All ye oul wans and oul fellas out there! Wakey wakey, rise and shine!

looksee

Well I didn't get ear-wormed (which is unusual, they usually hunt me out) and I am trying not to think about it. But you can certainly ban that word you mentioned. Can O&O cope with two grumpy mods though?

OldGoat

looksee wrote: »

Can O&O cope with two grumpy mods though?

Ban 'em if they can't cope. :cool:

looksee

OldGoat wrote: »

Ban 'em if they can't cope. :cool:

Retrovin

Oh the weather outside is frightful.................

BlancheSparks

Can't be worse than here.....

BrensBenz

OldGoat wrote: »

Can I ban Retrovin for earworming us with Christmas? Actually, can I add Christmas to the last of Banned words?

Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes

and

Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes

Retrovin wrote: »

Oh the weather outside is frightful.................

He's mockin' us now, slaggin' even! Us?!?!? Us poor, defenceless Os&Os. Never done no harm to nutt'n'. Always say our prayers and indicate five miles before the turn. Argyle socks or Nora Batty tights and sandals with velcro. Ovaltine before the teeth come out for the night. Always say "ahhh" after the first sip. Can't work the remote and grunt when we rise from d'oul armchair after Countdown or bowls.

And Retrovin is slaggin' us?!?!?

On second thoughts, banning is painless. Back to my posse idea, seek and destroy (after a fair trial, of course). Did I say that before? Can't remember.

looksee

Leaves page hastily before earworm lodges...

BrensBenz

This reduced earworming for me but...........

Bless me Father for I have sinned: I've just watched TWO episodes of Wonder Woman (Dad's porn) on the Horror Channel.

See, the Nazis, in seventies uniforms and hairstyles, captured a big man in a gorilla suit and re-programmed him to kill Wonder Woman. (Don't know why!) But Wonder Woman pointed her.....eyes at him and he was re-re-programmed.
But the man in the gorilla suit got shot by the Nazi with the New York accent, only winged him but Wonder Woman got the world famous gorilla doctor, who lives nearby, to patch him up and give him B&B.

But then, the evil Nazi gorilla re-programmer, Erica, who wears seventies style jodhpurs, arrives with no handbag but produces a huge syringe and a photo of Wonder Woman to re-re-re-programme the man in the gorilla suit. Of course, she has to hurry because the U-Boat is waiting to bring her, the Nazis in the seventies uniforms and the man in the gorilla suit back home to the Third Reich.

Can you stand the tension?

Colonel Steve Trevor, with his seventies style uniform, hairstyle and phrasing but who still can't tell the difference between Wonder Woman and Diana Prince when she wears her seventies style glasses, (he must be gay or something) arrived with a load of troops in seventies uniforms, driving seventies jeeps.

I missed some of the next bit because Diana Prince did her twizzle and turned into Wonder Woman again. Phhwooooaaarrr!

Then she ran around a lot on her Wonder Woman legs so, again, my attention was hampered somewhat. She also found time to stop a World War Two, seventies style, twin jet-engined Learjet aircraft from taking off from the US air base, which Colonel Steve Trevor seems to run single-handedly, by grabbing its wingtip, causing it to do "doughnuts" on the runway.

Still breathing normally, (I always check that part very carefully), she ran back to the secret, deserted warehouse, captured the evil Erica with her golden lasso, while Colonel Steve Trevor's troops did some minor capturing outside.

Then, still in her Wonder Woman gear, she delivered a lecture about not mistreating animals or something (I missed most of it because she was on her hunkers with the man in the gorilla suit and her legs stopped my ears working).

I think she might have brought the man in the gorilla suit back to Africa in her inflatable, see-through airplane but, as she walked from the camera, in her Wonder Woman hot pants and knee boots, my already battered attention to the plot just gave up, exactly as it did when Raquel Welch wore her fur bikini and when Ursula Undress strode out of the sea and when Diana Rigg wore her leather catsuit......and.........and........The Tiller Girls.

God, if I had been able to maintain attention on my studies in the 60's and 70's, I could have been a bleed'n genius!

