Dirty Stories From nightclubs

Ledger

Banjaxed82 wrote: »

Was in Q-bar many years ago and saw a guy whip out his Charles Bronsan while ordering a pint, then proceeded to piss all over the bar. Lovely.

I don't know how anybody has a thought like that and then thinks, yea that's a good idea.


No matter how pissed i've been (pun not intended :pac:) I've never thought urinating all over the bar might be a good idea!

D'Agger

I love reading these nightclub threads but they always leave me with a sense I'm missing out on a load of hand shandys & BJS











fap,fap,fap,fap,fap

Plazaman

Worked as a bouncer at teenage discos for a couple of years. Apart from been jealous the sort of things that was happening then didn't happen in my day, I was shocked at what was going on. My teen disco years were filled with thrills such as slow dancing arms lenght apart and maybe getting a brush of boob at the start or end of song. Nowadays it's all snowballing, bushing, rainbowing, lollipoping, carouseling and twinkling. I always laughed at the Mammies dropping their little angels off in baggy jumpers and jeans which were ditched for some greyhound skirts for the duration and reclothed at the end of the night.

WolfForager

Plazaman wrote: »

Nowadays it's all snowballing, bushing, rainbowing, lollipoping, carouseling and twinkling.

I have some idea what snowballing is, but did you make up the rest?

minidazzler

Plazaman wrote: »

Worked as a bouncer at teenage discos for a couple of years. Apart from been jealous the sort of things that was happening then didn't happen in my day, I was shocked at what was going on. My teen disco years were filled with thrills such as slow dancing arms lenght apart and maybe getting a brush of boob at the start or end of song. Nowadays it's all snowballing, bushing, rainbowing, lollipoping, carouseling and twinkling. I always laughed at the Mammies dropping their little angels off in baggy jumpers and jeans which were ditched for some greyhound skirts for the duration and reclothed at the end of the night.

What in the name of fook are these? I'd consider myself fairly well versed in sexual terms but I am confused!!!

d1975

not so much as dirty things I seen,


I was in the Q to get into rumors on O'Connell Street and this B**ch jumped the Q and gave me a dirty look, anyway an hour into the night club I had a nice red shirt (so did the staff) and the same said woman called me over and gave me £20 to get smokes for the machine, anyway decided to get my jacked and head else where

Big Nasty

WolfForager wrote: »

I have some idea what snowballing is, but did you make up the rest?

Urban Dictionary is your friend!

twinytwo

seamus wrote: »

All this talk of ****e and lapdancers reminds me of a story a mate told me.

They're on a stag in Barcelona and go into one of those live sex shows. Not lots of people there, just seems to be them and a group of british lads on a similar stag-type setup.

So they do their thing, and then one of the ladies in her altogether proclaims to the audience that it's impossible to take a **** while someone's blowing on your arsehole. And she's willing to prove it to anyone who wants a go.

So she lies down on her back and invites people up. Sure enough, one of the english lads gets up, pants down, squatting over her face. She says "Go" and starts blowing and no matter how hard he tries, nothing.
He gives up, another guy doesn't believe it, up he goes, pants down, "Go!". Pushing and pushing, still no joy.

After 3 or 4 guys have tried it, this one huge fat bastard, sweating and panting with the effort of talking, goes up. Stands over her face, pants down, and before she even has a chance to say anything, he lets fly with the widest, smelliest spray of crap that could only be produced by 3 days of lager and curries.

The show did not go on.

i havent laughed so ahrd in weeks

Plazaman

WolfForager wrote: »

I have some idea what snowballing is, but did you make up the rest?

These were the terms bandied about and whilst we caught and removed several offenders in various acts, bouncers of the age 30+ are obviously reluctant to ask a 13 or 14 year old to explain what the terms mean. However, they were explained by a female bouncer only last year (don't know if the are region specific or specific to certain types of discos). Cringingly here we go....

