Dirty Stories From nightclubs

divinelady

What about the sheep ???

Monty Burnz

flas wrote: »

think now, after most publicans after doing up nice smoking areas and the likes it could work here, a night out say instead of what we have now which is people going out at say half 9, and drinking as much as they can by 2 then all arriving out on streets at same time! with a bit of thought and changing the licencing times the scens of people falling around the place and fighting over taxis would be few and far between. sure, for the first few weekends some people would still act like fools and try to drink as much as they could all night but after a little while they would start to see there is no rush and drink within their own timescale! just my opinion though!

Do you really think that allowing people to drink later (which I have no problem with) will deal with the real problem, which is Irish binge-drink culture? I just don't.

By the way, the photo of the guy ****ting at the ATM in Clonmel is epic. His mother must be so proud.

zynaps

Monty Burnz wrote: »

Do you really think that allowing people to drink later (which I have no problem with) will deal with the real problem, which is Irish binge-drink culture? I just don't.

I don't think he was suggesting that it would "deal with" our binge-drinking cultural problem:

flas wrote: »

with a bit of thought and changing the licencing times the scens of people falling around the place and fighting over taxis would be few and far between. sure, for the first few weekends some people would still act like fools and try to drink as much as they could all night [...]

Obviously, dumping a bunch of drunken, hormonal and often aggressive young men onto the streets at the exact same time is not a superb idea (although it might keep a lot of emergency dentists in business). At least that could be mitigated?

Also, agreed about ATM poo-man. It looks like's doing a ballet pose, and seems to be literally wiping his arse on the wall as he pukes. Now that's efficiency... :P

phill106

from that bebo link from last page

http://www.bebo.com/c/photos/view?MemberId=5123471940&PhotoAlbumId=7071473790&PhotoId=7736744711#photoId=7730638603

Shiroki

This thread is gold :P

foggy_lad

Years ago when I was young free and single in the George before it was made all posh I rode a lad in the cubicles and about 40 minutes later was getting a blow job at the bar upstairs where the cloakroom was, anyone for spotted dick?

Big Nasty

foggy_lad wrote: »

Years ago when I was young free and single in the George before it was made all posh I rode a lad in the cubicles and about 40 minutes later was getting a blow job at the bar upstairs where the cloakroom was, anyone for spotted dick?

You one of the lads who ghot fcuked out of that pub in Cork? :pac:

smash

I saw a chick getting finger banged against the DJ booth on the dance floor in lilles a few weeks ago, was hilarious.

TrollHammaren

foggy_lad wrote: »

Years ago when I was young free and single in the George before it was made all posh I rode a lad in the cubicles and about 40 minutes later was getting a blow job at the bar upstairs where the cloakroom was, anyone for spotted dick?

I don't know much about gay bars, but isnt the George supposed to be a cesspool akin to 21s, Redz, or Coppers?

The House Of Wolves

The amount of girls getting fingered in the teenage discos was unreal!
My friend, 14 at the time, had sex on the chairs, the plastic chairs that would be set out for the bingo the next night.:eek:
We ended up pulling her off because literally the whole hall stopped to cop a oul stare.:pac:
And not really dirty but hilarious, one couple shifting, the girl bent at 90 degrees to the side for reasons beyond me, the poor fella bending his knees to reach down.

fontanalis

charlemont wrote: »

Im happy to oblige, Have a look at this photo, Its from Parnell St Clonmel

He took a dump and got sick in one go, Dirty fúck..

Is that a Jackson Pollack on the wall?
What a scumbag!

looder

Ledger wrote: »

Yea real classy people used to grace Ruby's on a wednesday night.

Saw some young one givin a fella a hand job in the middle of the packed dancefloor one night there too.

This wasn't long before it was sold and closed.

Rubys was tame compared to Ten.

benway

Not much that I can add to the glory of this thread ... except ...

sideofbacon wrote: »

Man yogurt?Which I call frogurt.

Brogurt.

Stiffler2

Not a nightclub but I was at Gods Kitchen yrs ago. Everyone was off their faces on xtc.

Big Q for the jacks, was coming out the door. Anyway I join this Q.
After a few mins the guy in front of me must be dying because he takes it out and pisses on the back of the guy in front of him. Said guy in front is also off his face and notices nothing.

I start to question my brain at this stage, Did I just actually see that or am I also off my face ( which I was Oh Yeah - (god times) ) - Pun intended.

Anyway the guy that was in front of me that took the piss is finished and leaves the Q. Me eyeing up this dodgy looking character in front of me with piss on his back. I can choose to explain to somoene from Sheriff St. what just happened or I can leave this Q in case he notices and thinks it was me.

I left the Q needless to say, will never ever forget that though, it was a lol

Jonah42

One of the guys got sick into his pint. He left it on the bar, and a few minutes later one of them drink stealers necked it:o

44leto

Jonah42 wrote: »

One of the guys got sick into his pint. He left it on the bar, and a few minutes later one of them drink stealers necked it:o

WHAAAAaaaaaaaaa puke

Absolutely disgusting I would not even wish that on the despised drink takers.

heffo500

In Ayia Napa last summer and we went to a night club called castle. It had a huge dance floor with a balcony above it which circled the entire dance floor.

