Weirdest house/flat mate you ever had?

Seaneh

Right, so we all have weird house mates. But what's the Weirdest?

I am currently living with a class one freak.

He moved in in september, he's a friend of one of the two lads who I moved in with. Total Waster, late 20's, never had a real job, talks constant ****e and does bull**** VEC courses every few years to get the dole off his back.

Talks waffle about moving to Australia for work but couldn't afford the bus fare to dublin, let alone the flight or meet visa requirements.


Anyway, on to how much of a freak he Is...


He was grand for the first few months mostly quiet if a bit odd.

But then after christmas he started acting like a moody 14 year old.
slamming doors, blasting **** angst ridden music at full blast while bang his feet on the floor in his room, etc...


So one day I come home and taped on the door of the cupboard above the fridge is a sketch of Alf, as in the alien from the 80s TV show...
Its taped in such a way that you can't open the cupboard. So I take other down and put it on the kitchen table. He puts it back up, I take it down, this happens a few times before I finally put it in the recycling pile.
He pins it to the fridge with a note saying 'touch alfred again and ill break your fingers'.
So I just left it there, it eventually fell off so I spilled tea on it, walked on it, etc...
He didn't put it back up after That.si



He carried on being a moody 14 year old until this tuesday evening when I was in the living room watching TV, he was in the kitchen on his laptop, drinking and listening to music and every now and the would turned uo up so I'd have to turn the tv up just to hear it above his ****e.

Then at 7.30pm-ish he walks into the living room, chest out acting all hard and stands in the middle of the room for 15-30 seconds glaring at me, I laughed at him and looked away and he walks out and slams the door.

Half an hour later he starts blaring Queen's Bohemien Raphosidy (Sp?), while holding it to the door between the kitchen and living room and singing through the keyhole.
He then starts waving a kitchen knife alone the ground under the door.

Seriously. This happened.

So I opened the door and told him to grow the **** up...
he starts acting all brave, knife in hand, putting on a stupid cockney accent (he's from Kilkee!) saying 'do you want some, ill ****ing so it' with his chest out while his whole body shakes.


He left the room and I was left with two options.

A) pick up the poker beside me and batter the living ****e out of the scumbag

Or

Call the cops and keep it all above board.

Now, 2 years ago it wouldn't have even been an option, I'd have left him in A&E and broke my hand off his face. But since then I've had a stroke and gone through a year and a bit of anti-coagulant therapy so getting cut isn't in my immediate interest.


So I called the cops, no point risking anything.


They came, cautioned him and asked me if I wanted him arrested.
I said I didn't see a point in that, them giving him the caution would do the job and scare the gob****e enough and he'd get back into his box, they agreed and went on their way.

They weren't even out of the drive way before he started getting mouthy. So I told him if he didn't shut the **** up I'd batter him and if he ever lifted a weapon and threatened me again I'd break his legs.

He shut up...




Now, since then, he's shut up and avoided me. Wise man.
He went back to clare this weekend and my two other house mates are away aswell so I had the place to myself. Happy days.



Anyway.
About an hour ago... I had a poo. and I flushed it, and the flush was crap, didn't do the job at all, and the cistern was taking forever to refill. So I lifted the lid. And in there was stuffed a sock, clogging up the mechanism.



So I remove said sock, which is neatly folded. my initial thought is the weirdo is stashing speed or coke other crystal meth in there so I unfold it... And what I found was disgusting.

The sock was covered in chunks of ****.
I almost puked. What a ****ing weirdo.


so I check the toilet up stairs. Same thing. **** covered sock stashed in the cistern.


And then, for good measure, I check behind the sink upstairs and, you guessed it, two more **** covered socks stuffed behind it...


What a ****ing psycho.
I'm moving out this week, thank ****, but I'm majorly Creeped out...


Can you top that AH?

Laisurg

Wow :L just wow, something seriously wrong with that bloke... was living in a place with 5 russian alcoholics but that's about it really.

Naikon

I know somebody who lived with a guy that ate his cold leftovers the next day. From the bowl he ate the food in, no less.

seafood dunleavy

I was looking for that sock.

