How would you impress in this country...

fakearms123

Okay so about a week ago my job asked me to "entertain" a girl who had come over from Dubai to train in our office for 2 weeks before going off to our department over in Hong Kong. At the moment I live in Kerry so as you can imagine and from what I've read in other threads here is that the only thing you can do in the countryside is have sexual relations with barnyard animals, I took it as immediately obvious that she wouldn't be interested in that.

She was 20 years old and on placement from Vassar college New York where she attends, she came from a very wealthy family in Dubai which had important connections with the company I worked with so it was important that she had a good time. Ireland I've found out isn't that great of a place to show off/entertain someone who is foreign to the country.

Me and my friends brought her to this cool Spannish tapas bar which was converted into a bar from an old church, she really liked that, we had dinner there and a few drinks. Then we went to the cinema, unfortunately I messed up the times and we ended up going to see Paul, luckily she enjoyed it so I dropped her home and turns out she is a very cool girl. I can just imagine if it was other way around and she was showing me and my friends around dubai or new york.

So what would you do with and show a foreign person if you were asked to show them around your area for a day? How would you impress them and show off what Ireland has to offer?

blue5000

Take her horse racing.

AnonoBoy

Take her down to the old shifting post in the back field. No girl can resist the lure of the shifting post, especially in the company of someone as charming and sexy as.... *checks who OP is*...... eh.... never mind.

chin_grin

I wonder what <looks at location> Kerry\Dublin has to offer other than cinema and dinner outings. Hmm. That's a tough one.

But for now I'm going to give the standard AH response: Show her your lad and ask for a happy ending.

blockedPaT

Take her to the pub and get pissed

cml387

Dammit you just missed Smithfield Horse Fair.

RoyalMarine

set her up with an account on here.

Kasabian

She isn't real is she, go on admit it. You aren't allowed near real women.

Lafortezza

Blast her wi..... nvm.

fakearms123

Great feedback so far :rolleyes:

blockedPaT

fakearms123 wrote: »

Great feedback so far :rolleyes:

it is AH

AnonoBoy

fakearms123 wrote: »

Great feedback so far :rolleyes:

Thanks. Sometimes when one offers essentially brilliant feedback it's hard to know whether it's appreciated or not. I appreciate you taking the time to let us know how well we're doing. So, great feedback on our feedback there fakearms123.

chin_grin

fakearms123 wrote: »

Great feedback so far :rolleyes:

Impress her by doing quirky things with your fake arms. Girls love improv. Especially amputated improv. G'wan.

AnonoBoy

chin_grin wrote: »

Impress her by doing quirky things with your fake arms. Girls love improv. Especially amputated improv. G'wan.

Fake arms? Jesus! The OP is Jason Byrne!

Jesus Wept

Cinema seems an odd choice.

chin_grin

The-Rigger wrote: »

Cinema seems an odd choice.

So was milk.

fakearms123

blockedPaT wrote: »

it is AH

I'm joking, I expected this, I am fond of these little AHers, they make me chuckle

JimsAlterEgo

Get on the first plane to Paris, you aint going to impress her in this hole of a country

Kasabian

Take her round the ring, all 20 yo Americans love being taken round the ring.

fakearms123

Kasabian wrote: »

Take her round the ring.

which ring are we talking about WAH WAH!

Seaneh

well if she was an Emiratie she would probably have let you around her ring. They (Emiratie girls) have this weird logic where anal sex is ok but girls who have vaginal intercourse or perform oral before marriage are sluts and terrible muslims.


But no, taking it up the back passage is fiiiiiiine...


its like catholics in the 50's.

Jesus Wept

Either show her this on repeat or show it to her once and ask her where she wants to go.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5emdftOIoos

summerskin

Seaneh wrote: »

well if she was an Emiratie she would probably have let you around her ring. They (Emiratie girls) have this weird logic where anal sex is ok but girls who have vaginal intercourse or perform oral before marriage are sluts and terrible muslims.


But no, taking it up the back passage is fiiiiiiine...


its like catholics in the 50's.

/books holiday to Dubai.

IamtheWalrus

When she asks where the 'restrooms' are, tell her you go outside in the ditch. She will believe it.

Seaneh

summerskin wrote: »

/books holiday to Dubai.

rent an expensive suit, rent a nice car, basically pretend you are in any way wealthy, and You will be swimming is local girls, mid 20's failed eastern european models with coke habits who have become escorts and stupid western girls who work for financial services companies and airlines.