Any way we were up on the balcony and these cracking birds started shifting each other. A few of us were had a quick glance anyway they eventually went away and my friend said "Jesus I couldn't stop myself" and I said "What?" and he proceeded to tell he had a **** while standing beside me watching the two birds shifting and ejaculated straight off the balcony down on to the people dancing on the dancefloor below.

I couldn't believe he did it and I still can't believe it now.

Monty Burnz

heffo500 wrote: »

I couldn't believe he did it and I still can't believe it now.

If it's any consolation, I don't believe it either. :pac:

heffo500

Monty Burnz wrote: »

If it's any consolation, I don't believe it either. :pac:

Honestly its the truth. Can't look at him now without thinking about what he did.
Why would I make it up there is some absolute gems in this thread without the need for me to be making stuff up.

Another story from that holiday was one of the lads with his girlfriend went back to his apartment to find one the lads out cold on his bed and the fellas girlfriend convinced him to get up and take a **** on the poor fellas chest. Your man woke up the next day and thought it was dried curry sauce and proceeded to pick it off his chest.

frag420

Classy bird!! I wonder if she is available now?

heffo500

He's still going out with her to this day.

TrollHammaren

I was working at a "reputable establishment" on New Year's Eve and it got a wee bit messy. There was a massive queue to the toilets, so after throwing a few women out of the men's toilets I skipped the queue with the usual, "sorry lads - security - gonna have to skip you!" A chap walked out of one of the cubicles, pissed out of his brain, saw my badge and muttered something about there not being any toilet roll. I saw a five euro note on the floor and flipped it over to discover it was covered in shíte. The bástard had wiped his arse with a fiver and left it clean side up on the floor for some unfortunate drunkard to put it in his pocket. Dirt bird.

poisonated

TrollHammaren wrote: »

I was working at a "reputable establishment" on New Year's Eve and it got a wee bit messy. There was a massive queue to the toilets, so after throwing a few women out of the men's toilets I skipped the queue with the usual, "sorry lads - security - gonna have to skip you!" A chap walked out of one of the cubicles, pissed out of his brain, saw my badge and muttered something about there not being any toilet roll. I saw a five euro note on the floor and flipped it over to discover it was covered in shíte. The bástard had wiped his arse with a fiver and left it clean side up on the floor for some unfortunate drunkard to put it in his pocket. Dirt bird.

Did you kick the fecker out

TrollHammaren

poisonated wrote: »

Did you kick the fecker out

No, the place was packed so by the time I found the shítty fiver he had already been absorbed by the crowd.

I have a load of filthy stories from my work, but I can't think of any more off the top of my head right now. I'll add more as I recall them!

lefthooker

seamus wrote: »

All this talk of ****e and lapdancers reminds me of a story a mate told me.

They're on a stag in Barcelona and go into one of those live sex shows. Not lots of people there, just seems to be them and a group of british lads on a similar stag-type setup.

So they do their thing, and then one of the ladies in her altogether proclaims to the audience that it's impossible to take a **** while someone's blowing on your arsehole. And she's willing to prove it to anyone who wants a go.

So she lies down on her back and invites people up. Sure enough, one of the english lads gets up, pants down, squatting over her face. She says "Go" and starts blowing and no matter how hard he tries, nothing.
He gives up, another guy doesn't believe it, up he goes, pants down, "Go!". Pushing and pushing, still no joy.

After 3 or 4 guys have tried it, this one huge fat bastard, sweating and panting with the effort of talking, goes up. Stands over her face, pants down, and before she even has a chance to say anything, he lets fly with the widest, smelliest spray of crap that could only be produced by 3 days of lager and curries.

The show did not go on.

I still fall off my chair every time read or even think about this post:D:D:D:D:D
Funniest Boards post EVER

DoesNotCompute

lefthooker wrote: »

seamus wrote:

All this talk of ****e and lapdancers reminds me of a story a mate told me.

They're on a stag in Barcelona and go into one of those live sex shows. Not lots of people there, just seems to be them and a group of british lads on a similar stag-type setup.

So they do their thing, and then one of the ladies in her altogether proclaims to the audience that it's impossible to take a **** while someone's blowing on your arsehole. And she's willing to prove it to anyone who wants a go.

So she lies down on her back and invites people up. Sure enough, one of the english lads gets up, pants down, squatting over her face. She says "Go" and starts blowing and no matter how hard he tries, nothing.
He gives up, another guy doesn't believe it, up he goes, pants down, "Go!". Pushing and pushing, still no joy.

After 3 or 4 guys have tried it, this one huge fat bastard, sweating and panting with the effort of talking, goes up. Stands over her face, pants down, and before she even has a chance to say anything, he lets fly with the widest, smelliest spray of crap that could only be produced by 3 days of lager and curries.

The show did not go on.

^
This is an urban myth.

lefthooker

DoesNotCompute wrote: »

^
This is an urban myth.

I won't argue that with you but the kid inside me still gets a good giggle from it

seamus

DoesNotCompute wrote: »

^
This is an urban myth.

I would agree with you if I hadn't been told the story from someone who was there.

Of course to the rest of you it's a third-hand story, so you can consider it urban myth if you wish.

frag420

I am that guy!!

Babybuff

I know a guy claims to have lost his virginity on stage in a stripclub, with a dancer in Sydney. He was 26 at the time and hadn't so much as kissed a girl before that. Said she pulled him up on stage and just rode him right there in front of everybody. True story.