Rainbowing : A group of girls wearing different shades of lipstick collar a lucky lad for a job of the blow each and leave him with a badge of honour
Snowballing : Another lucky lads receives a bj from a girl who contains his excitment in her mouth and seeks out another (very unlucky) chap for a french kiss
Bushing : The art of attracting a lad to dance etc by opening legs when sitting down across from him with no undergarments and a short skirt
Carouseling : Two/Three lads, one girl. She goes from one to the other in quickie style and stays the night with the lucky lad who blows his load in her
Lollipopping : Can't remember exactly what this is (or blocked it from mind) but similar to rainbowing
Twinkling : A golden shower in teen speak but something to do with UV lights at a disco - urban myth imo.

Ya see, you learn something new everyday.

minidazzler

Plazaman wrote: »

These were the terms bandied about and whilst we caught and removed several offenders in various acts, bouncers of the age 30+ are obviously reluctant to ask a 13 or 14 year old to explain what the terms mean. However, they were explained by a female bouncer only last year (don't know if the are region specific or specific to certain types of discos). Cringingly here we go....

Rainbowing : A group of girls wearing different shades of lipstick collar a lucky lad for a job of the blow each and leave him with a badge of honour
Snowballing : Another lucky lads receives a bj from a girl who contains his excitment in her mouth and seeks out another (very unlucky) chap for a french kiss
Bushing : The art of attracting a lad to dance etc by opening legs when sitting down across from him with no undergarments and a short skirt
Carouseling : Two/Three lads, one girl. She goes from one to the other in quickie style and stays the night with the lucky lad who blows his load in her
Lollipopping : Can't remember exactly what this is (or blocked it from mind) but similar to rainbowing
Twinkling : A golden shower in teen speak but something to do with UV lights at a disco - urban myth imo.

Ya see, you learn something new everyday.

Most of those are bullshido, except the bushing one and lollipopping does happen, though it's just tossing salad really.

Twinkling probably doesn't happen purposely in clubs!

Jesus, if 15 year olds are getting up to this they are ahead of me though, and I get up to some weird sh1t! :P

jester77

Plazaman wrote: »

These were the terms bandied about and whilst we caught and removed several offenders in various acts, bouncers of the age 30+ are obviously reluctant to ask a 13 or 14 year old to explain what the terms mean. However, they were explained by a female bouncer only last year (don't know if the are region specific or specific to certain types of discos). Cringingly here we go....

Rainbowing : A group of girls wearing different shades of lipstick collar a lucky lad for a job of the blow each and leave him with a badge of honour
Snowballing : Another lucky lads receives a bj from a girl who contains his excitment in her mouth and seeks out another (very unlucky) chap for a french kiss
Bushing : The art of attracting a lad to dance etc by opening legs when sitting down across from him with no undergarments and a short skirt
Carouseling : Two/Three lads, one girl. She goes from one to the other in quickie style and stays the night with the lucky lad who blows his load in her
Lollipopping : Can't remember exactly what this is (or blocked it from mind) but similar to rainbowing
Twinkling : A golden shower in teen speak but something to do with UV lights at a disco - urban myth imo.

Ya see, you learn something new everyday.

Damn, I was born 20 years too late. "Smell my finger" was about as dirty as it got back in my day

saywhatyousee

LETHAL LADY wrote: »

Once saw local dealer obviously sampled too much of his own product coming out of mens toilet with sh***y underpants wrapped around his fist completely spaced out. Swiftly removed by disgusted bouncers oh how we all pointed and laughed.

that can happen when taking mdma when your coming up all your body muscles relax ect i know one lad it happend too.it was in a house though not a night club

Helix

grungepants wrote: »

Ive done some filthy things...Frankies bistro...

The toilets were like something out of trainspotting!Never the less me and my then girlfriend went to the jacks and i began to kiss her on lips..he he...but not the lips on her face...i mean her flower.

