Favourite Quote?

SilverFox261

"Holy Jesus Christ in Heaven! It's a giant Q-Tip" - Me, Myself and Irene

derfderf

"F***in hell": some bloke in the crowd when fr ted announces fargo boyle masterminded the whole thing.

petes

"I needed that, my teeth were under water!"

Paddy from Max & Paddy.

Plazaman

"Two identical castles...... each one more identical than the next" Bender

also

Calculon : Oh Coilette, come away with me to my paradise island where we'll live happily forever

Bender (as Coilette) : Will there be donkeys ?

Calculon : Yes there'll be donkeys, all you can eat.

Penn

"Give it to me straight, like a pear cider that's made from 100% pears"

Stewart Lee

JerryHandbag

Sham_Lad wrote: »

Jimi Hendrix was asked "What's it like being the best guitarist in the world?"

His reply "I don't know, ask Page"

He said Rory Gallagher

Penn

A life, Jimmy, you know what that is? It's the shit that happens while you're waiting for moments that never come.

- Lester Freamon (The Wire)

Norma_Desmond

Dream as if you live forever, Live as if you die today.
- James Dean

or

I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.
I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet.
I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.
- Groucho Marx

Skerries

All this has happened before, and all this will happen again

petes

President Truman: [Roswell, circa 1947] If you come in peace, surrender or be destroyed. If you're here to make war, we surrender.
Dr. Zoidberg: Both good. The important thing is, I'm meeting new people.
President Truman: Bushwah! Now what's your mission? Are you planning on making some kind of alien-human hybrid?
Dr. Zoidberg: Are you coming on to me?
President Truman: Hot crackers! I take exception to that.
Dr. Zoidberg: [coyly] I'm not hearing a no...

hardCopy

RichieC wrote: »

Bollocks am I a liability. I am the invisible Jihadi! They seek him here they seek him there, but he's not there! he's blowing up your slag sister! - Barry

Is he a martyr or is he a Jalfrezi?

almostnever

''If a man is called to be a streetsweeper, he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted or Beethoven composed music or Shakespeare wrote poetry. He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will pause and say, 'Here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well'."

Angron

"If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face—forever." O'Brien, Nineteen Eighty Four.

bonerm

Johnny: I kill you, you bastard!
Mark: You couldn't kill me if you tried.
Johnny: You betrayed me... you that good... you, you're just a chicken, chirp-chirp-chirp-chirp, cheep, cheep.

Dangerdunf

Meg: Be careful daddy. I love you.

Peter: That'll do pig. That'll do.


Classic Family Guy version of the quote

Sykk

"But their intervention makes our acts to serve ever less merely the immediate claims of our instincts." - Albert Einstein

Think about it

Penn

I think Einstein also said something like:

I don't know what weapons World War 3 will be fought with. But World War 4 will be fought with sticks and stones.

RichieC

"****ting f*ck, I've spelt this entire fking book wrong" - Geoffrey Chaucer

thebullkf

"Think as I think," said a man, "Or you are abominably wicked; You are a toad."
And after I had thought of it, I said, "I will, then, be a toad."

papajimsmooth

The meek shall inherit nothing

Turtyturd

'God is dead. God remains dead. And we have killed him. How shall we comfort ourselves, the murderers of all murderers? What was holiest and mightiest of all that the world has yet owned has bled to death under our knives: who will wipe this blood off us? What water is there for us to clean ourselves? What festivals of atonement, what sacred games shall we have to invent? Is not the greatness of this deed too great for us? Must we ourselves not become gods simply to appear worthy of it?' - Nietzsche

Kiith

"The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, 'You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I’m just not close enough to get the job done."

George Carlin

Sykk

Barrington wrote: »

I think Einstein also said something like:

I don't know what weapons World War 3 will be fought with. But World War 4 will be fought with sticks and stones.

I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.

You were close :pac:

MrKingsley

"Who was that?"

