RELIGIOUS INDOCTRINATION

rambutman

I'm in the middle of whats starting to be a messy seperation and was sitting down yesterday with my former wife, solicitors and a mediator. We were airing our concerns for parenting and while i quiet patiently listening to my FW's, said I appreciated her views and would do best to accommodate them I was asked for my own concerns. I had 1 really - that I didn't want Islam pushed upon my children (I have 1 boy (6) and 1 daughter (4)). I put it like this - i can appreciate that my wife would like to bring our children up as Muslems and that while I have no problem with her educating them on Islam. I didn't want certain things (especially circumcision) forced upon my boy. When he was at an age where he could choose whether or not to do it himself he could make the choice himself. My FW was asked her opinion on this and her remark was that she thought it was of no importance and that I had apparently said before we were married that she could bring our children up as muslems. This is a blatant lie as i have very strong views on religion and feel that a much more suitable way of religiously educating children is to educate on a wide range of religions and when they are old enough let them choose themselves. I still feel this way.
Her remarks started to get under my skin and I've been awake all night thinking about them.
Other related issues are starting to concern me.
I had my son around in my house recently and was eating dinner with him. He said "I don't eat pig cos I'm a muslem". A friend of mine was there and asked "and why is that". My son replied "mommy says I'm allergic to pig and if i eat it my head will swell up like a balloon". Surely this is not something to tell a child and is basically scaring them into thinking a certain way.
My son and daughter are now starting to greet people with "are you muslem or christian, we're muslem". My kids were staying with my mother recently and she brought out for a walk of our local neighbourhood. To everyone they met they asked the same question. My parents live in rural Ireland and my mother said she was cringeing at the time. Later on she voiced her concerns about it and said that basically if they go around doing that they're going to isolate themselves in their community. I said, I know what she means but you know what the FW is like, shes not open to reasonable conversation and that it was best not to rock the boat.
My sons teacher has already expressed concern about this and said that my son needs to integrate more with other boys in school rather than just the two little muslem boys he hangs around with.
I've no problem with islam, christianity, whatever but believe in an integrated society where everybody respects everyone elses faith and not too much notice or issue is drawn to it.
I can't believe now i've been letting this go on so easily. my kids can't stand up for themselves and i think i need to buck up and start fighting for them. I have no idea how i'm going to get around this with my FW but cant let my fears stand in the way of my childrens best interests and their right to choice and not have certain views pushed upon them.
I don't know exactly what I'm asking her but some balanced opinions from un-involved people would be appreciated.

January

I'm not quite sure what you're asking either, you and your ex partner need to decide together, through mediation which religion to bring your children up. None of us can tell you what is right or wrong.

Thread closed.