What's you're favourite Revenge Fantasy?

stevejr

Mine is beating the **** out of an ex-boss of mine but in really imaginative ways! And Slowly....

This guy deserved it because he was a passive aggressive sly cunt who was nice my face but badmouthed me behind my back. I only found out after being transferred.

Ardennes1944

sex with their mam/sister/best friend

Riamfada

murder

Einhard

Deutschlandfürimmer7 wrote: »

sex with their mam/sister/best friend

What if their best friend was male? Wouldn't that just increase your resentment even more??:D

orourkeda

I'd stick a banger up their pipe.

Dudess

I'd blast them with piss through a vuvuzela.

Gummy Panda

Fitting punishment - meet me for a one on one training session, and this is for real. I'd start by breaking an elbow, then a slow knee bar to shatter first one, then the other knee. I might consider smashing the other elbow then, noth sure what method I'd use, but I have a few in my arsenal.


Then I'd break for lunch, but leave my son to practice his Judo too - a few collar chokes maybe.


Next day I'd consider smashing the fvckers spine, just the lower part. I would't want to risk killing him at this early stage.


Then I'd get my mate Tony (he's gay and a sadistic bastard) to armed himself with his biggest and nastiest double-end and ruin the guys intestines.


Third day, I'd strangle him with my bare hands and while watching his life ebb I'd invite him to pray with me for Gods forgiveness, but kill him before prayers end.


In a final fitting tribute I'd post a photo of him and I in the Nerds pix thread on this forum and you'll all applaud me fine work.


Amen.

orourkeda

Dudess wrote: »

I'd blast them with piss through a vuvuzela.

giggidy

Khyra24

Cutting off his nuts and feeding it to him

orourkeda

Gummy Panda wrote: »

Fitting punishment - meet me for a one on one training session, and this is for real. I'd start by breaking an elbow, then a slow knee bar to shatter first one, then the other knee. I might consider smashing the other elbow then, noth sure what method I'd use, but I have a few in my arsenal.


Then I'd break for lunch, but leave my son to practice his Judo too - a few collar chokes maybe.


Next day I'd consider smashing the fvckers spine, just the lower part. I would't want to risk killing him at this early stage.


Then I'd get my mate Tony (he's gay and a sadistic bastard) to armed himself with his biggest and nastiest double-end and ruin the guys intestines.


Third day, I'd strangle him with my bare hands and while watching his life ebb I'd invite him to pray with me for Gods forgiveness, but kill him before prayers end.


In a final fitting tribute I'd post a photo of him and I in the Nerds pix thread on this forum and you'll all applaud me fine work.


Amen.

The ideal response

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=anEuw8F8cpE

humberklog

Love Bomb the sh!t out of the basterds.

Ardennes1944

Einhard wrote: »

What if their best friend was male? Wouldn't that just increase your resentment even more??:D

na, one of them is bound to be female, or theres something terribly wrong going on there:D

whiteboy

smoking all their weed

starbelgrade

My perfect revenge would be to break into my worst enemy's house, empty out his Heinz ketchup bottle & replace it with Chef ketchup.

Nothing could be worse than that.

stevejr

Dudess wrote: »

I'd blast them with piss through a vuvuzela.

The practicalities of doing that (ie tasting piss) would preclude that particular fantasy, but each to her own...

Jesus Wept

pillow gift

stevejr

Gummy Panda wrote: »

Fitting punishment - meet me for a one on one training session, and this is for real. I'd start by breaking an elbow, then a slow knee bar to shatter first one, then the other knee. I might consider smashing the other elbow then, noth sure what method I'd use, but I have a few in my arsenal.


Then I'd break for lunch, but leave my son to practice his Judo too - a few collar chokes maybe.


Next day I'd consider smashing the fvckers spine, just the lower part. I would't want to risk killing him at this early stage.


Then I'd get my mate Tony (he's gay and a sadistic bastard) to armed himself with his biggest and nastiest double-end and ruin the guys intestines.


Third day, I'd strangle him with my bare hands and while watching his life ebb I'd invite him to pray with me for Gods forgiveness, but kill him before prayers end.


