Dirty Stories From nightclubs

poisonated

I'm sure it is a true story

Babybuff

poisonated wrote: »

Babybuff wrote: »

I know a guy claims to have lost his virginity on stage in a stripclub, with a dancer in Sydney. He was 26 at the time and hadn't so much as kissed a girl before that. Said she pulled him up on stage and just rode him right there in front of everybody. True storyQUOTE]

I'm sure it is.

the claim part being the true part. The guy couldn't get his hole in a monkey sanctuary.

minidazzler

heffo500 wrote: »

Honestly its the truth. Can't look at him now without thinking about what he did.
Why would I make it up there is some absolute gems in this thread without the need for me to be making stuff up.

The reason you would make it up is the same reason anyone makes stuff up on AH, for the thanks. It's what this place functions on.

Babybuff wrote: »

I know a guy claims to have lost his virginity on stage in a stripclub, with a dancer in Sydney. He was 26 at the time and hadn't so much as kissed a girl before that. Said she pulled him up on stage and just rode him right there in front of everybody. True story.

I'd agree he would claim that, because since he never fcuked someone her grinding on his crotch = sex to him. But how does one get to 26 without sex? Jimmy Carr excluded because he chose not to.

DoesNotCompute

seamus wrote: »

I would agree with you if I hadn't been told the story from someone who was there.

Of course to the rest of you it's a third-hand story, so you can consider it urban myth if you wish.

Heard it myself manies a time from "people who where there"!

syklops

DoesNotCompute wrote: »

Heard it myself manies a time from "people who where there"!

I have about 3 friends who were the "original" guy who the traveller told them to "lob it up there sham".

Giselle

Babybuff wrote: »

The guy couldn't get his hole in a monkey sanctuary.

My new favourite expression.

luckyfrank

Duggy747 wrote: »

On one night out I went for a piss at the urinals when next thing this ferocious smell hit me, I mean, it was horrific. It was like all the oxygen was sucked out of the club, replacing it with this rancid odour you'd probably associate with a dead body found in the trunk of a car on a hot summer's day!

Anywho, I finish up strangling the worm and turn around to the bouncer who's pissing himself laughing at a cubicle. I asked him what he was laughing at, he kicks open the door and the next thing I saw put me straight off my drink.

Good...........grief...............the previous user of the cubicle must've been flipping and spinning all over the place, shooting bodily fluids from every hole in his body. It was a sight to behold!! There was nothing but shìt and vomit running down the walls, big brown handprints smeared everywhere, the toilet bowl on the outside covered in vomit, the inside of the bowl overflowing with stained toilet paper.............sitting there like snow on a mountain peak. To top it off, on the ground there was a pair of boxers covered in a thick layer of brown goo and a puddle of, presumably, piss.

Rancid fùcker!! The black guy I knew in the toilets who does the fragrances and all that was told to clean it up but when he saw it he roared out: "AH AM KNOT CLEANING TAT UP!!!!"

Poor guy.

wasnt the blacker was it?

rgmmg

Jimmy Careful Waistband wrote: »

seen a girl been lick by a guy, she was standing up, v.naughty

Don't mind him, it's only good old Ulick Magee

brummytom

Jesus Christ, I need to move to Ireland.

fullstop

brummytom wrote: »

Jesus Christ, I need to move to Ireland.

Or Sydney

GHOST MGG2

A long long time ago in the Ilac centre..a friend of mine:-p
was as a result of a bet, giving his girlfriend one in the see thru lift
being egged on by a crowd of people downstairs looking up.
Needless to say security eventually had to switch off the power to the lift
to get them out.

frag420

GHOST MGG2 wrote: »

A long long time ago in the Ilac centre..a friend of mine:-p
was as a result of a bet, giving his girlfriend one in the see thru lift
being egged on by a crowd of people downstairs looking up.
Needless to say security eventually had to switch off the power to the lift
to get them out.

Going down?

