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Is it right for an attached or married men to 'check out' other women?

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Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,349 ✭✭✭✭starlit


    Didn't I read in another thread that you would want a big expensive wedding with a pretty expensive engagement ring etc etc? If you ask me that is overstepping it a bit so it isn't just men living in a fantasy world.

    Good you remembered that... :o I don't really want a big white expensive wedding...I'd elope or have small quiet wedding if I wanted. Money isn't everything. Its the quality of a ring and sentimental value is important to me and its a once off investment and wouldn't want to have to upgrade it, once off is enough and I'm not expecting to cost a bomb, a reasonable decent price for quality is all I'd ask. It doesn't have to break the bank like. Its a ring its real. Porn isn't real its a fantasy but sex is real and when it comes a reality it is totally different to porn. Men and women live in fantasy worlds everyday of their lives when they dream while asleep..unkown world of the unconscious mind where their minds run wild with their imaginations.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,187 ✭✭✭GeorgeBailey


    Millicent wrote: »
    when you're forcing 2,000 year old morals into modern discussion, you might do well to actually consider what you're saying and quoting.

    Was he forcing or just quoting?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 68,317 ✭✭✭✭seamus


    If I had a partner, I be ok with it but for him not to dwell on it too much its only fantasy not reality and if played out in reality its difficult to do and live up to that expectation. Fantasy is different to reality men forget that and sometimes overstep the mark.
    The "forgetting fantasy" fallacy is the same one that has been used to claim that heavy metal turns people into Satan worshippers and Grand Theft Auto causes people to go around robbing cars and killing people.

    You'll find that quite early on in life we develop the ability to distinguish fantasy from reality and anyone who is incapable of doing so is probably suffering from some form of mental illness.

    "Men forget that and sometimes overstep the mark" is so unbelievably sexist and incorrect I don't know where to start.

    In reality porn and "checking out" other women serves little more than titillation for men. We are quite adept at separating the "I like that" from the "I need that".

    It would be incorrect to say that a man looks at a girl and finds her attractive but wouldn't be interested in shagging her. Given different circumstances (i.e. singledom), he would jump at the chance. But he prefers his wife/partner.

    The same goes for women. They check out men just as much as men check out women, and the same rule applies - if they were single, they'd take that hot stranger somewhere quiet and have some fun.

    Relationships become a whole lot more fun (and more sexually charged) when both parties take their egos down a notch and accept that they are not the most attractive person on the face of the planet, and yes my partner does find other people attractive.


  • Posts: 0 CMod ✭✭✭✭ Musa Long Waste


    Between this thread and the "why doesnt everyone get married at the same time" thread I seriously wonder :confused:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,349 ✭✭✭✭starlit


    seamus wrote: »
    The "forgetting fantasy" fallacy is the same one that has been used to claim that heavy metal turns people into Satan worshippers and Grand Theft Auto causes people to go around robbing cars and killing people.

    You'll find that quite early on in life we develop the ability to distinguish fantasy from reality and anyone who is incapable of doing so is probably suffering from some form of mental illness.

    "Men forget that and sometimes overstep the mark" is so unbelievably sexist and incorrect I don't know where to start.

    In reality porn and "checking out" other women serves little more than titillation for men. We are quite adept at separating the "I like that" from the "I need that".

    It would be incorrect to say that a man looks at a girl and finds her attractive but wouldn't be interested in shagging her. Given different circumstances (i.e. singledom), he would jump at the chance. But he prefers his wife/partner.

    The same goes for women. They check out men just as much as men check out women, and the same rule applies - if they were single, they'd take that hot stranger somewhere quiet and have some fun.

    Relationships become a whole lot more fun (and more sexually charged) when both parties take their egos down a notch and accept that they are not the most attractive person on the face of the planet, and yes my partner does find other people attractive.

