Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names]

Ihatecuddles

Please dont give this guy a dog!

heres me new pal tins jus hope no one gets him before I ge 2 dogstrust if ya wan a lovley dog go here and give a grt dog a good hm theres so many there and ud b helpin them ou so much bu not archie hes mine look up there website theres so many beautiful and affectionit dogs tha need a good hm jus not archie hes mine

Ihatecuddles

Please dont give this guy a dog!

heres me new pal tins jus hope no one gets him before I ge 2 dogstrust if ya wan a lovley dog go here and give a grt dog a good hm theres so many there and ud b helpin them ou so much bu not archie hes mine look up there website theres so many beautiful and affectionit dogs tha need a good hm jus not archie hes mine

Axel Lamp

mauzo! wrote: »

Please dont give this guy a dog!

He couldn't find 'dog' in the dictionary.

fussyonion

Friend of mine on Facebook keeps being reported for photos he's posting and has been banned a few times recently.

He told people to have a sense of humour. His friends are all agreeing, saying whoever is banning him needs to lighten up.
Ironic thing is, it IS one of his friends reporting him.

He was allowed back on FB today and told people "stop reporting me, everyone, it's gone beyond a laugh now".

He then proceeded to put up some pictures of naked women.
What's the betting he'll be reported again?

HeidiHeidi

Can you actually get banned from Facebook? :eek:

Who knew!

(I didn't)

retro:electro

mauzo! wrote: »

Please dont give this guy a dog!

I just died laughing!

gnfnrhead

HeidiHeidi wrote: »

Can you actually get banned from Facebook? :eek:

Who knew!

(I didn't)

If you dont confirm your account with a phone number you can be blocked and even deleted if you get reported.

Kaiser D

anna080 wrote: »

I just died laughing!

RIP in peace hun

xxxxxx

fussyonion

Kaiser D wrote: »

RIP in peace hun

xxxxxx

Yeah rip, ur with d angles now.

EoghanIRL

Kaiser D wrote: »

RIP in peace hun

xxxxxx

Lyk dis if u cri evrytim

Thundering_Sky

There was a lunar eclipse on Tuesday, as a result I defriended one person: " where's da moon gone lads? Did it explode or something?"

Ihatecuddles

fussyonion wrote: »

Yeah rip, ur with d angles now.

he only takes de best!!!


I should probably go to sleep. Been up buying a present for my OH to give him the morning of our wedding. Which is 5 weeks away. It is the most amazing gift ever and he's going to love it.

I swear I give the best presents.

Trivial thing that annoys me? (and everyone else) I can never shut up about my wedding

I've just seen a video from his stag on facebook and hes wearing this but with a bright pink afro wig. Christ.
http://www.fancydressoutlet.co.uk/images/69-costume-32724.jpg

focus_mad

The woman's cousin has two kids (she's a single mam) and all she puts up the whole time is "proudest mammy" or "loving life spending time with the kids".. Of course she's on 15 different types of benefits !!

Best one I've seen from her was;
"Oh Jesus.. <kid's name> ran on to the road and almost got hit by a jeep. Lucky it wasn't going fast lol".

Cue a few a her mates "loling" etc etc. I think she must have been dropped as a child.

PopePalpatine

mauzo! wrote: »

Please dont give this guy a dog!

What the fuck did I just read? This guy sprinkled txtspk all over his post!

BNMC

"any communion parents out der wat way do kids take.it.hand or mouth my cody still hasnt a clue god love him lol"

Poor kid.

ivytwine

BNMC wrote: »

"any communion parents out der wat way do kids take.it.hand or mouth my cody still hasnt a clue god love him lol"

Poor kid.

She sounds dedicated to her faith and not at all like she's having her kid go through the motions for the sake of it!

Pawwed Rig

Her Cody doesn't sound like the smartest tool in the shed. Chip of the aul block by the looks of it

MrStuffins

BNMC wrote: »

"any communion parents out der wat way do kids take.it.hand or mouth my cody still hasnt a clue god love him lol"

Poor kid.

If she's taken it in the hand or mouth she wouldn't have such a ........ little angel!

extra gravy

MrStuffins wrote: »

If she's taken it in the hand of mouth she wouldn't have such a ........ little angle!

FYP

wnolan1992

wnolan1992 wrote: »

I don't even...