TobyRyan

How about a fella get a **** beside the DJ box and then the lady in question gets a high five (literally) from her friends after...

Dermighty

I was working in a nightclub (bouncer) and there was a guy with his phone held up to his ear ont he dancefloor, he was falling around the place. Nothing new there except that he was taking a piss into the crowd :P

DubDJ

This dirty act was photographed in Quinns Drumcondra recently.

Couldn't embed the image on this thread for some reason?

John Doe1

DubDJ wrote: »

This dirty act was photographed in Quinns Drumcondra recently.

Couldn't embed the image on this thread for some reason?

Ah Quinns, such as classy establishment

Doom

jester77 wrote: »

I remember the night club over the old Savoy cinema in Limerick, the carpet was like velcro, dirty place that was!

Ha ha I remember that place, sticky carpet. The jacks used to overflow out the door.

IPA

there were a ton of bars located near my university that got shut down because there was ecoli growing because the sewage was leaking down from the bars that were on top of them. lol.

yesman32

Shes lost her contacts but I don't think probing her up there for them is helpful.

Jimbob 83

When i was 15 in Kiltimagh teen disco i sat leasurely on the sofa as some bird gave me a blowjob in full view, one of my classmates looked at me from the side, instant legend status

The following 2 weeks later went back she came up with her friends /ignore

Winning

Ahh the feckin 90's

crazyguy01

I must have been in some very boring places.......no good stories:(

Smidge

[


One of the strangest stories happened at the end of the night a few months ago, when most of the patrons had left. As usual, a few stubborn fúckers sat around, nursing their pints while we all waited for them to leave. All of a sudden, a large woman comes running over to me with a panicked look on her face and asks me to follow her. I ran with her until we got to the ladies toilets, at which point she ran into one of the cubicles and locked the door. I just thought "what the fúck?" before hearing a plopping sound. I shouted, "are you all right?", to which she responded, "I'm grand, how are you?"

Fúckin' weirdo.[/QUOTE]

:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

That_Guy

frag420 wrote: »

I am that guy!!

You wish.

frag420

Foiled again!!

Damn underscores!!

STANDCLEAR!!!

working at a debs one night, went in to check bogs for any bodies, when the attendant pointed to a cubicle! anyway went to POP me head over the side and there is this young lad smashed sitting asleep with jocks around ankles full of and I mean full of feces and vomit! and the smell was atrocious!

I called one of the lads in to give me a hand get him out and he puked with the stink! anyway I let a couple of roars at him and banged the door when his eyes opened in shock! he jumped up and pulled the jocks up and started to belt up when he realised what was in his jocks and it started running over his shoes!

His Daddy wasn't too happy when we told him to take a change of clothes to collect his son!

Nikky_Bellic

DubDJ wrote: »

This dirty act was photographed in Quinns Drumcondra recently.

Couldn't embed the image on this thread for some reason?

I've said it before and i'll say it again especially when it comes to topics about what defines a "slut"

But imagine if you met her 3 days after that photo was taken & you start dating her

_AVALANCHE_

Nikky_Bellic wrote: »

I've said it before and i'll say it again especially when it comes to topics about what defines a "slut"

But imagine if you met her 3 days after that photo was taken & you start dating her

I thought only the girls with a good head on their shoulders wore those nice flat shoes. Oh well.

Nikky_Bellic

_AVALANCHE_ wrote: »

I thought only the girls with a good head on their shoulders wore those nice flat shoes. Oh well.

As in, what do I know? / can deduct from that picture?

_sparkie_

I was in Prague with some friends a few months ago and one of the guys starts chatting to the oldest woman in the bar, she looked about 60 and she was there to see her daughter dance (the daughter was a bar dancer). Anyway, my friend keeps talking to this old one for about an hour and then he starts motorboating her and she loves it. Within about 20 minutes of this he is sitting on her shoulders arse naked with everyone in the club cheering as she carried him around the bar. That image will forever be burned into my memory.

Quinns is a good spot but never realised it could be that good