Communion partys??

maameeo

ok, im not religious, i dont go to church and i dont agree with the catholic church in many areas.
My daughter goes to a catholic school (as there was no others near but thats another rant) so shes making her communion in may.

She keeps asking me about her cake and party etc?!

What on earth?? when i made my communion i went around to family, had a meal then home! suddenly its turned into a big celebration like a birthday party!

i dont know what to do, am i supposed to throw a party for her? obviously i know i dont have to do anything but everything aside, its a big day in her eyes and i dont want to ruin it for her.

advice anyone? or stories of what you did for communion day?

Thanks!

Morag

Nothing, as they may have been in a catholic school but they didn't under go catholic sacrements. For both of them after they watched thier class under go the sacrement we went off for the day and went out to dinner.

It was a little tricker with my daughter until I figured out it was all about the dress and we offered her one made for her but in pink and that was that.

Fittle

My son made his communion last year and we had a great day. I am amazed that you wouldn't have heard about communion parties so far, when they seem to be everywhere for the past few years - I had been hearing about them since my lad went into junior infants:eek:

I was deligthed when I heard the tradition of visiting family/friends had gone because I didn't think that would be a great day for himself at all...I have vague memories of cups of tea in so many houses on my own communion and the boredom...:mad:

Anyway, I kept it cheap and cheerful...got a bouncy castle for the back garden and made salads and a curry...invited family/friends and just had a fab day...I got a cake with his photo on it which was gorgeous...he still talks about his communion and how much he enjoyed it, as it was the first time we'd had a bouncy castle...

His suit is still hanging in the wardrobe upstairs having been worn for 2hours...I so want to give it to a child who needs it this year but I'm reluctant to give it to a charity shop...

It is a big day - the school really builds it up for them and my lad was very excited by it all...enjoy it, whatever you do:)

Oral Slang

I've had a niece & a nephew make their communions and confirmations over the last few years. Their parents just bring the child, godparents and grandparents out to dinner for the communion & for the confirmation all of the aunts & uncles & grandparents go out for dinner (we paid for ourselves btw, because they wouldn't have the money to pay for all of us).

You make of it what you want. I think the hype is ridiculous. I don't plan on christening kids when I have them unless I have to and plan to do as Sharrow did by buying clothes that the child picks & possibly giving them a present to take away the sting of not making loads of money. Thankfully a lot of my friends in recent years have not christened their kids, so I'm hoping that in a few years, there'll be far less catholic children in the schools, hence the pressure of making communion, confirmation will be less. Either that or the government get rid of the catholic influence on the schools & all of the ceremonies are practised separate to school.

A woman I work with brought her whole extended family of 20 odd out to a hotel for her daughters communion 2 years ago, hired a mini-bus and all. Cost €2k or something ludicrous like that!

smelltheglove

I alsohave acommunion this year.

As a photographer I have been booked to cover many celebrations, communions being one, actually aside from weddings my next popular work is christenings:eek: I covered one a few weeks ago that had a sit down meal for 80 people.

I have covered communions, from sit down meals in fancy hotels to pub parties with carvey lunches paid for all guests.

So what am I doing, heck no am I having a sit down meal for family and friends, I have a HUGE family! My little girls dress is being made from my wedding dress, actually going for a fitting this afternoon and looking forward to it. It is her birthday 2 days after her communion so we would have been having a party anyway that weekend so we have rented a function room in a local club for €50 and my husband will be setting up his music equipment and doing a disco, something we usually do for birthday parties in our house anyway. Whoever wants to come can come, I want my little girl to have fun on her big day, her daddy is sorting out some food being a chef and we will prob order in some pizzas or something for the kids, again we do this for birthday parties anyway.

I was brought around family visiting and honestly I remember just wanting to go home and feeling sick of getting in and out of the car. I think for her day it should be something she would enjoy so a nice party with her friends and family seems right for her she wont have to worry about ettiquette sitting in a fancy hotel and I wont have to worry about a huge bill for all the guests. Just something simple and fun for the kids.

maameeo

wow, no i really i just started hearing about it recently, stories of limos and false tan and parties for communions!
i must have been out of the loop in college then working fulltime, guess if id been around other parents id have heard about this stuff! eek!

I didnt do anything apart from the church for her christening.

Fittle, your day sounded lovely, i must look into bouncy castles and see if one would fit in my garden!

wait, so people dont do the visiting family part anymore??

I agree with the pressure of religion in school, its not fair. id rather she didnt go through this but of course shed kick up a fuss at being left out, its nothing to do with religion to them, its a outfit and the money!

