Asked to be Godfather

melon_collie

I am looking for some advice. 6 months ago my wife was diagnosed with cancer and now the chances of us being able to have a family is very very small. As a result of this my wife is very sensitive about 'baby' issues at the moment (understandably so). However, today my best friend asked me to be godfather his new child. I was so happy to even be considered and said yes straight away. However, now I am feeling a bit guilty and upset that maybe I should have asked her how she would feel about it first given how sensitive she is at the moment. Am I being stupid and should she just be happy for me or am I a complete eejit for not talking to her about it first?

ElleEm

Fair play to you for considering how she will feel. Maybe chat with her about being asked, and see what she says. If is too upset by the idea, your friend should absolutely understand why you may have to turn down the special offer.

MissFlitworth

You're not an eejit OP, that's a lovely thing to be asked and most people would jump at it. I do think that you run the risk of this really upsetting your wife though. It might not be rational of her but it sounds like she's still sick and has had her chance to be a mother stolen from her, hearing you called someones 'godfather' might be really horrible for her. If you're worried about telling her about this then I think you know yourself that it's something that will upset her

melon_collie

I suppose that I said yes straight away because I didn't want to make little of the offer. I am genuinely deligthed at being asked. I am already a godfather already to my neice and she is a godmother too. I know that being godfather to another child isn't really going to make much of a difference. Or will it? I suppose as you say things are still fresh in her mind at the moment. The last thing I want to do is to upset her after everything she has been through. Thanks for the replies

ElleEm

I really admire you for being so considerate of her feelings.

CathyMoran

melon_collie wrote: »

I am looking for some advice. 6 months ago my wife was diagnosed with cancer and now the chances of us being able to have a family is very very small. As a result of this my wife is very sensitive about 'baby' issues at the moment (understandably so). However, today my best friend asked me to be godfather his new child. I was so happy to even be considered and said yes straight away. However, now I am feeling a bit guilty and upset that maybe I should have asked her how she would feel about it first given how sensitive she is at the moment. Am I being stupid and should she just be happy for me or am I a complete eejit for not talking to her about it first?

I am a 4 year oesophageal cancer survivor (diagnosed when I was 32) and I know how tough it is. I would be delighted if people I cared about got pregnant but it would be difficult - I did spend a lot of time with children though and I still loved it, is hard to explain...

You are being a caring husband but I would have a word with your wife about it and ask if it is OK toi be godfather.

We managed to have a son who is 11.5 months old after much heartbreak and I am expecting again. Best wishes to you and your wife.