Also we went to the oak once togeter and i told her to come to the toilets with me cause i wanted to fcuk her.We were so loud the girls using the toilets ratted us out to the bouncer.When we came out of the jacks we were politely asked to leave.

Ah i love sex in public places,you dont often find a girl whos a voyer.

yeah im willing to wager that never happened based on how forced the writing is

kiddums

So this sums up most of this thread so far:


http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=70019057&postcount=7303

stovelid

Plazaman wrote: »

rainbowing

Please don't let this be what I think it is.

Edit: saw the post above. It's not what I thought.

DoesNotCompute

stovelid wrote: »

Please don't let this be what I think it is.

Edit: saw the post above. It's not what I thought.

Which begs the question: what did you think it was? :eek:

nosey rosie

Back in the 1990's, there was a place in Temple Bar called The Rock Garden. Had a good few nights in it, without too much incident. Then one Sunday my friend and I went for a Sunday stroll... saw that it was open for lunch and went in. We'd just stepped into the (dimly lit ) hall, but couldn't go further due to a disgusting stench...We looked round and there was a man squatting and having a huge sh*t just in behind the front door.

Funfair

Ledger wrote: »

That wouldnt be much better, believe me i deliver them, you should see the state of some of the cases and the storerooms in some places, absolutely disgusting. i would never drink from a bottle.

Rather take my chances with rats p!ss.. then human jizz, p!ss and sh!te, guys getting BJ's and hand jobs and every 2nd fecker getting sick all over the place.

Not to mention the people licking toilet seats and urinals and sh!ting in pints of Guinness..:eek: feck that I'm sticking with the bottles :pac:

Nolanger

I know a guy from the Rock Garden who was manning the door/curtain to the upstairs nightclub. One night some tosser arrives and demands to be let in for free. A row erupts and the tosser starts shouting, the promoter arrives, and the tosser gets into the club for free. Then the next guy in the queues starts demanding "how come he gets in for free and we don't?" So the guy on the door pulls across the curtain and lets eveyone in without paying! The dirty part was that one of the female managers there used to give the bouncers head in the jacks during the clubnight.

Funfair

Nolanger wrote: »

I know a guy from the Rock Garden who was manning the door/curtain to the upstairs nightclub. One night some tosser arrives and demands to be let in for free. A row erupts and the tosser starts shouting, the promoter arrives, and the tosser gets into the club for free. Then the next guy in the queues starts demanding "how come he gets in for free and we don't?" So the guy on the door pulls across the curtain and lets eveyone in without paying!

What is this part for ^


The dirty part was that one of the female managers there used to give the bouncers head in the jacks during the clubnight.

Up-n-atom!

What language is this?

The Joyce of boards has spoken!

Seriously though, my vocabularly has multiplied since i started reading this thread...

Dudess

Meh, I've no doubt that today's teens are some bit more sexually advanced than their counterparts of 20 years ago, but (a) I doubt all that snowballing stuff is anywhere near as widespread as the tabloid media says it is, and (b) Teens 20 years ago weren't particularly innocent either. The past can be viewed from a perspective that doesn't necessarily correlate with what was the reality.

DoesNotCompute wrote: »

Which begs the question: what did you think it was? :eek:

Vomiting on is what first came to my mind...

ottostreet

Worst I've seen really is a girl out of her head, taking a **** behind a club in Athlone.
Was lovely.

D'Agger

ottostreet wrote: »

Worst I've seen really is a girl out of her head, taking a **** behind a club in Athlone.
Was lovely.

To look at or taste??

milehip1

Funfair wrote: »

And I was wondering why after some weekends out how I get cold sores on my lips.. suprised someone don't get Cholera off the glasses in Nightclubs after reading the horror stories on here :eek:

I'll be drinking long neck Bottles in future..

me too, wont be sitting on any couches either.

