All ye oul wans and oul fellas out there! Wakey wakey, rise and shine!

martinn123

Gareth Bale just got elected President of Europe, just thought you would like to know.

Marcelo, just got VP.

And Ronaldo, gets the other V P position.

BrensBenz

martinn123 wrote: »

Gareth Bale just got elected President of Europe, just thought you would like to know.

Marcelo, just got VP.

And Ronaldo, gets the other V P position.

Can't wait to hear those inaugural speeches:

• "Well like, e's creay'ih this like issue and e's stud theh, doin' naffink 'bouh ih an' Oi'm like.....woh?."
• "At the end of the dye, this like victry juss shows the lads' charactah."
• "Goin' fawwud, Ih'll be like a tough job like bah Oi fink we can todally do ih."
• "Oi'm like quihhin' coz they don't like show me no respek."

Ramette

Can't stop watching the count!! Tell matron not to turn off the lights

Pulsating Star

Spread ,
our fallen comrade,
On the off chance you look us up, congrats on your "R's" getting back in the big time yesterday. Hope you are doing ok mate.

Chucken

No fear of our Spread

I chat to him regularly elsewhere.

Rubecula

Chucken wrote: »

No fear of our Spread

I chat to him regularly elsewhere.

by chat you mean give grief .... :pac:

Chucken

Rubecula wrote: »

by chat you mean give grief .... :pac:

Moi? Never!

BrensBenz

So, d'elections are over!

During the campaign, I had the dubious honour of being canvassed by one of the candidates. Not having much else to do, I decided to listen and possibly discuss ishooz with this candidate. I listened intently and was following this carefully-rehearsed monologue when, suddenly, my concentration was shattered, never to return.

"What caused this breakdown in concentration?" I hear you ask.

Well, the candidate had a broad, North County Dublin accent, not dissimilar to members of my own family and social circle. (As yiz know, I myself have no accent a tall a tall but, somehow, THEY all have diss NCD drawl.) Hearing this accent, I guessed that the candidate and I had similar backgrounds, life experiences and possibly even similar educations. Imagine my surprise, Joe, when, mid-sermon, the candidate uttered a certain word that I thought had been eradicated from Ireland; had been replaced by a shorter and perfectly acceptable word and had survived only in the acquired accents of theatrical lovies, British Tory MPs and British Pleese when microphones are being pointed at them.

"What is this word?" I hear you ask. Janey, youze are asking a lot of questions!

The word in question in "whilst", usually pronounced "wawlst" by the above-mentioned groups. I was shocked, Joe! Apsilootly shocked I was to hear this word in a NCD accent.

"What did you do?" I hear you ask. Well, I remained calm, thinking maybe the candidate was throwing "feelers" into the monologue to assess my attitudes to lovies, British Tories and pleesemen. "Nah, irrevelint", I thought, and dismissed that idea. "He is merely reciting blurb that his bosses made him learn off by heart, so the real question is "who wrote this word, the word with the affectational "st" in the tail?

It is my unpleasant duty to inform you that the candidate was elected. Presumably the writer of the "whilst" word will be regarded as a hero, will write more dross for his sheep to learn and include the "whilst" word whensoever he can so do. Therefore it may soon be heard in the halls of power and in the meeja, whilst his true identity remains unbeknownst to the electorate as the "whilst" word gains usage, like todally?

In a few years, we will have an opportunity to remove the mouthpiece but the real culprit, the composer, will remain at large. The party of the first part finds this to be a nuisance of considerable magnitude.....so he does.

Jellybaby1

Spread, the only one who ever escaped, whilst we linger on. Respect.

Oh, except for Cicero, who began this thread.

Chucken

Jellybaby1 wrote: »

Spread, the only one who ever escaped, whilst we linger on. Respect.

Oh, except for Cicero, who began this thread.

I left once.
I didn't like it.

OldGoat

I keep trying to get rid of ye.

BBDBB

Im just loitering with a tent

Jellybaby1

OldGoat wrote: »

I keep trying to get rid of ye.

Chucky was born full of bounce-ability!

Rubecula

Jellybaby1 wrote: »

Chucky was born full of bounce-ability!

Is that rude ????:eek:

Ramette

jelly is merely referring to Chuck's zest for life... Now I wonder why did you think it was rude Rube? I suppose yea are all galavanting for the weekend? I am still recovering from the mammoth election counts!

Rubecula

I am trying to recover from the arrival of visitors :eek:

Jellybaby1

Rubecula wrote: »

Is that rude ????:eek:

No. Where'd ya get that from Rube? You have a dark, dark, past.

Ramette wrote: »

jelly is merely referring to Chuck's zest for life...

True Rammy, and Chuckie's got that boomerang quality!

Rubecula wrote: »

I am trying to recover from the arrival of visitors :eek:

Visitors! God, I hate visitors!

Rubecula

If you went to the deepest darkest depths and looked down you might see a Sun reporter looking up at you and below that I would be waving up cheerfully at the both of ye. Muahahahaha.....

Manic laughter broken off by a fit of coughing*

Chucken

So Rubes, have you any belongings left? :pac:

Rammy, no galavanting for me this weekend. 3 weeks to Corfu

Anyone coming with us?

BBDBB

room for a tiddler?

Rubecula

Chucken wrote: »

So Rubes, have you any belongings left? :pac:

Rammy, no galavanting for me this weekend. 3 weeks to Corfu

Anyone coming with us?

"Sorry but I broke your brush"

"That's ok, accidents happen"

"Oops I broke your garden rake"

"Accidents happen be careful."

"Your porcelain dish with the gilding on it ... was it valuable?"

"WAS it?"

"Yes I broke it."

