All ye oul wans and oul fellas out there! Wakey wakey, rise and shine!

Layinghen

It's SUMMERTIME.........the new potatoes have arrived:):):)


Pass some down this side of the table and then I'll head to the shops and bulk buy some butter for our next feast of spuds

OldGoat

My hangover is now into it's third day. I blame discontinuous drinking.

looksee

OldGoat wrote: »

My hangover is now into it's third day. I blame discontinuous drinking.

No, its called getting old. Allowances have to be made.

OldGoat

NEVER!

Layinghen

Haven't we told you before sobering up is never a good idea :eek:

Go on prise open the drinky cabinet there and get back to saving yourself from pain.

If you are opening a bottle, my glass seems to be empty here......

looksee

Layinghen wrote: »

Haven't we told you before sobering up is never a good idea :eek:

Go on prise open the drinky cabinet there and get back to saving yourself from pain.

If you are opening a bottle, my glass seems to be empty here......

Oh yes, that's what I was going to do, need a little help to get the dinner ready...

Layinghen

New potatoes, new potatoes are we having new potatoes??????????

Ramette

Jellybaby1 wrote: »

Dripping with melty butter, no doubt! Yum!

Cricket I popped in to see if yea were misbehaving and my eyes alight on this sentence. I got a bit light headed thinking Jelly was pouring hot butter all over Rube, OG, Brenz & Bbdbb but then I realised yea were talking about feckin spuds... I hope they are irish spuds and not Italian ones... As I depart the room let me say in my best "marks and Spencer's food VoiceOver voice... Put a bit of butter on the spuds Andre....

Rubecula

Ramette wrote: »

Cricket I popped in to see if yea were misbehaving and my eyes alight on this sentence. I got a bit light headed thinking Jelly was pouring hot butter all over Rube, OG, Brenz & Bbdbb but then I realised yea were talking about feckin spuds... I hope they are irish spuds and not Italian ones... As I depart the room let me say in my best "marks and Spencer's food VoiceOver voice... Put a bit of butter on the spuds Andre....

WOW I feel all lucky :cool:

BBDBB

Grappled AND covered in butter


this place is a den of depravity


where do I sign?

looksee

Huh, see I didn't get covered in butter - I feel deprived. No, hang on a minute, I am dairy intolerant...

Rubecula

I got some chip fat Looksee if you need it

BBDBB

I cant believe its not butter

Rubecula

I can get used to margarine if required

BBDBB

have you tried a low fat olive oil based spread


you don't actually live longer, it just seems that way

Rubecula

I slip and slide with the flow

Ramette

I think yea are all on a slippery slope! I am off to say a few decades of the rosary for the redemption of your souls, though in OGs case I fear no amount of prayers will redeem his burlesque soul!

Jellybaby1

I step outta the room for 5 minutes and yiz have all gone wild. Butter goes on hot potatoes, and warm scones, end of story!

BrensBenz

Jellybaby1 wrote: »

Butter goes on hot potatoes, and warm scones, end of story!

See? We don't need 2,731 cookery programs or 5,629 cookery show hosts. We all KNOW that buhher belongs on new spudaytos and scones.....or is it scons?

And the new spudaytos in question were grown by morket gordners in good North County Dublin muck, lovingly tended by fair maidens from Latvia and my Woof.

The buhher was made in Culchieville, where the silage trees grow and are eaten by cows that can only be seen in black and white. These cows too are tended by fair maidens from Latvia. The cows know where the milk is and bring it to a special place where it's magicked into buhher.

Sorry, I can't help with how scones are grown. I think they may be what us experts call "root crops" because, although I'm VERY old and much travelled, I've never come across a scone bush. Scones, however, are quite poisonous without buhher. I nearly killed Santy one year with a scone without buhher. Luckily, he sussed it in time and gave it to one of his reindeer. But I suppose everybody knows about that because they wrote a song about it!

looksee

Wha' choo talking about Brens? Cows ARE black and white?

Jellybaby1

Its always 'scohnes'.......nevah 'scons', nevah, I tells ya! Unlike, the vase, for that becomes a vayze, a vahze, a vawze depending on who is speaking or where you happen to be and whether you are facing Mecca or not.

Scones are easily cultivated the same way as spaghetti trees, Bovril bushes, and climbing carrots. However, they do tend to ramble about and take over the garden, so beware, keep those scones pruned!

Cows were always black and white until they invented colour television.

Rubecula

Jellybaby1 wrote: »

I step outta the room for 5 minutes and yiz have all gone wild. Butter goes on hot potatoes, and warm scones, end of story!

Nobody is rubbing butter onto my scones .... not in public anyway. Anyone wants to give it a go see me behind the wheelchair sheds after Matron has gone to sleep. (Bring a warm spoon)

What is a scone anyway?

