Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names]

I'm old so I can assault people yay

Poor Uncle Tom

bluewolf wrote: »

I'm old so I can assault people yay

don't forget to include a water installer's van just to get the radicals on board.....

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

A water meter installer driving without due care, this thread is going to end well.

ScumLord

Is there something in the terms and conditions of Facebook that posts have to read like the person that wrote them is brain damaged?

Applause

kunst nugget wrote: »

Because everyone knows how what it's like to have a raging hangover…

I've only had alcohol around five times, never more than one glass, so I don't have a clue what it's like to have a hangover.

swiftman

This caught me out. Very funny

A few months ago i lent out close to €750.00.
At the time i was their best mate, continuously calling and chatting about everything but now they always find an excuse not to talk when i call.
Well, thank God i don´t need the money at the moment but it is getting out of hand and as i think i´ll never get to see that money again i thought i´d post this person´s profile so no one else will lend the ****er a euro again.
Be very wary of this person!!!This is their profile: (links it to your own profile)

Comment under it, she fell for it
"Dis is my profile page I dnt no ye ye fukin liein bastrd ye want me address I'll meet ye face t face ye fukin horror! Nevr owed a fukr a penny imme life!!!!"

Then she shared the statues on her page 40 mins later
"Read dis mornin is it jus me r dus ny1 else tink dis is a bit sick??? Ders jokes nd givin sum1 a minor fukin heart attack!!!! W t f is wrong wit people????"

swiftman

This caught me out. Very funny

A few months ago i lent out close to €750.00.
At the time i was their best mate, continuously calling and chatting about everything but now they always find an excuse not to talk when i call.
Well, thank God i don´t need the money at the moment but it is getting out of hand and as i think i´ll never get to see that money again i thought i´d post this person´s profile so no one else will lend the ****er a euro again.
Be very wary of this person!!!This is their profile: (links it to your own profile)

Comment under it, she fell for it
"Dis is my profile page I dnt no ye ye fukin liein bastrd ye want me address I'll meet ye face t face ye fukin horror! Nevr owed a fukr a penny imme life!!!!"

Then she shared the statues on her page 40 mins later
"Read dis mornin is it jus me r dus ny1 else tink dis is a bit sick??? Ders jokes nd givin sum1 a minor fukin heart attack!!!! W t f is wrong wit people????"

Grayson

ScumLord wrote: »

Is there something in the terms and conditions of Facebook that posts have to read like the person that wrote them is brain damaged?

My feed has nothing like the stuff that's posted here. One batsh1t crazy hippy posting crystal statuses but that's it. I'm actually a horrific typist so I think my occasional typos are probably worse than any of my friends.

implausible

swiftman wrote: »

This caught me out. Very funny

A few months ago i lent out close to €750.00.
At the time i was their best mate, continuously calling and chatting about everything but now they always find an excuse not to talk when i call.
Well, thank God i don´t need the money at the moment but it is getting out of hand and as i think i´ll never get to see that money again i thought i´d post this person´s profile so no one else will lend the ****er a euro again.
Be very wary of this person!!!This is their profile: (links it to your own profile)

Comment under it, she fell for it
"Dis is my profile page I dnt no ye ye fukin liein bastrd ye want me address I'll meet ye face t face ye fukin horror! Nevr owed a fukr a penny imme life!!!!"

Then she shared the statues on her page 40 mins later
"Read dis mornin is it jus me r dus ny1 else tink dis is a bit sick??? Ders jokes nd givin sum1 a minor fukin heart attack!!!! W t f is wrong wit people????"

What? I can't figure out who's who.

Omackeral

fussyonion wrote: »

"Ova d moon got news today dat dey finally have a council house for me and my princess im just delited"

"id say u r hun thats great"
"trilled 2 bitz 4 ye an ur little minime"
"well dun darlin didn i tel ya ya'd get sumwhere soon if ya kept bajering sin fein"
"congratz chick im glad an after all uve bin tru"
"tanks girlos im off to bnq tomoro an get dis kip furnished! lampshades n duvetts all de way an dont 4get the housewarmin in a few weeks we'l blo the roof off de gaff"
"dat we will darlin dat we will. so proud of u chicken"
"tanx ma"

I am working Christmas Eve and Christmas Day this year to fund the likes of this. Amazing.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