OldGoat

I'm tempted to link to a trailer of the new WonderWoman film just to see if Brenz can take the strain.

looksee

Just got back from the supermarket, where I found myself humming a Christmas carol (not going to say the name in case I set it off again) as I picked up breakfast cereal.

Retrovin

BrensBenz wrote: »

Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes

and

Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes




He's mockin' us now, slaggin' even! Us?!?!? Us poor, defenceless Os&Os. Never done no harm to nutt'n'. Always say our prayers and indicate five miles before the turn. Argyle socks or Nora Batty tights and sandals with velcro. Ovaltine before the teeth come out for the night. Always say "ahhh" after the first sip. Can't work the remote and grunt when we rise from d'oul armchair after Countdown or bowls.

And Retrovin is slaggin' us?!?!?

On second thoughts, banning is painless. Back to my posse idea, seek and destroy (after a fair trial, of
course). Did I say that before? Can't remember.

Slagging is such a strong word......I'd say more of a spreading of christmas cheer.

Rubecula

Retrovin wrote: »

Slagging is such a strong word......I'd say more of a spreading of christmas cheer.

Fer 'evans sake who has see the ban hammer? It was here a while ago OG are you getting a tad senile? (Like me if truth be told)

The good news is Hallowe'en is not too far in the future so we can all practice our horrific screams.

OK who's first?

looksee

Right Rube! I got the ban hammer (the big one) - one bong for calling OG senile (smiles ingratiatingly at OG) and one for mentioning Hallowe'en, which is nearly as bad as the other word these days.

Now will you all go and get your cocoa and somebody chuck out that young wan that is doing the stirring...

Jellybaby1

As much as I dislike discussing Christmas at this time of year, I absolutely LOATHE anything to do with Halloween. I don't do Halloween so there is no point in including me in yer ghoulish antics.

Back to more interesting things now. Brenses's narrative of the Wonderwoman plot was riveting, RIVETING! So I have a challenge for him and the rest of yiz. Himself has become awfully desperate for something to watch on the tellybox and has literally thrown, nay FLUNG himself into all things detective! Now that Poirot is no longer with us he watches Midsomer Murders (ad finitum), Lewis, and now recently Foyle's War which keeps us on our toes spotting all the Dublin backstreets and buildings that we know and love so well, each one disguised as London with a real alive red pillar box. We know the pillar box is ALIVE 'cos it appears in nearly every street scene so a walking talking pillar box is what it is! And then the most wonderfullest of all the detectives, which needs the Brens treatment more than all of them is (tah-dah-dah, tah-dah-dah!) Murdoch Mysteries. It's HILARIOUS! Brens? Go, git 'im!

looksee

The population of Midsomer must be in negative figures at this stage. Where do they keep finding victims?

Rubecula

looksee wrote: »

The population of Midsomer must be in negative figures at this stage. Where do they keep finding victims?

Vultures all of them :cool:

Jellybaby1

looksee wrote: »

The population of Midsomer must be in negative figures at this stage. Where do they keep finding victims?

If you want to know how to survive Midsomer....

http://midsomermurders.org/surviving.htm

BrensBenz

Jellybaby1 wrote: »

....needs the Brens treatment more than all of them is (tah-dah-dah, tah-dah-dah!) Murdoch Mysteries. It's HILARIOUS! Brens? Go, git 'im!

Unfortunately I find, oneself unfamiliar, with the detective of hoom you is referring of. Is it on very, late like? Obviously basically it could also, be at the end of the day going forward on you're Sky channels of which, I have none on my like telly which because, Mrs. Brensbenz telly has them on, her telly and I'm not made, of money and I can't work the Sky+ thing is all I get is grief for wiping Big Brother. Does the Murdock of what you mention of wear like hot pants and have legs up to hear? Because my head is still seeing them of Wonder Woman and theres' no room for more until thursday going forward.

One is however like obviously, devistyhid that Jessica was not included. In the defective detectives johnrah of what Mr. Jellybaby watches or like maybe, you didn't notice of it. I had bean, basically studying another defective detective johnrah from, Hollywoodland what miracle cures people in hostible while solving mirdirs as, well at the same like time called Diagnosis Mirdir with Dick Ven Doyk of which it must be the thickest. Of like them all its sooooo hard to watch a hole episode.

