I can't see you getting less than an A2..

spurious

If your teacher has corrected and is giving you A1s then you should be fine. If your teacher has not corrected they may not be aware of the standard needed.

JamJamJamJam

GoldRush4821 wrote: »

If your teacher is giving you A1s then clearly your approach is just as valid as the one you are comparing yourself with. Of course quotes are important but I feel it's better to explore a few points in great detail than superficially going through too many, and I'm sure that's what the majority of correctors would like to see also. Yes English is hard, yet your writing style above has just devalued my estimation of my own English prowess xD Good job tho, if you write like this in the leaving I can't see you getting less than an A2..

Thanks! That's cool to hear! :-) And honestly don't feel like your writing might be less up to any standard - my writing is normally far worse than that, but I put a loooad of work into that essay!

I'll ask my teacher about it, but at the moment we have pres and then mid term..

Thanks again :-)