Woooooooooooooooo hooooooooooooo!!!

WesternNight

johnn wrote: »

Even if they still have....for lack of a better word....a cawk?

Even if.

tallaghtmick

Links234 wrote: »

you know, I wouldn't put straight in quotation marks like that, because for a guy to like a trans girl, that's perfectly straight.

oops meant for the time being while you still have your manship there

johnn

johnn wrote: »

Keep digging :rolleyes:
A lot of ignorance in this thread.

What's your problem now?

Links234

johnn wrote: »

Keep digging :rolleyes:

stop hounding Bluewolf, she clarified what she meant

Fittle

Congratulations Links:D

As the mother of a young boy, I often wonder how his life will pan out - we all just want our kids to be happy, ya know? No matter what their particular 'issue' is...my lad currently loves football and is very 'boyish' but who knows what's around the corner for him?

I hope your mam is really proud of you for taking this momentous step on your journey in life...well, I hope both your parents are:D

Well done, keep strong and I'll follow your blog with interest;)

*passes links a party hat*

johnn

bluewolf wrote: »

What's your problem now?

Your ignorant attitude towards the OP on this happy day

Links234

johnn wrote: »

Your ignorant attitude towards the OP on this happy day

she hasn't been ignorant towards me at ALL! cut it out

johnn

johnn wrote: »

Your ignorant attitude towards the OP on this happy day

Maybe you should learn to read before you go around calling people ignorant.

dr.bollocko

Folks lets leave out the personal stuff from here on out.
Cooler heads etc.

hondasam

someone just looking for an argument, best to ignore it.

Hi links

squishykins

I haz sparklers, bluewolf has the party hats, we need caek people!

Links234

Fittle wrote: »

Congratulations Links:D

As the mother of a young boy, I often wonder how his life will pan out - we all just want our kids to be happy, ya know? No matter what their particular 'issue' is...my lad currently loves football and is very 'boyish' but who knows what's around the corner for him?

I hope your mam is really proud of you for taking this momentous step on your journey in life...well, I hope both your parents are:D

Well done, keep strong and I'll follow your blog with interest;)

that's a really wonderful post, thank you

yeah, my mam's words were "I'm happy that you're happy"

squishykins

squishykins wrote: »

I haz sparklers, bluewolf has the party hats, we need caek people!

I make a kick ass chocolate cake
:cool:

strobe

bluewolf wrote: »

When I said "early" previously I didn't mean like 1st date.
I would say it's better to wait a few dates. That's still early enough but late enough that the other person may realise any preconceptions they had are maybe wrong.

Wouldn't necessarily have to be on the first date but should be before anything physical goes on, in my opinion. The reality is that a lot of people would feel 'violated' for want of a better word if that information was kept from them until after they had had sexual experiences with the person. I'm not saying it's right or wrong that people would feel that way, it's just the reality of the situation.

hondasam

bluewolf wrote: »

I make a kick ass chocolate cake
:cool:

get in the kitchen and start baking

Links234

I'll provide some tunes for the party

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fE8EMWxuZB0

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WWmgpnHjgdw

Links234

strobe wrote: »

Wouldn't necessarily have to be on the first date but should be before anything physical goes on, in my opinion.

The general rule of thumb I've heard from a lot of trans people is "before the first kiss" which seems sensible

deirdre_dub

Jakkass wrote: »

This is your understanding of it. Others may differ irrespective of how right you may think you are.

Are we are back to the whole "is it gay" question?

If others disagree with me that it is straight, it is because they don't see me as a woman, which is a deal-breaker.

This is why it is much easier to say that while you have the full liberty to alter any aspect of your fundamental appearance (of course arguably more, but this is up for discussion) when it affects other peoples lives it is something serious that does need to be disclosed.

As I said, I am working hard to ensure that it does not have any effect whatsoever on other people's lives. I believe I will, in the not too distant future, achieve that goal, whereupon I believe I will be entirely within my rights to keep my medical history private.

As for the "liberty to alter any aspect of my fundamental appearance" - as I said above, this isn't a choice. I neither choose nor want to be a woman. It is a medical condition that I am receiving treatment for. It is fundamentally no different to someone with a broken leg "fundamentally altering their appearance" by putting it in a plaster cast.