Toots

Was in Redz years ago, noticed these two riding away on one of the couches, the girl was absolutely out of it, and when the guy finished, he got up and walked off, leaving her lying there with her knickers around her ankles and her dress pushed up around her chest. She was completely locked and wasn't making any attempts to set herself to rights, just lying there with it all hanging out. So after a few minutes myself and a friend decided we'd go over and help sort her out, but as we got there she sat up and told us she was grand. We walked off, next thing, not two minutes later, there's another guy on top of her and she's off again. Saw her again later on "dancing" with another guy, she'd lost her knickers at this stage and was wrapped around him on the dance floor with the dress up around her waist. I'm pretty sure they were doing the nasty, but I didn't stick around to be sure.

questionmark?

Toots* wrote: »

Was in Redz years ago, noticed these two riding away on one of the couches, the girl was absolutely out of it, and when the guy finished, he got up and walked off, leaving her lying there with her knickers around her ankles and her dress pushed up around her chest. She was completely locked and wasn't making any attempts to set herself to rights, just lying there with it all hanging out. So after a few minutes myself and a friend decided we'd go over and help sort her out, but as we got there she sat up and told us she was grand. We walked off, next thing, not two minutes later, there's another guy on top of her and she's off again. Saw her again later on "dancing" with another guy, she'd lost her knickers at this stage and was wrapped around him on the dance floor with the dress up around her waist. I'm pretty sure they were doing the nasty, but I didn't stick around to be sure.

Good auld Kerry Katona :eek:

TrollHammaren

I've been working part-time as a doorman at a Dublin nightclub (which will remain unnamed) for nearly four years, so I've seen all kinds of horrible stuff, most of it in the ladies toilets. I probably can't top some of the gowl/depraved stories mentioned earlier so I'll just tell the funny ones.

One night, I was at one of the side doors and I just saw a man go flying out of the manager's office, with what I later discovered was piss going everywhere, and I looked in the door to see that one of the bar staff had thrown him out. I grabbed him to escort him out of the club, just to find that he had his lad out and he said "let me put my penis back in". Turns out he somehow managed to get through the coded door into the manager's office, and started pissing against a wall, before the barman came in and found him.

Another night, the washing machine in one of the alcoves just outside the back door was leaking, so the floor staff put down a blanket of tissue to prevent people slipping. This tissue eventually got dragged out into the puddles outside in big wet balls. Later, I had to remove some woman for being too drunk. When she got outside, she had this indignant look on her face, before reaching into the puddle, picking up the big, wet balls of tissue and putting them into her handbag. She then walked off with a satisfied look on her face. I was utterly confused.

One of the strangest stories happened at the end of the night a few months ago, when most of the patrons had left. As usual, a few stubborn fúckers sat around, nursing their pints while we all waited for them to leave. All of a sudden, a large woman comes running over to me with a panicked look on her face and asks me to follow her. I ran with her until we got to the ladies toilets, at which point she ran into one of the cubicles and locked the door. I just thought "what the fúck?" before hearing a plopping sound. I shouted, "are you all right?", to which she responded, "I'm grand, how are you?"

Fúckin' weirdo.

evillive

not so dirty as kinda surreal

was taking a piss in the boys room in Fibbers (it may have been before it was actually called fibbers - but i digress)

there must have been a major queue for the ladies, as these two girls come in stand side-by-side beside me, drop their knickers, lean back and piss away, i'm looking over at this, theres a guy the other side of the row doing the same - and we continue to enjoy the show - i still dont the girls even tried the cubicles, they were blitzed, and to be fair to them i dont think there wasnt any spillage or splashing

TrollHammaren

evillive wrote: »

not so dirty as kinda surreal

was taking a piss in the boys room in Fibbers (it may have been before it was actually called fibbers - but i digress)

there must have been a major queue for the ladies, as these two girls come in stand side-by-side beside me, drop their knickers, lean back and piss away, i'm looking over at this, theres a guy the other side of the row doing the same - and we continue to enjoy the show - i still dont the girls even tried the cubicles, they were blitzed, and to be fair to them i dont think there wasnt any spillage or splashing

Ah, that's ok, then