Blatter

I lived with a guy who used to take a sh*t every morning and not bother to flush it after him.

I confronted him about it and he claimed he never flushed because he didn't want to wake me up in the morning.

How considerate.

Spore

wow, just wow.

I used live with a girl that couldn't talk directly to me. Everything had to be through notes. I opened the fridge one day to find a letter addressed to me starting "dear cúnt face..." needless to say I didn't read the rest. Fooking weirdo.

Caoimhín

Oooooh, I lived in a high rise flat in Amsterdam with a few lads. One particular nutter came home from work one Friday, drank a bottle of whiskey in 10 mins, swallowed a gram of cocaine, five E's and then headed off on a bike to find himself a hooker.

Never saw him again unsurprisingly.

Poor Craythur

Seaneh wrote: »

Can you top that AH?

Nope, you win.

I once living in the flat downstairs from a prostitute in Drumcondra. Was fun to freak out her clientele by standing in my doorway and staring at them or waving at them with a huge grin on my face while they rushed up the stairs morto. Middle-aged men mostly. One of her clients was the manager of the shop next door. Creeper fúcker. When I'd smile and wave at him, he'd smile and wave back. Not a bother on him. :eek:

Was fine until one Saturday evening, some dirty fecker buzzes our apartment and asks why there is no response from her flat.
Me: "Er, I don't know, I don't know her, I'm not her keeper"
Dirty Fecker: "So, what about you then."

:eek::eek::eek:

The back door to our building was broken at the time, and our front door easily kicked in so I was freaking out! So, I threatened to call the guards and that thankfully got rid of him.

watna

There's an epic thread about this somewhere in AH. There were some great stories there.

I'm too lazy to search for it though.

Seaneh

Spore wrote: »

wow, just wow.

I used live with a girl that couldn't talk directly to me. Everything had to be through notes. I opened the fridge one day to find a letter addressed to me starting "dear cúnt face..." needless to say I didn't read the rest. Fooking weirdo.

Was her name Emily?
I lived with her!

Doublin

A Slovakian lad, 6ft6 built like a tank. He was a mechanic by trade, would come home and play World of Warcraft all night in the living room, with the volume on and screaming at his laptop when things didn't go his way, while we were watching TV. He was having troubles with his wife back home & when he was pissed off, would buy a bottle of Tequila and sit there doing shot after shot in the living room staring into space. No talking to him, he was always itching for a fight so we just ignored him. A very angry bloke, but in fairness he was a clean freak & used to scrub the house every weekend. It was a much more relaxed house when he moved out & we got a Polish woman in.

David900

watna wrote: »

There's an epic thread about this somewhere in AH. There were some great stories there.

I'm too lazy to search for it though.

Ah please search for it, this thread is great.
I'm having a hard time figuring out what was in the sock of the first post though, I'm guessing shít?

Seaneh

David900 wrote: »

Ah please search for it, this thread is great.
I'm having a hard time figuring out what was in the sock of the first post though, I'm guessing shít?

Yes. It was indeed Shit.

Silent Runner

I have a house mate who stays in his room all the time. He eats all his meals in his room, and only comes out to go to the toilet or cook something. Even when he's cooking something he won't stay near the kitchen but go in and out of his room to check on his food.

I've been there for almost nine months and I've only had two conversations with him and they were about him trolling the internet, which I have no interest in but I think this is all he does. He won't say a word to me even if I say hello, it's gotten to the stage where we haven't said anything to each other in almost nine months.

Could be a lot worse though

Eric Cartman

I had a housemate 2 years ago , he started out fine but he lost his job in a shop that closed down about 6 months in to him living there, It was grand as he paid that months rent so he had a month to find a job before he had to pay me more rent (direct debit out of my account to the landlord for the whole gaf , then the other 2 lads would pay me rent back) ,

so anyway about 2 weeks into being unemployed he says he has 2 interviews, grand so , left him be , a week later he tells me hes gotten a job in the local AIB , grand so I thought , and shure enough every day he would get up at 8.45am and head out to work in a suit and all... so rent day rolls by and he gives me the months rent in the form of a bunch of 5ers , coins and a few really scruffy 10's - a bit odd I thought