Indeed, and while you have the liberty to make such choices, you do not have the liberty to force everyone else to agree with your understanding of it.

That I am a woman is a truth that I know to be correct, that is backed up by science, that I have legal recognition for, and that I have letters from psychiatrists, psychologists and endocrinologists for. So it is not just me that is "forcing everyone else" to accept the truth.

When I was in the womb, something happened with the hormonal environment that my mother generated, which ended up with me literally having a female brain in a male body. I think and feel like a female. Too much testosterone is poison to me. Hence I am receiving treatment to reduce the amount of testosterone and increase the amount of estrogen and, as a result, I feel much much better, I am functioning a lot better, and I am an awful lot healthier.

Irrespective of what slant one may put on the issue, if I found that I was in a relationship and wasn't told this up front only to be told it at a later stage I don't think it would be my fault if I was upset about it to be frank with you. Indeed, it would be perfectly normal.

The only way that I can see for you to not get upset is to ensure that every woman that you come into contact with knows that this is your stance.

As I said, the first thing I would be doing with any man I come across where there is potential for something serious between us is to find out if he is homophobic / transphobic, or find out if he has "issues" with trans people. I would hope that the efforts I would take with you would teach me that you do, indeed, have such "issues", and that I would back off.

johnn

bluewolf wrote: »

Maybe you should learn to read before you go around calling people ignorant.

bluewolf wrote: »

Maybe you should learn to read before you go around calling people ignorant.

Are you calling my use of the word "ignorant" ignorant?

Congrats to the OP

Wolfe Tone

I think and feel like a female.

How can you say that really? How can anyone define how one sex thinks and feels?

Gummy Panda

johnn wrote: »

Are you calling my use of the word "ignorant" ignorant?

Congrats to the OP

Give it a rest

tallaghtmick

time to get thread a little chilled so im gonna post good and bad points if i was to go through what links will and deirdre dub has gone through:pac:

good points:i can finally put my moobs to good use
hairy back/crack will be gone
balding head would start to grow hair again
id have a shot with hot lesbian in work:D

bad points:very deep voice would only drop a bit id still be pretty barry whiteish
at 6f4 with a rugby players build and size 11 feet no clothes would fit me
really dont have a feminine face at all no hormone threatment could sort this mush
my poor child would be confused and his mother wouldnt be happy with a rival mammy:D
last but not least if i lose tallaghtmick "junior" many ladies will be left dissapointed :pac::pac::pac::pac:

mrsdewinter

Erm, nothing new to add (though the level of knowledge about human sexuality and psychology among boardsies never fails to surprise me ) but congrats, Links!

WesternNight

Wolfe Tone wrote: »

How can you say that really? How can anyone define how one sex thinks and feels?

Gender identity. We (generally) identify as either male or female from the age of about two or three (although some studies suggest earlier). That's how.

deirdre_dub

tallaghtmick wrote: »

Links234 wrote:

you know, I wouldn't put straight in quotation marks like that, because for a guy to like a trans girl, that's perfectly straight.

oops meant for the time being while you still have your manship there

The whole point is that gender isn't between the legs - it's between the ears. So a trans woman being with a man is a straight relationship regardless of whether she has had the operation or not.

Yes, I realise that that can be a bit of a head wrecker - but that is where she (and all trans people) are coming from.

tallaghtmick

deirdre_dub wrote: »

The whole point is that gender isn't between the legs - it's between the ears. So a trans woman being with a man is a straight relationship regardless of whether she has had the operation or not.

Yes, I realise that that can be a bit of a head wrecker - but that is where she (and all trans people) are coming from.

without opening a whole new can of worms but if someones penis be it male or trans is up another man a** thats still gay sex

deirdre_dub

Wolfe Tone wrote: »

I think and feel like a female.

How can you say that really? How can anyone define how one sex thinks and feels?

That is a good question.

It is a question that I, obviously, spent an awful lot of time, energy and money answering for myself before I "took the plunge" and started on HRT.

It's really difficult to explain. I could talk about how I have more shoes than is healthy, how I don't have an interest in sports etc, but those aren't actually foolproof indicators of thinking and feeling like a female.

