Things you can do down the country that you can't do in Dublin.

yuloni

This post has been deleted.

Sticky_Fingers

thomasj wrote: »

Things you can do down the country?

What's wrong with the top half?

I hear it's haunted by unquiet spirits that cannot move on until they have made peace with the past, I think their called Shinners and Unionists.

storm2811

ejmaztec wrote: »

Drink three bottles of whiskey and have a drunken struck-off vet remove your appendix for 5 euro.

A while ago I had an abcess in one of me teeth and I was dying from it but the dentists appointment wasn't for two days.
Mam came in one evening and said
"well I'm just off the phone to eilish and she knows a fella who'll take it out right now, he's a bit dodgy though"
"why?"
"well he's an equestrian dentist but he'll do the job"

Lando Griffin wrote: »

Attend at least 1 funeral a week and tell the grieving widow that “he looks happy”.
Drive down the road at 40 kmph while all the time be looking into your neighbours fields and not once look at the road.
Have no indicators on your timber trailer that you have since 1978 and repaired with pallets.
Be still not talking to your neighbour because of the civil war.

I laughed so much at that.:pac:

Daegerty

storm2811 wrote: »

"well he's an equestrian dentist but he'll do the job"

did he?

Bruthal

storm2811 wrote: »

A while ago I had an abcess in one of me teeth and I was dying from it but the dentists appointment wasn't for two days.
Mam came in one evening and said
"well I'm just off the phone to eilish and she knows a fella who'll take it out right now, he's a bit dodgy though"
"why?"
"well he's an equestrian dentist but he'll do the job"

My lovely horse, running through the field
Where are you going, with your fetlocks blowing in the wind?

I want to shower you with sugar lumps, and ride you over fences
Polish your hooves every single day, and bring you to the horse dentist

storm2811

Daegerty wrote: »

did he?

Feck no, I waited for the dentist appointment!

phill106

storm2811 wrote: »

A while ago I had an abcess in one of me teeth and I was dying from it but the dentists appointment wasn't for two days.
Mam came in one evening and said
"well I'm just off the phone to eilish and she knows a fella who'll take it out right now, he's a bit dodgy though"
"why?"
"well he's an equestrian dentist but he'll do the job"




I laughed so much at that.:pac:

Daegerty wrote: »

did he?

think he said neeeiiiggghhhh

juma

masturbate while driving

reallyrose

Stare beady eyed and full of suspicion out the kitchen window at a car driving back and either say:
"Who's that there driving down the road?"
Or
"What's John-joe doin' driving down the road at this hour?"

Having the neighbour call you to tell you the cattles are out.
Going down to road to find out they are not your cattle.
Put them back into your neighbours field anyway.

Bruthal

storm2811 wrote: »

Feck no, I waited for the dentist appointment!

Imagine the extracting pliers he would of used, id say that would make us change our mind even if we were tempted.

Son Of A Vidic

NeedaNewName wrote: »

Take a poo in a field and wipe your arse with a dock leaf.

Ah the good old days, unfortunately a dock leaf is as rare as a solvent Irish bank today.

Daegerty

Corvus Maximus wrote: »

Ah the good old days, unfortunately a dock leaf is as rare as a solvent Irish bank today.

still plenty of it around where no farmer has been to spray it yet

Ditch

storm2811 wrote: »

A while ago I had an abcess in one of me teeth and I was dying from it .....

As ye do! :eek: But; When ye farted, did it sound like " Honda " ?

Only, I have heard it said that abcess makes the fart go honda .....



Alright. I'm leaving anyway .....

Irish Guitarist

Walk twenty feet without seeing a McDonalds.

Standard Toaster

Irish Guitarist wrote: »

Walk twenty feet without seeing a McDonalds.

Walk twenty feet and come across another Supermac's

LambsEye

Monkeh wrote: »

20 feet between each Supermacs

10 feet between each Supermacs rip offs: "Superdines," "Supermackys," "Superbites," "Supermics."

epgc3fyqirnbsx

Honda 50's

juma

Tell the jackeens to touch the electric fence for the craic!

Godsentme

You havn't lived till you've had a roide in a haybarn.;)

MonkeyDoo

See the Horizion!

Love the title of this thread

x in the city

step out of your car and have a piss while looking at a horse in the field...

DeVore

Escape to Dublin.


