All ye oul wans and oul fellas out there! Wakey wakey, rise and shine!

BrensBenz

Can yiz believe it's almost May Day? Earlier today, as I scanned the wasteland we laughingly call our "garden", I noticed that our 30+ year-old pear tree, which never dun nutt'n until last year when it produced a gansey-load of fruit-coloured grenades, has now dressed itself in a really beautiful cloak of "pear"(?) blossom.

I'd post a picture but, you know, photos onto boards? Stress? Failure?

Now, some genius once told me that a lady pear tree needs a gentleman pear tree, or vice versa, on the flightpath and within the range of a bee before the tree will produce fruit. Well, I'm not having any of that carry-on going on in my garden! And I'd love to know just how my tree managed to do that last year in this pear tree-less wilderness. The Woof is still housebound and he's at the patio window, watching and waiting for bees intent on performing IVF on our, as yet, unmarried pear tree.

Jellybaby1

BrensBenz wrote: »

....Now, some genius once told me that a lady pear tree needs a gentleman pear tree, or vice versa, on the flightpath and within the range of a bee before the tree will produce fruit.....

Steady on! Spare my blushes. Down with that sort of thing!

Alice1

I want to see a picture of the pear tree "cloaked" in blossom

BBDBB

Please Sir, Alice is being filthy sir

looksee

BBDBB wrote: »

Please Sir, Alice is being filthy sir

Is she? Goodness that quite passed me by! *innocent*

BrensBenz

BBDBB wrote: »

Please Sir, Alice is being filthy sir

Alice1 wrote: »

I want to see a picture of the pear tree "cloaked" in blossom

BBDBB, Because of my sheltered childhood, I don't understand that! Why do I get the feeling I'm missing out on something?

Alice1, Just yesterday, another upstanding citizen posted a War and Peace I mean "how to" add photos to boards. A quick scan (that's all I've had time to do so far) suggested it to be a loooonnnnngggg and familiar list of unconnected and non-intuitive.....oh, alright.....bluddy stupid actions. Unfortunately, (and a more detailed reading may contradict this) it appears to be very similar to my own haphazard method and previously suggested efforts from posters, all of which only work when there's a "N" in the day and there's a full tide in Leitrim.

Somewhere within loike the boards hierorky there's loike a Nerd? who knows that the boards loike system(?) for loike adding phaytays? is loike neanderthal and unreliable? He / she also knows how to fix it, even if this means that he / she merely copies the simple and reliable systems in use by hundreds of similar sites all over the world. But, by way of revenge for the slagging he got during his / her youth for being a Nerd, he / she now gets their only kicks from "getting a rise" or irritating non-nerds. The boards system will not be fixed and boards "Help(?)" will continue to describe an entirely different process, in unintelligible language.

Therefore, in order to satisfy your wish for a photo of the pear blossom, I hereby offer to meet you under Clerys clock, at a time and date to suit you, drive you to BrensBenz Manor, supply a camera of your choice and assist you to take a photo, which I shall personally print, frame and hang for you.

Now, there are two reasons you need to be quick:

• Pear blossom doesn't last very long;
• The Woof is still a hobbling tripod but his teeth still work well; he can move when he wants; he's just as cranky as ever and doesn't like visitors in his garden. You'll need to set a fast shutter speed, wear trainers and be prepared to vault the fence, with your ears full of growly, snarly barking. If you misjudge the fence, we keep an anti-tetanus syringe in the fridge so you'll be grand in a few days.

looksee

Alice, do you know, I get just a flickering sense of insincerity in BrensBenz's invitation. Like, come but I don't recommend it. And he is evading the issue of the photo. I begin to suspect this cloak of blossom...

Rubecula

I think it is more likely a string vest and a pair of socks with holes in of blossom.

Jellybaby1

I might suggest that the word 'cloaked' is a megalithic word for.........ehmm.....ermmm......cough......well, something else! But I won't.

Oh yoohoo, Mr. Brensbenz, where are youuuuu? If you are going to a maritime fundraising event in your neck of the woods tomorrow I might just brush shoulders with you. I'll be the one in the mac, and sunglasses, and I'll be keeping my eye out for you in your Benz. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

BrensBenz

Jellybaby1 wrote: »

I might suggest that the word 'cloaked' is a megalithic word for.........ehmm.....ermmm......cough......well, something else! But I won't.