Spellcheck is like telling me of which grammar errors is in this like post but I've bean like improving going, forward my grammar by listening of the commentaryators on, the Glasgow like games and that like, all day in. A expanding pile of like hare what is falling out what going forward I'll have to hoover tomorrow the lady in the hostible said I should hoover my like head instead. And I can't like obviously basically talk unless they'res a spongey microphone in my face at. The end of the day.

Chihhhzzz.

looksee

Brenz, I think you would enjoy Spell Czechs - you have to pm Tar.Aldarion to ask to join.

BrensBenz

Jellybaby1 wrote: »

Yeah, we were great listeners to the Light Programme too, also the Home Service. Women's Hour, Beyond our Ken, Goons, Clitheroe, Billy Cotton, Ted Ray, Navy Lark, Music While You Work. How we laughed at the comedy shows. Hardly bears thinking of now that a family would sit down and listen to the wurless and fall about laughing. With the rubbish on TV these days, maybe its time to go searching along the ould dial again!

I can thoroughly recommend BBC Radio 4 Extra for almost all of those shows (should be on your fancy statalite).

This (first link below) always comes to mind when remembering wurless programmes from a distant past. Just skip past the "Aw yawh sitting comfawtehbleh....then Ah'll begin" and wallow in the lovely, simple choon on the piano. Blissful.

http://www.televisiontunes.com/Listen_With_Mother.html

Here's another link to BBC wurless choons, including Housewives Choice, my alarm clock while in primary school. If I wasn't shovelling brown sugar on my porridge by the end of the first request, I'd be late for school.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j_wuMnEuQ5Y

BrensBenz

OldGoat wrote: »

I'm tempted to link to a trailer of the new WonderWoman film just to see if Brenz can take the strain.

There's a Wonder Woman fillum? With Linda Carter? Hot pants? Knee boots? Double D's in golden cups? Flashing blue eyes and neon smile?








Meh!
Mrs. BrensBenz is still in her jammies at 10:50AM and yiz know what that means. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EfGDvDGE7zk

OldGoat

Wonder Woman will be a crucial character in the upcoming Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice film, with Ben Affleck and Henry Cavill playing the title roles respectively

http://www.independent.ie/entertainment/movies/movie-news/first-look-gal-gadot-as-wonder-woman-debuts-at-comic-con-30462535.html

Link to image: http://cdn3.independent.ie/incoming/article30462534.ece/58418/ALTERNATES/w620/BtfLEsmIYAANa8M.jpg

0lddog

BrensBenz wrote: »

I can thoroughly recommend BBC Radio 4 Extra for almost all of those shows (should be on your fancy statalite)......

You can even pick it up on t'internet. Works grand for me with a dodgy 3G signal.

BrensBenz wrote: »

.........
Meh!
Mrs. BrensBenz is still in her jammies at 10:50AM and yiz know what that means. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EfGDvDGE7zk

That reminds me. What exactly is Moral Turpitude ?

Jellybaby1

Good Lord, I've stumbled onto the set of Big Bang Theory! :eek:

OldGoat

Bazinga!

looksee

I got totally sidetracked into reading the comments under that you tube video, especially Martha's contributions. Bless.

BrensBenz

0lddog wrote: »

That reminds me. What exactly is Moral Turpitude ?

Not sure! My guess is it's blessed turps from Knock but I always use Holy Ghost white spirit. Try the DIY forum - they know everything.

BrensBenz

OldGoat wrote: »

http://www.independent.ie/entertainment/movies/movie-news/first-look-gal-gadot-as-wonder-woman-debuts-at-comic-con-30462535.html

Link to image: http://cdn3.independent.ie/incoming/article30462534.ece/58418/ALTERNATES/w620/BtfLEsmIYAANa8M.jpg

I'm sure that Gal Gadot(?) is a grand young wan but there's only one Lynda Carter, i.e. Miss America 1973.

And the movie appears to be yet another Hollywood doomy, gloomy, CGI-fest remake, written by a committee, cashing in on the work of their dads.