Yeah, none of that makes any sense to me...

1) Did he not realise when he picked up the kettle and it wasn't warm?
2) Did he not realise when he poured the water and there was no steam?
3) Did he not notice when he was pouring the water and the cup didn't get warm?
4) Did he not notice the cup was cold "all the way" upstairs to where he took a sip?
5) hashtag75?

Not to mention the water won't take the tea anyway if it's cold. I've done it before like an eejit, but it's pretty easy to tell it's not working when the water is staying clear despite the teabag

Voodoomelon

"I just did the biggest Facebook 'friends' clear out I've ever done... only people I know, like & interact with have stayed on the bus. Well done everyone, happy to have you on board "

I barely know the chap.

Ihatecuddles

ivytwine wrote: »

She sounds dedicated to her faith and not at all like she's having her kid go through the motions for the sake of it!

You mean all the money they get!!

IvyTheTerrible

Voodoomelon wrote: »

"I just did the biggest Facebook 'friends' clear out I've ever done... only people I know, like & interact with have stayed on the bus. Well done everyone, happy to have you on board "

I barely know the chap.

People who talk about doing a friend clear out: instant de-friend.

Muise...

Jesus Christ above in Dublin, I shared a Waterford Whispers link I found amusing, and someone commented with a link to their article on "Ryan Tubridy Found Dead Inside" (the comments of which were comedy gold)

and then wrote

"I think I would put a big ? on what I read from that website."

What should I do? :eek:

kunst nugget

Muise... wrote: »

Jesus Christ above in Dublin, I shared a Waterford Whispers link I found amusing, and someone commented with a link to their article on "Ryan Tubridy Found Dead Inside" (the comments of which were comedy gold)

and then wrote

"I think I would put a big ? on what I read from that website."

What should I do? :eek:

I'd reply with:

I'd put a big ? on your ability to detect satire.

cynicalcough

For those who don't wanna talk ta me or ain't happy wit me cause of last nite hospitalised again.. Until ya have walked in my shoes for a day don't judge me! I don't need you's are symphony, I don't need you's are lectures even tho ya tink yas are helping.. But come ere for you's dat don't wanna talk ya me or ain't happy or watever, tink bout it, wen I'm necking tablets who's askin for sum, wen you's are neckin tablets who's da ones offering me dem? But (name) overdoses again an yas hate me don't wanna talk ta me or watever, yas are great support offering an poppin wit me, different story den Isn it? Yeah exactly! So I don't need yas are **** I've enough on me mind dan ya be worrying bou wat you's tink of me! I don't need any yas I'm not a ****in kid I'll make me own decisions! So see me middle finger sit on it! An remember I don't need you's are symphony so go **** yas are selfs #Hypercrites

pc7

cynicalcough wrote: »

I don't need you's are symphony

Brilliant! I've visions of the RTE Orchestra playing music for this person

Toto Wolfcastle

cynicalcough wrote: »

you's are symphony

Symphony.

Is 'you's are' an even more stupid version of 'yizzer'?

cynicalcough

#hypercrites :pac:

Pawwed Rig

cynicalcough wrote: »

#hypercrites :pac:

Wasn't he the medical lad, the Hypercrites Oath?

Custardpi

Bobblehead Panda wrote: »

Symphony.

Is 'you's are' an even more stupid version of 'yizzer'?

Hey, don't knock "yizzer". It's a fine Dublinian word which corrects the lack in standard English of a collective second person possessive pronoun. One of the many ways in which Hiberno-English improves upon the original language.

FurBabyMomma

Pawwed Rig wrote: »

Wasn't he the medical lad, the Hypercrites Oath?

http://cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/500x/9869953.jpg

milltown

mauzo! wrote: »

Please dont give this guy a dog!

This guy should be in a hm.