When god made me a traveller he told me I could roam free
He said you don't need a house the land can be your home
He gave me grass to lie on
He gave me hedges and trees
He doses my day with sunset and reopens it with a breeze
He promised me lots of laughter
He said I would suffer pain
And after each break in sunshine there would be dark clouds of rain
You gorjies will never accept me as long as I live on your land
But god is always telling me he'll be there to hold my hand
And so I tell you gorjies I don't mind where I roam
Because god is there beside me and will always provide a home

Lisha

God told me 'thou shalt not steal'

coolhull

LexieOnRale wrote: »

When god made me a traveller he told me I could roam free
He said you don't need a house the land can be your home
He gave me grass to lie on
He gave me hedges and trees
He doses my day with sunset and reopens it with a breeze
He promised me lots of laughter
He said I would suffer pain
And after each break in sunshine there would be dark clouds of rain
You gorjies will never accept me as long as I live on your land
But god is always telling me he'll be there to hold my hand
And so I tell you gorjies I don't mind where I roam
Because god is there beside me and will always provide a home

But. . . I thought Seamus Heaney died last year

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Lisha wrote: »

God told me 'thou shalt not steal'

I was going to put does god hold your hand when you've it on someone else's property too but don't want my house burnt to the ground and stripped for copper

Thoie

jamesbere wrote: »

If you don't like and share this in 20 seconds that old man will come and punch you in the face.

Ow!

Loughc

I saw this little beauty yesterday,

"I'm so proud of my little man, he's telling everyone he'll kick dere brains in. No fear on him."

Yea her "little man" is 3.... You stay classy....

Paddy Cow

Loughc wrote: »

I saw this little beauty yesterday,

"I'm so proud of my little man, he's telling everyone he'll kick dere brains in. No fear on him."

Yea her "little man" is 3.... You stay classy....

She might thinks it's cute now but wait until he's 13 and pulling the same sh!te

Taylor365

Loughc wrote: »

I saw this little beauty yesterday,

"I'm so proud of my little man, he's telling everyone he'll kick dere brains in. No fear on him."

Yea her "little man" is 3.... You stay classy....

Wouldn't want to say it to the wrong 3 year old, $hit be goin down son! :eek:

dirkmeister

Loughc wrote: »

I saw this little beauty yesterday,

"I'm so proud of my little man, he's telling everyone he'll kick dere brains in. No fear on him."

Yea her "little man" is 3.... You stay classy....

I'm sick to the back teeth of people calling their children "little man" or "little lady"

They are CHILDREN.

Generic Dreadhead

dirkmeister wrote: »

I'm sick to the back teeth of people calling their children "little man" or "little lady"

They are CHILDREN.

Parents give having children a bad name

fussyonion

I'm sick of people calling their daughters "Princess"
"Going to Nando's with princess".
SHE'S NOT A PRINCESS AND ARE WE MEANT TO THINK SHE IS?!

rawn

PICTURE

My friend shared this with "Wow I wonder if this is true xx"

I literally facepalmed.

dee_mc

rawn wrote: »

PICTURE

My friend shared this with "Wow I wonder if this is true xx"

I literally facepalmed.

Ha that's funny! A robin flew in to the shop where I work and a customer went mental and said 'It's a sign there'll be a death in your family!' - she wasn't impressed when I said 'how do you know it doesn't mean there'll be a death in your family?!'

Guy:Incognito

"don't scroll down without commenting amen"


One of them was a picture of jesus saying he'll bless you if you comment amen or some ****

**** off.

Un Croissant

Guy:Incognito wrote: »

"don't scroll down without commenting amen"


One of them was a picture of jesus saying he'll bless you if you comment amen or some ****

**** off.

I saw that too. Embarrassing.

pc7

Guy:Incognito wrote: »

"

One of them was a picture of jesus saying he'll bless you if you comment amen or some ****

**** off.

Wonder how many facebook friends Jesus has?

yellowlabrador

I love this make a video for a friend app everyone is doing..........see everyone is doing it witch make it poo!!!! so ill do one for my friends, hanks guys for putting up with me ....and if you think you have loads of real friends your lying to your self x

Un Croissant

yellowlabrador wrote: »

I love this make a video for a friend app everyone is doing..........see everyone is doing it witch make it poo!!!! so ill do one for my friends, hanks guys for putting up with me ....and if you think you have loads of real friends your lying to your self x

Ugggh. Poo??

Grayson

rawn wrote: »

PICTURE

My friend shared this with "Wow I wonder if this is true xx"

I literally facepalmed.

They are psychotically territorial little fcukers. they will kill any other robin that happens to stray into their territory. If it's following you, it's probably just sizing you up

Digital Solitude

This is a pic of her name if that's not obvious :pac: this family is a constant source of crap like this

Darkglasses

Digital Solitude wrote: »

"if you can't understand my silence...how can I expect you to understand my words?"

