Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names]

RainyDay

This one popped up to make everyone feel all warm and cheery

In 1986, Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Louisiana State University .

On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Peter approached it very carefully. He got down on one knee, inspected the elephants foot, and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it. As carefully and as gently as he could, Peter worked the wood out with his knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot.

The elephant turned to face the man and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments. Peter stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned and walked away. Peter never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.

Twenty years later, Peter was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenaged son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Peter and his son Cameron were standing. The large bull elephant stared at Peter, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.

Remembering the encounter in 1986, Peter could not help wondering if this was the same elephant. Peter summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Peter legs and slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly.

Probably wasn't the same ****ing elephant.

This is for everyone who sends me those heart-warming bull**** stories.

Lisha

RainyDay wrote: »

This one popped up to make everyone feel all warm and cheery

Love it!!

Lisha

'Happy 2nd birthday to my best friend. Best 2yrs of my life, love you, Mammy'


Right where to start, I love being a parent too. But my children are not my friends. It's my job to care for them. It's not their job to fill a friendship void in my life. And also I doubt your 2yr old is on FB. Tell your child not a bunch of randomers who couldn't give a toss.

fussyonion

Lisha wrote: »

'Happy 2nd birthday to my best friend. Best 2yrs of my life, love you, Mammy'


Right where to start, I love being a parent too. But my children are not my friends. It's my job to care for them. It's not their job to fill a friendship void in my life. And also I doubt your 2yr old is on FB. Tell your child not a bunch of randomers who couldn't give a toss.

I also hate when someone posts stuff like
"Happy Birthday Nanny, 20 years gone today, miss you so much".
Not being cruel, but nobody on Facebook really cares.
And your Nanny can't see your post.

IvyTheTerrible

I know people posting suicide helpline numbers mean well, but there's a post being shared around for the last couple of years and it's a bloody american number. It's Irish people posting it, that will be no use to someone in crisis. I wish people would check. (I do always comment with an Irish number, but still).

The Enabler

fussyonion wrote: »

I also hate when someone posts stuff like
"Happy Birthday Nanny, 20 years gone today, miss you so much".
Not being cruel, but nobody on Facebook really cares.
And your Nanny can't see your post.

If it makes them feel better or if it's their way of remembering a loved one, what harm?

fussyonion

The Enabler wrote: »

If it makes them feel better or if it's their way of remembering a loved one, what harm?

I never said it was harming anyone. But the majority of people I see doing it are only doing it for attention/likes, etc.

Mint Aero

fussyonion wrote: »

I also hate when someone posts stuff like
"Happy Birthday Nanny, 20 years gone today, miss you so much".
Not being cruel, but nobody on Facebook really cares.
And your Nanny can't see your post.

Especially when the person "missing them so much" is 21 or something :rolleyes:

efb

fussyonion wrote: »

I never said it was harming anyone. But the majority of people I see doing it are only doing it for attention/likes, etc.

And this upsets you unnecessarily because???

implausible

IvyTheTerrible wrote: »

I know people posting suicide helpline numbers mean well, but there's a post being shared around for the last couple of years and it's a bloody american number. It's Irish people posting it, that will be no use to someone in crisis. I wish people would check. (I do always comment with an Irish number, but still).

People don't check these things. I regularly see missing people posts being shared, but often for people who have been found, one way or another. A quick Google will tell you if the person is still missing, before you share it.

BaZmO*

implausible wrote: »

People don't check these things. I regularly see missing people posts being shared, but often for people who have been found, one way or another. A quick Google will tell you if the person is still missing, before you share it.

You don't even have to Google, a quick check in the comments will normally tell you that they've been found..........in Melbourne, or somewhere equally far away from the person sharing the post.

LadyAthame

IvyTheTerrible wrote: »

I know people posting suicide helpline numbers mean well, but there's a post being shared around for the last couple of years and it's a bloody american number. It's Irish people posting it, that will be no use to someone in crisis. I wish people would check. (I do always comment with an Irish number, but still).

That sounds like something I would do.

IrishWelshCelt

"9 months old today! Where has the time gone! Such a pretty, funny little woman. We would all be lost without u [Child's name]! Lots of love mammy and daddy xxx — with [Child's father]."

