All ye oul wans and oul fellas out there! Wakey wakey, rise and shine!

Rubecula

Just to let you know. Today (Tuesday) I am trvelling to the dim, distant and totally exotic nation of Ireland for a few days.

I know I will have to live with the barbaric, cruel, hard natives of that far distant land for a while. But with the help of a native guide, and heavily armed with a pack of jammie Wagon Wheels to hold the wild people down, I am confident I will survive.

I will be travelling to the unexplored and never before investigated (By civilised Rubeculas) area known locally as Limerick. This is where it is rumoured the Wild Chucken lives. So please think of me in these unforgiving wastes, and pray I don't fall foul of the Mad Soup eating addiction that is rife there at the moment.

I will also need to take care not to catch the Amazing Fall Down Affliction, carried by certain dark beverages, and very contagious apparently.

I have remembered to pack my protective green rugby shirt, but unsure how well it will guard me against something mysterious called Hurling. I should be there by this evening thanks to the wondrous powers of modern transportation.

Hopefully, the monsoons will have passed too.

see yiz all soon

(The Amazingly brave, and exploratory) Rubes

looksee

Rube, I have read extensively of a Travel forum on this internet thingy, and can assure you that you will need to bring antibiotics against ticks, all your favourite over the counter medicines as none are available here, bottled water, artificial sweetener, gloves and woolly hat, even in summer, and your international drivers license. Beware of the local electricity supply as it explodes. With those warnings in mind, have a great trip!

Ramette

Rubes, are your innoculations up to date? Did you get a visa to enter the county of Limerick? I hope you packed the limerick language lingo and are practising the vocabulary on your journey over...

OldGoat

Rubecula went to Limerick
But he forgot to rhyme
So the locals did poke
his faux pas as a joke
...
And then he went home again after a nice little visit and some soup.

Layinghen

Have a great visit Rubes, and don't worry the natives are friendly.

Jellybaby1

Recipe for Wild Chucken Soup.....

First catch your wild chucken!

Enjoy your trip Rube. Don't forget to bring the Limerick currency with you. They are known to get tourists to buy them gifts!

BrensBenz

Rubecula wrote: »

....I will be travelling to the unexplored and never before investigated (By civilised Rubeculas) area known locally as Limerick.

Good morning. Here are the news headlines:

Chaos, mayhem, carnage, crime, pestilence and destruction continue to erupt in most parts of the world. Hundreds of journalists are rushing to be photographed in front of debris while wearing designer military gear.

There are as yet unconfirmed reports that Rhianna broke a fingernail yesterday. Photogenic members of her family are at her side. Social media websites have crashed under the burden of concern and well-wishes for a rapid recovery.

And now for the weather outlook........oh, news just in:

Zoologists and bird-watchers from all over Europe are gathering in Limerick today to witness the arrival of a rare and strange birdie known as Rubecula Maximus Nihil Sensus of Direction. Known to have the power of speech, locals are concerned that this visitor will pronounce Limerick with three syllables instead of the correct two. They have raised a petition in biro and organised marches to highlight this concern. An Taoiseach, Inda Kinny, has described the danger to correct pronunciation as "fierce, saw 'tis" but advised that "deh guvvermint has tehken a lawda stips to inshoor a returun to peace an' quite as soon as serkumstensis allow."

Chucken

Ramette wrote: »

Rubes, are your innoculations up to date? Did you get a visa to enter the county of Limerick? I hope you packed the limerick language lingo and are practising the vocabulary on your journey over...

I'm going to take him to Moyross so he can learn da lingo proper like

Jellybaby1

Chucken wrote: »

I'm going to take him to Moyross so he can learn da lingo proper like

That would sound lovely with the Welsh lilt! I think Rube has enough Welsh in him to sing a few lines of Men of Harlech!

BrensBenz

bonzodog2 wrote: »

Aaah. Brings me back to memories of Andy Pandy, Bill & Ben and The Woodentops

Strangely, although a leading authority on Torchie Torchie the Battery Boy, I have no memory of the content of Listen With Mother so I must defer to your superior knowledge on these matters. But I do remember being "admonished" for retuning the wurless to hear the LWM theme music.

Here's another theme, from a classical piece (don't panic - it's a very short excerpt). 10/10 if you can identify the TV programme.

Caution: It has a long and very quiet intro until around 1:18. Then......Baadooooom. Be careful with your volume control.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XtIw5AkUEsE

looksee

Ha, got it! (I cheated) I knew it rang bells as a theme tune but couldn't think what.

Jellybaby1

Well, I don't got it. Great piece though. I kept my volume up, and although the brass is at times at the forefront I can deffo imagine sparks flyin' offa dem violins! Wot's the programme then?