Jeeeesus. That angries up the blood.

dori_dormer

Someone just posted a Pic of their new born with the name Autum-Raine....

Neither word spelt correctly and born on a foggy day in winter... Confusing much?

Imagine having to tell everyone your name was autumn rain?? Not even middle name Raine, it's hypenated so that's the poor child's whole first name!

Generic Dreadhead

She's gonna make a fine stripper

kunst nugget

Darkglasses wrote: »

Jeeeesus. That angries up the blood.

Dude, you obviously don't deserve her at her best if you can't handle her at her worst.

kunst nugget

Cormac... wrote: »

She's gonna make a fine stripper

She's Autum-Raine… and she's very wet…

Jesus, what an awful fúcking name. Up there with Drew Peacock.

http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a70/troutylow/droopycock.jpg

dee_mc

dori_dormer wrote: »

Someone just posted a Pic of their new born with the name Autum-Raine....

Neither word spelt correctly and born on a foggy day in winter... Confusing much?

Imagine having to tell everyone your name was autumn rain?? Not even middle name Raine, it's hypenated so that's the poor child's whole first name!

Wynter Fogge would have been adorable

jamesbere

dori_dormer wrote: »

Someone just posted a Pic of their new born with the name Autum-Raine....

Neither word spelt correctly and born on a foggy day in winter... Confusing much?

Imagine having to tell everyone your name was autumn rain?? Not even middle name Raine, it's hypenated so that's the poor child's whole first name!

Well if she doesn't become a weather girl, there's something wrong

pc7

Ah purple would have been a better name, although they might have gone with it this way - Poorple-Raign

rawn

My uncle who loves posting silly, misinformed, sensationalist anti-government captioned pictures just posted this. There's not enough face-palm. Who actually makes these things?! Derp

dee_mc

rawn wrote: »

My uncle who loves posting silly, misinformed, sensationalist anti-government captioned pictures just posted this. There's not enough face-palm. Who actually makes these things?! Derp

Excellent photoshop though in fairness

rawn

dee_mc wrote: »

Excellent photoshop though in fairness

Photoshop?

Love2love

A couple of times this week..... A murderer will kill you, a thief will rob you but you never know where you stand with a liar!!

Each time it got shared and liked and a couple of "too true" or "hope ur ok Hun"

Now correct me if I'm wrong.... Can't you just expect a liar to lie to you?? And I think I'd prefer someone lie to me than kill / steal from me!

yerwanthere123

On the bus wile ago and it went around the long boring country way,the bus got stopped up on the road,and here was cows and baby cows running in a field,they got scared of the bus or something and I was just bored watching them,but the weirdest thing happened,I caught the eye of a young clumsy looking cow and he stopped dead in his tracks and stood there staring into my eyes for well over 3 minutes(that's a long time!)and I stared back,it was weird!we had a connection or something,he had a look on his face that said"your not so scarylike all the other humans and mean farmers,you wont eat me will you",its like during that 3 minutes that little cow became my pet cow, but then I started feeling real guilty and like a traitor to the cow because little does he no iv probably f*cking eaten his grandparents and uncles and aunts and sh*t so I said run along little cow,im just like the rest of them,I'll only hurt you GO ON!!GET OUTA HEAR :"( . (good idea for a movie!haha) WHEN MAN AND COW BECOME BROS.

Pherekydes

dee_mc wrote: »

Wynter Fogge would have been adorable

Autumn Fogg

:D

dee_mc

Pherekydes wrote: »

Autumn Fogg

:D

IvyTheTerrible

yerwanthere123 wrote: »

Also, since when are cows male?

rawn

https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/8378065920/hE806FA39/

:rolleyes:

Generic Dreadhead

yerwanthere123 wrote: »

Typical Dub in a trip to the country side there. 1 look at a cow and they're reborn

FullblownRose

On the 'Dumb' status side : An FB friend was 'Fraped' by her child who was messing and having a laugh..and there were several posts.
They went something like this, all negative:

I smell, I poo in my pants, similar childish stuff..

and then..''I am a Jew''

I think this is pretty telling..

FullblownRose

On the 'Dumb' status side : An FB friend was 'Fraped' by her child who was messing and having a laugh..and there were several posts.
They went something like this, all negative:

I smell, I poo in my pants, similar childish stuff..

and then..''I am a Jew''

I think this is pretty telling..