Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names]

massdebater

This dung popped up on my newsfeed today

A worried woman went to her gynecologist and said:

'Doctor, I have a serious problem and desperately need your help! My baby is not even 1 year old and I'm pregnant again. I don't want kids so close together.'

So the doctor said: 'Ok and what do you want me to do?'

She said: 'I want you to end my pregnancy, and I'm counting on your help with this.'

The doctor thought for a little, and after some silence he said to the lady: 'I think I have a better solution for your problem. It's less dangerous for you too.'

She smiled, thinking that the doctor was going to accept her request.

Then he continued: 'You see, in order for you not to have to take care of 2 babies at the same time, let's kill the one in your arms. This way, you could rest some before the other one is born. If we're going to kill one of them, it doesn't matter which one it is. There would be no risk for your body if you chose the one in your arms.'

The lady was horrified and said: 'No doctor! How terrible! It's a crime to kill a child!'

'I agree', the doctor replied. 'But you seemed to be OK with it, so I thought maybe that was the best solution.'

The doctor smiled, realizing that he had made his point.

He convinced the mom that there is no difference in killing a child that's already been born and one that's still in the womb. The crime is the same!

If you agree, please SHARE.

Together we can help save precious lives!

Mother of sufferin jayses

krudler

massdebater wrote: »

This dung popped up on my newsfeed today



Mother of sufferin jayses

Waffle level: Iona Institute

Quazzie

massdebater wrote: »

This dung popped up on my newsfeed today



Mother of sufferin jayses

Wait, which one was Jesus, the one in the womb or the one already born?

Loughc

massdebater wrote: »

This dung popped up on my newsfeed today



Mother of sufferin jayses

100 more likes and she keeps BOTH babies.

Thoie

Loughc wrote: »

100 more likes and she keeps BOTH babies.

And with 150 likes, she gets this fabulous set of saucepans!

massdebater

massdebater wrote: »

This dung popped up on my newsfeed today



Mother of sufferin jayses

AND THEN AN EAGLE SWOOPED IN AND LANDED ON THE FLAG AND THAT KID'S NAME WAS EINSTEIN

Nib

Is it me or does this drive anyone else absolutely mad? Say a person's surname is O'Neill and the illiterate clown has it as ONeill or O Neill. Not an apostrophe to be seen.

Aaaarghhh!

yerwanthere123

"im not going to violent"

gfhgf.JPG

coolhull

yerwanthere123 wrote: »

"im not going to violent"

gfhgf.JPG

Isn't it great how she keeps everything to herself and doesn't let the whole world know her family business>
''What happens on the mile, stays on the mile''

Digital Solitude

yerwanthere123 wrote: »

"im not going to violent"

gfhgf.JPG

Comment "Rhythm is a dancer"

Nib

"gaurds"

http://media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/736x/7f/18/a8/7f18a81e7e2770a6cf46ff029faa456a.jpg

FactCheck

yerwanthere123 wrote: »

"im not going to violent"

gfhgf.JPG

Not just any whore, but a whore from guranabraher!

(Or was the name caller supposed to be from guranabraher?! WHY IS IT RELEVANT?!)

Clankatron

yerwanthere123 wrote: »

"im not going to violent"

gfhgf.JPG

That depressed the hell out of me for some reason.

Rosie Rant

I find posts like this :

"Add me on snapchat if ur a bit of fun bimbo_88"

SO annoying!! It makes the person sound like one of those late night "chat line" ads.

And those iphone pics that you can add your own captions to get annoying when the person posts them every couple of hours. I saw a post about someone who had a hangover last week. They're annoying enough- but did he have to add the pic of him standing pouty-faced in front of the wine display in Tesco with the caption "Wine. FML"?
Ugh.

eternal

yerwanthere123 wrote: »

"im not going to violent"

gfhgf.JPG

Absolute mind fu**. You have to laugh.

Un Croissant

Hi lads n lassies just cleaning up my fbk so if I block you its nothing personal just that I have nothing in common wit you

spitfireIRL

Been lazy al day think itz gna b a lng nyt

mfceiling

Un Croissant wrote: »

Hi lads n lassies just cleaning up my fbk so if I block you its nothing personal just that I have nothing in common wit you

Like the ability to spell...

NormalBob Ubiquitypants

There are about a million reasons why I love my husband- but this week he has shown me two more. He surprised me with perfect-for-me flowers out of the blue. Today, he wrote me a love poem via text message because he knew I was stuck in a purgatory of never ending meetings... Everyday he shows me a love I never knew could exist in this world, a love that is my greatest adventure of all. — feeling smitten

kunst nugget

NormalBob Ubiquitypants wrote: »

There are about a million reasons why I love my husband- but this week he has shown me two more. He surprised me with perfect-for-me flowers out of the blue. Today, he wrote me a love poem via text message because he knew I was stuck in a purgatory of never ending meetings... Everyday he shows me a love I never knew could exist in this world, a love that is my greatest adventure of all. — feeling smitten

There's a husband having an affair if ever I've seen one.