I'm afraid you are just going to have to take my word for it. I really really really tried very hard indeed to "be male". It simply didn't work. I wish it did - my life would be a whole lot easier if it did - but I just couldn't make it work.

On the other hand, as soon as I started to "be female", I lost a ton of weight, I found myself to be much much much happier, and a whole lot of my life suddenly "made sense".

That's the best answer I can give, I'm afraid.

Nodin

Links234 wrote: »

I'm just so happy I wanna scream it from the rooftops!

Yesterday morning, I got this in my stomach. Ouch! It's an injection that I'll be taking once a month now for the foreseeable future, and it stops my testosterone production.

It wasn't easy, and it was an incredibly stressful time leading up to this point, but I've started Hormone Replacement Therapy. :D:D

Why do they give it in the stomach?

philologos

deirdre_dub wrote: »

Are we are back to the whole "is it gay" question?

A lot of people won't be comfortable with the idea and that's totally understandable as I see it.

deirdre_dub wrote: »

If others disagree with me that it is straight, it is because they don't see me as a woman, which is a deal-breaker.

I don't really mind what criteria you place, as long as one can recognise that others may have theirs.

deirdre_dub wrote: »

As I said, I am working hard to ensure that it does not have any effect whatsoever on other people's lives. I believe I will, in the not too distant future, achieve that goal, whereupon I believe I will be entirely within my rights to keep my medical history private.

This is why it is important to be forthright. It isn't possible to ensure that it won't affect other peoples lives while the very thing that will affect them will be concealed.

As far as I see it the other person has the right to know. I wouldn't consider it fair for me to hide something crucially important about my identity with any potential partner.

deirdre_dub wrote: »

As for the "liberty to alter any aspect of my fundamental appearance" - as I said above, this isn't a choice. I neither choose nor want to be a woman. It is a medical condition that I am receiving treatment for. It is fundamentally no different to someone with a broken leg "fundamentally altering their appearance" by putting it in a plaster cast.

In your view.

deirdre_dub wrote: »

That I am a woman is a truth that I know to be correct, that is backed up by science, that I have legal recognition for, and that I have letters from psychiatrists, psychologists and endocrinologists for. So it is not just me that is "forcing everyone else" to accept the truth.

It depends on how one distinguishes gender or sex, and what constitutes this distinction. There are differing views on this. Some would consider sex biological and gender more a social means of identity. Others would consider them to be both biological, others would consider them to be the same.

deirdre_dub wrote: »

The only way that I can see for you to not get upset is to ensure that every woman that you come into contact with knows that this is your stance.

I will trust that in every relationship I get myself into the other half will be completely and honestly transparent about themselves as I will be transparent about myself. That's common decency, no?

deirdre_dub wrote: »

I would hope that the efforts I would take with you would teach me that you do, indeed, have such "issues", and that I would back off.

Are you for real? Because I don't agree with you I have "issues". I think any reasonable observer can think about how outlandish this statement is.

I'm only interested in civil discussion, if you want to mess about with ad-hominems go over to the Thunderdome*

* If not all good, but I don't think that lark is on if that is what you're saying.

deirdre_dub

tallaghtmick wrote: »

without opening a whole new can of worms but if someones penis be it male or trans is up another man a** thats still gay sex

Damn - there are some really good questions on AH this evening! What's going on? :eek: Is the sky going to fall in?!

The answer is - "it depends". It is more than likely that a man doing that to a trans woman would be perceived by both as being straight sex (with the anus being a "substitute vagina").

As for a trans woman doing that to a man - well, that is where I start to get stumped. I think most trans women would never dream of doing that to a man - most trans women are somewhat disgusted by their "manhood", and so cannot involve it in sexual activity. Also, HRT often renders the "manhood" completely inoperable as a sex instrument.

But for those trans women who would - well, you would really have to ask the two people involved what it meant for them. I guess it's no different to a cisgendered (= opposite of transgendered) woman with a strap-on doing it to her partner :eek: .

GLaDOS

Very happy for you Links, hope it all goes well Subscribed to your log and look forward to seeing how you prgoress.

deirdre_dub

Jakkass wrote: »

A lot of people won't be comfortable with the idea and that's totally understandable as I see it.