Oh yoohoo, Mr. Brensbenz, where are youuuuu? If you are going to a maritime fundraising event in your neck of the woods tomorrow I might just brush shoulders with you. I'll be the one in the mac, and sunglasses, and I'll be keeping my eye out for you in your Benz. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

OK, under extreme duress, I admit that "cloak" might not be the best word but "shroud" was a no-no and "coat" sounded a little samey. Despite being 34 years old, our pear tree is only five feet high. It produced blossoms sometime around 1991 and I photographed my little girl talking to them. Since then - naffink until last year when we got blossoms AND a crop of Weapons of Dental Destruction.

Regarding the fundraising event - I didn't even know! Unfortunately, my medications are currently causing me severe difficulty with UV light and socialising. Even Infra Red (heat) is troublesome but, if the weather stays like this (Fifty Shades of Grey) I might venture down to the beach. I'll be the one with the biggest hat you've ever seen and my skin will be scattering young ladies and scaring kids.

Alice1

I only asked...

Rubecula

That was your first mistake Alice

looksee

I call shenanigans on the definition of cloak! After extensive research (5 minutes of googling) the only dodgy meaning I could find was in Urban Dictionary. UD does not count as it can find a dodgy synonym for almost every word in daily use.

*cranks up oratory* We must stand up for language and refuse this makey-up dodgyness, or what will happen to the poetry of expression in our lives. And so on and so forth. :eek: :P

BrensBenz

looksee wrote: »

We must stand up for language and refuse this makey-up dodgyness, or what will happen to the poetry of expression in our lives.

Loike I toddaly agree with this?
I was loike what's the problem? and they were loike it's naughty? and I was loike but why? Confused much.

We must loike preserve err use of language. What would loike happen if we let err standards loike todally slip loike?

Now, I was going to go to my leaba but Zontar has just landed on Earth (or Urth, as those movie stars call it) and you know you can't turn your back on them Venusians. But there's no need for youse to stay up. Off you go to sleep and don't worry about me. I'll be alright and I won't let Zontar take control of yiz.

Did I ever tell yiz about the time, as a kid, I went to see a dinosaur fillim and I ran home, in the dark, terrified and strung a load of milk bottle tops across the bottom of the stairs so that I'd hear a dinosaur if he started coming up the zzzzzzzzzzz......zzzzzzzzzz

Jellybaby1

Sorry you are feeling so icky Brens. If the weather is like this, I may not venture out at all at all. What a horrible start to May. I remember that fillum 'Camelot' when Lancelot arrived and bumped into King Arfur. And Arfur brought Lance to meet the missus, Guinevere, and there she was in the 'lusty month of May' dancin' and singin' and frolickin' amongst the daisies with the other knights of the roundy table, the sky was bloo, and sun was shinin' and the burds were tweetin' and all was.....welll, not like today anyway! Hope you will soon be feeling a bit better Brens.

BrensBenz

Jellybaby1 wrote: »

I remember that fillum 'Camelot' when Lancelot arrived and bumped into King Arfur. And Arfur brought Lance to meet the missus, Guinevere, and there she was in the 'lusty month of May' dancin' and singin' and frolickin' amongst the daisies with the other knights of the roundy table, the sky was bloo, and sun was shinin' and the burds were tweetin' and all was.....

What? No Venusians? No dinosaurs? No huge, schpring schprong cars going off cliffs and exploding three times? Did they spontaneously burst into song while accompanied by invisible orchestras full of instruments which hadn't been invented yet? Did they all have olden day costumes but up-to-date hairdos and make-up? You must have been fierce disappointed with that fillim!

Many thanks for the good wishes. I'm coming out of the chemo-bombing now but one nasty side-effect has become a problem over the past month, that is, since UV made its first real appearance of 2015.

http://www.skerrieslifeboat.ie/

There isn't much that hasn't been said a thousand times before about the RNLI lifeboat organisation - lives saved; volunteer crews risking their own lives; 24/7/365; funded only by donations, etc. but, if any of yiz see a collection box, give whatever you can because it all helps.