"Horrible Harry Hatchet"

"Jesus.....I've heard on him"

LuckyGent88

"My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, Commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next".

or
"Frazier is so ugly that he should donate his face to the US Bureau of Wild Life". Muhammad Ali on Joe Frazier

this is arse

There are three types of People:

1. Those who make things happen,

2. Those who watch things happen,

3. Those that wonder what happened.

holystungun9

JerryHandbag wrote: »

He said Rory Gallagher

Is that true?? So glad that Rory was so well respected.

Guill

It’s a case of mind over matter, I don’t mind because you don’t matter.

problemchimp

"Wings, only the band The Beatles could have been."
Allan Partridge.

blaze1

These spring to mind both from Snatch
you gotta love bricktop

Brick top
"when your spirt is floating towards the light
ya know whats behind the light ?
its not god. Its me
an im gonna kick your poncy soul
all the way back down the tunnel till ya choke on yourown ****ed up ribs

NOW WAKE THE F8CK Up

or
Do you know what "nemesis" means? "A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent." Personified in this case by an 'orrible ****: me.

Screaminmidget

Go hard or go home. When you apply this to your life, things change...

Bryan4president

Random Amish guy from the Simpsons:

"Tis a fine barn, but tis no pool"

Penn

Sykk wrote: »

I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.

You were close :pac:

Close, but no cigarette.

Plazaman

this is arse wrote: »

There are three types of People:

1. Those who make things happen,

2. Those who watch things happen,

3. Those that wonder what happened.

There are three types of people in this world, those who can count and those who can't.

HalloweenJack

From Yes, Minister:

"If the people don't know what you're doing, they don't know what you're doing wrong."

backthephilup

Dangerous Man wrote: »

'Listen to me, LISTEN TO ME YOU FUCK! I WORK FOR DICK JONES, DICK JOOOOOOONNNNNNESSS.' Smash through a pane of glass.



pRobABLy NOt mY favOUrIte bUt dEFINiteLy aN interEStiNg ONe.

Yep Erics dad was a bit of a Cnut in his salad days

Dr. Feelgood

Professor Hubert Farnsworth: So many loves half-loved. So many inventions half-invented. That damn time machine alone set me back fifteen years.

Dr. Zoidberg: If only it'd work, you could go back and not waste your time on it.

JerryHandbag

holystungun9 wrote: »

Is that true?? So glad that Rory was so well respected.

Yeah its true. And Jimi was right!

Turtyturd

"Is Futurama the new Simpsons?"

Me

Saila

dental plan.......















lisa needs braces....

D'Agger

The glory isn't in never failing, but in rising every time you fall

Jesus Wept

"Aint life great lads, all you need is green grass and a ball." - Bill Shankley.

"Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on, or by imbeciles who really mean it." - Mark Twain.

"Price is what you pay, value is what you get." - Warren Buffett.

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"Clay Davis"

GV_NRG

2 people in my irish class yesterday...

mary ann comes into the lass after finishing her oral..

tadhg : " Wheres catriona?? "
mary ann " oh the examiner is giving it to her! " hahahahaha
haha
ha
h....

ya you had to be there

UglyBolloxFace

One of my favorite quotes is

Dulce Bellum Inexpertis

More relevant in today's world than it has ever been.

GV_NRG

"Go to work, send your kids to school, walk on the pavements, watch T.V., save for your old age, obey the law.... repeat after me : i am free

Borat_Sagdiyev

Plazaman wrote: »

There are three types of people in this world, those who can count and those who can't.

There are 10 types of people in this world; Those that understand binary, and those that don't.

Kiva.D

I like this quote from The Ladies Lounge:

Stevie Dakota wrote: »

Dear women of the world,

I am from Mars, you are from Venus.
But I come in peace.

Yours sincerely,

Stevie

Ardennes1944

"and remember guys, flies spread disease.....so keep yours closed"
Sgt. George Luz, Easy Company. 101st

RayM

"If you've only read one book in your life... I thoroughly recommend you keep your mouth shut." - Stewart Lee