Now, the 1936 series of Flash Gordon is another matter entirely:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A8BFrd1ckSw

I can't find the clip but Ming the Merciless is pursuing Flash Gordon, at hypersonic speed, across a distant galaxy in their plywood spacecraft. There just happened to be a camera travelling at the same hyperspeed, in the next lane, which caught the pursuit for posterity but not for YouTube yet.

Unable to overtake Flash, Ming launches a super atomic, radiowave guided miss'l with a really sharp point at the front. The miss'l's thrust / exhaust ports emit smoke and sparkles, like.........a sparkler as it performs a parabola towards Flash's ship. Luckily, Flash sees the miss'l in his rearview mirror and swerves just in time. Dale Arden tells Flash how great he is and they all have a merry laugh and go home.

Now THAT'S sci-fi.

roran

BrensBenz wrote: »

I'm sure that Gal Gadot(?) is a grand young wan but there's only one Lynda Carter, i.e. Miss America 1973.

Better still...there's only one Brigette Bardot

BrensBenz wrote: »

Now THAT'S sci-fi.

Ain't she just :D:D

Jellybaby1

I know yiz all have been sitting on tenterhooks (or is it tenderhooks? But hooks ain't tender!) dying to know where and when you can watch Murdoch Mysteries. Well I'll put ye out of yer misery, he is on Alibi at all times of the day and night. They seek him here, they seek him there, and he keeps popping up everywhere, 12 midnight tonight, possibly 8am or 9am some mornings, 12 midday other days and God knows when else. You will need to creep up on him in order to record the programme and watch it at your leisure and all the programmes are not linked so you might not get to record them all in one go but sure try one anyway. He has a policeman sidekick who looks like Eric Idle, and a mot who only seems to have one set of clothing, a pale blue and white number which she wore in the last three episodes we watched. Murdoch himself walks with a wooden plank down the back of his shirt and rarely moves his head, with hardly a twitch of a eyebrow to show that he is alive! Make some popcorn! Y'gotta watch it!

BrensBenz

Jellybaby1 wrote: »

I know yiz all have been sitting on tenterhooks (or is it tenderhooks? But hooks ain't tender!) dying to know where and when you can watch Murdoch Mysteries. Well I'll put ye out of yer misery, he is on Alibi at all times of the day and night. They seek him here, they seek him there, and he keeps popping up everywhere, 12 midnight tonight, possibly 8am or 9am some mornings, 12 midday other days and God knows when else. You will need to creep up on him in order to record the programme and watch it at your leisure and all the programmes are not linked so you might not get to record them all in one go but sure try one anyway. He has a policeman sidekick who looks like Eric Idle, and a mot who only seems to have one set of clothing, a pale blue and white number which she wore in the last three episodes we watched. Murdoch himself walks with a wooden plank down the back of his shirt and rarely moves his head, with hardly a twitch of a eyebrow

Unfortunately, I'm not familiar with Alibi either but I did Google Murdoch and it sounds like.............multiple disasters, packaged in layers of opportunities for further error. Google quotes:

• Set in Toronto, so the accents will be wrong;
• Set in 1895, so the props will be wrong;
• Written by a committee, so the dialogue will be wrong;
• Made in North America, so the fashions, hair-dos, etc. will be wrong;
• Murdoch solves many of his cases using methods of detection that were not invented at the time, e.g. fingerprinting, blood testing, surveillance and trace evidence.
• He also "invents" a primitive version of sonar to locate a sunken ship in Lake Ontario.
• Then he invents wire-tapping, colour photography and, after tea, he transmits this colour photo......by fax!

However, being an expert at spotting dangers, I think the North American censorship authorities should invent a new classification to protect their audiences from this stuff, not based on age but on whether they laugh at it or not. Non-laughers should not be allowed to watch it because, as we know, constant repetition of cr@p in North America becomes "fact" in their little heads, e.g. Henry Ford invented the car; the Pilgrim Fathers brought religious "tolerance" to America; pointy-toed, high-heeled, multi-coloured boots are......menswear!

