HOW TO GET A GIRLFRIEND

TheUsual

Buy a guitar and join a band.

Get a weird haircut.

Bob's yer Uncle.

omen80

Tell her you have no willy...............it's definately an original idea??

Oh_Noes

omen80 wrote: »

Tell her you have no willy...............it's definately an original idea??

You could then do a big reveal, like "ta-da!" and whip it out. Maybe on her birthday, she'd love it so much.

Grindylow

Report back and tell me how you get on Niall!

We're practically best friends now afterall!

ohthebaby

There's so many odd discussions in here these days.

Tbh IO's bean joke came into my head when I saw this thread. I say go for it. If she doesn't like it well then she's not worth having in the first place.

Jackobyte

Noel2k9 wrote: »

Tell her a funny joke..

eg:
Q. Why did the tomato blush?

A. Because he saw the salad dressing

ohthebaby wrote: »

There's so many odd discussions in here these days.

Tbh IO's bean joke came into my head when I saw this thread. I say go for it. If she doesn't like it well then she's not worth having in the first place.

I thought of it as well. But then I saw IO's post.

Insect Overlord

ohthebaby wrote: »

Tbh IO's bean joke came into my head when I saw this thread. I say go for it. If she doesn't like it well then she's not worth having in the first place.

Jackobyte wrote: »

I thought of it as well. But then I saw IO's post.

I still rule this kingdom really.

jumpguy

<Snip>

challengemaster

Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip?

To get to the same side!

:pac:

Laisurg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9oPglXbO9N8

This can NEVER fail. :P




But seriously if you like the bird try talk to her and see what she thinks of ya, the good old friend alcohol might help get the ball rolling :P change your arm and see what happens, if it fails then it fails and you may as well move on, no use dwelling on it. If your confident enough that you'll be able to talk to her without making an arse of yourself then do it, otherwise your best option is to get one of your mates who's preferably got a bit of charisma to talk to her for you, worst thing you can do is ask her out straight away anyway so don't do that ^^

Professey Chin

I recommend headkicks
Wimmin love headkicks

Insect Overlord

Iwannahurl

After making her a cup of tea, read her The Flea. Dazzle her with your knowledge of John Donne's subtle and witty eroticism. That'll get her going.

Then show her the classic Countdown out-take below. Make her laugh and she'll fall for you.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eQw4ixYFWQI

spider guardian

no point aiming for the fireplace if what you want to do is poke the fire. tell her you want to ride her

Banjo Fella

nialldeman wrote: »

how do i get her to like me?

HOBBIES AND INTERESTS:
17th century poetry
long walks on the beach
countdown
some light reading

Are those her interests or yours? If they're hers, I think you should be able to concoct a deviously clever way of asking her out from all of that...

Try writing her a poem in the style of Jonathan Swift, entitled "A Description of a Game of Countdown". In it, detail the dashing protagonist Niall's epic struggle to unravel the secrets of the 9-letter conundrum that is "COURTSHIP". Bonus marks if you can include something about Richard Whiteley doing back-flips, while managing to work in the line "I'm consonantly thinking about that girl!" Deliver this poem to her on a beach! Once she's finished reading it, ask her "do you want to go out with me?", and then use an MP3 player to play the Countdown Theme while you await her (hopefully correct) answer. Flawless victory!

Colm!

It's clear that you may be talking about someone who has an interest in old-fashioned values, the 17th century poetry is a dead giveaway to that.

You should challenge her father to a boxing match at the town gates in front of a large audience to declare your love for her. Contact your local druid to organise this. By the Brehon law, the victor of such challenge is seen as a suitable suitor for the daughter. However, there are certain rules that must be followed: under such law one must be capable of making tea for their significant other. Furthermore, if you lose, it is in the position of the father to choose your fate.
Bonus points are awarded if the daughter's name is Róisín, you fight with a plastic bag from Centra over your face, and are able to speak modern urban Irish poetry as Gaeilge.

SarahBeep!

Or you could use THE BEST CHAT UP LINE EVER!!!!


Do you work for Iaranrod Eireann?

Coz you're on-rail

Works eeeeeeeverytime :cool:

Davidius

SarahBeep! wrote: »

Or you could use THE BEST CHAT UP LINE EVER!!!!


Do you work for Iaranrod Eireann?

Coz you're on-rail

Works eeeeeeeverytime :cool:

But what if they're not? Does it still work?

Duffy the Vampire Slayer

Follow the advice in this song....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xy4FXhkm6Nw

nialldeman

guys you re advice is well appreciated
gotta say boards is a great website
further help will be appreciated

ps i got an a in biology just saying ya know just incase u wanted to know

Insect Overlord

Screaminmidget

nialldeman wrote: »

ps i got an a in biology just saying ya know just incase u wanted to know

I'd start with that.

Jamie Starr

The quickest way to a woman's heart is through her parents.


Have sex with them, and you're in!

meleady26

murphthesmurf

nialldeman wrote: »

HOBBIES AND INTERESTS:
17th century poetry
long walks on the beach
countdown
some light reading

so all advice is welcome

<snip>

TrustedApple

Its all down to the bull shi.t you tell her anything like what you have been saying if I was chatting up a girl and I came out with that I would be thinking to my self what the hell

Anyway I think mustly it's all down to the way you look and look after your self no cheap shoes you can say it all about a person when you look at there shoes.

The basic for me when chatting up a girl look at her face not bad. her hair good. Her shoes good then she might have the bigist scum speaker a have ever seen you must find away to get out of it

Because you need to chat up ones with money not a girl where you have the looks and the money I nearly fell into that one because I was thinking of banging her not the outher way around

Also it helps if you make good tea or in my case because I am a coffee drinker good coffee maker

murphthesmurf

Mankini's, girls love mankini's. Wear on its own with flip flops and a splash of Brute. GGrrrrrr

EuropeanSon

samapple789 wrote: »

Its all down to the bull shi.t you tell her anything like what you have been saying if I was chatting up a girl and I came out with that I would be thinking to my self what the hell

Anyway I think mustly it's all down to the way you look and look after your self no cheap shoes you can say it all about a person when you look at there shoes.

The basic for me when chatting up a girl look at her face not bad. her hair good. Her shoes good then she might have the bigist scum speaker a have ever seen you must find away to get out of it

Because you need to chat up ones with money not a girl where you have the looks and the money I nearly fell into that one because I was thinking of banging her not the outher way around

Also it helps if you make good tea or in my case because I am a coffee drinker good coffee maker