Smidge

cynicalcough wrote: »

For those who don't wanna talk ta me or ain't happy wit me cause of last nite hospitalised again.. Until ya have walked in my shoes for a day don't judge me! I don't need you's are symphony, I don't need you's are lectures even tho ya tink yas are helping.. But come ere for you's dat don't wanna talk ya me or ain't happy or watever, tink bout it, wen I'm necking tablets who's askin for sum, wen you's are neckin tablets who's da ones offering me dem? But (name) overdoses again an yas hate me don't wanna talk ta me or watever, yas are great support offering an poppin wit me, different story den Isn it? Yeah exactly! So I don't need yas are **** I've enough on me mind dan ya be worrying bou wat you's tink of me! I don't need any yas I'm not a ****in kid I'll make me own decisions! So see me middle finger sit on it! An remember I don't need you's are symphony so go **** yas are selfs #Hypercrites

Is that for real?
Who puts that kind of thing on FB? :eek:

shopaholic01

pc7 wrote: »

Brilliant! I've visions of the RTE Orchestra playing music for this person

A bittersweet symphony I think.

You's are symphony indeed

BNMC

"I'd like an opion on dis if any one tinks dis is exstream plz comment I was acumen home on bus and d bus driver said I'm bared coz on d way dare jazz dropped a orange peal I said I'd pick it up but he said not good enughf and wants to fine me300 I had plead wit him ta bring me home and I can never use DAT bus again he was in bad mood took it out on me and on bus bk he saw me picken a toy up for jazz coz I saw him look bk den he jammend on brake catapulted me across d bus I hurt my nee hip and anckel and he didn't even c was I OK r help me and I was obvisley hurt coz his reckless driven wen he had no reason ta brake let alone DAT fast and I'm suppose to pay a 300 fine how d **** is DAT right must be sumting I can do bout DAT do sent seem right dose it to u ??"

God be kind to her.

Muise...

BNMC wrote: »

"I'd like an opion on dis if any one tinks dis is exstream plz comment I was acumen home on bus and d bus driver said I'm bared coz on d way dare jazz dropped a orange peal I said I'd pick it up but he said not good enughf and wants to fine me300 I had plead wit him ta bring me home and I can never use DAT bus again he was in bad mood took it out on me and on bus bk he saw me picken a toy up for jazz coz I saw him look bk den he jammend on brake catapulted me across d bus I hurt my nee hip and anckel and he didn't even c was I OK r help me and I was obvisley hurt coz his reckless driven wen he had no reason ta brake let alone DAT fast and I'm suppose to pay a 300 fine how d **** is DAT right must be sumting I can do bout DAT do sent seem right dose it to u ??"

God be kind to her.

Pure txtspk and then a random ballad lyric? Reminds me of this, what with the cuckoo calling and all. To the Wicker Man with her.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BVdA9t-AOfU

BNMC

"exstream" is a particular favorite.

jamesbere

BNMC wrote: »

"I'd like an opion on dis if any one tinks dis is exstream plz comment I was acumen home on bus and d bus driver said I'm bared coz on d way dare jazz dropped a orange peal I said I'd pick it up but he said not good enughf and wants to fine me300 I had plead wit him ta bring me home and I can never use DAT bus again he was in bad mood took it out on me and on bus bk he saw me picken a toy up for jazz coz I saw him look bk den he jammend on brake catapulted me across d bus I hurt my nee hip and anckel and he didn't even c was I OK r help me and I was obvisley hurt coz his reckless driven wen he had no reason ta brake let alone DAT fast and I'm suppose to pay a 300 fine how d **** is DAT right must be sumting I can do bout DAT do sent seem right dose it to u ??"

God be kind to her.

That gave me a headache

cynicalcough

Smidge wrote: »

Is that for real?
Who puts that kind of thing on FB? :eek:

Yup real, not a friend but just someone I came across w a public profile. V entertaining if you can decipher it

Paddy Cow

cynicalcough wrote: »

For those who don't wanna talk ta me or ain't happy wit me cause of last nite hospitalised again.. Until ya have walked in my shoes for a day don't judge me! I don't need you's are symphony, I don't need you's are lectures even tho ya tink yas are helping.. But come ere for you's dat don't wanna talk ya me or ain't happy or watever, tink bout it, wen I'm necking tablets who's askin for sum, wen you's are neckin tablets who's da ones offering me dem? But (name) overdoses again an yas hate me don't wanna talk ta me or watever, yas are great support offering an poppin wit me, different story den Isn it? Yeah exactly! So I don't need yas are **** I've enough on me mind dan ya be worrying bou wat you's tink of me! I don't need any yas I'm not a ****in kid I'll make me own decisions! So see me middle finger sit on it! An remember I don't need you's are symphony so go **** yas are selfs #Hypercrites

This person has serious issues. They want people not to judge them until they've walked in their shoes but don't want any sympathy or advice? It would be laughable if it wasn't so tragic.