DeV.

lucozader

As described in my big fat gipsy wedding?

dilbert2

AskMyChocolate wrote: »

Wait on a crossroads for someone to come along.
Leave your change on the bar.
Play a game of pool with a couple of young lads.
Lose, and buy a bottle of red lemonade for the winners.
Buy a bottle of red lemonade.
Ask a complete stranger has he a tip for the 4.40 at Navan.
Rub your hands together when a plate of stew is put in front of you.
Blame Dublin.
Elect Michael Lowry.
Be told by your Auntie, that the only reason that you're getting stew at all is because "Your mother's a friend of mine"
Wash up
Go to Mass
See your great-auntie Brid
Wait at a different crossroads
Bond with your uncle who has an accumlator going.
Tell everyone that your mam is grand.
Visit a cemetary.
Waste half an hour chatting a girl up only to find she's your cousin.
Give out about your closest neighbours
Get the roide in Hayes' hotel while explaining to a young one how it was all fields down there.
Go to mass.
Fry up everything that couldn't walk from the previous night.
Miss your cousins.
Be strangely sad on the train.

Stare down a butcher. "Those chops are a bit fatty Michael"
Be beady-eyed.
Win two extra chops.
So AHer's what have I missed?

Ah, the culchies aren't so bad really.

Daegerty

See cylinders of gas for sale outside every shop you pass.

Truley

Have awesome outdoor hobbies, kayaking, surfing, mountaineering, kitsurfing etc

Chairman Meow

Get anally raped by inbred culchie hillbillies

Horse_box

Truley wrote: »

Have awesome outdoor hobbies, kayaking, surfing, mountaineering, kitsurfing etc

I do all these things in Dublin, surfing ain't the best though, it has to be said!

Sykk

I've never in my life, met a Dub that doesn't like or judges me from being from Meath.. Sure there's some serious slaggin's between us but that whole stereotype that Dubs don't like culchies is a load of bollox, in my generation anyway.

PS:

Do your shopping in the local without your wallet and tell the manager to "Put it in the book".

c_man

Things you can do down the country that you can't do in Dublin.

Lick your lips in anticipation of going to Dublin to get a fine feed in Kylemore Cafe as soon as you arrive there.

Most of us have to wear bibs due to all the drool on the train/bus up to the big shmoke.

Horse_box

Actually I think non Dublin people have a fairly skewed view of Dublin. People usually only come here for gigs, sporting events etc and only see the city centre, which is fairly horrible.

Living at the edge of the Dublin mountains is the business! Only have to go into the city for occasions while having alL the benefits that rural Ireland has

Goldenegg

Ride a sheep

HooterSnout

Get a life.

UsernameInUse

You forgot one:

Flood the place with drugs and then let Dublin take all the heat of the "druggiest" place in Ireland.

rocco.

finger goats and still be respected

major bill

Go the pub and have 10 pints then drive home and beat the wife....get up early and head work without judgement.

It would be great to be a Garda in cork:P

John_Rambo

This thread is a real eye opener. The lack of knowledge and the ignorance shown by people when it comes to their own country astounds me. I can't believe people don't realise that Dublin is coastal, they think everything is more expensive, they don't know if it has wildlife etc...

I think some people need to get out of their little comfort zones and see a bit more of their country.

All I see here is heresay and bullshyte pub talk. Rural people used to know Dublin really well, I guess that has changed.

danh789

Down the Country they dont live off eating beans on toast

Dexterm99

listen to Pump up the jam the new number 1 on the radio.

Victor

lucozader wrote: »

Have you ever grabbed a woman ?
As described in my big fat gipsy wedding?

Be unsure if you are still on-topic.

Canis Lupus

reallyrose wrote: »

Stare beady eyed and full of suspicion out the kitchen window at a car driving back and either say:
"Who's that there driving down the road?"
Or
"What's John-joe doin' driving down the road at this hour?"

Having the neighbour call you to tell you the cattles are out.
Going down to road to find out they are not your cattle.
Put them back into your neighbours field anyway.

A well needed belly laugh from that.

hada

This is the best thread in After Hours for awhile. Well done lads. Here's my contribution.

Saying "shur" instead of sure.
Starting every sentence with "Shur as the fella sez"
Going to the local with the lads, all of you wearing nearly identical outfits: a fine pair of denims, strippy shirt, brown shoes and gelled hair.
Having your aunts/neighbours call over in August before school starts, with all the school books that their older kids used. You'd eventuallu eend up with a book that might have been 6th hand.
Saying "while-een" to denote a short period of time.
There's no such thing as a late license - closing times for bars are set by those who drink in the bar. Although when a bar does get a late license for a 21st/40th birthday/once off event, it's the talk of all the lads.
Having ridiculous nicknames for lads like "muffin", "rasher", "claw"
Sharing a classroom and teacher with first, second, third and fourth class. You're in first class.
Going on the wren (pronounced "ran") on Stephen's day and making a mint.
Making St. Brigid's crosses.
You don't hit someone, you give them "a right puck".
Being unfortunately placed, and getting splattered by a cow while it takes a sh1t.
Calling people who are a bit mental "a made yoke".
Voting either FF or FG, and NEVER switching. EVER.
Distrust of anyone who doesn't vote with your party.
Sunday's are Mass --> few sandwiches --> GAA game --> Dinner
Standing outside the church after mass for about half an hour, talking to all the neighbours (and the priest).
Being an altar boy.
Always having a spare can of WD40 lying around the house.
Having a seven-up bottle on the top-shelf of the garage, filled with some toxic (yet useful) sh1te
Knowing great parking spots in Dublin for match days in Croke Park.
Never switching from Eircom or ESB.
Having certain people in the parish who have hairstyles stuck in the 1970s. Massive sideburns, the lot.
Calling all crisps Taytos.
Not trusting vegetarians.
Making daisy chains (well the girls did).
Driving your dad's car around the farm/to the local shop, by the time you reach 15
Buying all condoms from the machine in the toilet of the local pub. None of this pharmacy crap.
Letting out a big "aaaaaaaaaaaah", when you take your first "sup" of tae
Respecting the game of rugby and its players, but not having a notion of the rules.
Owning a Toyota corolla.

AskMyChocolate

FatherLen wrote: »

i lived in both the country and dublin so i like both. most people here hate culchies/jackeens because there daddy told them too. i am pretty shocked the mods have let such a blatant anti-dublin thread continue to be honest. if this was an anti-country thread i wonder if it would last so long? i doubt it.

I started this thread and I'm a Dub. Liking the country and country people is not being anti-Dublin.

Anyway, a few I forgot.

Crashing your fifteen year old Corolla into somebody else's fifteen year old Corolla and after it's been established that no-one's hurt, and both cars are still driving,not ringing the Gardai or swapping insurance details. The person in the wrong is responsible for buying the feed of drink "for the shock".

Slapping your kids in the back of the car without slowing down or looking around even while cornering. "I'll reach back there now in a minute and I don't care who I hit"

Drink Power's whiskey rather than Jameson.
Put a dash of "pep" (peppermint cordial) in it.
Never get charged for a dash of anything with your short.
Wear Wranglers instead of Levi's.

One from the past no longer applicable:
Arrive at the pub during Holy hour, knock on the window, have the barman look up and down the road before saying," Aah jaysus lads would ye look at the time, git in".

Bruthal

FatherLen wrote: »

i lived in both the country and dublin so i like both. most people here hate culchies/jackeens because there daddy told them too. i am pretty shocked the mods have let such a blatant anti-dublin thread continue to be honest.

It would be worse if it was dis-honest and allowed to continue:D

reallyrose

Oh god, I thought of another one.

Asking someone for a 'hot drop' in your tae.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

hada wrote: »

Being an altar boy.

Misread this as "banging" an altar boy...

Dangerous Man

Talk about how shit Dublin is. Oh, wait, weird bitter folk from the country do that in Dublin too. And outside Ireland. Thankfully, not all country folk are like that. Most are normal people. Yet another divisive thread. I must say I really don't get this. We're all Irish, the city is different than the countryside but beyond that - so what? If you're bothered by it go drink caustic soda.

HoneyRyder

Being put in the bath with your brother on Saturday night
Wearing your 'good clothes' to mass on Sunday morning
Bed straight after Glenroe on Sunday night
Having your schoolbooks covered with wallpaper

vampire of kilmainham

Ruu wrote: »

Salute everyone that you see.

i rember that happening when i was in the army i was an officer and anyone under your rank had to salute you and anyone above the rank you held you had to salute them mighty craic:D:D:D

Victor

Miss the train, wait another three hours.

Miss the bus, wait until this day next week.