Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names]

pc7

Business Cat wrote: »

Emma is his bird.

How did she get out of her cage?

Dancor

Popped up on my news feed recently

right everyone people always say it but i really dont know whats worst being a rat or being a rapist

Christ

iDave

A few months ago but will post now

Girl in late 20's uploads pic of Basil and says:

'Yum fresh basil - but it's making me crave mojitos !! '

Reply: 'Why would basil make you crave mojitos???'

OP: 'U know those green leaves at d bottom of ur glass??!'

Skeleton XIII

" I can't spell? Hahaha good one I think your the one that needs to have a look in the dictionary and realize that km spelling perfectly right and your the one spelling like a two year old now go suck your fathers dick ya immature little ****!"

Lucifer MorningStar

Dancor wrote: »

Popped up on my news feed recently



Christ

He's the cumshot his mother should have swallowed

Kaycee2

Seeing loads of statuses about the weather lately and most accompanied by pictures of beaches or parks which are nice but are just an excuse to get their legs and knees in a pic, taking pictures with the camera on their stomachs.

I've another friend who's become very fond of shadow selfies 'my shadow on the beach' my shadow against a tree' WTF!!

HeidiHeidi

Kaycee2 wrote: »

Seeing loads of statuses about the weather lately and most accompanied by pictures of beaches or parks which are nice but are just an excuse to get their legs and knees in a pic, taking pictures with the camera on their stomachs.

I've another friend who's become very fond of shadow selfies 'my shadow on the beach' my shadow against a tree' WTF!!

It's not the knees and legs I mind the most, it's the big ugly nobbly-toed feet in those pics I object to :eek:

kunst nugget

I draw a face on my penis and then I take picture of it against different backgrounds - Willy at the beach, Willy by the tree - that sort of thing. They are very tastefully done…

Jinonatron

****n gutted no money wen i went ovr..hav 2 go dwn nw 2 the dole nw itself

HeidiHeidi

Jinonatron wrote: »

****n gutted no money wen i went ovr..hav 2 go dwn nw 2 the dole nw itself

I get the first bit.... but what does the second bit mean?

batistuta9

HeidiHeidi wrote: »

I get the first bit.... but what does the second bit mean?

they've to go to the dole office (to see why their money wasn't in)

eisenberg1

Jinonatron wrote: »

****n gutted no money wen i went ovr..hav 2 go dwn nw 2 the dole nw itself

batistuta9 wrote: »

they've to go to the dole office (to see why their money wasn't in)

Jesus, that's tough, they must be exhausted:D

Photo-Sniper

"free da weed,,,,, make bob marley proud of his creation...RIP legendz"


Yes ladies and gentleman. Bob Marley planted the first ever cannabis seed.

Muise...

kunst nugget wrote: »

I draw a face on my penis and then I take picture of it against different backgrounds - Willy at the beach, Willy by the tree - that sort of thing. They are very tastefully done…

You should take a picture of it in a big crowd so we can play Where's Willy.

kunst nugget

Muise... wrote: »

You should take a picture of it in a big crowd so we can play Where's Willy.

Tried it at the Zoo. The popo didn't see it as an expression of my artistic side for some reason…

Muise...

kunst nugget wrote: »

Tried it at the Zoo. The popo didn't see it as an expression of my artistic side for some reason…

I actually looked up popo thinking it was an exotic animal.

coolhull

Muise... wrote: »

You should take a picture of it in a big crowd so we can play Where's Willy.

Or behind bars so we can shout ''Free Willy''

rob w

Kaycee2 wrote: »

Seeing loads of statuses about the weather lately and most accompanied by pictures of beaches or parks which are nice but are just an excuse to get their legs and knees in a pic, taking pictures with the camera on their stomachs.

Hot dogs or legs?!?

http://hot-dog-legs.tumblr.com/

The Snipe

Photo-Sniper wrote: »

**** me. This one takes the biscuit. Someone on my wall always posting quotes

"You know you love someone when you save their texts and reread dem when no one is watchin ya - Marilyn Monroe"

Eh......Text messaging wasnt even invented when Marilyn Monroe died you absolute doughnut.

Read that insult as "Dung ****" dunno why, but it sounded funny!