Jellybaby1

Rubecula wrote: »

Nobody is rubbing butter onto my scones .... not in public anyway. Anyone wants to give it a go see me behind the wheelchair sheds after Matron has gone to sleep. (Bring a warm spoon)

What is a scone anyway?

:D:D:D (A typical Rube (rude) response!) :D

Rubecula

It is all in your mind. I am a sweet young innocent man. ..... Well I am a man anyway

Jellybaby1

I so I leave ye all with that thought as I hop off and make the tay! Toodles!

Rubecula

No sugar in mine

BrensBenz

Jellybaby1 wrote: »

Its always 'scohnes'.......nevah 'scons', nevah, I tells ya! Unlike, the vase, for that becomes a vayze, a vahze, a vawze depending on who is speaking or where you happen to be and whether you are facing Mecca or not.

Scones are easily cultivated the same way as spaghetti trees, Bovril bushes, and climbing carrots. However, they do tend to ramble about and take over the garden, so beware, keep those scones pruned!

Cows were always black and white until they invented colour television.

Regarding vayze / vahze / vawze, whatever happened to the ICA members who used to pronounce minute (60 seconds) as minyit? And suit as syute? And super as syooper?

Anyway, it sounds like you have studied morket gordening so I bow to your superior knowledge on this topic but, being a man, I know about technical mahhers. I have a coloured telly - well, it's black but there are colours on the screen - and the cows on my telly are still in black and white. To explain this, I could blind you with science - stuff like milliwatts, megavolts, picohertz, 6G, di-lithium crystals - but there are only two possible explanations:

1. There is a weak telly signal from the part of Culchieville where the cows live. Have you noticed that sheeps are also affected? Forests of silage trees are known to suck in huge amounts of picohertz so the colours disappear from your telly. If your sat nav fails and you end up in Culchieville, could you let us know what colour cows are really?;
2. The Culchies who own the cows and sheeps are trying their version of bar-coding to get the EU free money grants. But they don't use undercoat and the black and white paint takes ages to dry and smudges easily while wet. Duh!?! Put "Wet Paint" signs on them!

I think I once actually saw a coloured cow. It was while in Norn Arn and I was told it was a Broyn Coy cow. However, when we came back, I thought I got a slight paint smell and the Broyn Coy cow had turned into a Bleck n' Whate Coy cow. I was also told that Bleck n' Whate Coy cows didn't like winter: "Thurr freeshin' so thay orr". The Broyn Coy cow may have been a Bleck n' Whate Coy cow all along, possibly rolling in something brown earlier which fooled me until the hairdresser washed it off. One will never know, will one?

Jellybaby1

Dear student of English,

You would do well to study this thread in order to improve your English. Pay attention and keep up. Say after me....

Hoy noy broyn coy

Annnnd........again,

Hoy noy broyn coy

Well done, you are well on your way to achieving your goal and being awarded a certificate in the Northern Irish dialect of Brensbenz.

BrensBenz

Jellybaby1 wrote: »

Dear student of English,

You would do well to study this thread in order to improve your English. Pay attention and keep up. Say after me....

Hoy noy broyn coy

Annnnd........again,

Hoy noy broyn coy

Well done, you are well on your way to the sitcheeayshun of achieving your goal and being awarded a certificate in the Northern Irish dialect of Brensbenz.

FYP, as they say.

I was listening to the BBC wurless recently and Patrick Kielty was standing in for that irritating DJ prat whose name I forget. Anyway, the irritating prat has a feature called a "Shout Out" - a cool, hip and trendy name for a request.
The quite entertaining Mr. Kielty came to the "Shout Out" spot but, being Norn Arsh, the "Shout" came out as "Shoyt". Well, I needn't tell yiz, never has my gob been so smacked! And then he repeated it!! And again!!!

I had to seek refuge with Radio 4. Haven't The Archers gone downhill since Walter Gabriel left?

Jellybaby1

Ah, the Archers, haven't seen heard them in decades. I remember the theme, it went.....

Den dee den dee den dee den, den dee den dee den dennn
Den dee den dee den dee den, den dee dendilly deeee
Den dee den dee den dee den, den dee den dee den dennn
Den dee den dee den dee den, den dee dendilly deeee

Altogether now....

looksee

Didn't the third line go

Den de diddlee, den de diddlee, den de diddlee den,
etc


I could easily be wrong, I am not very musical!

I shall expire from the heat today, I am going to talk to 60 primary children about being a Viking, in all my kit, two layers of linen and one of wool! Plus boots, headdress and all decorative paraphernalia. A feather boa would be much cooler!

martinn123

looksee wrote: »

I shall expire from the heat today, I am going to talk to 60 primary children about being a Viking, in all my kit, two layers of linen and one of wool! Plus boots, headdress and all decorative paraphernalia. A feather boa would be much cooler!