Jellybaby1

Well, Camelot was made when fillums were a bit quieter. Yes, they all wore the right gear for the time, but every time they opened their gobs to sing there was this philharmonic orchestra nearby but out of sight playing in the background! How'd that happen I wondered? No I didn't of course, I knew, they were hired by Sir g'wan g'wan g'wan, who was usually known only by one g'wan, pronounced Gawain. I loved that fillum.

I didn't get to go to NCD today after all. An 'inconvenience' occurred which prevented me. I will of course send a donation instead.

looksee

The lifeboats and the Order of Malta ambulance appeals are the ones that always get a donation from me, the rest of them take their chance on my humour on the day!

BrensBenz

Jellybaby1 wrote: »

I will of course send a donation instead.

looksee wrote: »

The lifeboats and the Order of Malta ambulance appeals are the ones that always get a donation from me

Good to hear!

But isn't it sad that the names of legitimate charities are being used by chancers to defraud the public? Just a couple of weeks ago, while baby-sitting in Co. Meath, I answered the door to two "lads" selling cupcakes for the Darkness into Light campaign. No ID, their manner was a little gruff but the patter was flawless, and, being a soft touch, I went indoors for some change. While there, my son asked whether these lads were back, "selling tarmac again!" Apparently, they turn up regularly with a new story each time.

We didn't buy cupcakes but several family members are taking part in an event to raise money for Darkness into Light. I think suicide is a far bigger problem in Ireland than we realise so Darkness into Light is on my list too.

BrensBenz

What a great institution is our NCT service! A national treasure, operated by geniuses who know everything about cars. You know, I've actually heard grumbles and complaints about the NCT but not from me. NoSiree!

Why only today, I just happened to be in an NCT centre, watching telly, as you do, when the nice man handed me an NCT cert and, in a beautiful Polish accent, told me that my car was "a very nice old lady". Then he went on to praise, of all things, the new bolts in the anti-roll bar - "the nicest bolts I heff ever seen", he said. "I vish everybody had bolts like zem."

"Aww, shucks," I said, not wishing to create a wave of jealousy in the Waiting Area. "They're just M8x30s with a female Torx head. Nutt'n special." "No no", he replied. "Zeeze are not just beautiful bolts" he said, as he turned to the other people watching telly - "zay are beautifully fitted bolts. Did you have zem professionally fitted?" "Well......no.........", to which he gasped "You mean you fitted zem.....yourself?" I could feel waves of admiration from all present but you know me - a genius of course, but modest.

As I drove the Big Blue Brick away, I could see a dozen or so noses pressed to the windows of the Waiting Area, hungrily drinking in the sight of my car, with its brand new NCT cert in the window screen. Wouldn't be surprised if social media crashed very soon after. Oh well, ho hum......

Jellybaby1

How sweet of him to say how beautiful your car is Brens. Isn't it nice to get a compliment now and then. (Big 'ead! :rolleyes:)

Rubecula

Jellybaby1 wrote: »

How sweet of him to say how beautiful your car is Brens. Isn't it nice to get a compliment now and then. (Big 'ead! :rolleyes:)

Not as beautiful as you JB

Wanders off all blushy and embarrassed

Jellybaby1

Rubecula wrote: »

Not as beautiful as you JB

Wanders off all blushy and embarrassed

Oh, you! :rolleyes: :o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o

BrensBenz

Good thing I installed a schmaltz trough under my monitor. Oh oh, it's full.
While I empty it, could youse pair get a room?

Jellybaby1

I will remind all that I am a married lady for many a decade and himself peruses these forums/fora now and again. I will be divorced because of Rubecula and his flightiness! :eek:

BrensBenz

Jellybaby1 wrote: »

I will remind all that I am a married lady for many a decade and himself peruses these forums/fora now and again. I will be divorced because of Rubecula and his flightiness! :eek:

OK. Schmaltz trough has been emptied and replaced.

Does "himself" know how lucky he is?

Oh oh, it's filling up again.

BBDBB

oooh that's a lovely cardigan you have on



am I doing it right?