Firstly who celebrates their 9 month anniversary? Also the girl is constantly posting messages addressed to her kid like shes on facebook or something. Also apparently does not know about the existence of the question mark.

Omackeral

fussyonion wrote: »

I never said it was harming anyone. But the majority of people I see doing it are only doing it for attention/likes, etc.

efb wrote: »

And this upsets you unnecessarily because???

What he posted is entirely in the spirit of this thread surely?

The Enabler

Omackeral wrote: »

What he posted is entirely in the spirit of this thread surely?

The title of the thread is "dumb/ great Facebook status". There's nothing particularly dumb or great about posting on the anniversary of a loved one.

mfceiling

The Enabler wrote: »

The title of the thread is "dumb/ great Facebook status". There's nothing particularly dumb or great about posting on the anniversary of a loved one.

20 years after they've died. Out with the fishing rod and let's see how many of those likes we can get...

spud82

"I sumtimes wonder y i gave my son and iPHONE 6 He never answers it when i ring him".and two mins later she posted he'd fallen asleep with "fone beside him pure wrecked after his confirmation telpis!"

Ed Winchester

spud82 wrote: »

"I sumtimes wonder y i gave my son and iPHONE 6 He never answers it when i ring him".and two mins later she posted he'd fallen asleep with "fone beside him pure wrecked after his confirmation telpis!"

What in the name of jaysis is a telpis?

spud82

Ed Winchester wrote: »

What in the name of jaysis is a telpis?

i think it's a version of god help us?? telpis??

dee_mc

Ed Winchester wrote: »

What in the name of jaysis is a telpis?

I have a feeling it's Scumbag for 'God help us'

Ed Winchester

I'm normally pretty handy at translating these things. But I'd never have guessed that in a million years!
Way out of touch. Thank god!

ratmouse

Ed Winchester wrote: »

I'm normally pretty handy at translating these things. But I'd never have guessed that in a million years!
Way out of touch. Thank god!

God telpya!

dee_mc

ratmouse wrote: »

God telpya!

'telpis all!

Toto Wolfcastle

Telpis. I think that's my new favourite. It's even better than the widespread misuse of 'anal'.

RainyDay

Bobblehead Panda wrote: »

Telpis. I think that's my new favourite. It's even better than the widespread misuse of 'anal'.

I have to disagree. Widespread anal is much better.

the_monkey

fussyonion wrote: »

I never said it was harming anyone. But the majority of people I see doing it are only doing it for attention/likes, etc.

Sums up facebook doesn't it ?

Boom_Bap

A friend of mine thinks of herself as a script writer. Fair play to her for doing something she is passionate about and gets my full support.
But when she posts a picture of the title page of her new finished screenplay and forgets to remove the Page I of II from the screenshot, it kind of makes me think it's all bullsheiet.

The Enabler

mfceiling wrote: »

20 years after they've died. Out with the fishing rod and let's see how many of those likes we can get...

Well if its their 20th anniversary why shouldn't they post about it? Don't see why that would get people's backs up to be honest. Even if it is fishing for likes, who cares? Everybody posts on Facebook to get likes and interaction. What would be the point otherwise?

kunst nugget

Boom_Bap wrote: »

A friend of mine thinks of herself as a script writer. Fair play to her for doing something she is passionate about and gets my full support.
But when she posts a picture of the title page of her new finished screenplay and forgets to remove the Page I of II from the screenshot, it kind of makes me think it's all bullsheiet.

Maybe it's an updating of Beckett's Breath.

Fakman87

The Enabler wrote: »

Well if its their 20th anniversary why shouldn't they post about it? Don't see why that would get people's backs up to be honest. Even if it is fishing for likes, who cares? Everybody posts on Facebook to get likes and interaction. What would be the point otherwise?

Apt username :P

Lollipops23

Boom_Bap wrote: »

A friend of mine thinks of herself as a script writer. Fair play to her for doing something she is passionate about and gets my full support.
But when she posts a picture of the title page of her new finished screenplay and forgets to remove the Page I of II from the screenshot, it kind of makes me think it's all bullsheiet.

Title pages often have sub-footers, the (ii) part could be a table of contents/references or something similar.