so this continues on for the next month with him leaving the house at 8.45 , his girlfriend making him lunch to go to work etc... so rent day rolls round again and hes scarpered off to his girlfriends gaf for a week, try to get hold of him and he keeps texting me saying the bank just ****ed up and hell have my money the next week , so another week goes by and he calls me one night on my way home from work to ask for a lift back to the house, told him he better have the rent, he did, went to a shop and gave me money out of the ATM which would have been fine if his girlfriend didnt call me and the other housemate 2 days later accusing me of stealing (the exact amount) from her laser card which she left in the house , (yes boardsies, the chap robbed from his own missus , and for some reason she let him go to the shop to see the cctv footage of who used the atm , he told her it was 'some black lad' and she believed him )


so I decided to try call into AIB to see him during the week , asked the woman at the customer services desk (its a small branch, maybee 15 staff total) and she says nobody by my housemates full name or even his first name has worked there for as long as shes been there (id assume it was a long time by her age)

so waited for the lad to come home, confronted him and he threw a wobbler, disappeared off for another week , leaving me and my other housemate very confused , he keeps doing more and more erratic things, so long story short I kick him out at the end of may / star of june , between gas, ESB and rent he owes me 750 euro (still owes that to me to this day) , I ask him for the key back and he claims he posted it to the house and doesnt have it anymore. So over june I have a friend staying up with me as shes doing exams and I pre warn her just incase he comes in call the gards , and show her a picture of the offending ex housemate.

sure enough the chap comes back to the gaf at about 7 or so and knocks at the door, she ignores it and after about 15 mins goes out to see what the story is, his bag is there on the doorstep and hes nowhere to be seen, she closes and locks the door and texts me , I come home from work 3 hours later and find him and the bag in my side passage, tell him to fúck off unless he has 750 euro , he doesnt but claims he just needs the last of his stuff from his room , i tell him he can have his clothes if he signs an agreement which I had a law student help me with which bacially says he acknowledges he owes the money , what the money is for and that he will pay it back with interest at ECB rates. so he signs that and its witnessed and all , so he goes up, takes a bag of clothes and leaves his original bag there , and fúcks off

So I go and look in the original bag he left and theres forms and statements from banks , hes applied for loads of accounts and owes all of them about 12 odd grand in overdrafts, loans, cards etc... , then I find sponsorship forms for a sponsored run one of the colleges has organised , and they say hes sponsored for 500 odd euro or so (explains the rent in 5ers etc...) I know well he didnt run that , this chap is absolutely fúcked. So he returns the next day to go and collect this bag and some more clothes and I just stand there laughing at him , he has no Idea why but i just told him 'get me my 750 euro , banks and charities dont put people in A&E' and with a confused face he left ,

another interesting fact , while telling mates this story a few of them said they used to see him all the time walking round the village and dublin city in the suit at all times of the day, wtf was he doing like
and another mate saw him in dublin last year , tried to say hi and the lad just turned round and ran away

Poor Uncle Tom

/so that what happens the ex-apprentices......:p

Bobjims

While living in Chicago, there were 6 of us staying in this apartment. One of the lads was one of the strangest people Ive ever lived with. He had no job and would sleep 18 to 20 hours a day. His room smelt like a zoo because he was too cheap to buy any shower gel, so his own body odor tainted his bedroom.

We had to confront him a few times after we caught him stealing others food. I remember coming home one day to catch him finishing off this expensive steak that I was saving for dinner. To top that off, he had just opened this tub of ben and jerrys that cost me something like $7. I sent him marching straight down to the shops to buy me another one and he came back with a puny steak that was not nearly as decent as the one he stole.

Another day we asked him to clean the leftover food out of his room as it was starting to rot. He didn't do this and when we came home from a bar at around 4 in the morning, there he was watching tv oblivious to the fact that the apartment was infested with ants and flies. The alleyway next to our building was cleaner. It was so bad that we had to stay at another friends place that night.

AwayWithFaries

Well OP no way I can beat your story. That guy sounds like a top weirdo.

Most interesting guy I lived with was a sound enough chap but had his bouts of weirdness.