I think the important question - the thing that is at the root of all this discussion - is "why?".

Why are so many people uncomfortable with the idea of sex with a trans person? As a trans person, I'd really like to know! It kinda has a huge impact on my life!

It isn't possible to ensure that it won't affect other peoples lives while the very thing that will affect them will be concealed.

How could it possibly affect the lives of others?

OK - there is one way - I cannot have children. So I am in the same situation as every sterile person is. Do you believe that all sterile people should go around with neon signs over their heads saying "I'm sterile"?

As far as I see it the other person has the right to know.

WHY?!

I wouldn't consider it fair for me to hide something crucially important about my identity with any potential partner.

The whole point is that I'm not concealing anything about my identity. I am presenting myself as female, and that is exactly what I am.

In your view.

And in the view of science, of the psychiatrists and psychologists I've been diagnosed by, of my therapist, of the endocrinologist who treats me, of my family, of my co-workers, of my friends, and of everyone important to me in my life.

It depends on how one distinguishes gender or sex, and what constitutes this distinction. There are differing views on this. Some would consider sex biological and gender more a social means of identity. Others would consider them to be both biological, others would consider them to be the same.

If you define people by what's between their legs, rather than what's in their hearts or their heads, then that is your choice. Frankly, I think it is a particularly narrow way of looking at people.

I will trust that in every relationship I get myself into the other half will be completely and honestly transparent about themselves as I will be transparent about myself. That's common decency, no?

You mean that there is nothing that you would consider to be private?

Though you have a point, in a way. If I find myself telling myself "I must remember to never ever let this person learn about my medical past", then I need to ask myself why I am remaining in the relationship.

Fluorescence

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1npWhzBJAzA

CONGRATULATIONS!

deirdre_dub

Nodin wrote: »

Why do they give it in the stomach?

Another good question. :eek:

It is a "slow release" pill. It isn't actually given in the stomach - it is injected between the skin and the muscle (I believe), where it lies, slowly releasing the anti-androgens into the system.

philologos

deirdre_dub wrote: »

Why are so many people uncomfortable with the idea of sex with a trans person? As a trans person, I'd really like to know! It kinda has a huge impact on my life!
How could it possibly affect the lives of others?

As mentioned. It's a huge thing even in terms of life experience for someone to have lived as a male for so long. Secondly, it is a significant thing that there will be no possibility of starting a biological family.

deirdre_dub wrote: »

OK - there is one way - I cannot have children. So I am in the same situation as every sterile person is. Do you believe that all sterile people should go around with neon signs over their heads saying "I'm sterile"?

Actually, I think that would be a significant detail before long as well. I don't think people should hide that from a partner.

deirdre_dub wrote: »

WHY?!
The whole point is that I'm not concealing anything about my identity. I am presenting myself as female, and that is exactly what I am.
And in the view of science, of the psychiatrists and psychologists I've been diagnosed by, of my therapist, of the endocrinologist who treats me, of my family, of my co-workers, of my friends, and of everyone important to me in my life.
If you define people by what's between their legs, rather than what's in their hearts or their heads, then that is your choice. Frankly, I think it is a particularly narrow way of looking at people.
You mean that there is nothing that you would consider to be private?

I don't think this is private. Indeed, I don't think very much in a relationship situation can be private. This is radically different to a mere friendship. Indeed, it is too important to keep private.

deirdre_dub wrote: »

Though you have a point, in a way. If I find myself telling myself "I must remember to never ever let this person learn about my medical past", then I need to ask myself why I am remaining in the relationship.

Indeed, although it seems that you don't give a fiddlestick is about the other person in the relationship which is a sad reflection.

Mr Benevolent

I need more testosterone. Much more. That said, every time I see the female form I get a testosterone surge.

Good luck OP, I'm sure you have your reasons for the change.

WindSock

Fair play to you Links for taking the plunge and edumacating us all in the process

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sFBOQzSk14c

Fluorescence

Jakkass wrote: »

As mentioned. It's a huge thing even in terms of life experience for someone to have lived as a male for so long. Secondly, it is a significant thing that there will be no possibility of starting a biological family.