BrensBenz

looksee wrote: »

Ha, got it! (I cheated) I knew it rang bells as a theme tune but couldn't think what.

Jellybaby1 wrote: »

Well, I don't got it. Great piece though. I kept my volume up, and although the brass is at times at the forefront I can deffo imagine sparks flyin' offa dem violins! Wot's the programme then?

ITV's version of Panorama, called "This Week".

I'm not clever enough to be a classical music fan but I have maybe a couple of dozen or so classical bits on my in-car wurless, many of which (along with Status Quo) render me a danger on the road.

Here's another short piece below, not as obscure as Sibelius's Karelia Suite but, for me, magical. Again, I heard it first as a child and just couldn't understand how "people" could make something so complex sound so simple and, at the same time, captivating. With stereo headphones, the "teamwork" between the sections of the orchestra - the twiddly bits (technical term) from one side sparkling like jewels on Summer waves from the other side - makes my few remaining hairs stand up.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OWXB2_n3qzU

0lddog

Back to the present......

Rooting around for some fruit in Aldi this morning a 'wan in ( I guess ) only her 50's was rooting around with me ( hmmmm ).

Finding a nice pack I offered same but was rejected with ' der very hard'.

"It'll ripen in no time by the widow" says I, "thats the trouble with youse young wans, youse want everyting now"

Long pause, " its years since I was called a young wan" says she ( 'n if you saw the look in her eye she meant it ...... and more )

I'm off to cool off with L W M

BTW first program of ISIRTA was repeated on R4 Extra yesterday - after The Goons, oh bliss - ( second will be on same time next week )

Jellybaby1

Ooooooooh, s-w-o-o-n! :rolleyes:

Rubecula

Dia dhuit my friends, yes I have returned to civilization.

the natives proved to be friendly, although I suspect it was to lull yours truly into a sense of false good health.

I was FORCED to sit at a table with some (frankly quite worryingly good bread and butter) and then ... and then ....... A wild Chucken appeared with SOUP in hand (actually it was in a bowl but you know what I mean) Oh no it couldn't be ... but yes it was. It was green, it was a bowl full, and it was LETTUCE soup. :eek::eek::eek::eek:

t'wasn't bad either but don't let Chucken know.

All in all, I was quite sad to be coming home. I felt truly at home there. Wonderful people. I am certainly going back as soon as I recover.

Jellybaby1

If you think we are all jealous, you're wrong! You have no idea about the delayed action of lettuce soup1

Rubecula

Jellybaby1 wrote: »

If you think we are all jealous, you're wrong! You have no idea about the delayed action of lettuce soup1

Believe I do, as of 4 am this morning ......

bonzodog2

0lddog wrote: »

BTW first program of ISIRTA was repeated on R4 Extra yesterday - after The Goons, oh bliss - ( second will be on same time next week )

Interesting theory, Mr. Prune. Reminds me of my valve radio, wish I still had it.

BrensBenz

Jellybaby1 wrote: »

You have no idea about the delayed action of lettuce soup1

"Lettuce soup???
Lettuce not!
Gurrcake, Sir???
Hits the spot!"

Rubecula, maybe Chucken had a cunning plan to keep you in Ireland for an extra few days. Now, a couple of pounds of gurrcake in you and you would apply for a green passport.

It may not be available in Limerick (or perhaps it goes under a fancy pseudonym in posh Munster) and I'm advised that the guvverment refuses to give it an export license. But we do have a road all the way from Dublin to Limerick now, big enough for lurries carrying gurrcake, so, next visit, give us some notice and we'll organise an initiation ceremony to the Gurrcake Appreciation Society (GAS). You could add the letters GASTRIC (Gurrcake Appreciation Society, Transitory Resident, Ireland Cymru) to your name!

Chucken

Rubecula wrote: »

Dia dhuit my friends, yes I have returned to civilization.

the natives proved to be friendly, although I suspect it was to lull yours truly into a sense of false good health.

I was FORCED to sit at a table with some (frankly quite worryingly good bread and butter) and then ... and then ....... A wild Chucken appeared with SOUP in hand (actually it was in a bowl but you know what I mean) Oh no it couldn't be ... but yes it was. It was green, it was a bowl full, and it was LETTUCE soup. :eek::eek::eek::eek:

t'wasn't bad either but don't let Chucken know.

All in all, I was quite sad to be coming home. I felt truly at home there. Wonderful people. I am certainly going back as soon as I recover.

Well Rubes, I had thought about you running away from the table and luckily I had restraints to hand...so sad I didn't have to use them

The pleasure was all ours btw
It was like meeting an old friend. Ya I said old :pac:

I really must point out that Master Rubes split his time between Limerick city and beautiful East Clare and I live in East Clare...not Limerick..no sireee!