Bang_Bang

NormalBob Ubiquitypants wrote: »

There are about a million reasons why I love my husband- but this week he has shown me two more. He surprised me with perfect-for-me flowers out of the blue.(because he's feeling guilty) Today, he wrote me a love poem via text message (while he was bonking his secret bit on the side) because he knew I was stuck in a purgatory of never ending meetings... HAPPY DAYS, bonk, bonk, bonk....Everyday he shows me a love I never knew could exist in this world, a love that is my greatest adventure of all. — feeling smitten

I just adjusted your post accordingly.

Ihatecuddles

I was a status last week. It was a big long story about how a group of men from Turkey or somewhere add you on Facebook and find out where you live. Then they steal your kids.

My cousin shared it saying 'Sorry I just deleted every foreign person from my friends list, can't be too careful' Then someone commented on it saying 'Thats crazy, you just never know'

SkyBlueClouds

''I hate cancer it's awful. Like this status if you want to beat cancer and show how much you care.''

No. Just no.

rawn

SkyBlueClouds wrote: »

''I hate cancer it's awful. Like this status if you want to beat cancer and show how much you care.''

No. Just no.

You monster.

SkyBlueClouds

rawn wrote: »

You monster.

I agreed with the sentiment. The manner in which it was put up with the intention of harvesting ''likes'' was what pissed me off.

rawn

SkyBlueClouds wrote: »

I agreed with the sentiment. The manner in which it was put up with the intention of harvesting ''likes'' was what pissed me off.

Lyk if u cry evrytym

honerbright

*picture of sick child*
"like this picture and comment amen to pray. Your amen works"

I'm so glad no one is dying anymore because we can all push a button on a website.

SkyBlueClouds

honerbright wrote: »

*picture of sick child*
"like this picture and comment amen to pray. Your amen works"

I'm so glad no one is dying anymore because we can all push a button on a website.

Exactly. All those type of status updates = instant unfollow

boardyet?

It really annoys me when people post a status update like "Just got the most amazing news" then don't say what it is...

kunst nugget

boardyet? wrote: »

It really annoys me when people post a status update like "Just got the most amazing news" then don't say what it is...

They just got the newspaper called 'The Most Amazing News', what's the problem?

P.S. It really ain't as amazing as they make out.

pedro1234

damnit, how do you pronounce economics? I can never be sure.

diograis

kunst nugget wrote: »

They just got the newspaper called 'The Most Amazing News', what's the problem?

P.S. It really ain't as amazing as they make out.

dildo in dutch is "kunst penis", unrelated but there ya go

Carson10

"10k done and dusted"

Fudge You

Carson10 wrote: »

"10k done and dusted"

This must be the first person ever to such a massive distance. What a hero. I hate this person

rawn

"Wish I had a tea pot, that way I can watch love/hate without getting up"

Boo-fúcking-hoo.

SkyBlueClouds

''Please someone tell me good products for wavy/curly hair. If I use products for corse hair it works on the day but the next day my hair is so greasy It needs washing and if I use products for fine hair my hair is frizzy and dry. Someone help meeeeee. I'm going mad with greasy hair and it's not sexxxxy at all.''

What The Fudge?!

coolhull

SkyBlueClouds wrote: »

''Please someone tell me good products for wavy/curly hair. If I use products for corse hair it works on the day but the next day my hair is so greasy It needs washing and if I use products for fine hair my hair is frizzy and dry. Someone help meeeeee. I'm going mad with greasy hair and it's not sexxxxy at all.''

What The Fudge?!

Telling the world about her greasy hair is not really ''sexxxxy'' either :mad:

SkyBlueClouds

coolhull wrote: »

Telling the world about her greasy hair is not really ''sexxxxy'' either :mad:

Most recent gems from this beauty include: 'Despise seeing a fake gucci belt hanging out' and 'Hope my babes had a good birthday yesterday sorry I couldn't make it love you xx' :rolleyes:

kunst nugget

diograis wrote: »

dildo in dutch is "kunst penis", unrelated but there ya go

And 'kunst nugget' is dutch for exquisitely well hung, witty conversationalist. I think.