Fittle

maameeo wrote: »

wow, no i really i just started hearing about it recently, stories of limos and false tan and parties for communions!

Fittle, your day sounded lovely, i must look into bouncy castles and see if one would fit in my garden!
)

I'm not sure whether the limos and fake tans are a bit of an urban myth to be honest - I went to a few communions last year (was at the church for 3 of them) and didn't see one child with false tan, nor one limo...perhaps they just happen in certain parts of dublin:D

Our day was honestly great fun. The main thing was that he enjoyed it himself. I wasn't under any pressure from anyone to have a party and didn't want to do the family visiting stuff. I mentioned to those that I'd invited not to put money in a card for him (although some did) because he had been taught in school that it wasn't about the money.

I am catholic myself but like most of us, it's been years since I'd been to mass. However, I sent him to a catholic school knowing that he would make communion and confirmation. There were some boys in his class who didn't. The school really taught them alot about spirituality and christianity in the lead up to it though - it was all about being good and kind and caring to each other, rather than 'catholicism' so to speak. They also involved us parents in alot of the preparation and I thought it was done really, really well, despite my own reservations about the catholic church and I can honestly say I am really glad for him that he had such a special day.

maameeo

Fittle wrote: »

I'm not sure whether the limos and fake tans are a bit of an urban myth to be honest - I went to a few communions last year (was at the church for 3 of them) and didn't see one child with false tan, nor one limo...perhaps they just happen in certain parts of dublin:D

Our day was honestly great fun. The main thing was that he enjoyed it himself. I wasn't under any pressure from anyone to have a party and didn't want to do the family visiting stuff. I mentioned to those that I'd invited not to put money in a card for him (although some did) because he had been taught in school that it wasn't about the money.

I am catholic myself but like most of us, it's been years since I'd been to mass. However, I sent him to a catholic school knowing that he would make communion and confirmation. There were some boys in his class who didn't. The school really taught them alot about spirituality and christianity in the lead up to it though - it was all about being good and kind and caring to each other, rather than 'catholicism' so to speak. They also involved us parents in alot of the preparation and I thought it was done really, really well, despite my own reservations about the catholic church and I can honestly say I am really glad for him that he had such a special day.

thats just lovely, you summed it up nicely.

honestly the one thing i like about the church is the learning of right from wrong. If she gets that from it then ill be happy

Thanks for the advice!

gbee

maameeo wrote: »

suddenly its turned into a big celebration like a birthday party!

More like a wedding. You must arrive in a limo now too or a golden carriage or a stretched Humvee.

You must set up a marquee and have waiters circulate the food and drinks with balloons, entertainers and so on and on and on.

Some estates will set up a marquee on the green so families can share the expenses. As with a wedding, friends and relatives are expected to arrive at suitable social hours loaded down with gifts and cash.

If you're looking for photographs, I know someone reasonable.

Kildrought

...learning of right from wrong...

Do children not learn that from their parents?

gbee

maameeo wrote: »

wow, no i really i just started hearing about it recently, stories of limos and false tan and parties for communions!

Oh yes, it's pretty big business. Now some schools ban the fake tan and the limos can't get in or out of a lot of church car parks.

This sort of behaviour used to be the preserve of the Debs/Grands but it filtered down to the Confirmation and was more or less stamped out and most children wear the clown.

It's been an increasing part of the Communion scene for a few years, more especially after they raised the age ~ IMO a mistake but that's another story ~ however, the children are older now and have entered a different stage of development than when they were six.

maameeo

Kildrought wrote: »

Do children not learn that from their parents?

i never said they didnt

Fittle

gbee wrote: »

More like a wedding. You must arrive in a limo now too or a golden carriage or a stretched Humvee.

You must set up a marquee and have waiters circulate the food and drinks with balloons, entertainers and so on and on and on.

Some estates will set up a marquee on the green so families can share the expenses. As with a wedding, friends and relatives are expected to arrive at suitable social hours loaded down with gifts and cash.

If you're looking for photographs, I know someone reasonable.

I'm not sure what communions you've been going to but I've seen NOTHING like anything you describe here in the past few years and I've attended close to ten communion 'parties'...

You 'must' do nothing. You can actually chose to keep it to family and friends to your house and do nothing more than hire a bouncy castle.