In Links' case it doesn't matter as much though, since she is lesbian? Besides, lesbians will probably be more understanding of transgender people than straight men who are entirely new to the LGBT scene and aren't familiar with the idea at all.

Metallitroll

Links234 wrote: »

sorry, don't have any interest in men at all

wow, still can't believe there's not a gay bone in your body! that's great!! for a moment i was assuming oh she is likely so predictable as to have his foot in both camps; but that shoots that down, in fact you've gone one better in that you're so only attracted to women, you actually want to be one. thats alpha as fúck

WesternNight

Jakkass wrote: »

Indeed, although it seems that you don't give a fiddlestick is about the other person in the relationship which is a sad reflection.

Oh for goodness sake will you please just stop.

You have no idea what transgender people go through, and nor do the rest of us. But this thread is about someone who is completely and utterly delighted by something and it will have a massive positive effect on her and on people in her life. You are one of the very few (only?) people in this thread to have input without saying one positive/congratulatory/good-spirited thing (that I can see, maybe I've missed it) about the OP.

So, it seems that you don't give a fiddlestick about the OP or her news, which is a sad reflection.

4zn76tysfajdxp

WindSock wrote: »

Fair play to you Links for taking the plunge and edumacating us all in the process

For a second there, I thought you accused Links of emasculating us all in the process.

philologos

WesternNight wrote: »

So, it seems that you don't give a fiddlestick about the OP or her news, which is a sad reflection.

I'm not even making 1 reference to Links. Links has shown rationality in saying that in the transgendered community that most would inform before the first kiss.

It's more with the absurdity of deirdre's view that people should keep this private from future partners.

Would you like to read my posts in full and in context before replying?

Gummy Panda

Metallitroll wrote: »

wow, still can't believe there's not a gay bone in your body! that's great!! for a moment i was assuming oh she is likely so predictable as to have his foot in both camps; but that shoots that down, in fact you've gone one better in that you're so only attracted to women, you actually want to be one. thats alpha as fúck

I don't think she wants to be alpha

Links234

Metallitroll wrote: »

wow, still can't believe there's not a gay bone in your body! that's great!! for a moment i was assuming oh she is likely so predictable as to have his foot in both camps; but that shoots that down, in fact you've gone one better in that you're so only attracted to women, you actually want to be one. thats alpha as fúck

well, I am gay. that's what lesbian means, a gay woman.

and no, it's not "alpha" at all :pac:

Amara Tangy Kid wrote: »

For a second there, I thought you accused Links of emasculating us all in the process.

I laughed

WesternNight

Jakkass wrote: »

I'm not even making 1 reference to Links. Links has shown rationality in saying that in the transgendered community that most would inform before the first kiss.

It's more with the absurdity of deirdre's view that people should keep this private from future partners.

Would you like to read my posts in full and in context before replying?

That's exactly the point, you haven't made one reference to Links.

It's hardly absurd. At what point do you think people should be told?

deirdre_dub

Jakkass wrote: »

As mentioned. It's a huge thing even in terms of life experience for someone to have lived as a male for so long.

Of course it is. But it is also a very painful thing (for me). And, it isn't as big of a thing as, for instance, spending 10 years in jail, or spending 10 years in some of our religious or state institutions, would have been. Should all such people wear that experience on their shoulders?

Anyway, the fact that I spent so much time as a male means that I'm uniquely trained in what men want from their women!

Secondly, it is a significant thing that there will be no possibility of starting a biological family.

Indeed. As I said, I'm of that age where that question probably won't arise anyway. But, if it did, I'd certainly wouldn't have a problem saying that a medical condition has left me sterile.

foxinsox

Links,

I just read all this thread. It is great to read about somebody being happy and getting what they want out of life.

I'm happy for you and wish you all the best for your future and thanks for sharing your story.

philologos

WesternNight wrote: »

It's hardly absurd. At what point do you think people should be told?

Links234 wrote:

The general rule of thumb I've heard from a lot of trans people is "before the first kiss" which seems sensible

This sounds incredibly reasonable.

WesternNight

Jakkass wrote: »

This sounds incredibly reasonable.

Well as long as that's alright with you