Tetra

"God took an Angel home a few days ago. "You were my best friend, the love of my life my wirld. you were a wonderful father, step father, son, nephew and friend. you had a heart of gold a caring soul and always helping others. you will be missed dearly but never forgotten. I love you my baby. Rest In Paradise"

Someone asked "what happened? I'm so sorry"

Reply "Im not discussing details on facebook you have my number have the decency to phone not ask me what happened on a public web sight"

Tetra

"Today I realized how incredibly disappointed I am with people's understanding of the universe and existence in general. Even basic concepts like cause and effect seem to be impossible for others to understand over great scales of time and great distances of space.
I don't blame people for this really, because the scale of these things is difficult to comprehend, but absolutely possible to visualize with a bit of effort. What bothers me is when people ask for the answers but then get angry over hearing things which are factual yet go against their previous belief system or understanding of existence.
And again, this is not their fault either. But they do have the capacity to learn to understand it. And once the concepts are understood they are easy to accept.
I guess the real problem for me is that because of the incredibly detailed and complex understanding I have of the universe, there are very few, if any, people that I can relate to who truly understand these things the way I do. It's actually extremely lonely for me. I just wish I had at least one person that I could truly connect with on that level.
— feeling alone."

EuskalHerria

Tetra wrote: »

"Today I realized how incredibly disappointed I am with people's understanding of the universe and existence in general. Even basic concepts like cause and effect seem to be impossible for others to understand over great scales of time and great distances of space.
I don't blame people for this really, because the scale of these things is difficult to comprehend, but absolutely possible to visualize with a bit of effort. What bothers me is when people ask for the answers but then get angry over hearing things which are factual yet go against their previous belief system or understanding of existence.
And again, this is not their fault either. But they do have the capacity to learn to understand it. And once the concepts are understood they are easy to accept.
I guess the real problem for me is that because of the incredibly detailed and complex understanding I have of the universe, there are very few, if any, people that I can relate to who truly understand these things the way I do. It's actually extremely lonely for me. I just wish I had at least one person that I could truly connect with on that level.
— feeling alone."

Guaranteed to have watched the latest series of Cosmos, but now has a PhD in cosmology.

coolhull

Tetra wrote: »

"Today I realized how incredibly disappointed I am with people's understanding of the universe and existence in general. Even basic concepts like cause and effect seem to be impossible for others to understand over great scales of time and great distances of space.
I don't blame people for this really, because the scale of these things is difficult to comprehend, but absolutely possible to visualize with a bit of effort. What bothers me is when people ask for the answers but then get angry over hearing things which are factual yet go against their previous belief system or understanding of existence.
And again, this is not their fault either. But they do have the capacity to learn to understand it. And once the concepts are understood they are easy to accept.
I guess the real problem for me is that because of the incredibly detailed and complex understanding I have of the universe, there are very few, if any, people that I can relate to who truly understand these things the way I do. It's actually extremely lonely for me. I just wish I had at least one person that I could truly connect with on that level.
— feeling alone."

Bit of an eejit, but at least he can spell, so WTF is he doing on Facebook?

MagicIRL

coolhull wrote: »

Bit of an eejit, but at least he can spell, so WTF is he doing on Facebook?

Where else are you going to write a heartfelt "I'm special" message and get three likes?

I'm delighted he sees things differently to the rest of us. It must be so great having a beautiful mind like his. Us regular folk will just have to keep going, being normal. Shame really.

FactCheck

Tetra wrote: »

"Today I realized how incredibly disappointed I am with people's understanding of the universe and existence in general. Even basic concepts like cause and effect seem to be impossible for others to understand over great scales of time and great distances of space.
I don't blame people for this really, because the scale of these things is difficult to comprehend, but absolutely possible to visualize with a bit of effort. What bothers me is when people ask for the answers but then get angry over hearing things which are factual yet go against their previous belief system or understanding of existence.
And again, this is not their fault either. But they do have the capacity to learn to understand it. And once the concepts are understood they are easy to accept.
I guess the real problem for me is that because of the incredibly detailed and complex understanding I have of the universe, there are very few, if any, people that I can relate to who truly understand these things the way I do. It's actually extremely lonely for me. I just wish I had at least one person that I could truly connect with on that level.
— feeling alone."

I want to kill this guy.

leggo

All because he can't get his bit...

kunst nugget

EuskalHerria wrote: »

Guaranteed to have watched the latest series of Cosmos, but now has a PhD in cosmology.

I'd say it's more likely that he just finished watching Star Trek: The Next Generation on Netflix. Make it so, Number One.

marcbrophy

Tetra, if that person is so clever, ask them to explain this one to you in plain English

New particle discovered

kunst nugget

marcbrophy wrote: »

Tetra, if that person is so clever, ask them to explain this one to you in plain English

New particle discovered

You know when you girlfriend be tripping and she be saying 'I'm fine' but you know she really not fine at all. That's her being a Major Anas…

RainyDay

From a local builder, who seems to be diversifying into the fresh veg market;

After The high winds and rain last night if you have any leeks or missing slates gives us a call and we will get them repaired or replaced