Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names]

wnolan1992

I'm glad I wasn't the only one who had no idea what the clue was... :pac:

iwantmydinner

wnolan1992 wrote: »

I'm glad I wasn't the only one who had no idea what the clue was... :pac:

You're actually one of the lucky ones. That goddamn blog pollutes my timeline like nobody's business.

coolhull

wnolan1992 wrote: »

I'm glad I wasn't the only one who had no idea what the clue was... :pac:

No, you're grand. There's at least two of us.

Mince Pie

coolhull wrote: »

No, you're grand. There's at least two of us.

Scratching my head here thinking I must be thick or something.

HeidiHeidi

coolhull wrote: »

No, you're grand. There's at least two of us.

Three....

XxMCRxBabyxX

Is anyone else seeing a load of statuses like this? I'm presuming that it's the latest "awareness" trend.

A mouse just ran across my foot

Although one did say moose... that's gotta hurt.

EDIT: A-ha! Found it on someone's status. Not actually a friend of mine but just someone who came up through some googling! Another game as suspected!

Hey all, the other day I posted that [wife] had found a job that required us to move. There is no job or any moving involved. It was supposed to be just a joke, my apologies.

Someone caught me out with this one!

"You never should have commented or liked my status! You fell in the trap, The person who likes or comments must choose one of the following phrases and put it in there FB status for at least 24 hrs.
1. I have been in 42 different relationships
2. I think I am in love with someone else
3. Someone offered me a job as a prostitute but I am hesitant
4. I've decided to stop wearing underwear
5. I still love my ex
6.I am pregnant
7. I want a baby
8. A mouse just ran across my feet
9. I'm adopting a monkey
10. My husband/wife/lover found a new job, we are moving

NOTE: Remember you can only use one of these sentences, No explanations, nor comments when someone likes or comments on your status. Send him/her this message. You must do it and please keep the secret... Lol"

Just a wee bit of fun!

Pawwed Rig

Mince Pie wrote: »

Scratching my head here thinking I must be thick or something.

I am absolutely lost

Femme_Fatale

omg dis iz amaaaaaazeballs

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10150930418385373&set=a.184042980372.136339.182713690372&type=1&theater

Femme_Fatale

Femme_Fatale wrote: »

omg dis iz amaaaaaazeballs

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10150930418385373&set=a.184042980372.136339.182713690372&type=1&theater

Mother. Of. God.

Toto Wolfcastle

Femme_Fatale wrote: »

omg dis iz amaaaaaazeballs

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10150930418385373&set=a.184042980372.136339.182713690372&type=1&theater

My irony detector exploded while I was reading the comments.

iwantmydinner

Femme_Fatale wrote: »

omg dis iz amaaaaaazeballs

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10150930418385373&set=a.184042980372.136339.182713690372&type=1&theater

The comments ...

"so true xx" KILLED me

wnolan1992

I've been sitting here deleting and retyping a sarcastic comment under that picture for about the last twenty minutes...

rawn

wnolan1992 wrote: »

I've been sitting here deleting and retyping a sarcastic comment under that picture for about the last twenty minutes...

Do it!

sinead88

"So wat we get drunk so wat we smok weed i'm young imm high i'm free ! x — feeling wonderful."

"ya ya ya i love that sound mamma do da hup mamma do da hup hup mamma wot u please let me da hup ya ya ya i lov that sound xxx i'm dancing round da place lik aa crazy biatch ha"

"One my relations today uve put on weight r u pregnant ya a ha as if that's y i have to wear 11 to 12 years clothes from the kiddie section go to specsavers woman !"

"my 2 fishies died tink it was wen i sprayed da air freshner this mornin just noticed dem now poor fishies tink its time 2 flush u down d toilet in2 da rivers"

All by the same person. I reckon the fish are probably playing dead in order to escape "in2 da rivers". Wouldn't blame them.

PopePalpatine

sinead88 wrote: »

"my 2 fishies died tink it was wen i sprayed da air freshner this mornin just noticed dem now poor fishies tink its time 2 flush u down d toilet in2 da rivers"

All by the same person. I reckon the fish are probably playing dead in order to escape "in2 da rivers". Wouldn't blame them.

I can't help but think of Darla from Finding Nemo now. :pac:

kumate_champ07

That_Guy wrote: »

Girl from my college course posted up a picture of her kid with the following comment from her:

"Soooo hot. #Stunnah"

What the fúck?

link?!



(joking!)

wnolan1992

FreeFallin94 wrote: »

"One my relations today uve put on weight r u pregnant ya a ha as if that's y i have to wear 11 to 12 years clothes from the kiddie section go to specsavers woman !"

sinead88 wrote: »

"So wat we get drunk so wat we smok weed i'm young imm high i'm free ! x — feeling wonderful."

"ya ya ya i love that sound mamma do da hup mamma do da hup hup mamma wot u please let me da hup ya ya ya i lov that sound xxx i'm dancing round da place lik aa crazy biatch ha"

"One my relations today uve put on weight r u pregnant ya a ha as if that's y i have to wear 11 to 12 years clothes from the kiddie section go to specsavers woman !"