Zymurgist

"There brave now sendin me threatin msgs and accusing me off things.. Since your locked up but they wouldn say it to my face when you weren. . Afraid much!! Good cheese burger they need! Xx"

A good cheese burger wtf

aaronjumper

So many levels of derp in such a short status.

Taylor365

Zymurgist wrote: »

Good cheese burger they need!

I believe this denotes to the ancient hebrew proverb Al Tiqneh Hatul Basaq.



Which translates to : Don't buy a cat in the sack.





Which means, U GON DYE!

Guy:Incognito

Is it not a sexual act?

nobody told me

"Don't you just hate liars always get caught out should hide stuff properly if the don't want to get caught out and the worse thing is they think were TICK lol -feeling amused"

Not as amused as I was was when I read the post I can guarantee it.

nobody told me

Same one here, this is brilliant if you can decipher it.

i had deleted me page but is it not enough u ruin a family now ur saying i started on some1 when i wasnt out and u tell me to watch me back haha lol i was not out the night i getting accused 4 so bring it on tough girl o i forgot the ###### are the mafia ****ting but my daughter was there so u will be sorry telling me to watch me back u watch urs i know u can see this so bring it on

coolhull

nobody told me wrote: »

Same one here, this is brilliant if you can decipher it.

i had deleted me page but is it not enough u ruin a family now ur saying i started on some1 when i wasnt out and u tell me to watch me back haha lol i was not out the night i getting accused 4 so bring it on tough girl o i forgot the ###### are the mafia ****ting but my daughter was there so u will be sorry telling me to watch me back u watch urs i know u can see this so bring it on

Did Shakespeare write this? I'ts kinda like his style of literature :o

Loughc

Saw this beaut last night,

"Paranoia is just total awareness"

Yeahhhhh....

TheChevron

nobody told me wrote: »

Same one here, this is brilliant if you can decipher it.

i had deleted me page but is it not enough u ruin a family now ur saying i started on some1 when i wasnt out and u tell me to watch me back haha lol i was not out the night i getting accused 4 so bring it on tough girl o i forgot the ###### are the mafia ****ting but my daughter was there so u will be sorry telling me to watch me back u watch urs i know u can see this so bring it on

That one is not even that bad. A few full stops and it would be perfectly legible.

TheChevron

This just broke my phone:

I am very. Sick of all my family going around could inf own trouble it mammy is do it all all day are
Is h
S.e all day any good for is report people sick out fall back on there door step

http://w14.imgup.net/wat7c4d.jpg

Pawwed Rig

That is just random words

Axel Lamp

Pawwed Rig wrote: »

That is just random words

Some aren't even words, just letters randomly combined.

De Bhál

wtf
can someone translate that one.

Ok I'll have a stab at it.



I'm very sick of all my family going around. It doesn't trouble mammy to do it all.
They are ****e, all they are good for is reporting people who are out sick and what goes around comes around.

MonkstownHoop

De Bhál wrote: »

wtf
can someone translate that one.

Ok I'll have a stab at it.



I'm very sick of all my family going around. It doesn't trouble mammy to do it all.
They are ****e, all they are good for is reporting people who are out sick and what goes around comes around.

Still mind boggling

De Bhál

MonkstownHoop wrote: »

Still mind boggling

it is a tough one.
I think her mother ratted on her.

I could be completely wrong.

Kovu

De Bhál wrote: »

wtf
can someone translate that one.

Ok I'll have a stab at it.



I'm very sick of all my family going around. It doesn't trouble mammy to do it all.
They are ****e, all they are good for is reporting people who are out sick and what goes around comes around.

Ha! I thought she was on about the HSE :pac::D

De Bhál

Kovu wrote: »

Ha! I thought she was on about the HSE :pac::D

Could very well be.

milltown

TheChevron wrote: »

This just broke my phone:




http://w14.imgup.net/wat7c4d.jpg

That just looks like one of those challenge things where you keep pressing the auto suggestion button on your phone and see what comes out!

TheChevron

Right, I have more statuses from this person that I will blank out and try get up. It might make cracking the code a bit easier. I'm still baffled by that status though, even after reading all the other ones.