I will seek out Murdoch but, in the meantime, let there be not so much as a hint of slagging of Midsomer Murders: Joyce Barnaby (Jane Wymark) is in it and she is just fabbalus. And since the conclusion of Poirot, I'm still having withdrawal symptoms for the equally fabbalus Miss Lemon (Pauline Moran). I haven't quite warmed to Foyle's driver, Sam, yet but give me time.

Jellybaby1

The Joyce Barnaby character always joined clubs and committees just so she would be in the middle of yet another murdurrrr. I think she was hungry for a little attention from her husband Tom. They also made her a rotten cook so everyone could make fun of her. I always felt sorry for her.

All that stuff Brens listed about Murdoch Mysteries is actually true, but you just have to watch it for the chuckles. Last week he invented a metal detector which looked like a big wooden (yes, wooden!) ploughshare.

Rubecula

0lddog wrote: »

That reminds me. What exactly is Moral Turpitude ?

A kind of paint stripper?

BrensBenz

Jellybaby1 wrote: »

Joyce Barnaby.....was hungry for a little attention from her husband Tom. They also made her a rotten cook so everyone could make fun of her

Tom might be great at skidding around Midsomer in his Jag / Volvo, every week, solving mihdahs just in time for the News, but he walks with his arms extended like a penguin's wings and is therefore entirely unworthy to share scenes with the fragrant.....Ms. Jane Wymark.

Her inability to cook is yet another charming attraction. Any deserving suitor would be privileged to take her out to eat. Ahhhhhh! Just imagine gazing across a small, candle-lit table, into THAT face, framed by her short, Barnaby hair-do and reflected in the silverware, while sprinkling vinegar on your wedgie chips!

Picture goes all fuzzy and wavy......doo doo doo doo....doo doo doo doo....

Or high tea with Miss Lemon! With gurrcake!

OldGoat

Rubecula wrote: »

A kind of paint stripper?

Genuine "Laugh Out Loud" moment.

Ramette

Well no need to water the plants today!

Rubecula

tis a bit moist out there isn't it?

Ramette

You are such a bold strap!

Layinghen

Sun shining all day here in the Kingdom:D:D

BrensBenz

Ramette wrote: »

Well no need to water the plants today!

Our Ponderosa always floods when we have torrential rain so our garden is now a moat and will be for a couple of days. Our green bin set sail during the night and is heading for Rubeculand but several messages in bottles have been washed up in the long grass which should make interesting reading later.

Unfortunately, our fosterwoof hurt his paw last week and had to go to the vet. He came home yesterday with a PINK bandage and auntiebionic tablets to keep him drowsy for a few days. The pink bandage has to be kept dry until Tuesday or we will be accused of all sorts on social media and reality TV shows.

Now, sooner or later, he will need to weewee but, as I say, his private bathroom has become part of the Irish Sea. He really doesn't like being carried - goes all growly - but he is putting some weight on his sore paw. However, that paw is a no-go area for all personnel and attempting to fit him with woofwellies could be hazardous.

Hmmm! Do I overdose him with his drowsy pills, wait for him to drop, don waders, carry him to high ground, wait for him to perform, give him more drowsy pills, wait for him to drop again, carry him home? Also, remember, he's a boy dog so he could be down to TWO legs during his performance, requiring some planning and concentration on his part, neither of which would be in great supply after an overdose of auntiebionics and failure to remain upright would not improve his mood.

All suggestions from the fonts of wisdom known as Os&Os welcome.

Ramette

Point to the pink bandage, tell him he's is now a girl and he might squat to pee instead of lifting his leg????

BrensBenz

Ramette wrote: »

Point to the pink bandage, tell him he's is now a girl and he might squat to pee instead of lifting his leg????

Hmmm, you mean persuade him to swim onto high ground, while holding his pink bandage over his head, become a girl dog on command, weewee, swim home, again with his sore paw in the air? Well................dunno!

Hold on! I have an inflatable dinghy! Sail to the back door, woof embarks, sail to the water's edge, woof disembarks, weewees, climbs back onboard for the voyage home. Brilliant!

Thanks, Ramette, from me and from the woof's bladder.

looksee

BrensBenz wrote: »

Hold on! I have an inflatable dinghy! Sail to the back door, woof embarks, sail to the water's edge, woof disembarks, weewees, climbs back onboard for the voyage home. Brilliant!