    Good to know all that!:cool:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 865 ✭✭✭MajorMax


    I have been with the same woman for 19 years, married her 8 months ago and if I pass a good looking woman I will turn to my ex-girlfriend/current wife and ask her "Did you see the t!ts on her!" or something like that.
    I have done this from day one and my ex-girlfriend/current wife knows that I am only looking


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,349 ✭✭✭✭starlit


    Now you're moving the goalposts. You initially mentioned "checking out" another woman. That to me means seeing another tasty bird and giving her a quick look up and down and taking in all the curves and contours. This can be accomplished in a second or two and can be disguised as mere curiosity.
    Now you are bangin' on about gawking and thinking about another woman during sex and flirting.


    bluewolf wrote: »
    Between this thread and the "why doesnt everyone get married at the same time" thread I seriously wonder :confused:

    Yes, I do have a disorganised mind..:( yet curiosity gets the better of me.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,165 ✭✭✭deisedave


    Is it right lol its as natural as farting or going to the toilet:cool:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,349 ✭✭✭✭starlit


    MajorMax wrote: »
    I have been with the same woman for 19 years, married her 8 months ago and if I pass a good looking woman I will turn to my ex-girlfriend/current wife and ask her "Did you see the t!ts on her!" or something like that.
    I have done this from day one and my ex-girlfriend/current wife knows that I am only looking

    I hope thats all it is, then I'm ok with that.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,145 ✭✭✭LETHAL LADY


    He tried it once he now has permanent use of a guide dog.:cool:


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,598 ✭✭✭✭prinz


    seamus wrote: »
    It would be incorrect to say that a man looks at a girl and finds her attractive but wouldn't be interested in shagging her. Given different circumstances (i.e. singledom), he would jump at the chance. But he prefers his wife/partner..

    Not always. There are a lot of people I find physically attractive, that I wouldn't be at all interested in sleeping with. In fact that would go for the vast majority of people in my case. Some people have higher standards than looks alone.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 68,317 ✭✭✭✭seamus


    prinz wrote: »
    Not always. There are a lot of people I find physically attractive, that I wouldn't be at all interested in sleeping with.
    Well it gets more complicated when you add in people that you know.
    True, there is also the pretty -v- sexy factor. Cheryl Cole (or whatever her name is) for example is pretty, she's attractive. But for me there's very little sexual spark there, I wouldn't be very interested in sleeping with her at all. Now if I was single, there'd be no hesitation (because being single means taking it when you can get it), but removing the "desperation" factor, I'd choose a sexy but less pretty women over Cheryl Cole any day.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,080 ✭✭✭Gunsfortoys


    He tried it once he now has permanent use of a guide dog.:cool:

    Ah there is no need to call yourself that...


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,598 ✭✭✭✭prinz


    seamus wrote: »
    Well it gets more complicated when you add in people that you know. True, there is also the pretty -v- sexy factor. Cheryl Cole (or whatever her name is) for example is pretty, she's attractive. But for me there's very little sexual spark there, I wouldn't be very interested in sleeping with her at all. Now if I was single, there'd be no hesitation (because being single means taking it when you can get it), but removing the "desperation" factor, I'd choose a sexy but less pretty women over Cheryl Cole any day.

    Yeah that would be more my position. I find people attractive and sexy and check them out, but the sexual spark aspect would be absent by and large. I find strangers gorgeous from time to time but wouldn't lust after them in the 'I want to jump their bones' way. My wife knows this so it's not an issue between us (I'd have no issue acknowledging handsome fellas either). Randomers and strangers just don't do it for me beyond taking notice.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,381 ✭✭✭fakearms123


    Your in a relationship not a prison, men and women are naturally attracted to the opposite or same sex, not saying you should be checking out women the whole time in front of your women, there needs to be a line of respect there ;)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,559 ✭✭✭Millicent


    Was he forcing or just quoting?

    Forcing. No one else brought up religion.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,162 ✭✭✭giant_midget


    I never get caught staring at my girlfriends sisters fine arse...im deadly! :pac: :pac:


  • Posts: 0 CMod ✭✭✭✭ Musa Long Waste


    Yes, I do have a disorganised mind..:( yet curiosity gets the better of me.

    less "disorganised" more "worrying"


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,160 ✭✭✭Kimono-Girl


    Your in a relationship not a prison, men and women are naturally attracted to the opposite or same sex, not saying you should be checking out women the whole time in front of your women, there needs to be a line of respect there ;)


    i agree 100%

    respect is the key.


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