PrettyBoy

This made me laugh

Fluxfan

"ya muppet i told ya not to mail me now uve annoyed me fuk tellin ur bird ill go down kick ur door in and ull eat tis fone ya clown i wuldnt get up on ya to get over mountjoy wall ...."

same person:

"oh stop my x went to rid me over 6th floor in turkey he gotsum fright wen the nalcony shook haha i do meet them lol ...."

The same person works at "BED"

NormalBob Ubiquitypants

ppcperson wrote: »

"ya muppet i told ya not to mail me now uve annoyed me fuk tellin ur bird ill go down kick ur door in and ull eat tis fone ya clown i wuldnt get up on ya to get over mountjoy wall ...."

same person:

"oh stop my x went to rid me over 6th floor in turkey he gotsum fright wen the nalcony shook haha i do meet them lol ...."

The same person works at "BED"

Seems she is excelling in the University of Hard Knocks.

FreeFallin94

All of these are from the same girl. She is always posting this type of stuff. She is very charming, as you'll see from her comments under her status in the third screenshot! :pac::p

dee_mc

FreeFallin94 wrote: »

All of these are from the same girl. She is always posting this type of stuff. She is very charming, as you'll see from her comments under her status in the third screenshot! :pac::p

She sounds like a catch, fill me in, why is she single?!

WellThen?

"Jus lost me best mate, no point in goin on now"

Jesus christ and the comments are worse. I always feel like people who post personal upset or trauma on social websites are not upset or traumatised at all. So tempted to write "goodbye Claire" underneath it.

FreeFallin94

dee_mc wrote: »

She sounds like a catch, fill me in, why is she single?!

Well, funnily enough, she was recently engaged. For a month. Not kidding, her boyfriend proposed to her on Valentines day (original!), and they broke up on something like the 12 of march. I know this because during that month she put up around a million statuses about how he was her one true love :L Oh, and they had only been going out since like early January, and had moved in together after 2 weeks, so in total the entire relationship lasted 2 months :L (Once again- she literally posted all of this on her page! ).

She has been in love with at least 2 other guys since then! If anything I think she should maybe stick with the single life for a bit. :rolleyes:

dee_mc

FreeFallin94 wrote: »

Well, funnily enough, she was recently engaged. For a month. Not kidding, her boyfriend proposed to her on Valentines day (original!), and they broke up on something like the 12 of march. I know this because during that month she put up around a million statuses about how he was her one true love :L Oh, and they had only been going out since like early January, and had moved in together after 2 weeks, so in total the entire relationship lasted 2 months :L (Once again- she literally posted all of this on her page! ).

She has been in love with at least 2 other guys since then! If anything I think she should maybe stick with the single life for a bit. :rolleyes:

So she's basically Jordan?

rawn

WellThen? wrote: »

"Jus lost me best mate, no point in goin on now"

Jesus christ and the comments are worse. I always feel like people who post personal upset or trauma on social websites are not upset or traumatised at all. So tempted to write "goodbye Claire" underneath it.

It's a cry for help from a vulnerable person. Some friend you are

rawn

FreeFallin94 wrote: »

Well, funnily enough, she was recently engaged. For a month. Not kidding, her boyfriend proposed to her on Valentines day (original!), and they broke up on something like the 12 of march. I know this because during that month she put up around a million statuses about how he was her one true love :L Oh, and they had only been going out since like early January, and had moved in together after 2 weeks, so in total the entire relationship lasted 2 months :L (Once again- she literally posted all of this on her page! ).

She has been in love with at least 2 other guys since then! If anything I think she should maybe stick with the single life for a bit. :rolleyes:

Oh please post more of her drama

Wilberto

FreeFallin94 wrote: »

Well, funnily enough, she was recently engaged. For a month. Not kidding, her boyfriend proposed to her on Valentines day (original!), and they broke up on something like the 12 of march. I know this because during that month she put up around a million statuses about how he was her one true love :L Oh, and they had only been going out since like early January, and had moved in together after 2 weeks, so in total the entire relationship lasted 2 months :L (Once again- she literally posted all of this on her page! ).