UglyBolloxFace

Seaneh wrote: »

rent an expensive suit, rent a nice car, basically pretend you are in any way wealthy, and You will be swimming is local girls, mid 20's failed eastern european models with coke habits who have become escorts and stupid western girls who work for financial services companies and airlines.

Out of interest, how do you know so much about this?

Seaneh

UglyBolloxFace wrote: »

Out of interest, how do you know so much about this?

Few Emiratie friends living here and the uk, and knew a few irish people who have lived or are living in Dubai and other Emirates.

fakearms123

Seaneh wrote: »

Few Emiratie friends living here and the uk, and knew a few irish people who have lived or are living in Dubai and other Emirates.

So you don't have the personal experience of all this Emirate anal thats going around? :cool:

sbsquarepants

All this arab girls love anal thing is news to me, and here's me wasting my time trying to convince the good little catholic girls that the good lord wouldn't have given them hole they weren't supposed to use!:mad:
I'll never get those years back!!

Seaneh

fakearms123 wrote: »

So you don't have the personal experience of all this Emirate anal thats going around? :cool:

I've been to Dubai and Abu Dhabi, I haven't partaken in the muslim girl bum loving as I am a Christian and I don't 'do' pre marital sex, but when devout muslim men are telling you this and it is echoed by their atheist countrymen and then agreed further by irish expats in that country, I'd tend to believe it's fairly common.


As for the girls in Dubai being insanely money obsessed and the place swimming in eastern european escorts, both are well documented.
I have seen both of those in full effect.


Dubai is a weird place.
Its not like the real world. Its like its own little bubble.
I was in a bar operated by the aviation club with a few friends and a local lad walks up to my friend and handed her a blackberry worth about 400 euros and said 'take this, ill call you tomorrow'
And tried to walk away, she handed it back and said she wasn't interested.
so he takes out a key ring with 4 car keys and says 'here, pick one, its for you,d a gift'. She says she's not interested. he starts getting aggressive, saying 'all you whores are the same, you all have a price, just name it'. This guy managed to find out her name, where she worked and where she lived and Pester her for weeks until she eventually called the police.


She has had a more stuff like that happen too.

The police told her it 'was normal, most girls here just want money and gifts'.

Alter-Ego

18 pack of Pleasuremax
Tube of KY Jelly
and a case of Wally's Hut(or any other fine wine of your choice).

If she likes extreme sports, show her a Saturday night in Killarney.

Red Hand

fakearms123 wrote: »

Okay so about a week ago my job asked me to "entertain" a girl who had come over from Dubai to train in our office for 2 weeks before going off to our department over in Hong Kong. At the moment I live in Kerry so as you can imagine and from what I've read in other threads here is that the only thing you can do in the countryside is have sexual relations with barnyard animals, I took it as immediately obvious that she wouldn't be interested in that.

She was 20 years old and on placement from Vassar college New York where she attends, she came from a very wealthy family in Dubai which had important connections with the company I worked with so it was important that she had a good time. Ireland I've found out isn't that great of a place to show off/entertain someone who is foreign to the country.

Me and my friends brought her to this cool Spannish tapas bar which was converted into a bar from an old church, she really liked that, we had dinner there and a few drinks. Then we went to the cinema, unfortunately I messed up the times and we ended up going to see Paul, luckily she enjoyed it so I dropped her home and turns out she is a very cool girl. I can just imagine if it was other way around and she was showing me and my friends around dubai or new york.

So what would you do with and show a foreign person if you were asked to show them around your area for a day? How would you impress them and show off what Ireland has to offer?

Kerry/West Cork
Ring of Kerry
Carrauntwohill...or one of the many of the hills in Kerry/Cork
Skellig Islands
Dingle Penninsuila
Iveragh Penninsuila
Beara Penninsuila
Goat's Head Penninsuila
Barley Cove
Castles and ruins are everywhere

Dublin area (I stress area)
St Michelin's Church (Crypt)
Dalkey
Glen Da Lough
Wicklow Mts
Powerscourt

Add in more if ye think of them

You refer in your post above to "barnyard animals". Barn? WTF? Go home, Yank!:pac:

Seriously, bringing her to a cinema and a tapas bar...you could do that anywhere in Europe/North America.