Threw a bedside locker out of a first floor window one night. Not like we were having a party that night or anything just randomly decided to do it.

Partial to smacking golf balls around in the middle of road. Took out the window of a very prominent building nearby.

Playing cricket in the middle of the road. was another of his past times.

Playing Arcade Fire (never anything else) loudly in the middle of the night despite me telling him to STFU.

Strangely he wasn't my least favourite out of all the people I lived with in that house. One of them lived there for four months, paid no rent, no bills then disappeared back to Kilkenny never to be heard of.
Another guy then that wouldn't clean up after himself. Would sit around all day doing nothing only making a mess and when we would ask him to clean up after himself would all of a sudden have a an essay to write and would f**k off.
Fun times.

Oranage2

Eric Cartman wrote: »

I had a housemate 2 years ago , he started out fine but he lost his job in a shop that closed down about 6 months in to him living there, It was grand as he paid that months rent so he had a month to find a job before he had to pay me more rent (direct debit out of my account to the landlord for the whole gaf , then the other 2 lads would pay me rent back).................................

Guy owes falls and hard times owes 12k and you laugh at him? I know its not your problem but a bit of decency wouldnt go astray!

Eric Cartman

Oranage2 wrote: »

Guy owes falls and hard times owes 12k and you laugh at him? I know its not your problem but a bit of decency wouldnt go astray!

a lad who was on just over minimum wage and loses his job goes to aquiring and spending 12k over the space of 3-4 months + robbing from charity, his girlfriend and lying to his housemates/friends/girlfriend does not deserve sympathy. If he had have been honest when he lost his job im sure it would have been a much different situation , hes fúcked his life up a lot , whenever I have time and spare money I will get my money back too , I dont care if it costs me 749.99 in solicitors fees , he will be out 750 euro before Im done with him

sunflower27

OP, that is one of the weirdest things I've ever read that wasn't in a book or film.

Seriously, that is one messed up f*cker. When are you actually moving out? I'd be gone now if I was you.:eek:

Oranage2

Lived with a guy that would wake up at 7am to play WWE on the PS2 and blair rave music at top volume.

He'd play GTA all day and just rob a car a do doughnuts in it hours on end.

He was a would mop the floors everyday and wouldnt let you go into the kitchen for hours.

He would play rave music on his phone and sing a long to it "Riverside motha fu*ka", he'd also play the same 3 songs constantly.

Nothing to bad not like the op.

Hulk Hands

SOCCER4LIFE wrote: »

I lived with a guy who used to take a sh*t every morning and not bother to flush it after him.

I confronted him about it and he claimed he never flushed because he didn't want to wake me up in the morning.

How considerate.

Fair play to him tbh, wish my housemates were like that

Brussels Sprout

I lived in a house in the UK last year for four months. One of the guys in there was a total freak. When he came in from work he'd go straight to his room and the only time he'd leave it again was to go to the bathroom or to leave the house again. He never entered the sitting room or the kitchen. He also never showered, so much so that when he entered the house there was an awful smell of BO and smoke from him.
THe first time I bumped into him in the hallway I said hello and he didn't even stop or look at me. Instead he grunted something and pushed past me. I was staying in a room above his and had to walk past his door to get up to my room. There was a reek of smoke coming from his room (even though it was a non smoking house) and all I ever heard was his computer on all the time and him laughing crazily.

After a few weeks my other normal housemate told me that he suspected that the weirdo was pissing in the sink in the bathroom. Sure enough I noticed that often in the morning there were these yellow residual droplets in the sink. My housemate ended up writing a letter like:

Dear Housemate (neither of us knew his name-I never found it out either)

Please stop pissing in the sink

XXX

Your housmates

and superglued it to his bedroom door. After that he seemed to stop but often in the night I'd hear him go to the bathroom and then I'd hear the shower run for 20 seconds so I presumed that he was pissing in the shower instead.


One Saturday morning I was woken up at 7am by his alarm clock ringing incessantly. I though he'd gone to work and was fuming but half an hour later I heard his bedroom door slam shut. He'd been in there the whole time with the alarm going off and was now leaving the house with it still on!