Thanks, Ramette, from me and from the woof's bladder.

Any chance of a video? Especially of woof jumping in and out of dinghy :P

Ramette

Put the woof onto your back, swim to dry land, deinstall woof from back, let woof lean against you, do his business ( making sure he doesn't pee against the prevailing wind) woof climbs up again, you swim back to base.. Job done!

Chucken

I have it!

..and hope the breeze blows him homeward.

BBDBB

Chucken wrote: »

I have it!

..and hope the breeze blows him homeward.

hmm, must be an Air-edale Terrier

Rubecula

BrensBenz wrote: »

Our Ponderosa always floods when we have torrential rain so our garden is now a moat and will be for a couple of days. Our green bin set sail during the night and is heading for Rubeculand but several messages in bottles have been washed up in the long grass which should make interesting reading later.

Unfortunately, our fosterwoof hurt his paw last week and had to go to the vet. He came home yesterday with a PINK bandage and auntiebionic tablets to keep him drowsy for a few days. The pink bandage has to be kept dry until Tuesday or we will be accused of all sorts on social media and reality TV shows.

Now, sooner or later, he will need to weewee but, as I say, his private bathroom has become part of the Irish Sea. He really doesn't like being carried - goes all growly - but he is putting some weight on his sore paw. However, that paw is a no-go area for all personnel and attempting to fit him with woofwellies could be hazardous.

Hmmm! Do I overdose him with his drowsy pills, wait for him to drop, don waders, carry him to high ground, wait for him to perform, give him more drowsy pills, wait for him to drop again, carry him home? Also, remember, he's a boy dog so he could be down to TWO legs during his performance, requiring some planning and concentration on his part, neither of which would be in great supply after an overdose of auntiebionics and failure to remain upright would not improve his mood.

All suggestions from the fonts of wisdom known as Os&Os welcome.

There could be a secondary use for those bottles that that the strange messages wash up in. (Wonders just what is so urgent you have to write it in a note form and post it in a glass bottle .... must be pretty fast way of getting a message out compared to the postal system we have here.) Well you pick up a bottle (after carefully removing said message) and then sneak up on doggykins. Drowsy pills may help here. Pass them round too as nobody wants to see how you attache doggykins to the bottle. Problem solved, when full, remove bottle in reverse proceedure to fitment and re-post. Replace with second bottle. :cool:

Jellybaby1

Rubecula wrote: »

...Drowsy pills may help here...

:D:D

BrensBenz

Hrrrmmmffff! Yizzar all very smart, so yizzar!

• No vidgeo - I was fully occupied, piloting and providing propulsion for the bubbleboat;
• Getting woof onboard was easy - smelly treat on floorboards and later, on backdoor mat;
• In woof's head, being "worn" like a scarf or backpack is considered being carried - he doesn't like being carried;
• As for "Air-dale Terrier", did I ever tell you about Ardelle, a colleague in Dallas, who arrived in work one day with a 1980's perm?
• The bottle idea is intriguing though. Does he weewee into it or wear it as a personal flotation device?

Anyway, at morning four bells today, as I peered out of my bedroom porthole, I saw that the waters had subsided. Then a dove appeared, carrying an olive branch, though it might have been a seagull with some lettuce. "We're saved" sang the crew, as woof stared at me in grateful admiration, realising that he would not have to sit cross-legged again, while I inflated the bubbleboat.

He doesn't know yet but his pink bandage comes off tomorrow. It must be welded on because, despite days of effort from him, he hasn't been able to get any grip on it to pull it off. Industrial strength drowsy pills WILL be required.

bonzodog2

BrensBenz wrote: »

I can thoroughly recommend BBC Radio 4 Extra for almost all of those shows (should be on your fancy statalite).

This (first link below) always comes to mind when remembering wurless programmes from a distant past. Just skip past the "Aw yawh sitting comfawtehbleh....then Ah'll begin" and wallow in the lovely, simple choon on the piano. Blissful.

http://www.televisiontunes.com/Listen_With_Mother.html

Aaah. Brings me back to memories of Andy Pandy, Bill & Ben and The Woodentops