"my 2 fishies died tink it was wen i sprayed da air freshner this mornin just noticed dem now poor fishies tink its time 2 flush u down d toilet in2 da rivers"

All by the same person. I reckon the fish are probably playing dead in order to escape "in2 da rivers". Wouldn't blame them.

Looks like ye may know each other. :pac:

We're getting closer and closer to the inevitable boardsie's status appearing here aren't we. :P

dirkmeister

PopePalpatine wrote: »

I can't help but think of Darla from Finding Nemo now. :pac:

Ha ha

GO, SHARKBAIT!!!

Wilberto

wnolan1992 wrote: »

Looks like ye may know each other. :pac:

We're getting closer and closer to the inevitable boardsie's status appearing here aren't we. :P

I'm glad you dug that up. I knew I saw it before!!

shruikan2553

Femme_Fatale wrote: »

omg dis iz amaaaaaazeballs

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10150930418385373&set=a.184042980372.136339.182713690372&type=1&theater

I doubt they would want to see statistics showing obesity levels and education compared.

whitewave

sinead88 wrote: »

"ya ya ya i love that sound mamma do da hup mamma do da hup hup mamma wot u please let me da hup

Sounds like they're trying to herd cattle

GarIT

shruikan2553 wrote: »

I doubt they would want to see statistics showing obesity levels and education compared.

I would though.

Muise...

Dumb preface to linked article about the current state of Iraq:

"Would this be happening if Saddam were alive today?"

Dumber comment:

"No one thing about regimes like this is they hold things together. Take Czechoslovakia after the Russians left - they had the Balkan war."

FreeFallin94

wnolan1992 wrote: »

Looks like ye may know each other. :pac:

We're getting closer and closer to the inevitable boardsie's status appearing here aren't we. :P

Actually she is my sister :L

GarIT

Can Tumblr posts join? Someone here posting that it is discrimination that she had to pay extra to get and extra large custom made bath because she is too big for regular baths and that all baths should be designed to fit all people. Same person claims to be 32 stone in another post.

rawn

GarIT wrote: »

Can Tumblr posts join? Someone here posting that it is discrimination that she had to pay extra to get and extra large custom made bath because she is too big for regular baths and that all baths should be designed to fit all people. Same person claims to be 32 stone in another post.

I would definitely love to make this a Facebook/Twiiter/tumblr/any other social media thread.

CarMe

Can't believe I got thrown out from my own birthday! I didn't get sick.....all I did was piss on the sick!!! Lies out of that bouncer saying I smelt like sick! I'm never going to the cock and bull again! Great start to being 24!!

Lisha

CarMe wrote: »

Can't believe I got thrown out from my own birthday! I didn't get sick.....all I did was piss on the sick!!! Lies out of that bouncer saying I smelt like sick! I'm never going to the cock and bull again! Great start to being 24!!

Aghhh no wonder we've such a drunken reputation in Australia

yerwanthere123

CarMe wrote: »

Great start to being 24!!

This is the bit that shocked me the most to be honest! :eek:

keithclancy

Any post to do with some bible quotes.

E.G.

"Thing" happened, Jimmy 16:12 "And he went the shops to buy some wham bars"

I know Jesus will save me.

ffs

No, Sorting your life out at using a bit of common f*cking sense will fix your problem.

thecatspjs

#‎Lads‬ ‪#‎nightsout‬ ‪#‎banter‬ ‪#‎dienslowly‬

y u do dis?

Scouser

thecatspjs wrote: »

#‎Lads‬ ‪#‎nightsout‬ ‪#‎banter‬ ‪#‎dienslowly‬

y u do dis?

i think i know that plonker

czechlin

Muise... wrote: »

Dumb preface to linked article about the current state of Iraq:

"Would this be happening if Saddam were alive today?"

Dumber comment:

"No one thing about regimes like this is they hold things together. Take Czechoslovakia after the Russians left - they had the Balkan war."

:eek:

glass_onion

i seen a groups on missing pets.The pets are not gonna read it and come back!.

glass_onion

Have to ask about the "like and share" compos.Has anyone ever actually won something on them?.

kunst nugget

glass_onion wrote: »

i seen a groups on missing pets.The pets are not gonna read it and come back!.

Yes, because that's how missing pet posters work as well. The dog is walking down the road after a week of chasing bitches and sees his face up on a ESB pole and thinks 'Sh¡t, my owner's looking for me again! Dammit Spot, think with the big brain and not the little brain in the future! She's going to be out of her mind and crying and sh¡t just like last time. Humans look well ugly when they cry…'

kunst nugget

glass_onion wrote: »

Have to ask about the "like and share" compos.Has anyone ever actually won something on them?.

This girl did!!!