She has been in love with at least 2 other guys since then! If anything I think she should maybe stick with the single life for a bit. :rolleyes:

I remember that story from here. I'm full sure you posted a few of her statuses from that time!! :D:pac:

Big Bag of Chips

She has to have posted at least 1 - I'm sick of people talking behind my back, thinking they know about my life. You know sht... So don't think you know me or know anything about me etc etc


(obviously spelt in that language that I can't grasp - or that my autocorrect won't allow!)

Wilberto

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

I'm

drunk?? :P

Big Bag of Chips

Wilberto wrote: »

drunk?? :P

*hic*

Riesen_Meal

He's at it again, check out this little dinger :

I apologize in addvance of de peeple who wit tikets for gart bruks dats canseld, but for fuk sake ders MUCH mor important tings in de cuntry, hospitals, homeless, pay cuts, no room for elderly in A&E, childrens hospitals...tipicle guvernment..... get over it and talk about important tings, corupt fukers

Reply 1 - Lol grt minds think alike

OP - Its trew dow, again ill say guvernment ar *****

Reply 2 - Feck of D Im going d lost lol it's only a ticket ur rite worst things to worry about cuz x

Now whilst the sentiment is lovely, one would think that surely his phone should have some form of autocorrect, or has he programmed in all the wrong spelling of "tingz" in the dictionary...

FreeFallin94

Wilberto wrote: »

I remember that story from here. I'm full sure you posted a few of her statuses from that time!! :D:pac:

I forgot I posted about the failed-engagement bit actually Yeah, I have posted in this thread quite a few times and I am fairly sure every single time has been about the same girl :pac: She is incredibly entertaining. Sometimes it is hard to believe that she is a real person and not some sort of parody page.

Lucifer MorningStar

Some guy on my friends list is always liking his own posts

cantdecide

"just read garth mite pull out of all concerts"

A published writer and "qualified proofreader".

Muise...

cantdecide wrote: »

"just read garth mite pull out of all concerts"

A published writer and "qualified proofreader".

Gart musta bin ragin over it, de poor mite. xoxo

cynicalcough

Fieldog wrote: »

tipicle guverment....

"...

Haha

maximo31

'Serious nice people In thiland.walked through a mall with out a tee shirt . Three security men took a fence to it .an beat me half to death...tried to break my shoulder , back and legs weird bunch of ****s. Haha tell them that ure going to **** their mother grandmother , sister, and the say how much .... don't wear a tee shirt and they turn in to low flying helicopters . Would be a lovely place if their morals weren't up in their are. Any way having a great holiday only for loosing my bank card and definitely getting the worse beating of my life , twas like being in a Bruce Lee film....'

Accompanied by pictures taken by himself in the shower of some of the bruises!

pc7

jeez he was lucky he wasn't killed being hit by a fence

Fluxfan

"passports and tickets at the ready, Belfast here we come!!"

(Sent from person travelling from Roi)

iDave

'31 hours without food....still not hungry....must be a record for me.....think I might double it.'

Keep going lad do the world a favour

Fiolina

I just found a Fb page called " Love Angles".

It's nothing to do with geometry :eek:

Wilberto

Fiolina wrote: »

I just found a Fb page called " Love Angles".

It's nothing to do with geometry :eek:

Clearly, it has to do with different positions during the act of love. The different angles with which one's can be at.



:pac::pac:

Fiolina

Wilberto wrote: »

Clearly, it has to do with different positions during the act of love. The different angles with which one's can be at.



:pac::pac:

That's it hun:D

homemadecider

Status from Ricky Gervais just now:

Women, don't bother with fertility treatment. Just get a vicious dog and start smoking and wearing leggings. You'll have 6 kids in no time.

implausible

Fieldog wrote: »

de cuntry,

Best. Spelling. Ever.

peewee_44

Person A - No my parents just brought me up to understand and Write English. Guess they brought me up correctly.

Person B - Its right? Not write u dope lol

Person A - Lmfao no they brought me up to write correctly that's the right thing to do. Seriously go learn some grammar and stop drinking

How can you not know the difference between right and Write lol

House of Blaze

peewee_44 wrote: »

Person A - No my parents just brought me up to understand and Write English. Guess they brought me up correctly.

Person B - Its right? Not write u dope lol

Person A - Lmfao no they brought me up to write correctly that's the right thing to do. Seriously go learn some grammar and stop drinking

How can you not know the difference between right and Write lol

Lol indeed!