OldGoat

Topsy turvy.
I've been describing my life lately as topsy turvy and I've just come to realise that while I understand what topsy turvy implies I have no idea what it actually means. Does anyone know the origins of the phrase?

Another thing, can two words actually BE a phrase?

BBDBB

not sure

BrensBenz

"Turvey" is well represented in NCD, especially around Donabate, in place-names and surnames. During our first day in secondary skewell, we discovered that one of the strange lads, with luminescent red hair, was called Turvey. It didn't matter what his first names were - he automatically became "Coppertops Turvey", which, later that day, was shortened to "Topsy".

As he used to spend a lot of time upside down in the loos, "topsy turvy" came to mean "upside down" and so, once again, Skerries, the centre of the Cosmos, gave unto humanity yet another phrase to join with Dickey Dickey Dout, Queenee I O, Red Rover, etc., etc.

Then, in a generous attempt to reduce the inferiority that other towns would feel in the presence of Skerries, we dusted over the trail to the origin of topsy turvy. Good thing I'm here now, in sound mind and body!

In the 1980's, the English tried to capture credit when they introduced Kevin Turvey to the nation but it was too late. "Kevin" just didn't have the same magic as "topsy" and never really caught on.

You're welcome.

Rubecula

top is topsy
bottom or base is turvy








I think.......

Jellybaby1

BrensBenz wrote: »

....Does "himself" know how lucky he is?

:D:D:D

BBDBB wrote: »

oooh that's a lovely cardigan you have on

am I doing it right?

:D:D:D

OldGoat wrote: »

Topsy turvy.
I've been describing my life lately as topsy turvy and I've just come to realise that while I understand what topsy turvy implies I have no idea what it actually means. Does anyone know the origins of the phrase?

Another thing, can two words actually BE a phrase?

The first time I ever came across this term topsy turvy was in the children's book 'Rupert'. Remember the bear with the red gansy and the yellow checked trousers? No matter the weather he also always wore a matching yellow checked scarf. I loved the artwork in particular, it always seemed to me so cosy, a bit like the Secret Seven running home in time for tea and cake and lashings of ginger beer. But the most intriguing part of the book was the names of his pals. Mr. Google reminded me they were Bill Badger, Edward Trunk, Pong Ping, Algy Pug, Podgy Pig, Bingo, Freddy and Ferdy, Ming, and also...............WISE OLD GOAT!! So that's where he got his username!

looksee

This was niggling at me so l looked it up...[C16: probably from tops, plural of top + obsolete tervy to turn upside down; perhaps related to Old English tearflian to roll over]

Jellybaby1

I wondered who would go that far to find out! Shoulda known.

looksee

Jellybaby1 wrote: »

I wondered who would go that far to find out! Shoulda known.

Cheek! Look what I am mod of, it was almost compulsory!

0lddog

Skerries to Turvey ( aka Turvy) Avenue

Snr Google suggests the following route :


https://www.google.ie/maps/dir/Skerries/Turvey+Ave,+Donabate,+Co.+Dublin/@53.5329753,-6.2253911,12z/am=t/data=!4m14!4m13!1m5!1m1!1s0x486718989a1cd8d1:0xa00c7a997317b80!2m2!1d-6.1078779!2d53.5805519!1m5!1m1!1s0x486719f790fa61e3:0x459bcae9a3094666!2m2!1d-6.1747357!2d53.4909271!5i1


Driving directions:

via R13220 min
16.4 km
18 min without traffic · Show traffic

Skerries
Co. Dublin
Follow R127
6 min (4.9 km)
Turn right
Take R132 to Turvey Ave
9 min (7.8 km)
Drive to Turvey Ave
2 min (1.4 km)
Turvey Ave
Donabate, Co. Dublin
These directions are for planning purposes only. You may find that construction projects, traffic, weather, or other events may cause conditions to differ from the map results, and you should plan your route accordingly. You must obey all signs or notices regarding your route.