You make it sound like that gypsy wedding tv programme:)

gbee

Fittle wrote: »

I'm not sure what communions you've been going to but I've seen )

I'm a social photographer, so I get to a lot communions and confirmations and get paid to attend the parties sometimes.

maameeo

gbee wrote: »

I'm a social photographer, so I get to a lot communions and confirmations and get paid to attend the parties sometimes.

wow, i find it amazing paying a photographer for a communion!
great for you i imagine

i presume these communions are in cork? is it all over cork that theyre this eh extravagant?

gbee

maameeo wrote: »

i presume these communions are in cork? is it all over cork that theyre this eh extravagant?

I don't get outside the city much, so probably not country wide.

smelltheglove

Fittle wrote: »

I'm not sure whether the limos and fake tans are a bit of an urban myth to be honest - I went to a few communions last year (was at the church for 3 of them) and didn't see one child with false tan, nor one limo...perhaps they just happen in certain parts of dublin:D

Ive seen it and it was mentioned at a meeting at my little ones school already. I also knowof someone who got a hummer for the big day too! The sons suit was a Louis Copeland for over 900:eek:

maameeo wrote: »

wow, i find it amazing paying a photographer for a communion!
great for you i imagine

i presume these communions are in cork? is it all over cork that theyre this eh extravagant?

Im in Dublin and I have to say I turned down a fair few last year forwarding them on to other boardsies. I also turned down a few this year as I didnt take any bookings, not even weddings, until I had the date for my own little girls communion.

Photography for social occasions is a big thing right now, my most recent christening was just Sunday gone and the one previous around 3 weeks before that. Not only communions and christenings, I had a confirmation recently and often cover 40th birthdays and so on, mind its not as expensive as one might think.

So heres a story for you, one very much like the tv, I used to have a small studio in town and one day in walked a family, the 12yr old made her confirmation and to call the ballgown length skirt hipster is giving it a bit of credit, it was barely covering the privates, bright blue, matching top was like a butterfly shape at front but strings around the back. There was a younger sister not much past 6 or 7 with similar but in a halter neck dress, pink then the 2 year old had a similar dress again, but hers had sleeves and a back, that was iirc orange. All dresses had the same full skirt, I was astounded, honestly. The eldest girls outfit was nothing like the younger girls, then she was aroun d16, but her skirt was so high it was more like a belt. That day I thought I saw it all!

maameeo

smelltheglove wrote: »

So heres a story for you, one very much like the tv, I used to have a small studio in town and one day in walked a family, the 12yr old made her confirmation and to call the ballgown length skirt hipster is giving it a bit of credit, it was barely covering the privates, bright blue, matching top was like a butterfly shape at front but strings around the back. There was a younger sister not much past 6 or 7 with similar but in a halter neck dress, pink then the 2 year old had a similar dress again, but hers had sleeves and a back, that was iirc orange. All dresses had the same full skirt, I was astounded, honestly. The eldest girls outfit was nothing like the younger girls, then she was aroun d16, but her skirt was so high it was more like a belt. That day I thought I saw it all!

wow, how did you keep your face straight?! my jaw would drop!

interesting photos i imagine

parsi

My lads have had family (extended) meals at home after their Communions/Confirmation and we usually take the pics ourselves.

This year for one communion we had a photographer back to the house as we wanted to finally get a family portrait and one with their granda.

KittyeeTrix

This is my 4th and last communion this year. We've always had the family and friends call to the house for a bit of food and cake.
We'd have a few bottles of beer and a few bottles of wine in for those that would like a drink.
All the kids would be happy outside on a bouncy castle or in the sitting room on an X-box......surrounded by soft drinks and sweets:)

This year we are however going to go visiting my mom's house and all my family will meet there instead. We will have the communion cake for him there and take ohoto's and the like....
We are then gonna take the 2 youngest to the Atlantiquaria for the afternoon followed by something to eat in Eddie Rockets and on the way back home we will stop in at his friends house up the road (also making his communion) as we will socialise with his parents for an hour or two. Then go home and order in a kiddies box office movie...

smelltheglove

maameeo wrote: »

wow, how did you keep your face straight?! my jaw would drop!

interesting photos i imagine

I think I was pretty much in shock. Id show the pics if I could but obviously it wouldnt be good business sense plus I dont have permission to do so. I temporarily ran a little studio in an indoor market so there were plenty of passer bys gawping and staring at the time, it was a memorable shoot.

gra26

This is the first time I have ever heard anything about a communion cake!! I'm a bit gobsmacked at that. My son will be sorely disappointed in may so.
His grandparents and great grandparents will attend his communion and then I'll bring them out for carvery or something. It's not possible to have them back to my house at the moment. Thinking about bring him bowling in the evening then, just us, not everyone though.