Don't forget the big hatchet, and the shield.

[URL="[IMG]http://i62.tinypic.com/15he5cl.jpg[/IMG]"][/URL]

looksee

Wrong variety Martinn! (though that is a remarkably accurate pic of a Viking, there is usually something 'wrong' :-) )

Dammit JB I have been dum-de-dumming the Archers themetune for the last hour...

OldGoat

looksee wrote: »

A feather boa would be much cooler!

In combination with a linen Viborg shirt.
http://ribevikingecenter.dk/media/10424/Flaxreport.pdf

I love linen. The only thing I like about the oppressive heat of the summer is the opportunity to wear linen suits.

looksee

Lovely stuff to wear, very comfortable. That's an interesting article OG, not seen that particular one, will have a read later. Whatever about spinning wool, I don't think I would have the patience for flax!

OldGoat

I found that paper a while ago when I was researching linen for a milliner who wanted to know if anyone had ever used the fabric in making top hats.
Vikings and silk toppers - when worlds collide.

BrensBenz

Jellybaby1 wrote: »

Ah, the Archers, haven't seen heard them in decades. I remember the theme, it went.....

Den dee den dee den dee den, den dee den dee den dennn
Den dee den dee den dee den, den dee dendilly deeee
Den dee den dee den dee den, den dee den dee den dennn
Den dee den dee den dee den, den dee dendilly deeee

Altogether now....

looksee wrote: »

Didn't the third line go

Den de diddlee, den de diddlee, den de diddlee den,
etc


I could easily be wrong, I am not very musical!

looksee wrote: »

Dammit JB I have been dum-de-dumming the Archers themetune for the last hour...

Yiz must be humming the hip hop version! It's not in the key of Den. The correct key, as stated by Looksee, is Dumpy, as in:

Dumpy dumpy dumpy dum
Dumpy dumpy dum dum
Dumpy dumpy dumpy dum
Dumpy dumpiddy dum

Dumpy dumpy dum
Dumpy dumpy dum
Dumpy dumpy dum dum.....

Bet yiz can't hum that without waving your arms about, conducting!

http://www.mp3olimp.net/barwick-green/

Chucken

Jellybaby1

Ooooh Chuckie, my family could do with some of that virus called 'Work' aka 'a job'! :(:(:(:(:(:(

Rubecula

BrensBenz wrote: »

Yiz must be humming the hip hop version! It's not in the key of Den. The correct key, as stated by Looksee, is Dumpy, as in:

Dumpy dumpy dumpy dum
Dumpy dumpy dum dum
Dumpy dumpy dumpy dum
Dumpy dumpiddy dum

Dumpy dumpy dum
Dumpy dumpy dum
Dumpy dumpy dum dum.....

Bet yiz can't hum that without waving your arms about, conducting!

http://www.mp3olimp.net/barwick-green/

It is Not Den or Dumpy you know it is DOO

Doo de doo de dooty doo
Dooty dooty doo doo
Doo de doo de dooty doo
Dooty diddle dee da

But I can see where you may think it is otherwise due to the atmospherics on the light programme, especially if it is coming to you via a link to radio Luxembourg.

Chucken

Jellybaby1 wrote: »

Ooooh Chuckie, my family could do with some of that virus called 'Work' aka 'a job'! :(:(:(:(:(:(

Aw JB I'm sorry but I'll tell you, I never worked as much as I did when I was on the dole. Fcekin housework is never ending!
Thats work!!!

Layinghen

Ok everybody, we are eating outside this evening. The wine is chilled,the tea is brewed, beer is in the fridge.

You can all doo,doo, daa,daa and dum,dum to you hearts content out there,

For anyone not solely on a liquid diet, food is also available.

Let's party, it's hot, hot hot.

Rubecula

Dee Doo Doo Doo Dee Dah Dah Dah is another tune all together Hen. Come to think of it so is Hot Hot Hot.

BUT who cares, Let's all PARTYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

(PS Free Parking for zimmers is available courtesy of OG who is also putting up his Drinky prices to cover the costs.)

OldGoat

/Nabs the shady spot under the apple tree.

Rubecula

Hey OG don't crush me apples... I wanna make a cider.

Layinghen

Music, we need music..........

Now if only we knew someone who knows something about music :rolleyes:

Ah OG there you are, didn't notice you in the shade.

Something to annoy the neighbours please :D

looksee

Here, shove over OG, I prefer the shade too. Can't be doing with all this sun. Sigh.

Layinghen

Glass of vino Looksee?

looksee

Excellent! Well that would be another glass, just had one with the dinner :-)

Ah this is lovely

Rubecula

*wonders if it hot enough to unbutton his duffel coat yet*