HTH

Top of the morning to you all


Olddog

BrensBenz

0lddog wrote: »

Skerries to Turvey ( aka Turvy) Avenue

Snr Google suggests the following route :

https://www.google.ie/maps/dir/Skerries/Turvey+Ave,+Donabate,+Co.+Dublin/@53.5329753,-6.2253911,12z/am=t/data=!4m14!4m13!1m5!1m1!1s0x486718989a1cd8d1:0xa00c7a997317b80!2m2!1d-6.1078779!2d53.5805519!1m5!1m1!1s0x486719f790fa61e3:0x459bcae9a3094666!2m2!1d-6.1747357!2d53.4909271!5i1

Driving directions:

via R13220 min
16.4 km
18 min without traffic · Show traffic

Skerries
Co. Dublin
Follow R127
6 min (4.9 km)
Turn right
Take R132 to Turvey Ave
9 min (7.8 km)
Drive to Turvey Ave
2 min (1.4 km)
Turvey Ave
Donabate, Co. Dublin

Olddog

Well, Snr. Google got it wrong! Here's the proper route to Turvey Avenue from Skerries, the Centre of the Cosmos.

https://www.google.ie/maps/dir/Skerries/Turvey+Ave,+Donabate,+Co.+Dublin/@53.5380502,-6.1330373,12z/data=!4m19!4m18!1m10!1m1!1s0x486718989a1cd8d1:0xa00c7a997317b80!2m2!1d-6.1078779!2d53.5805519!3m4!1m2!1d-6.1608724!2d53.5373325!3s0x4867184cfc63c2a1:0x3b6d1d53c8b6d540!1m5!1m1!1s0x486719f790fa61e3:0x459bcae9a3094666!2m2!1d-6.1747357!2d53.4909271!3e0

It is, or at least, in the old days, was a very long, straight, picturesque, tree-lined avenue with a few large, rather grand houses and shiny horses in huge gardens. Haven't been there for donkeys' years but I hope it hasn't changed too much, i.e. I hope it hasn't been topsied.

looksee

Why were they keeping horses in their gardens?

looksee

Yes, that is indeed a very straight road. Not great for road-bowling really.

Alice1

I don't know how to link to another thread. However, there is a thread in Consumer Issues that might be of interest to we "more mature" people. It is regarding a company called yourtel.
If you get a call from this company, please be very wary as they are not all they might appear to be.
Google also has some interesting info and RTE Consumer Show did an interesting article on them this evening at 8.30

BrensBenz

looksee wrote: »

Why were they keeping horses in their gardens?

Because they could! The gardens were so humongous that, while they were officially in Donabate, the houses were in Lusk!

Not a boat or boatshed to be seen though so they wern't all that great!

BrensBenz

Alice1 wrote: »

I don't know how to link to another thread. However, there is a thread in Consumer Issues that might be of interest to we "more mature" people. It is regarding a company called yourtel.
If you get a call from this company, please be very wary as they are not all they might appear to be.
Google also has some interesting info and RTE Consumer Show did an interesting article on them this evening at 8.30

Good information Alice1, thank you. I wasn't aware but I will pass your advice onto my posse, many of whom are dissatisfied with their telecoms / broadband suppliers and may be investigating alternatives.

Chucken

I'm taking it really easy today. Doing the Darkness into Light at 4am :eek:
Doing a bit of traffic management from 3am. Don't know if I should stay up or go to bed for a few hours later!

BrensBenz

Chucken wrote: »

Doing the Darkness into Light at 4am :eek:

Me too, so best of luck to you! Apparently, I'm a crucial member of the support crew. Suits me because....and noh a loh of peepul know this........there are no UV monsters around at 4:00AM in the morning, even in the tropical paradise of Skerries.

Jellybaby1

Take care on the roads at that hour Chuckie.

Chucken

Back in one piece Well really I'm in bits but so happy I did it. Managed to get to the finish line last
Over 1000 people turned out. Not bad for a small town.
Hope you got through it ok Brens.
Going to try get some sleep now

Layinghen

Well done Chucken, enjoy the rest.

Rubecula

Brilliant Chuck xxxx Well done, bet you had a lovely bowl of soup when you got home.

Jellybaby1

Well done Chuckie. How long was it?

Chucken

It was 5km Jelly, but I have osteoarthritis and usually that far would scare me. My friend and I took our time so the pain was bearable. I thought I wouldnt be able to move yesterday but just had a slight pain in my hip. Didnt get much sleep after it so had a lovely early night last night