Rubecula

Chucken wrote: »

Well Rubes, I had thought about you running away from the table and luckily I had restraints to hand...so sad I didn't have to use them

The pleasure was all ours btw
It was like meeting an old friend. Ya I said old :pac:

Chucken me dear it was truly wonderful for this oul sod to meet you all

Chucken wrote: »

I really must point out that Master Rubes split his time between Limerick city and beautiful East Clare and I live in East Clare...not Limerick..no sireee!

Yeah sorry about that bit but I am an Englishman and I get confuffled easily xxx :P

Ramette

Super moon tonight it is full and very close to the earth so is 40% larger and 30% brighter than normal...

Jellybaby1

MOON DANCE!!

BBDBB

oooh the craters!

Ramette

The moon in greystones

Alice1

BBDBB wrote: »

oooh the craters!

Ooh, I didn't know you were lurking in the bushes BB!

BBDBB

these heat seeking cameras don't work themselves you know

Rubecula

Great to see you again Alice xxx Yer dance worked by the way. The moon came last night.

BrensBenz

Remember when the refugees would return from a month in the Gaeltacht and they would have those "can't remember the English word for...." spasms? In my hometown, we would lie in ambush and sweep them off to the boozer before they lost the cúpla focal. There, we would produce guitars, ply the Gaelgoirs with apple-flavoured plonk and await the results.

Well, I awoke this morning, well and truly earwormed by the product of one such evening. Tom Jones had been in the charts for what seemed like years with the dirge in 3/4 time about "Delilah". We had some difficulty playing in waltz time but we knew the chords and pointed our returned exiles towards the opening verse. Extracts of the brave effort from one of the lady refugees remained suppressed and dormant in my head.....until this morning.

…I feiced the solus on the oíche I passed by her fuinneog,
I feiced the flickering shadows of grá on her blind
She was mo coilín
As she deceived me I feiced and went out of mo ceann.....

.....At break of lá when that fear drove away, I was ag fannacht
I crossed the sráid to her tig and she ocailt the doras

She stood ag gáire
I felt the scian in mo lámh
And she gáired no more

(All as a chéile anois)

Mo mo mo Delilah
Cén fáth Delilah
So, in ndiaigh
They come to bris síos the doras
Forgive me Delilah I'm just not ábalta tóg anymore.

Jellybaby1

Dammit! I'm going to be singing that all flippin' day now!

Mo, mo, moooooooo, Deliliahhhhhhhhh! (Deedle deedle deedle deedle deeee!)
Cane faw, cane faw, cane fawwwwwww, Deliliah!

Dammit!

Rubecula

had me chuckling with Delilah. You should hear it sung in Welsh by fanatical Welshmen lol

BrensBenz

Jellybaby1 wrote: »

Deedle deedle deedle deedle deeee!

Yes, those deedly dees will getcha every time.

By way of seeking forgiveness for reviving Delilah, may I, most humbly, beseech yiz to have a little listen to this Welch chap. Note that his quota of fingers is equal to (not greater than) yours and mine. Also note that he is actually playing EVERY note himself, unaided, undubbed in later. Finally, although quite strange in appearance, HE BUILT THE INSTRUMENT HIMSELF!

When God was handing out talent, why was I indoors, watching Fireball XL5?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zqTLkgImAdU

Jellybaby1

Well, isn't he the smarty-pants! Long hair, cool guitar-pickin' - what's not to like there! Ta very much Brenz, I'll give the link to himself who is also rather fond of the geet-tore!

(Regarding the deedles, I was afraid you were going to say I had them the wrong way round!)

Rubecula

BrensBenz wrote: »

When God was handing out talent, why was I indoors, watching Fireball XL5?

Probably for the same reason I was. It was the second best space themed kids show on the telly. (The best was Space Patrol)

For those who don't remember it, it was a half hour program. Here is a 4 minute snippet to remind you:

BrensBenz

Jellybaby1 wrote: »

Well, isn't he the smarty-pants! Long hair, cool guitar-pickin' - what's not to like there! Ta very much Brenz, I'll give the link to himself who is also rather fond of the geet-tore!

Does Mr. Jellybaby have a preference for, say, electrical or wooden wood gittores - I have an encyclopedic knowledge, in a very large black book, of gittorists who are better than me and would gladly relay links to them.

Rubecula wrote: »

Probably for the same reason I was. It was the second best space themed kids show on the telly. (The best was Space Patrol)

For those who don't remember it, it was a half hour program. Here is a 4 minute snippet to remind you:

Hmmm. Thanks, Rubecula - Interesting stuff! "Men from Earth, Mars and Venus live and work here, as guardians of peace..."

Can't say I remember this series but I'll certainly ask Mr. Google for more information.