Paddy Cow

cynicalcough wrote: »

I don't need you's are symphony

pc7 wrote: »

Brilliant! I've visions of the RTE Orchestra playing music for this person

This song was playing in my mind reading that

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1lyu1KKwC74

razorblunt

Voodoomelon wrote: »

"I just did the biggest Facebook 'friends' clear out I've ever done... only people I know, like & interact with have stayed on the bus. Well done everyone, happy to have you on board "

I barely know the chap.

Tell him to get focked and delete him, that's my rule for those posts.

Paddy Cow

Voodoomelon wrote: »

"I just did the biggest Facebook 'friends' clear out I've ever done... only people I know, like & interact with have stayed on the bus. Well done everyone, happy to have you on board "

I barely know the chap.

I have never got one of these. I guess most people, if they really do not want to see posts from someone, just use that "hide posts" option. Then again I don't have 5000 friends on Facebook so maybe I just don't understand how hard it is to be so popular :pac:

pancake_tuesday

jamesbere wrote: »

That gave me a headache

*DAT

fussyonion

Girl 1: "rly sck of sum ppl on dis who tink der so clever slaggin me 2 me best mates srsly u must tink i came down in d last shwer ya prik y dont u say wot ur sayin to me face wot? Ne way stress city i think a few drinks is in order wotya tink anyone fancy meetin up for a few drinks and we gets lockos an not give a flyin fk about any1 frnds 4 life"

She received 15 "Likes" and the following comment:

"srsly hun dnt b worryin bout ppl on dis sure dey wudnt hav the balls 2 say haff the stuff to ur face did u see wot jayden broh home frm skool today a little picture of me n me nanny god rest her sole we miss her so much its mad but me ma sed sure nanny is up in haven wit d angles and isnt it nice dat jayden made a pictur so we can remmmbmer her/"

Girl 1: "jaysis dats pure luvly"

I'm sad to tell you I am quoting this verbatim.

PS I particularly like the "angles" typo...cracks me up everytime!!

AlwaysAnyTime

fussyonion wrote: »

Girl 1: "rly sck of sum ppl on dis who tink der so clever slaggin me 2 me best mates srsly u must tink i came down in d last shwer ya prik y dont u say wot ur sayin to me face wot? Ne way stress city i think a few drinks is in order wotya tink anyone fancy meetin up for a few drinks and we gets lockos an not give a flyin fk about any1 frnds 4 life"

She received 15 "Likes" and the following comment:

"srsly hun dnt b worryin bout ppl on dis sure dey wudnt hav the balls 2 say haff the stuff to ur face did u see wot jayden broh home frm skool today a little picture of me n me nanny god rest her sole we miss her so much its mad but me ma sed sure nanny is up in haven wit d angles and isnt it nice dat jayden made a pictur so we can remmmbmer her/"

Girl 1: "jaysis dats pure luvly"

I'm sad to tell you I am quoting this verbatim.

PS I particularly like the "angles" typo...cracks me up everytime!!

Don't be so obtuse.

December2012

fussyonion wrote: »

PS I particularly like the "angles" typo...cracks me up everytime!!

AlwaysAnyTime wrote: »

Don't be so obtuse.

It's acute post in fairness

harney

BNMC wrote: »

"I'd like an opion on dis if any one tinks dis is exstream plz comment I was acumen home on bus and d bus driver said I'm bared coz on d way dare jazz dropped a orange peal I said I'd pick it up but he said not good enughf and wants to fine me300 I had plead wit him ta bring me home and I can never use DAT bus again he was in bad mood took it out on me and on bus bk he saw me picken a toy up for jazz coz I saw him look bk den he jammend on brake catapulted me across d bus I hurt my nee hip and anckel and he didn't even c was I OK r help me and I was obvisley hurt coz his reckless driven wen he had no reason ta brake let alone DAT fast and I'm suppose to pay a 300 fine how d **** is DAT right must be sumting I can do bout DAT do sent seem right dose it to u ??"

God be kind to her.

I am so tempted to drop this in one of the transport forums and stand back *



* I promise not to troll the transport forums