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Experiences of recovering child maintenance from UK

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  • 08-04-2011 11:36am
    #1
    Shell Shocked
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16 ✭


    Hi Ops

    My ex moved back to the UK in January leaving me and my 4 year old daughter. He was paying maintenance up until last month. So he has only paid 3 months maintenance in all. He has not seen his daughter since and my feeling is now he just wants to cut all ties. He's now engaged to someone else (since Feb) and is due to get married in Sept. My daughter is way down his list of priorities.

    I have been to see my solictor who took me through the process. I have to apply to the District court. The maintenance order will then be presented to the UK courts and converted into UK law. He will then be presented with a maintenance order. I just wonder would it be worth it, as the cost of pursuing this would be approx €2-3,000. He may give up his job (most likely) and where would this leave us then.

    So if there are any op's out there who have been in a similar situation, I would love to hear your experiences. Where you successful? and was it worth it?

    Thanks for taking the time to read this.


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    #2
    Cavehill Red
    Registered Users Posts: 6,109 ✭✭✭Cavehill Red


    They can't even enforce maintenance orders WITHIN the UK much of the time - hence the CSA debacles, of which there are many. So I don't see that you have a great likelihood of enforcing a maintenance order from another country.

    It seems to me that there are more fundamental issues here even than money. Your child's relationship with their father being the most paramount. Are you in contact with your ex at all? Do you know how to get in touch? If you did get in touch, are you able to have a civil conversation about your child together?

    It's very hard no doubt to face a situation where your partner leaves and quite quickly becomes engaged elsewhere. But for your child's sake, it may be essential to leave that animosity aside in order to a) ensure his continued engagement in your child's life from abroad, and b) to arrange maintenance and access.

    Your best chance of receiving maintenance is if you are able to have a civil conversation with him about it, I'd imagine.


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    #3
    Shell Shocked
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16 ✭Shell Shocked


    Thanks for your post Cavehill Red. I thought as much re maintenance in the UK.

    We are in contact via email and my ex has contacted our daughter twice through skype. He is supposed to visit next week, but he hasn't confirmed yet - so I'm not sure if he's actually coming. Unfortunately, he has told our daughter he is visiting so I hope for her sake he does visit.

    I have to be honest, I think he's trying to cut all ties and move on completely which is unfortunate for our daughter.


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    #4
    windsurfer99ie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 184 ✭✭windsurfer99ie


    Cavehill Red wrote: »
    They can't even enforce maintenance orders WITHIN the UK much of the time - hence the CSA debacles, of which there are many. So I don't see that you have a great likelihood of enforcing a maintenance order from another country.

    It seems to me that there are more fundamental issues here even than money. Your child's relationship with their father being the most paramount. Are you in contact with your ex at all? Do you know how to get in touch? If you did get in touch, are you able to have a civil conversation about your child together?

    It's very hard no doubt to face a situation where your partner leaves and quite quickly becomes engaged elsewhere. But for your child's sake, it may be essential to leave that animosity aside in order to a) ensure his continued engagement in your child's life from abroad, and b) to arrange maintenance and access.

    Your best chance of receiving maintenance is if you are able to have a civil conversation with him about it, I'd imagine.


    My experience is that the CSA and the UK court system are very effective at
    implementing court orders via attachment of earnings etc. Of course, in any country there are unreasonable people who would rather go to prison or work cash in hand rather than pay. I suggest you talk to a solicitor in Ireland about your particular circumstances.

    Being prepared to make compromises to achieve a civil relationship with him is important. The new relationship may not be as stable as he makes out and I don't know anyone who doesn't want to see their kids.


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    #5
    Shell Shocked
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16 ✭Shell Shocked


    Thank you Windsurfer99ie, good to hear something positive. I am now in the process of getting the ball rollowing re maintenance order.

    With regard to my daughter, her dad is just being obnoxious at the moment. His mother has confirmed with me he will visit his daughter this week, although I think it's more to collect his things. Hard to believe he's 44.

    He just abandoned us, set-up a new relationship and got enagaged all within 6 weeks. He didn't even have the gaul to tell us, instead he put his new relationship and engagement all over facebook.

    I hope for my daughter's sake he will maintain contact.


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