I raced down the stairs to confront him. He had gone to the bathroom so I just stood there waiting outside with my arms crossed blocking the staircase. When he came out he didn't notice me at first. There we were in the hallway and the alrm was still clearly beeping from his room. I just looked at him,, jerked my thumb in the direction of his room and had an incredulous expression on my face. He went back to his room to turn it off and I called after him "Were you going to leave the house with that thing blaring?". To which he said (in a teenage-angsty kind of way). "I didn't hear it alright!".

That was the only contact I had with him. Was very glad to leave that house.

Blatter

AwayWithFaries wrote: »

Strangely he wasn't my least favourite out of all the people I lived with in that house. One of them lived there for four months, paid no rent, no bills then disappeared back to Kilkenny never to be heard of.

That was me:D

Novella

In first year of college, I lived in on-campus accommodation. One day, one of the girls asked me for a lend of a razor. I gave her a disposable out of a packet I had that had never been used. She later tried to return it to me. Ew!

leahyl

Jesus Christ I'm speechless! WTF like! Some seriously deranged psychopaths around!:eek:

sunflower27

Can someone please point out to me why the socks were where they were. Was there a reason for it?

leahyl

sunflower27 wrote: »

Can someone please point out to me why the socks were where they were. Was there a reason for it?

No hence the psychopath description!:D

sunflower27

leahyl wrote: »

No hence the psychopath description!:D

Thought maybe I was missing something. That is seriously disgusting and scary :eek:

Aoifey!

Brussels Sprout wrote: »

Dear Housemate (neither of us knew his name-I never found it out either)

Please stop pissing in the sink

XXX

Your housmates

The "XXX" just makes it :pac:

Alter-Ego

Novella wrote: »

In first year of college, I lived in on-campus accommodation. One day, one of the girls asked me for a lend of a razor. I gave her a disposable out of a packet I had that had never been used. She later tried to return it to me. Ew!

Its only pubes.

Rhamiel

sunflower27 wrote: »

Can someone please point out to me why the socks were where they were. Was there a reason for it?

To wipe his bum bum because he was too cheap to buy toilet paper??
... a lesson we could all learn from during a time of recession :pac:

whiteboy

This thread is a proof that moving in with strangers is NOT a good thing.

Savage Tyrant

Seaneh wrote: »

Can you top that AH?

No, no I cant.......

I was coming on here to post an awesome story about a spunk-bucket of a housemate who used to shag EVERYONE. 3 of my mates at the same time in a pub toilet once. And literally any lad who called to the house for a few cans..... but after reading that OP story I just couldn;t do it any justice.

Oranage2

Savage Tyrant wrote: »

No, no I cant.......

I was coming on here to post an awesome story about a spunk-bucket of a housemate who used to shag EVERYONE. 3 of my mates at the same time in a pub toilet once. And literally any lad who called to the house for a few cans..... but after reading that OP story I just couldn;t do it any justice.

Sounds like somebody didnt get the ride

sunflower27

Rhamiel wrote: »

To wipe his bum bum because he was too cheap to buy toilet paper??
... a lesson we could all learn from during a time of recession :pac:

Actually, that's a point. If he ran out of loo roll he just used his sock?

OP, did you ever see him walking around in just one sock?

Savage Tyrant

Oranage2 wrote: »

Sounds like somebody didnt get the ride

Unfortunatlely, to my great shame, I did.

PeterIanStaker

OP, just wow. I've rarely heard of anyone that strange.

Read over that a few times, and your housemate definitely needs professional help before he either harms himself or someone less tolerant kicks the sh!te out of him. Not that I'd have any sympathy for him.

I hope to hell you've moved.

Gyalist

watna wrote: »

There's an epic thread about this somewhere in AH. There were some great stories there.

I'm too lazy to search for it though.

Worst Housemates Ever

UglyBolloxFace

sunflower27 wrote: »

Can someone please point out to me why the socks were where they were. Was there a reason for it?

Simply put - he was wiping his hole with them.

sunflower27

UglyBolloxFace wrote: »

Simply put - he was wiping his hole with them.

Yeah, someone posted that a bit earlier. Signing off, have to go be sick...:(:p

blackdog2

God this thread really woke up auld fagan, have to have an allied Irish before going to work now!