In a final fitting tribute I'd post a photo of him and I in the Nerds pix thread on this forum and you'll all applaud me fine work.


Amen.

Pulp fiction is a film not an instructional guide...

Metallitroll

seemingly liam gallagher's latest:

"just call me the roller
i'll squeeze and unfold ya
call me the roller
i just go to show ya
just call me the roller
i'll come blow you over"

poorest lyricist in music? proper rock n rolla that boy

stevejr

The-Rigger wrote: »

pillow gift

Is that an After-Eight or something?

RichieC

There's this libertardian yank on another site I post to. Well, what I imagine is getting enough money to buy my way into his company then sacking him and ruining his stupid little life.

Then, sitting back and watching how long he'd be a libertarian for once the arse fell out of the job daddy got him.

Where To

kill all the men on the planet, then repopulate it myself:P

starviewadams

I'd slowly drown this girl I likes bf,not very creative but it would give me great satisfaction seeing the life drain out of his smarmy little face.

EverEvolving

Revenge is meant to be a dish best served cold.

So I would lock them in a freezer.

Then cook 'em up and serve to their family in a chili eating contest.

FTGFOP

stevejr wrote: »

Dudess wrote: »

I'd blast them with piss through a vuvuzela.

The practicalities of doing that (ie tasting piss) would preclude that particular fantasy, but each to her own...

I took Dudess' suggestion to be that of a rudimentary piss cannon, with no mouth involvement.


Rudimentary piss cannon ftw. Blast them with it.

Sticky_Fingers

FTGFOP wrote: »

I took Dudess' suggestion to be that of a rudimentary piss cannon, with no mouth involvement.


Rudimentary piss cannon ftw. Blast them with it.

I don't know about that, she'd have to work up quite a flow to completely fill up the wider end of the horn in order for the Bernoulli equation to hold. I'm not doubting Dudess's piss blasting abilities but that's still a tall order for anyone.

Dublin_Gunner

My noisy next door neighbour revenge.

Step 1. Somehow acquire some sh1t music. Lets say, *Rick Astley.

Step 2. Load into CD player.

Step 3. Put speakers against the adjoining wall.

Step 4. Put one of Ricks 'hits' on 'repeat'.

Step 5. Turn it up LOUD.

Step 6. Go to work. Or away for the weekend.

*Not to offend Rick fans, this could be any really annoying song. Like 'Boys Boys Boys' by Sabrina, Barbie Girl, Achy Breaky Heart, Mambo No. 5, anything by Celine Dion.

Anyway, you get the idea.

FTGFOP

Sticky_Fingers wrote: »

I don't know about that, she'd have to work up quite a flow to completely fill up the wider end of the horn in order for the Bernoulli equation to hold. I'm not doubting Dudess's piss blasting abilities but that's still a tall order for anyone.

Bernoulli equation, eh? Hmm.

I guess we'd need a small vuvuzela of very small internal volume tapering to a very narrow bore... and sixteen pint bottles of Bulmers.

EverEvolving

Dublin_Gunner wrote: »

My noisy next door neighbour revenge.

Step 1. Somehow acquire some sh1t music. Lets say, *Simply Red.

*Guaranteed to not only evacuate a building but quite possibly evacuate life.

_Whimsical_

Mine involves a rusty spoon...
Oh the damage I would do.

Ghost Buster

Resurrect Fr Brendan Smith. Bring him back in a time machine to when he was 7 but still fully aware of his adult years and have Richard Dawkins ride him...... I may need to think this one out a wee bit more though

ToniTuddle

Always wanted to do that 3 point thing.


Knee them in the balls hard-they bend over in pain
Knee them in the stomach hard-they go to ground
Bring full force of elbow down on their face breaking their nose and maybe messing up teeth

stevejr

Violent but effective.....but you probably wouldn't get away with it...

ToniTuddle

stevejr wrote: »

Violent but effective.....but you probably wouldn't get away with it...

It was self defense maaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!

He was gonna steal the last rice crispie bun :eek: