I think my 2.5 year old may have ADHD :(

trevorku

Hi my son is 2 years 6 months old. He is a really delightful kid when he is well behaved. He is quite smart for his age, he started talking and walking normally when he was 1 year old. I really love him to bits and thats why I want to get some help on his behaviour.

His tantrums are out of this world,,, uncontrollable, so much so the neighbours have even knocked in complaining before. Everything is a constant battle, especially bedtime, he screams the house down and only eventually goes asleep from exhaustion from the tantrum.



He has very bold behaviour, smacking, kicking, pulling our hair, wrecking the house, he gets objects and bangs then against the tv screen, he climbs up on everything and has broken alot of our stuff,,, I know your probably thinking thats the 'terrible twos' but it seems more than that.

He never listens to us, anytime we give out to him for misbehaving he always turns away and ignores us and wont look us in the eye. Even today for example, its only 11am and he has been up the walls in mood swings, screaming the place down.

I'd go as far as to say he even controls us, basically if he doesnt get his way ITS WAR and he is not going down without a fight. Its either his way or no way at all. We eventually just give in for some peace and quite.
We have tried the naughty step,,,, didnt work as the second we put him down on the step or naughty spot he would run away immediately, he would laugh thinking its some joke that we keep putting him back in the place when he is bold.

I'm ashamed to say we have even tried smacking him, but he just smacks us back all the time himself. I know this wasnt the answer but it wasnt doing any good so we stopped.

He is extremely agressive and controlling and he always has to get his way. Its making our life a living nightmare, we are exhausted and tired with him, every day is a battle. A good day for us is when he is in a good mood and not giving us a hard time, I'd say we dont have a good quality of life.

He also doesnt eat food alot, just snacks on things, he wont have dinners with us, he just picks at stuff. He had colic when he was born for 3 months, then he was teething up until few months ago so we put his bad behaviour down to his age and we were foolishly hoping he would grow out of it but I dont know if he will.

He is a really good kid and its not his fault he is like this, I wonder if we did something wrong somewhere along the line? We try our best to keep him occupied during the day, you see when he was in a creche he would be nackered again he got home, and he would go asleep after the creche coz he had burned off so much energy so I dont know if maybe he is just one of those kids that needs to be extremely active and worn out but from what I hear from other parents their kids dont act like this even if they have not been our running around in the playground or whatever.
Please tell me if someone else has had experience with any of the behaviours? Something is just telling me he may have a hyperactivity disorder, please help guys !!

- T

goosie2005

your little one is still very young. Contact your public health nurse, who can meet with you and can outrule hearing or communication difficulties etc or other reasons why your little one might be acting as they are, and can refer you to a child and adolescent mental health team for support if needed. best of luck

mikemac

He snacks a lot, how is his diet? I hope it's not sugary food and soft drinks, guaranteed to get a child hyperactive.
If I ever become a parent, coke, fanta and the rest will be banned from the house, sugary poison imo

The creche are keeping him busy and wearing him out. Now you say you try to keep him occupied but it's not working. So ask the creche what they do, maybe it's playing with a ball or something very active

No problem asking for help so you should contact the public health nurse.

gems1183

Hi OP, i also have a son who is 2 years and 5 months and his tantrums are something else also. He kicks , throws things (usually the most breakable object he can find!) but the worst is he headbutts, not just me but anything within reach including the walls and the floor. i'm sure people think we beat him around the head as he always has a big bruise somewhere! Is he in full daycare? I found that since i've been off on maternity leave the tantrums are coming less often and with less force as before. does he have a nap during the day?i find that its harder to get my lad to sleep at night if he doesnt have a rest during the day,even just a quiet 10 mins where we read a book.

Kimia

Sounds like he just needs a more rigid routine and discipline I'm sorry to say. I would go down that route first before assuming he has ADHD which is woefully over diagnosed as I'm sure you know.

I feel for you, you sound exhausted and I'm sure you're doing your best. You just have to be consistent, and if you're using the naughty step you have to keep putting him back until he tires out, not until you tire out.

