access

LegacyUser

Hi

I have an 11 year old son with an ex partner of many years. He pays 50 euro a week and has him very regularly. I am working in shift work which involves 9 overnights a month. He has him every 2nd weekend and sometimes one or two overnights a week. Every couple of months he is very rude and controlling. Can I bring him to court and get an access agreement to get him to take him for the days I am working? I am sick of him threathening to set days and refusing to communicate with me. Can i get a shared care agreement or something? What can I do here? its the threat of him refusing all together etc and all these silly games has my head wrecked!

Thanks

Morag

Yes you can get an access/visitation agreement lodged with the court to be certain set days, he may still how very try and mess you around even with it in place.

Klingon Hamlet

What a jerk. I'd love to have my child more often. Whereas your child's dad is being difficult about whether he wants to take him or not? He needs a wake-up cal

Regarding access, the courts can grant access, but he can simply refuse to take his child if and when he pleases (although that makes him an idiot in my book!).

Best of luck!

bulmersgal

pretty much what the other posters have said. My ex has a lovely habit of always getting sick on fridays even though he brought me to court for the access. I have heard though with a court order if he doesn't show up you can get it stamped off the guards and if he does this often enough you can bring him back to court and get access restricted.

LegacyUser

op here

Thanks for your advice.
I find this situation so frustrating. He can just refuse to take him and did threathen this years ago. I dont want the child to miss out because he has some resentment against me. I dont care about the money aspect because as long as he takes him , I can work and pay the morgage etc. He never asked for statatory guardianship even though I said I had no problem signing it and I believe that access and maintenance are seperate. I am resonable and fair about this situation but he so inflexible. He lives with his girlfriend and I sense she may have a hand in it all. I feel quite powerless. I sometimes be wishing away the next 5 years so I dont need anything off him! Is there any advice from men who could help me see it from his point of view?

LegacyUser

Hi OP, sorry to hear you're having this trouble, I'm in a similar situation. I only have a verbal agreement with my ex in place, and didn't bother trying to formalize it based on the fact that he can just pull out of taking the children whenever he feels like it. It's very unfair. But it bothers me more when the children get worked up about going off to see their Dad, then I'm the one that has to explain why they're not going. It's tough, because I feel like I'm letting them down because I've to give them the bad news.

Do you have any family that can help you out? Whenever my ex lets us down, normally one of the family members has them over, to cheer them up and give me a bit of a break.