"Jaysus"

"I broke your shed."

"What the hell ... go home all of ye please."

"Wait where are my makings? Where are my garden gloves ..... What the hell have you thrown away?"

And that was just Saturday!!!!!

Jellybaby1

Ban 'em! Ban 'em all t'hell!! They'll ruin you.

OldGoat

[IMG][/img]

SixToOne by John TheProp, on Flickr

Six to one. I win.

muffler

^ ^ Lucky sod

Jellybaby1

Flash cove!

Layinghen

Blessed is he amongst women

Rubecula

muffler wrote: »

^ ^ Lucky sod

Lucky nothing .... where is his drink?

muffler

Rubecula wrote: »

Lucky nothing .... where is his drink?

He has his priorities right

OldGoat

Rubecula wrote: »

Lucky nothing .... where is his drink?

Another one of my minions was fetching me a fresh drinky from the bar at the time. :cool:

Jellybaby1

Fresh? You mean you let the first one go..........stale? Goodness, how you have changed! :rolleyes:

BBDBB

what a lot of "nieces" he has

Jellybaby1

Quiet in here tonight. Everyone must be tucked up. I'm searching for a painkiller for a headache. I fancy an Indian head massage. Now where will I get an Indian at this hour of night I wonder?

OldGoat

The best and worst thing about ordering stuff online is the wait.
The excited anticipation in waiting for your order is equally balanced against the frustration of waiting for your order.

BBDBB

Getting a delivery of a parcel is exciting though

BrensBenz

Jellybaby1 wrote: »

Spread, the only one who ever escaped, whilst we linger on. Respect.

Oh, except for Cicero, who began this thread.

The Backwards Man wrote: »

What an underused word happenstance is. When you think about it, most things are happenstance. Getting rained on whilst footing the last few yards of turf - happenstance. Meat Loaf three times in a row on a Spotify stream - happenstance. Spilling the last mouthful of brandy whilst creating a thread - happenstance.

How has happenstance affected you lately?

See? I told yizz! The “W” word has spread from O’s & O’s to AH. It’ll go viral next. (What are the criteria for something to be regarded as “viral”?)

And speaking of letters, have you ever taken a good look at the shape of our letters? The letter “N”, for instance, is a masculinely graphical and dynamic letter, like the start of a pattern.

The letter “C” on the other hand is definitely feminine, curvy, with that mysterious gap that stops it from being an “O”.

The letter “T” is again geometrically masculine, bringing to mind the first sketches of what would become Stonehenge.

In isolation, these are wonderful letters, like todally ossum but, when combined, as in NCT, they take on a todally surreal and scary aspect.

Excuse me for a moment – this is very difficu – sniff – for meee – sob - - - - - -Today, we had our - sob – NCT and we f…f…f…

WWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Jellybaby1

Aaaaaaaawwwwwwwwww! Pewer ting! Der Der Brens, it'll be better when you have your jalo..........motor car fixed. If at first you don't succeed, try, try, tr,y, try, and keep trying until you run outta money!

OldGoat

I've lost my Burlesque & Cabaret forum. Even though I asked the higherups to pull the plug on it I still feel heartbroken.

looksee

Aaah OG, had it faded away? That's sad. Maybe we should have a little send off - *eyes The Cabinet*

OldGoat

looksee wrote: »

*eyes The Cabinet*

*Eyes the Chainsaw*
Step away from the Cabinet!

Layinghen

Sorry about that OG but look on the bright side..........you still have us:D:D

Ah go on crack open some of the good stuff, you have to mark the event :P

OldGoat

I had a bottle of commiseration Bubbly last night with Mrs Goat.
I've also committed myself to going to about 5 Burlesque&Caberat events over the next month or two. I shall be glittered out.

Jellybaby1

looksee wrote: »

Aaah OG, had it faded away? That's sad. Maybe we should have a little send off - *eyes The Cabinet*

Stop encouraging him, he'll just wallow in self-pity now.

OldGoat

/Orders another two bottles of Self-Pity

looksee

Call it what you like, I am quite willing to share the self-pity.

Rubecula

OG old chap, you could start a Burlesque thread in here you know.

And even though tis not my cup of tea, I am sure a little liquid refreshment from a certain cabinet would aid my understanding of the genre.

Chucken

Aw, poor OG. It's probably for the best. You're not getting any younger you know

















/Runs

Ramette

I hope us ladies of discernment are not expected to dress in burlesque style from now on.....

Layinghen

Well obviously myself and Chucken have feathers............

But as I am on crutches at the moment I think I will keep mine unruffled

BrensBenz

Ramette wrote: »

I hope us ladies of discernment are not expected to dress in burlesque style from now on.....

Jellybaby1 wrote: »

Aaaaaaaawwwwwwwwww! Pewer ting! Der Der Brens, it'll be better when you have your jalo..........motor car fixed. If at first you don't succeed, try, try, tr,y, try, and keep trying until you run outta money!

Phhhwwooooowwaaa! That vision of scantily-clad persons of the female persuasion is welded into my brain now and there's no confession until Saturday. And I betcha the priest gives me loads of penance - I could be there for quite some time.

I was going to slide under my mowhur vehickle today with spanners, new steering tie rods, new rear axle bushes, new anti-roll bar links, new exhaust clamps, etc., etc, but, with that image of lady-type people in immodest costumes being constantly flashed onto my retinas, I probably wouldn't fit under the car.

Oh well! A cold shower should work and, at the same time, give our lovely new water meter a good workout. Alcohol; general boldness and now, erotically-clad ladies? I'll have to stop reading Os & Os.

looksee

Ah its all in your imagination Brensbenz. I was going to make a comment about jacks and cars and stuff but I have decided not to.