Feeling stressed is dead right with sugary foods - the worst possible thing and I suspect if he's not eating dinners he might be snacking on these types of things? Diet is so important so you have to be really, really strict here. No more giving him snacks, he eats dinner with you or not at all. It's going to be tough but it's so important to get him eating veg and protein, which will stabalise his blood sugar and won't give him those insane bursts of energy.

If he has a tantrum, you'll have to learn to completely ignore him. Completely. If he screams the place down just leave him to it. It's going to be difficult but he needs to learn discipline from you and if you just give up (which I know you do purely because of exhaustion) this will continue, and god knows what he'll be like as a teenager. Don't give up.

January

Going to have to agree with everyone else here and say, while ADHD shouldn't be overlooked, your child sounds like any normal 2.5 year old.

My own tests my patience on a daily basis, throws some of the worlds worst tantrums, doesn't like eating a full meal, doesn't like going to bed, hits etc...

The naughty step has to be like a previous poster said, until he tires out, not until you tire out or get emotional. Just keep putting him back there, even if it takes hours (I know you haven't got hours but if you want to take control then you need to do it), and do not talk to him while putting him back and the 2 minutes start all over again if he gets up before his time. (Obviously you explain why he's going onto the step first and then ignore if he keeps getting up). He'll get it eventually.

Tantrums need to be ignored, step over them, around them, etc, always make sure they don't harm themselves and if they hit their head off a wall or anything, just quietly move them away and let them continue the tantrum.

On the meal front, as long as the snacks are healthy then the child should be fine just snacking, some kids are just grazers and don't like eating full meals.

I know it's hard, believe me, my own two year old still doesn't sleep through, but you have to be firm to set down rules. If you're still worried about ADHD in a few months time, then ask for an assessment.

LegacyUser

Hi OP,

Have you checked out Harvey Karp's "Happiest Toddler on the Block" book/DVD?

His work with child behaviour is really interesting and certainly had a huge impact on us. He has a website.

Good luck!

cynder

I'm going to disagree with everyone here because 2 years ago that was me only my fella had the added stress of no speech. ADHD was question marked and now he has turned 4 they have referred him to Camhs to be assessed for ADHD he also is to be assessed for an asd starting on the 23rd. This was supposed to be done earlier but the early intervention services forgot about him. He was referred to the by the public health nurse when he was 2. At this point we questioned both asd and ADHD rarely with they diagnose a child under 4 with ADHD, food doesn't cause ADHD and coke has no affect on any of my 3 kids. ADHD can run in families.

If your concerned don't rule it out and don't listen to anyone saying it's normal behavior. Ask your public health nurse to refer you to the early intervention services under the assessment of need 2005 and he will be seen with 6 months. The early intervention services will only keep him if he has issues in 2 or more disciplines.

Sorry if spelling is bad on the iPod touch.

Best of luck

cynder

Just to add I was told not to use the naughty step as it didn't work with him made matters worse, also not to use reward charts, ever child is different. You have to find what works for your son, there are a few pages on facebook which you might find helpful.

You should see my tv it's 48" and scratched to bits, my fella has always been violent and crawled on his hands and knees at 6 months, he has always hated confined spaces like a walker pr bouncer. He also has sensory issues has no fear and gets himself into dangerous situations. He has a personal preschool assistant and starts school in September we are trying to get him an sna for school. On the tantrum area try to ignore them my lad could go on for 2 hours intervene if he is going to cause himself or anyone injury. Also is it a tantrum or is it a meltdown there is a difference. My fella has a few meltdowns and needs sensory stimulation to calm him.

I find computer games calm my fella maybe introduce a dsi, Or put him on the computer playhouseDisney or cartoon network sites.

I pods playing up I will write more tomorrow.

Jasssss

Trevorku,I have just seen your post.I would never be in a rush to jump to conclusions when my children where over active as this is all part of growing up.However there is times in a parents life when a red light comes on and you just know that something is not right.You spend months putting it down to your own skills as a parent, you question everything including could i be spoiling my child have i not disciplined them enough and so fort.You are the parent at the end of the day and if you think that your little one is doing things that you just feel are not right go and get it checked.The professionals will not diagnose anything until the child is at a certain age.He might grow out of it with a bit of luck but if for example this was happening at six I would definetly get it checked for your sake and the childs.

January

Thread is nearly a year old, closed.