See, in the 1960's, us renegades in "Eire" used to poach TV from Norn Arn, using aerials as big as garden sheds. The Norn Arsh authorities would filter out material suitable for broadcast to GB but unsuitable for Norn Arn (reminder to self: don't make political or religious comment) so maybe Space Patrol wasn't considered appropriate or maybe it was on during conker season.

I just love the mistakes, the wrong assumptions and the primitive effects in early sci-fi. I also have a collection of old maps, again because I find the errors fascinating. And I can listen to Les Dawson playing piano for hours. Am I alone in this interest in "wrongness"?

Rubecula

No Brens I am sure you are not.

BrensBenz

Fierce quite inside in here lately, saw tiz!

Well, I've been busy discussing serious technical matters with the lads in 'sailing and boating' so what's your excuse? And I don't want any 'oul guff from yiz about the dog ate your homework or your Mammy went hupta Dublin and you had to mind the house.

Have yiz had a chance to watch any of the Edinburgh Festival? Tim Vine / best joke: "I've decided to sell my Hoover … well, it was just collecting dust."
Or my favourite, Steven Wright: "If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?"

Rubecula

BrensBenz wrote: »

Fierce quite inside in here lately, saw tiz!

Well, I've been busy discussing serious technical matters with the lads in 'Bailing and Soaking' so what's your excuse? And I don't want any 'oul guff from yiz about the dog ate your homework or your Mammy went hupta Dublin and you had to mind the house.

Have yiz had a chance to watch any of the Edinburgh Festival? Tim Vine / best joke: "I've decided to sell my Hoover … well, it was just collecting dust."
Or my favourite, Steven Wright: "If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?"

Fixed yer post. :pac:
It was the budgie, not the dog. (It is a very big and hungry Budgie, ate a cow that it had caught yesterday :eek: )
No never watch it. Nice one liners though. :pac:

Now I must away to my hibernation chair

BrensBenz

Maybe these skilled musicians, moonlighting from their day jobs and not taking themselves too seriously, will dispel the "unseasonal weather blues".

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H18aK9HhNSM

BrensBenz

Rubecula wrote: »

Fixed yer post. :pac:
It was the budgie, not the dog. (It is a very big and hungry Budgie, ate a cow

Well, budgies are nearly parrots(?) so, did I ever tell you about by buddy's parrot / macaw? His normal spot was in the hallway, where he had a good view of the ground floor and front garden, But he had a disturbed sleep pattern and often woke during the night, got bored and started "doing" the telephone ringtone. Great pair of lungs on him so the whole house was roused to answer the phone. These were the days before changeable ringtones, multiple extensions or mobiles so a mad run downstairs was required. My buddy had to gather a collection of phones and swap them regularly to fool the parrot and get a night's sleep.

His other polite party trick was, when somebody knocked on the front door, he would shout "there's no-one in" in a south Dublin accent. He would repeat this a few times and then....."I told you......there's no-one in".

When he got to know you, he would greet you with "not you again". And when visitors were leaving, he would say...."and don't come back", to which most guests would respond "what???" and he would reply "you heard".

I know that this says more about my buddy than the parrot but this pair will have a chapter to themselves in my memoirs, available soon from all good bookshops.

Jellybaby1

BrensBenz wrote: »

.....I know that this says more about my buddy than the parrot but this pair will have a chapter to themselves in my memoirs, available soon from all good bookshops.

After all those insults I expect they will also have the house to themselves!

Rubecula

Anyone got any nice sweeties to share around?

looksee

Sure aren't we all sweeties, Rube? :-)




Very quiet in here isn't it...
Maybe we should have a party
I'll bring some nibbles and we all know where there is plenty of drink!

Rubecula

AS long as Matron doesn't mind you girls doing pole dancing and us boys wolf whistling at you.

looksee

Even my mind is boggling at the thought of me doing pole dancing! I could waggle all the way down to the bottom, while hanging onto the pole (hopefully a good looking one) but the chances of getting back up again are nil.

Layinghen

Party??? Did someone mention a party???

Count me in, I'll nip down to the cellar and dust off some bottles

Rubecula

I will nip down with Hen and dust off her lol

Jellybaby1

It should be busier in here, 'cuz there's nawthin' on the tellybox. We stepped away from the thing tonight, a look of 'what did we do before telly' on our faces. I think I'll pop into the toyshop tomorrow and buy up all their board games, or a few jigsaw puzzle's's, I might even buy the jigsaw with the pitcher of baked beans, nawthin' else but baked beans. Beans......that reminds me of a song.....now how does it go....

Beans, beans, beans, beans,
Beans, beans, beans, beans,
The navy gets the gravy
And the army gets the
Beans, beans, beans, beans,
Beans, beans, beans, beans.

That's all I know.

looksee

I know a much ruder one about beans but in my reyfiened position as mod I will not repeat it as I might have to card myself...