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Doesn't 'miss' his absent dad...

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    #32
    metrovelvet
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,376 ✭✭✭metrovelvet


    Fittle wrote: »
    Wow, thanks for that purple bobbin - you've taught me alot.

    Just to clarify, and I know you apologised, but I don't force him to talk about his dad. I just bring him up in very casual conversation - never in a 'deep and meaningful' way, purposely, so he doesn't feel like it's something I pressure him to speak about. Hand on heart, the kid has no interest and is exactly like the kid you were when you were younger.

    thanks for mentioning the other stuff too - my son has an older sibling and knows about her, although he's never met her. But he also has a younger half-brother who I only recently found out about myself (my ex is in a new relationship:rolleyes:). So that's something that I think about - his thoughts when he realises that his dad is raising one son, having rejected him.

    so thanks again for that - again, it's opened my eyes to how he might feel in the future. But then none of us knows what's around the corner for him and how he'll feel.

    Thanks again, much appreciated.

    It all depends on how the dads feel about the mother. Ive seen it a million times. They love the mother of one of their kids, so the kids get a dad. Dont like the mother of another one of their kids, those kids dont get one.


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    #33
    talkin
    Registered Users Posts: 534 ✭✭✭talkin


    It all depends on the man if he's a decent person he cares about all of his kids! That's only excuse making.


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    #34
    K-9
    Registered Users Posts: 43,311 ✭✭✭✭K-9


    metrovelvet wrote: »
    It all depends on how the dads feel about the mother. Ive seen it a million times. They love the mother of one of their kids, so the kids get a dad. Dont like the mother of another one of their kids, those kids dont get one.

    Ah, the same can apply to mothers too. Mother moves on to another fella, Dad isn't a priority any more, new partner maybe seen as a new "Dad".

    Mad Men's Don Draper : What you call love was invented by guys like me, to sell nylons.



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    #35
    Fittle
    Registered Users Posts: 2,775 ✭✭✭Fittle


    talkin wrote: »
    It all depends on the man if he's a decent person he cares about all of his kids! That's only excuse making.

    Agreed.

    I know in my case, that's the excuse my sons dad uses anyway. I blamed myself for such a long time, particularly in the early years - (when the baby hormones were all over the place;)) and thought it was all my own fault that my son's dad didn't love/want him, because it was really me he didn't want.

    But of course, hindisight is such a wonderful thing and I now realise that his relationship with his son is exactly that, HIS relationship. It has nothing to do with me - I've never tried to block it or scupper it in any way and he has to take responsibility for his own actions. So whether he has ten more kids with ten more women, he can blame whoever he wants, but they will still remain HIS kids.


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    #36
    talkin
    Registered Users Posts: 534 ✭✭✭talkin


    Fittle wrote: »
    Agreed.

    I know in my case, that's the excuse my sons dad uses anyway. I blamed myself for such a long time, particularly in the early years - (when the baby hormones were all over the place;)) and thought it was all my own fault that my son's dad didn't love/want him, because it was really me he didn't want.

    But of course, hindisight is such a wonderful thing and I now realise that his relationship with his son is exactly that, HIS relationship. It has nothing to do with me - I've never tried to block it or scupper it in any way and he has to take responsibility for his own actions. So whether he has ten more kids with ten more women, he can blame whoever he wants, but they will still remain HIS kids.
    you'v no reason to ever blame yourself. it was his decision. i couldnt do it anyways no matter what my relationship status was with whoever.


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