Oh, wait…

Muise...

kunst nugget wrote: »

Yes, because that's how missing pet posters work as well. The dog is walking down the road after a week of chasing bitches and sees his face up on a ESB pole and thinks 'Sh¡t, my owner's looking for me again! Dammit Spot, think with the big brain and not the little brain in the future! She's going to be out of her mind and crying and sh¡t just like last time. Humans look well ugly when they cry…'

Unfortunately how they work is some poor pet-less person posts a photo of their pet and a plea for help. They then get loads of comments and rush to the page to get news, only to read 100's of "Aw, he's lovely " and "if anyone did anything to my dog I'd gouge their eyes out with a fish-hook. :mad:"

reap-a-rat

glass_onion wrote: »

Have to ask about the "like and share" compos.Has anyone ever actually won something on them?.

A friend of mine won an iPad about a year and a half ago, I suppose it was before EVERYTHING was a competition. Also know people who've won different things from smaller companies, local companies etc. The "Like & Share to win one of these PS4s that were sent back because they had the wrong sticker" ones are all obviously farcical.

kunst nugget

Muise... wrote: »

Unfortunately how they work is some poor pet-less person posts a photo of their pet and a plea for help. They then get loads of comments and rush to the page to get news, only to read 100's of "Aw, he's lovely " and "if anyone did anything to my dog I'd gouge their eyes out with a fish-hook. :mad:"

Tbf, I have a friend who posts the odd dog-related post on facebook. She posted some stuff up around the time of the Lennox thing up north. Some of the people commenting were proper mental. There seems to be a certain breed of dog owners that are forever in danger of killing someone for speaking ill about their beloved animals. I always thought stroking pets was meant to be good for calming people down but it doesn't seem to work for those people…

Muise...

kunst nugget wrote: »

Tbf, I have a friend who posts the odd dog-related post on facebook. She posted some stuff up around the time of the Lennox thing up north. Some of the people commenting were proper mental. There seems to be a certain breed of dog owners that are forever in danger of killing someone for speaking ill about their beloved animals. I always thought stroking pets was meant to be good for calming people down but it doesn't seem to work for those people…

ditto anything to do with harming children. The vast majority of us possess the instinct to look after children and pets, but somehow some people seem to shriekingly denounce abuse like they're on trial for it in North Korea.

u_c_thesecond

glass_onion wrote: »

i seen a groups on missing pets.The pets are not gonna read it and come back!.

that is both the cruelest and funnies thing i have ever read:p

glass_onion

u_c_thesecond wrote: »

that is both the cruelest and funnies thing i have ever read:p

it was a genuine stupid off the cuff remark.apologies to all i offended:o.

dirkmeister

"Wrecked tired, and now ready for bed"

This is from a fella.

kunst nugget

dirkmeister wrote: »

"Wrecked tired, and now ready for bed"

This is from a fella.

Because being tired is for women and homosexuals?

dirkmeister

kunst nugget wrote: »

Because being tired is for women and homosexuals?

Yes, that's obviously what I meant.

Super-Rush

kunst nugget wrote: »

Because being tired is for women and homosexuals?

I think he might have meant why bother posting something like that.

Those posts can be worse than the more obvious crap you see on FB.

Who gives a sh1te if you're tired?

We're all tired.

BNMC

kunst nugget wrote: »

Because being tired is for women and homosexuals?

From my experience on FB it's predominantly women who tend to post the most innate and pointless shit such as that post.

Attention seeking at its finest.

Doctor Strange

BNMC wrote: »

From my experience on FB it's predominantly women who tend to post the most innate and pointless shit such as that post.

Attention seeking at its finest.

https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/3164785920/hC56543CD/

Ihatecuddles

All from the same guy, he never fails to make me laugh!

i just called my son a bag of ****e, he then told me not to call him a bag of ****e and then he cried cos he said a bad word..he's a strange bag of ****e.

here's my one and only parenting tip: be your kids sensible friend, not their evil dictator and tats all there is to it. now im about to ring my daughter and tell her one direction died in a gang war over a crack debt and see wat happens..

I've noticed a lot of people getting engaged for Christmas, im worried tat its goin to be the same situation as people getting a puppy.. do they really no the commitment their making? my main concern is come the end of january we'll start finding loads of abandoned fiance's behind shopping centres or in cardboard boxes out in bad weather conditions, an engagement/marriage isn't just for Christmas its until an affair/divorce.

I'm so hungover I'm sitting in marley park playground and I'm not even sure if I brought my kids... I feel like I'm coming down of some heavy drug and only getting back to reality... I think I'll just put my clothes back on and get the **** out of here.

I might terrorise my kids for my own enjoyment but I'm also getting them ready for the ****ty world, but bottom line I would die for them without hesitation... Anyway here's a pic of my kid after I told him if he doesn't eat old veg out of a smelly sock (he absolutely hates both) christmas and all he birthdays would be cancelled.

My kids passport photo looks like a mugshot after he was on a week long bender wit charlie sheen, and also his middle name is alf for no other reason than its a funny name