Duggy747

One night I woke up hearing my door open up and a guy trying to sneak in, the GF started prodding me and I saw this figure standing at the side of the bed looking at us :eek: Without even thinking I hopped out of the bed, grabbed the person and fùcked them out of the room ready to kill them.

It wasn't until the we got outside my room that I realised it was my lesbian housemate (she has a boy's harido which made think it was a guy in the dark :pac:) The girl is a complete oddball so this was a suprise, even from her.

About 2 weeks later she did the exact same thing but this time I was awake sitting on my bed. She looks like she tries to sneak in and I just stare at her, watching her move like The Grinch. She looks at me, laughs and repeatedly mumbles "Pee-Pee" while her eyes were barely opened. I pushed her out and locked the door, she looked too wired to say anything to her.

She stopped doing it to me and started venturing into the other housemate's rooms. Freaked all of them out and now nobody enters or leaves their rooms without locking the shìt out of it.

Along with her leaving the immersion on for 8 hours a day (She'd come home at 4am, turn it on and then have a shower at 12 noon) we had enough of her shìt and told the landlord to sort her the fùck out. He had a chat with her and now she sneaks in and out of the house.

Her GF is an even bigger nutjob, very angry and deranged looking girl. One night my Muslim housemate (Colours of Benetton house I live in :P) was having a piss when the girl turned off the light on him. He shouted out that he was still in the toilet to which she turns it back on.................then turns it off again and runs downstairs.

The Muslim guy thought it was me or the other housemate playing a joke on him so when he goes downstairs he notices that the person is in the downstairs toilet. As a joke, he turns the light off to which he gets this deep, butch female voice saying: "Uhhhh, I'm still in here!" He got a shock, turned it back on and apologised to which the girl replied "You can leave it off...........if you want"

Baffled, he walks into the kitchen, she comes out of the toilet and into the kitchen after him, he turns around and sees her standing there..........towel around her waist.........but topless and rubbing her boobs (like as if she was tuning in a radio station) while threatening to kill him if he ever did that again to her. Poor guy was terrifed of her and ran straight up to me to tell me the story.

Everytime I mention the fact I live with 2 lesbian's people think along the lines of Playboy bunnies quality...............eh...............far, far from it.

L'prof

Duggy747 wrote: »

Everytime I mention the fact I live with 2 lesbian's people think along the lines of Playboy bunnies quality...............eh...............far, far from it.

Well then stop lying and tell people that you live with 2 dykes instead!

antocann

my BROTHER

JerryHandbag

Frickin hell, that guy in the OPs story sounds like something of a 1970s De Niro movie!

frag420

sunflower27 wrote: »

Actually, that's a point. If he ran out of loo roll he just used his sock?

OP, did you ever see him walking around in just one sock?

is this him...........
http://www.suffolkfreepress.co.uk/news/manure_fetish_man_jailed_1_2528122

frAg

previous user

Spore wrote: »

wow, just wow.

I used live with a girl that couldn't talk directly to me. Everything had to be through notes. I opened the fridge one day to find a letter addressed to me starting "dear cúnt face..." needless to say I didn't read the rest. Fooking weirdo.

What the f**ck is wrong with people, seriously? :eek:

filthymcnasty

Lived with a czech lad, not necessarily weird had some mad habits, would start drinking 9am on saturday cans of tuborg and play then wii all day. never seemed to eayt.
Would leave his truck out on the tiny road in front of house instead of returning to depot and wreck the neighbours heads. Found him asleep in there a few times.
Kept us entertained tales of his oul lad and mates trying to tunnel from czech republic to Austria during cold war
Grew a load of hash plants out the garden until the land lord told him to feck off.
sound bloke nonetheless.

mardybumbum

Savage Tyrant wrote: »

No, no I cant.......

I was coming on here to post an awesome story about a spunk-bucket of a housemate who used to shag EVERYONE. 3 of my mates at the same time in a pub toilet once. And literally any lad who called to the house for a few cans..... but after reading that OP story I just couldn;t do it any justice.

Do you know where she lives now by any chance?